03 | Sing you to sleep - JJK
Tw: Mentions of death and descriptive injuries
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I watch the steady rise and fall of her chest as the air gets drawn into her lungs in her state of sleep. A peaceful silence engulfs us save for the sounds of our mingling breaths.
My Mika, so strong in the day as she fights off her demons, now looks so vulnerable under the moonlight that shone. Like a baby, so pure and so fragile, born into the cruelty of the world.
She lies in my bed, looking as if she belonged among the still life that surrounded us. Had it not been the movement of her chest, one would have assumed she was dead.
She does not hold me in her slumber. Doesn't seek out for my comfort, even if she deep down knows she craves for it.
The stillness is so comforting that I don't feel myself falling into a slumber. But it feels as if someone pushed me into a comfortable darkness. The kind that I would never be able to escape, but I would never wish to leave either.
Frantic hands that relentlessly tug at my t-shirt yank me up from sleep. The sound of pained ragged breaths being drawn in sends my mind into a state of frenzy.
My hands hastily look through the dark for the remote that controls the air conditioner. And when it finally gets caught, I lower the temperature, sending a rush of cool air through the machine.
Mika's pleading eyes look at me, tears of frustration willing up at the corners. I see the wiggling of her toes, something I've discovered she does because she's afraid all the fear will paralyze her. Will cripple her of her physical abilities.
"Get it off, koo." She whispers helplessly. As if a task as small as getting rid of the blanket from over her body seems like a tedious job.
I free her of the layers, including the pajama shirt that stuck to her upper body like second skin from the sweat. I take her into my arms and pull her onto my lap, holding her in a loose embrace.
One hand goes into her hair, my fingernails lightly scraping at the scalp as a form of stress relief. The other holds her against my chest, right above the heart that beats painfully fast, just for her.
"It burns." She whimpers, her hands extended out towards the side.
My eyes fall on the vicious marks that marred her right arm. Starting from the back of her palm right until her elbow. The day of the incident flashes in my mind as if it had happened only yesterday.
The images of her burnt hand, the smell of her skin being toasted and crumpled from the fire that night fill me up.
I would forever hate Yoongi hyung for what he had done. Did he hate life that much to set a building on fire with himself and his girlfriend inside? Was he so hurt and angry with life to forget he held the very love of his life in the same room?
Did he, for even a second, think about us? His friends who'd been there for him at all walks of life? Me, his stepbrother, who loved him so much even if we never said it out loud?
I don't realize my fingers are roving over the damaged skin until a quiet hiss leaves Mika. The skin isn't supposed to burn anymore. Not when it's already been three years since it took its birth.
It's then I realize her mind is playing games with her. Her conscience is still hazy from the nightmare.
"How about we apply some lotion on it?" I ask her, my voice very low and gentle. I see her eyes blink slow, taking in the words I just muttered. And then she gives me a single nod.
The lotion will be cool on the skin, tricking her mind into thinking it works on the burn.
I lift myself up from our bed with my girl in my arms. Her ankles lock themselves at the base of my spine, holding herself up as we walk towards the bathroom. I set her down on the counter and open the cabinet right next to where she sits.
She lets me stand between her thighs, her legs not once removing themselves from around my torso as I pull out her favorite rose-scented lotion.
"Shall I?" I ask and she nods, giving me her hand. I know it takes her a lot to do that. The insecurities of letting someone take closer looks and touch the skin seemed to have never left her.
I smear the pale pink lotion onto her hand, rubbing it in gently with small circular motions.
I think of the night before Yoongi's death. The then weird conversation we had. He kept asking me to take care of Mika knowing very well that I loved her at the time too.
"You're not going anywhere. Why do you want me to take care of her? It's your job as the boyfriend." I had scoffed at the time. It had felt as if he was trying to rub the fact he was her boyfriend right in my face.
"I won't be here for long." he had simply stated. I was confused. All I remember afterward is overlapping voices, shouting. Me shouting at him. Him muttering 'sorry kookie' over and over again. I demanding to know what he meant.
When the very next night Mika phoned me, I knew something terrible had happened. She sobbed from the other line, pleading with me to save her and Yoongi.
I ran to his house, calling our friends to help me with whatever it was were going to be met with. His house was intact but the thick smoke coming out the window of his room had been really scary. Namjoon had yelled at us to look for fire extinguishers. Anything that would help put out a fire.
When I ran into the room, all I could see was the figure that sat on the chair. Yoongi let the fire engulf him, set him to ashes along with his mother's favorite chair. Mika was petrified, looking at him as if she wanted to save him. But she couldn't move a muscle. Couldn't feel the fire move across towards her arm.
If it hadn't been for Taehyung knocking her over and out of the room, she would've gone down in ashes too. Maybe she had wished for it to take her with Yoongi too.
I had tried so hard to pull Yoongi out of the fire. I did my best. My fate really did have other ideas. He breathed his last in my and Mika's arms.
Endless therapy sessions were all we had after that. Slowly pulling our lives back together after he left us.
Somewhere along the way, Mika started falling for me. I was beyond ecstatic. We moved in together after two years. Though life wasn't the same without him, we knew we would be fine. Because we had each other.
There still are moments she hesitates telling me she loves me. She was worried she was hurting Yoongi every time she said the words. But I know she is trying every day to be better.
"Koo." she calls for me and I hum.
"You know I love you, right?" she looks at me with trembling, pouty lips. It makes it so hard to hold back now.
I pull her in by the back of her neck and kiss her. I let my lips answer the question that words couldn't. Of course I know she does. I see it in her eyes every time they fall on me. See her pupils dilate in her amber eyes.
"I know. I love you too." she smiles the brightest I've ever seen at this.
"Should we go back to sleep, baby?" she nods childishly, making me voice out a chuckle.
"Come on then." I say, before lifting her up once again.
Once we're all settled under the blankets, Mika looks up at me from where she lies over my chest.
"Do you want to wear your shirt back on?" She shakes her head a 'no'.
"What?" I ask her when I see that she's still staring at me.
"Sing me to sleep." I am surprised to hear her say that. She's never asked me to sing before and it makes my heart soar with happiness. All this time she had been secretly enjoying me sing around the house, even though she grumbled I was too noisy.
So I let my voice wash over her senses. Comfort her aching soul to sleep.
Her body loosens over mine, falling deeper and deeper into sleep. My heart synchronises itself to the rhythm of hers.
"I love you. More than you can ever imagine."
1472
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I have gotten over my creative block and finally written something!! Yayy!! It makes me so happy to be able to update again. I'm going to be writing a whole lot more from now on.
This story was filled with angst sbjssbj. I feel like I can write angst better than fluff sometimes. And this chapter was a product of that.
Let me know what you think~
Happy reading(灬º‿º灬)♡
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