KALANI PULLED an entire bottle of hot sauce from her bag like it was completely normal and poured a hearty squeeze into her scrambled eggs. "We should head for Albuquerque today, hang around a couple of days, then I can get you to Arizona. It'll only be a five-hour drive from there."

    Mila reached across the table for Kalani's hot sauce and drizzled it over her own eggs. She wanted to spend a couple days in Albuquerque? Mila forked a pile of eggs into her mouth and chewed. "Is there any way you could get me to Arizona today? I'm in a hurry. Then you could double back to Albuquerque."

    Kalani tilted her head, resting her cheekbone on her curled fist. "Oh, shiiit. You got somethin' goin' on?"

    Mila shoved another forkful of eggs into her mouth. She needed time to come up with a lie. "My cousin's getting married."

    "Oh, shiiiit!" Kalani took a swig of orange juice. "When's the date?"

    "Tomorrow."

    "I'll getcha there, don't worry." Kalani whipped out her phone. "You got an address?"

    Another forkful of eggs to swallow. Another lie to chew up. "Stay on Route 66 and I can point you there. I've been there so many times I know the route. No idea what the address is."

    Kalani made a face at that, barely perceptible. It was a flimsy lie and Mila knew it. "Can you text them and get the name of the place? So we don't get lost."

    "I don't have a phone," Mila blurted without thinking.

    "What!?" Kalani exclaimed. "In this economy?"

    "I did. But it was in my car when it sank."

    Kalani picked at her eggs and slumped down in her seat. "So are you close?"

    "To what?"

    "Your family."

    Mila choked on her sausage link and downed a great deal of apple juice until she could breathe again. She could practically taste her mother's baked goods, see the trace amounts of glitter Cruz left everywhere he went. She could feel Malachi sitting quietly beside her. Even her extended family—she could see her weird magician uncle pulling a coin from her cousin's ear, smell her grandma's stuffy perfume, hear the lilting Spanish of her aunts and uncle in Peru. Yes, she was close to her family. Closer than she'd ever realized before. She missed them terribly. There was a hole in her heart she could never fill again.

    Mila blinked tears from her eyes, praying Kalani hadn't noticed. She downed the rest of her apple juice, giving her enough time that she trusted herself to speak. But it was too late. Kalani had already seen the tears.

    "Touchy subject?" she asked.

    Mila looked down at her own empty plate. "Are you ready to go?" she asked.

    Kalani tucked her legs up under her chin. "You're like a little jackrabbit, aren't ya?"

    Mila sputtered out a laugh. "What?" But Kalani seemed dead serious. Mila covered her mouth, embarrassed.

    "You get anxious when you stay in one place for too long. You do, don't ya? You've always gotta be movin' or you lose your mind."

    Alarm bells screeched in Mila's head. She didn't like this, not one bit. Kalani already seemed to know her. Despite all Mila's efforts to hide her identity, her true self was still so easily deciphered. All Kalani had to do was pay attention. And pay attention she had.

    Mila wanted to be unknowable. She wanted to be someone you saw in passing on the subway or in an airport, someone you wondered about, someone you made stories about. And yet Kalani had uncovered the truth of Camila Ana Santos without even knowing her real name: that she had the body of a girl and the heart of a jackrabbit, her leg always twitching, coyotes nipping at her heel.

    Mila jumped to her feet, her heart thrumming in her chest like the jackrabbit she was. She shoved her seat into the table, turned around, and ran.

    Kalani shoved back her seat and stood up. "Sofía?" she called to Mila's retreating back. "You good?"

    You know that restless feeling you get when you're about to throw up? The sweat that clings to the back of your neck, your heart beating like a hummingbird's wings? Your breath coming in jagged puffs? That inexplicable urge to move, now? If you stop moving, you rationally think, you're going to die. So long as your legs keep pumping and your feet keep moving, you're going to be all right, eventually, someday, you have to be. That same feeling started in Mila's stomach and ballooned down to her fingers and toes. She knew if she stopped moving, she was going to die.

    So Mila ran. She ran out of the breakfast area, into the main lobby. She ran through the front doors and out into the parking lot. She ran out into the arid desert, the sky tantalizingly blue and cloudless above her. The cold stung her cheeks.

    "FUUUUUUUUUCK!" She howled, doubling over in the parking lot. The world swayed beneath her feet.

    "Sofía?" Kalani's voice from behind her caught her off guard. "What's wrong?"

    Mila whipped around to face her, her hair catching in her face. She shoved the loose curls out of her eyes. She still wasn't used to this new blonde self. A part of her wondered if she ever would be. "You don't know me," she panted. "Don't pretend to. You. Never. Will."

    "Sofía, what did I do?"

    "What did you do?" Mila laughed, dry and humorless. "What did you do?"

    Kalani winced and took a step back, throwing her hands up. "Woah. Imma give you a minute." She slowly backed inside, her hands still up.

    Watching her leave, Mila's anger dissipated. All she was left with was that panic and that ever-present restlessness forcing her to run, to never stop running.

    She squatted and held her head in her hands, letting out great, gulping sobs. The air seeped out of her like a floatie with a hole in it. She sat back on her bum and lay on her back in the middle of the parking lot, spreading her arms and legs, shivering.

Once she could no longer stand the cold, she got to her feet. Calmly, she walked inside like nothing had happened. She searched the main lobby and the breakfast area, but couldn't find Kalani. Panic ate at her bloodstream. Had she scared her away?
    She'd been lucky enough her friends back home were patient. Her outbursts never scared them or made them upset. All Malachi would do was worry about her, all Adrian would do was give her space, all Becca would do was bring her hot chocolate. Even Jaime stuck with her through it all. But she'd always felt like she was walking on thin ice. She was terrified she was one (1) outburst away from them cutting all ties and leaving her alone. She'd always felt like her friendships were ticking time bombs.

Maybe this time it actually was.

Finally, she headed to their hotel room to look. She found Kalani sitting on her bed, staring out the window at the endless stretch of road along the dry, barren landscape. Mila heaved a sigh of relief.

"That wasn't cool." Kalani didn't turn to look at her. "Screamin' at me like that for no reason."

Mila tentatively sat on the other side of the bed, her back facing Kalani's. "I know. I'm sorry. Sometimes I just get so..." she fumbled for the right word. "Sometimes I just feel so trapped."

Kalani didn't respond. She flopped backward so her head was by Mila's hips, her legs dangling over the other side of the bed.

Mila mirrored her and tried again to explain it. "It's like... it's like I'm a caged animal. And I have to lash out at anyone who tries to open my cage and then run." It was something primal, instinctual, something not ruled by logic or reason. Something ruled by fear. It was animalistic: a desire to be faster than whatever was chasing her, to outrun whatever predators she might find.

"I accept your apology," Kalani finally said, slowly and deliberately like she was reading lines she'd memorized in a textbook. "I'm sorry if I overstepped a boundary."

Confusion swirled through Mila's chest. She wasn't sure if Kalani's apology was genuine, or something she'd stolen from fake woke Tumblr. Either way, Kalani was her best, safest, and cheapest ride out of Arizona. She needed to stay on her good side.

"It's okay."

"We should get goin' soon," Kalani said. "If we want to get to Arizona today."

***

    THE DESERT WINDS HOWLED outside Kalani's rental Prius as she napped in the passenger seat, the chair pushed all the way back and her legs kicked up on the dash. She'd pulled a flimsy black blanket up around her chin. Mila swore at the wheel. When Kalani started dozing off, she'd finally relented and let Mila drive. But now they had a problem. A big problem.

    Somewhere along the way, Mila'd turned off Route 66. She didn't know how or why, but she had. And she had no idea where she was. Kalani's phone had no signal so she couldn't get directions back to Route 66. And they were running out of gas. Each minute the gauge inched closer to empty.

Mila peered through the windshield. Nothing but red rock stretched for miles around her. Bats flew overhead, occasionally blocking out a tiny shaft of light from the stars or the crescent moon.

"Kalani."

She didn't stir.

"KALANI!"

Nothing.

Mila shook her. She nestled deeper into her blanket, mumbling unintelligibly. Frustrated, Mila slapped her across the face. Her eyes lazily opened. She yawned, stretching her arms above her head.

"Are we there yet?" her voice was low and husky. "If not, I'm goin' back to sleep."

"We're lost. In the middle of the desert."

"Hmmm." Kalani shut her eyes and pulled the blanket back up around her chin. "Gettin' lost is a part of the adventure, man."

Mila's grip on the wheel tightened. She huffed, counting to ten in her head. She couldn't explode on Kalani, not again. Not twice in the same day. Not when she smelled so good and her half-asleep voice was so low and husky. Why did any of that matter?

"Kalani," Mila insisted, fighting to keep her voice calm, "what do I do?"

Kalani didn't bother opening her eyes. "Just keep drivin' straight. We'll get somewhere eventually."

"Your tank's nearly empty. We might die before then."

Kalani sat up bolt-upright, the blanket falling around her lap. She slowly propped the seat back upright. "Why didn't you wake me sooner? I have a spare gallon in the back."

"No, you don't. We used it on the sign, remember?"

"Shit." Kalani rubbed her eyes and squinted at the gas gauge, rubbing her forehead. "Give me my phone. I'll call—"

"We're in the middle of nowhere. You don't have a signal. Do you have AAA?"

"I don't know!" Kalani admitted. "This is a rental. I don't even know where the gas tank is half the time! What do we do?"

The dusty road stretched in front of them, the cracked concrete freckled with sand. Rust-red mesas rose in the background, cutting against the starry night sky. What a beautiful place to die. They would die out here, wouldn't they? The only water they had was what was left in their bottles, the only food a pack of Sour Patch Kids. Everyone who drove by was a threat—more than likely a serial killer. The desert was deadly. They'd walked right into its trap.

Except Mila wasn't going to die. Not tonight, not like this. Not without putting up a fight. She pursed her lips. "I'm walking."

    "What?" Kalani asked. "Where?"

    "Somewhere. Wherever this road takes me. You said it yourself. It has to lead somewhere, right?"

    "At least wait until daylight," Kalani suggested. "The desert's all kinds of creepy after dark."

    Mila shook her head. "I can't wait that long. I can't just sit here and wait for a murderer to come along."

    Kalani pursed her lips, her ankles bouncing on the dashboard. "I don't know..."

    "You don't know? I'm going whether you want me to or not. What other choice do we have? Wait for someone to come along and kill us?"

    Kalani's bouncing legs shook the car. "Take my phone." She grabbed it off the dash and passed it to Mila like it was a precious jewel. "If you get somewhere with a signal, you can call for help."

    Kalani'd be stuck here in her rental car with nothing to do other than sleep or watch for predators. It could take days of walking for Mila to get back to her with a barrel of gas and a map. That was even if Mila sent someone back for her. For all Kalani knew, Mila could run off and never look back. And yet she was giving her her phone.

A lump formed in Mila's throat. She rubbed her thumb over Kalani's phone. Half of her wanted to cry, Kalani was so sweet. The other half wanted to scream at her. What are you doing? Why do you trust me? All I've done is lie to you!

    Kalani was putting a whole lot of trust in Mila—and for what? Mila wasn't sure if the gesture was delusional or sweet, but she was touched by it.

    "What are you giving me this for?" Mila asked, even though Kalani had already told her. She didn't know what else to say.

    "It'll give me peace of mind. You're gonna be wandering the desert by yourself in the middle of the night. You'll be safer with it."

    Mila jumped out of the car before the tears came. She couldn't let Kalani see her cry. She was already too close, too intimate. She already thought she knew her. She grabbed her bags out of the backseat.

    "See ya later," Kalani called. "Good luck out there. And stay safe, okay?"

    "Bye..." Mila hoped she didn't sound like she was about to cry. She slammed the door and sobbed. Choking on her tears, she forced her legs forward on the cracked cement, knowing each second she wasted was a second further from rescue. As she walked, she wiped her eyes. Even in this lonely desert, she was determined for no one to see her cry. She took deep, open-mouthed breaths, trying to even her breathing. She was so focused on stopping the tears that she didn't hear the car door slam or Kalani jog up behind her.

    "Sofía?" Kalani called, but Mila didn't hear her—her pseudonym didn't register in her brain. "You good?" When Mila didn't respond, Kalani reached her side and called her name again—or what she thought was her name. "Sofía? Are you crying?"

    Mila frantically wiped her eyes and swallowed back a sob. She was still getting used to her new name. "No," she cried.

    "Hey, hey, hey, stop." Kalani tenderly grabbed Mila's arms, spinning her around to face her. "It's okay to cry."

    Mila sniffled and buried her face in her hands. She couldn't meet Kalani in the eye. "I'm fine."

    "I won't force you to talk if you don't wanna. But you can talk to me. I'm all ears." Kalani's eyebrows furrowed, her brown eyes glinting with concern in the moonlight.

    Which made Mila want to cry even more. Why wasn't Kalani still in the car? Why had she followed her? "I told you. Everything's fine. Why are you following me?"

    "I'm comin' with you," Kalani cheerfully announced.

    "No, no, no, no." Mila peered through her fingers at Kalani, her vision blurry. "Why?"

    "If I can't stop you, I might as well come with you."

    Mila blubbered into her palms.

    "Sofía?" Kalani asked. "Do you want to tell me why you're cryin'?"

    Because Kalani trusted her, wholeheartedly. Because she was kind to her. Because she'd only known her for what, two days? and yet she'd been so good to her. Because she made her feel things she didn't understand.

    Mila wanted to be close to Kalani—she couldn't explain it. She didn't care how it was, she just wanted to be close to her. She'd never felt like that with anyone before, not even with Adrian. It had to be her cologne.

    But Mila couldn't admit any of that out loud. And even if she did, she didn't know how to put it into words. She shook her head, her hands still glued to her face.

    Kalani nodded. "Let's rock 'n roll." She whipped a purple kazoo out of her back pocket and twittered away. Looking at her playing her stupid little kazoo and doing a stupid little jig, Mila immediately knew what this was, the way she felt about Kalani.

    And it terrified her, liking a girl like this...

    But she didn't know how much longer they'd have together. She didn't know if they'd even make it through the night. She wiped the tears from her eyes. She had to ask. "Can I... can I kiss you?" She'd never kissed a girl before. Never liked a girl like that. It scared her and thrilled her. Mostly, she just wanted to know the way Kalani's lips felt.

    Kalani looked stunned. She froze, then delicately cupped her warm hand around Mila's cheek, eyes half-lidded. Sweat pooled in Mila's palms. She'd known Adrian months before she'd even held his hand. She hadn't even known Kalani for two days.

    An ache bloomed in her chest. Adrian, poor Adrian. Was this cheating? She shook him from her thoughts. She couldn't think about him right now.

    Mila stepped right up beside Kalani, enveloping herself in the musky, earthy smell of her cologne. She tilted her head back to look at her face. She was a lot taller than Mila, taller than Adrian, even. Mila needed to stop thinking about him. Just think about... just think about Kalani, and the desert, and the stars twinkling above you.

    Mila stood on her tiptoes, looping her arms around Kalani's neck. "I've never kissed a girl before," she whispered.

    She'd only ever kissed one person before. One person she missed like there was a gaping hole in her chest. But she silenced the thought and pressed her body against Kalani's, her warmth aching into her bones, a delicious escape from the cold desert air. She was so beautiful, her face so round and so delicate, Mila didn't know what to do with herself.

Kalani smirked and wiped a curl out of Mila's face. "I've kissed lots of girls."

    Mila stood even higher on her tip-toes and kissed Kalani, surprised at how soft her lips were, at how they tasted like honey and lip balm, at the soft moan that escaped from them when Mila bit her lower lip. Kalani threaded her fingers through Mila's hair, slowly moving her hands down her neck and the back of her spine...

    Before Mila had a chance to really enjoy herself, Kalani stepped back, her face red. She turned and walked away from Mila, her eyes turned toward the road.

    "Kalani?" Mila called. She hoped she hadn't overstepped a boundary. "Are you all right?"

    "I have a girlfriend," Kalani mumbled. "Back home. I shouldn't have done that..."

    Mila stepped backward, the distance between them growing tangible. She scrunched up her face and coldly laughed at Kalani's retreating back. "What the fuck is wrong with you? Why would you kiss me when you have a fucking girlfriend?"

    Mila cringed as the words tumbled out of her mouth. She was just as bad. How did she have any right to be mad at her? She was still technically dating Adrian. Why hadn't she had the forethought to break up with him months ago when she decided to do this, before it would have been suspicious? Would she always carry this weight around inside her—this guilt at leaving him in the dust, ghosting him in the most literal sense of the word?

    "I didn't think it meant anything!" Kalani snapped.

    "You didn't think it meant anything?" Mila shot back. "Oh, yeah. Try explaining that to your girlfriend. I'm sure she'd understand."

    "You don't know her. There's no way she'd find out."

    "You don't know me," Mila reminded her. She shivered with rage and self-doubt. Wasn't she just as bad as this girl she spurned? "You have no idea what I'm capable of. I'll fly to Hawai'i. I'll find her. How many gay girls can be in one state? I'm sure, through process of elimination, I can find the poor girl unlucky enough to date you." Mila mockingly held up Kalani's phone. She typed in the passcode she'd given her and searched through her contacts for someone named bae or baby or with a heart emoji at the end of their name. "What's her name...?"

    Kalani looked like Mila had hit her. She made a wild grab for her phone, but Mila danced out of her reach. Kalani might have been bigger, but Mila was much faster. "It didn't mean anything! Sofía, there's something seriously not right in your head. You should go to therapy."

    Rage coursed through Mila's veins, not blood. "And you should go fuck yourself!"

    Kalani shook her head and turned back toward her car. Mila realized she still had a gold-mine of revenge opportunities—Kalani's phone.

    "Kalani!" Mila screeched.

    She turned around and glared at her. "What?"

    "Catch." Mila chucked the phone into the brush off the side of the road.

    Kalani stared at her, open-mouthed, then looked to where she'd tossed her phone. "Why the fuck did you—?"

    "Same reason you kissed me. I didn't think it meant anything."