This chapter has come out a couple days late! I'm sorry!

BUT Merry Christmas everyone!! 2020 is going to be truly my year, even though 2019 came with many hardships I am going to enter the new year with more optimism than I ever had.

Remington awoke to Ash digging through her bag. He sits up and looks at her a small frown on his face knowing she would leave today. The night before was the last night they'd spend together.

The spot in the bed wasn't empty, Ash noticed Remington woke and sat next to him.

"Go back to sleep, love, you have almost a half hour until you need to get up." Ash says softly.

"I can't, Ash, I could barely fall asleep last night as well." Remington sighs.

Ash puts her arm around his waist, "When did you fall asleep anyway?" She asks.

Remington mumbles his answer his eyes barely able to stay open.

"What was that?" Ash asked softly,

"Around two." Remington sighs.

Ash pulls him closer, her arm wrapping around his waist.

"Just try laying down for a bit, I don't want you being tired when you drive home."

"Ash, I can drive you there too. I just need to get ready." Remington suggests.

"You're tired Rem, I would rather drive myself,"

Remington sighs. Ash stands up throwing her hair up in a messy ponytail. She had on leggings and a T-shirt. There was a knock on the front door, Ash had went into the bathroom so Remington answered the door. It was Emerson and Sebastian, he had no idea they were coming but they came.

"What are you doing?" Remington asks.

"We want to help, Rem, do you expect to be okay when she leaves?" Sebastian asks.

Remington inhales deeply. Emerson glares at Sebastian knowing that Remington would take it the wrong way.

"So you're here because you think I can't handle my emotions?" Remington asks his voice hinting that he was upset, "you're right, I'm not going to be okay but why would I expect to be. I love her and I know being apart will wreck me."

"No, it's not that... We just want to be there for you, we know this is going to be hard, spending months and months away from someone you love. We don't think you can't handle it we just think you should have support." Sebastian sighs trying to correct himself.

Remington shakes his head, he looks down his eyes beginning to water.

"I-I can handle myself," Remington mumbles.

Emerson pulls his older brother into a hug. He didn't know why he did it but he felt like Remington would need it. And he was right, Remington accepts the hug but shows no sign of hugging back. He was focusing on not breaking down right there.

They all knew in the long run Remington wouldn't be the same when she left. Ash knew it too. She was scared to leave but Remington wanted her to follow her dreams and that started in London. Remington knew he had to stay, he and his brothers had their own dreams in LA. And sometimes he wished he hadn't. It felt like when they went on tour again, but when they were on tour he had a distraction and she was home getting and giving constant calls and updates. Now she was going to be on a college campus in art school to study animation. He would be in their empty apartment. Lonely and afraid for months before tour starts again.

When Remington met Ash, she was clueless about what she wanted to do. When she wrote ideas she always ended up doodling. She was always a doodler, from school until now. Ash was friends with all of them so they all saw her constantly. When Emerson noticed how much she doodled and drew he knew it was something she could do. He was one for drawing himself, she saw his art and was mesmerized. He got her a sketchbook for her birthday and that's when it started.

Not long later her and Remington started dating. They all remained friends, Ash was someone they could all agree on. There were some girls they would meet and they just shake their heads at and agree that they're nowhere near being in Remingtons league.

When Ash entered his life they were a bit cautious at first. She looked like all the other girls he was with. Ash is extremely pretty and it almost made them think she would be just another mistake. But they were wrong. Her personality was just as pretty as her.

Emerson never agreed with his previous girlfriends, from high school to the girl before Ash he never made a good decision. He was cheated on, played, hurt. Ash was the only person they trusted not to hurt Remington like they did.  With her out of the country how would Remington cope?

"I'm sorry Em..." Remington mumbles.

"It's alright, just don't do anything stupid, please."

Remington nods knowing what Emerson was hinting at. He looked at Emerson a stray tear slid down his face, Remington closed his eyes wishing for it to go away. For everything to go away.

He was convinced that there was no way he could win the game, no way he could pass this level. Because in this game called life the only way out is death. Whether you win or not is up to the ones above.

Remington sighs seeing Ash leave the bathroom. He breaks from Emerson's grip. His face fell when he saw the time, it was just moments until they left. Emerson and Sebastian agreed to go the night before Remington had no idea about it but she knew they were close and if this really affected him she wanted him to have people there for him. Emerson and Sebastian knew this would be hard for him as well. She meant a lot to him she was the only one he couldn't let go.