I Realized
I Made A Huge Mistake

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Author's POV

Jungkook was stunned. That was an understatement.

As if a ghost was standing in front of him, his face was pale and his doe's eyes were opened so wide that whoever saw this probably thought his eyeballs would come out. But oh luckily it didn't.

There, Hoseok and Yoongi were both standing in front of the door; wearing the formal uniform of the South Korean military with their backpacks that looked exactly like Jimin's hanging behind them. Now, now... that's not the problem. What made Jungkook react the way he did was that Hoseok was holding Min-Ha in his arms. And just like some sense knocked inside his head; realization rammed over him.

He almost forgot her existence.

Well, at least that's what it seemed like. But who was he to deny the lacuna inside him was now filled again with unexplainable feelings after catching a glimpse of the unexpected sight? It's been a while, a week or two actually since the last time he saw her and though he didn't mention it; deep inside he always wanted to see Min-Ha again.

He just didn't want to admit it yet. Like usual...

It's not like he wanted to, it's weird. Who was he to even care for the kid, moreover miss her? If he tells Taehyung and Ji-Eun about this matter, they might end up teasing him for the rest of his life and nope; he's not ready to face such torture of his family. But it just happened naturally and honestly, as much as he was thinking about the general; on the other side of his heart, he would always be thinking of her.

And now she was right in front of him, it takes every inch of him to not just take Min-Ha in his arms. He hates it, he never wanted things to be like this but cingulomania hit him like nothing before.

"Jungkook?!"

He snapped his head towards where he believed the voice came from as his thoughts abruptly stopped by the call out. It was no surprise that he was met with Hoseok's concerned face, scanning him as if he wanted to check if everything is alright. Jungkook chuckled insincerely at that, he must be zoned out for a long time to receive such a facial expression from the guy.

"Are you okay? Did you listen to what Jimin just said?"

"Ah, yeah I'm fine, just thinking about something earlier. Apologies, mind explaining it again?" He shrugged off, hoping that the other would not question further and get to the point as he fixed his eyes on Jimin who unsurprisingly was already staring at him with a cognizant look. That led him to maintain his undisturbed representation, acting so fucking dumb just to ignore those Phoenix eyes that were driving him tristful.

"We have an emergency situation at the military headquarters and as the highest command, I ought to be there. Usually, these two will take care of Min-Ha but in circumstances like this- which is the first time it happened- where we all needed to go to the base, I have no one to take care of her for the time being." Jimin explained and yeah, no shit Sherlock for Jungkook who was trying hard now to not be freaked out by the news. No, he didn't care about whatsoever shit was happening because that was not his problem. But what caught his awareness is where the conversation led later.

He didn't want to imagine, hell he didn't want to even think about it but a part of him already could tell what was about to happen and he was so fucking sure he won't like it. Hence, that's why he needed to act absurdly as much as possible despite the fact that it would hurt his ego. Please... don't fucking say it, he prayed inside his head. If all this time he didn't believe in angels and god, he's sure he believed it now when he was literally begging for the love of heaven and everything holy to prove his thought is wrong.

What else could he do other than that right? At the end of the day, you could do absolutely nothing but live your life based on what was already written for you that we, humans; called fate.

But oh, fate is a fucker in this case and it loved to fucked up Jungkook's life so fucking badly. And now that he thinks it back, his life has been going ridiculously well with no usual bullshit he would and needed to face every other day. He didn't realize it before but now when he does, he's more terrified to know where this conversation leads because there's a huge chance of this becoming his life's destruction. Fuck, he's not ready for it.

"I was thinking..." No, don't you dare say it.

"For you to take care of Min-Ha for a few days before I got her a trusted nanny." FUCK!

This is it, the fuckening of his life. Jungkook knows that life is unfair but this...? This is fucking ludicrous. This is really a karmasutra.

Damn it.

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"Let's start the session, shall we?" The psychologist with the name Kim NamJoon asked while adjusting the rounded glasses on his nose bridge as a soft smile spread across his face; showing his sweet pair of dimples.

Jungkook on the other hand could only let out an exhausted sigh as he plopped himself on an olive drab-coloured couch that was facing the older man's office table that too; in the same colour. He glanced around just to remember again that almost all the space in the room was themed in military green shade and that made him frown. He still doesn't understand why they need to choose such an ugly colour, is it because this facility was under the military? He laid his eyes on the badge that was hung against the wall; big enough for his hazel orbs to read that it is South Korea's military appreciation certificate for NamJoon's service after 10 years.

Damn- just how old this man is? Jungkook stared at him for a moment before he decided to not give a fuck and shrugged it off. He already went through the worst today, he didn't want to add more headaches than he already has.

"Yeah, I am."

"That's good, let's start with the usual questions..." NamJoon said, grabbing a clipboard on the table in the middle of them along with a pen while Jungkook only nodded; feeling himself too lazy to reply using words. The older man adjusted his glasses one more time before clearing his throat in a serious manner.

"Ever since you woke up at the hospital, have you experienced any heavy headaches?"

"No... Never." Jungkook responded after thinking for a while.

"That's good, it means you're doing just great and the side effect of the accident didn't happen as we predicted it to be. " The male concluded. "Well then, let's move on to the next question... Have you experienced any flash of unknown scenes in your mind that you felt awfully familiar with but you never faced?" Namjoon continued to interrogate with his dragon eyes analyzing his patient expression.

Hearing the question, Jungkook snapped his mouth together while thinking over the words again. It reminded him of what happened lately and even though it was in a different context, the base was still the same.

"No, but..." He quickly added the pause, biting his lower lips in hesitation yet nevertheless decided to say it after a few seconds of considering. He got nothing to lose anyway, it was his session and he could say anything he felt like he wanted to do so. "Lately, I came across new people and found their names or anything about them knowledgeable. As if I knew them beforehand, I got comfortable way too fast around them." Jungkook finished his explanation with a frown. It was still unlogical for him to feel that way for people he just met but that seemed to catch the psychiatric interest as his eyes glowed in curiosity.

"You mean like... You felt you knew them a long time ago and this is not your first time meeting?"

"Absofuckinglutely. Exactly that." Jungkook confirmed and cupped his face together before taking a deep breath. It was clear as the sky that day that he was irritated, thwarted, and drained. Perhaps annoyed by all the situations and things that happened in his life these past few weeks, also frustrated because he is clueless, hence he couldn't find the explanation behind them. Long story short; he was exhausted.

"Hmm... That's really interesting..." NamJoon mumbled as he rested his right hand on the chair handle before holding up his face by attaching his palm to his chin; his eyes never left the younger one. He looked hot, Jungkook thought. But the longer he stared over the psychiatrist, the more aware feelings wavered over him; just like the first time he met Jimin, Hoseok, Yoongi, Bam, and Ddosun. He couldn't help but feel depressed by it, like- why the fuck his guts were telling him that he had known them before?

He's not the type who believes shit like reincarnation or alternate universe but is this it? Does he feel this way because they all know each other from the past life and now they are reincarnated so his soul reacted to it? That sounds funny and extremely bizarre to Jungkook, he scoffed bitterly at his assumption; somehow everything is absurd today.

"Do you mind giving me their names?"

"Huh?" He raised an eyebrow, surprised by the sudden request as he looked over at the male to see if he heard it wrong but was proven his ears were right when NamJoon held the pen and the paperboard higher; ready to take the names. "Well, sure..." Jungkook swallowed his saliva thickly, he didn't have a problem with giving them but somehow the last name was hard... Hard for him to spit that certain name out. It's like his vocal cords died down thus he couldn't produce a voice to speak.

"P-Park Jimin..." He mumbled after a while of forcing himself. And just like someone punched him in the chest, some sort of inexplicable aching started to accumulate inside him hence making Jungkook immediately grunt and rest his palm on his heart; where the pain continued to swell. This pain... Why does it feel so familiar?

Oh right, last night's dream...

Jungkook still couldn't understand why suddenly Jimin entered the picture whilst all this time he didn't, plus; the supposed colonel in his previous dream had not shown his face. But now when he finally saw the specific front, it turned out to be Park Jimin instead of an old man or someone else he doesn't know. But why? Why him? Out of all people... Why does it need to be the older one?

It's funny, funny because despite the fact that Jungkook couldn't remember every inch of the dream; that specific part of the ending still caused him pain. The pain was so real that he almost believed he was facing it in the actual world rather than dreaming about it. But why? Why is he feeling all of this? He hates it.

Screams without voices, cries without tears, darks without lights, and pains without cures; Jungkook had never been more useless in his life.

"Park Jimin...?" Immediately he set his eyes on the older man, unconsciously reacting to the latter name being called out without him noticing it. But NamJoon on the other hand caught the instant response and could only shallow his chuckle slowly as his lips performed a tiny smile. It's been a while since he last heard those two phrases coming out of those rosy thin lips so he couldn't help but feel the warmth spread across his chest, he missed this.

Because he for hell sure knows how much Jungkook used to love that man, beforehand, two years ago, before the accident happened, when he was still a sassy lieutenant.

Not that Jungkook's mouth is any less pain in the ass now though, there's one time when NamJoon bumped into him along with his friends and he heard the younger say something like- "bitch, please... your birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory." He was shocked no doubt, the male really had the audacity and the courage to say something so horrendous without indecisiveness.

But then again, that individuality of Jeon Jungkook is what makes his best friend fall in love.

"... Do you perhaps know him?" The certain honey voice suddenly asked, interrupting NamJoon's thoughts as he fixed his eyes on his patient and processed the query. As if they were waiting for a yes to come out of his mouth, the first thing he noticed was the way Jungkook's doe's eyes glowed in pure faith. A so pure expression that the younger could only be seen as a child from his sight.

Jungkook didn't look beautiful, no he didn't look handsome nor hot either at that time. He simply, verbatim, looked like a forfeited boy who was lost in an enormous dark maze. A boy who was trying, struggling, and waiting to see if there will be a light so that he could return to his home; his safe place. A boy who was left alone in hopes he could survive and be self-reliant.

A once boy he used to be.

Yes, that's all NamJoon could see... A glimpse of a lost boy in a young man. But again, who was he, to tell the truth?

"... no, I don't know anyone named Park Jimin. Can you tell me more about this person?" He finally responded. That's right, it should be this way. It was meant to be this way, nobody could say otherwise. Let it be unknown because at the end of the day, when the moment comes, when fate finally shows Jungkook the completed puzzle, the bigger picture, then it's the time to tell the whole story.

He doesn't know when and how long it will happen but what he knows is that the time is not now. Moreover when it is just the beginning. He just hopes that the younger male will and can accept whatever happened wholeheartedly without blaming himself for it. Because really- it's not completely Jungkook's mistake. It really is NOT.

Except for the fact that it is.

But what can they do? Change it? Nah, nothing could change the past. NamJoon sighed as he dropped his glasses on his table before massaging his forehead which was spinning with all the thinking. Once again, he was awestruck between agreeing and denying that all of this happened because of Jeon Jungkook. If destiny was a person, surely he would already put all the blames on them.

But it was EVIDENT, CLEAR that even blind people could see whose fault it is.

..༺♡༻..

I roused a tiny fire with my hazel eyes staring at the beautiful coral flames, completely in love.

Blinded by the pulchritudinous sight and warmth it gave me, my heart leaned onto it without thinking it would thrive one day and harm me.
I was ludicrous, that is...

But then when the fire was already too big; I realized I made a huge mistake in trusting the heat too much that I ignored how all the things in front of me were ruined by it.

I ran but it was too late, the fire has already caught my legs. And now, it was my turn to get burned; and I could do nothing but suffer the pain...

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[A/N: I'm backk ! I'm here again after a while and I can't explain how much I miss you guyss... I won't leave again this time, pinky promise 😭😭😭💜]

Ps. Bring all your guns and weapons; there's gonna be a big war comin... And the next update will be in a few hours :)

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