The flame ignites the long beige stick, brightening up the twilight of the night. Thick smoke coats the windy air, forming spirals as I blow out a breath. My chest feels heavy, satisfied as I sink to the ground, kneeling, admiring the dazzling stars. 

"Do you want another hit?" I ask, waving the blunt.

Tania nods and hands over her rolled joint. "Why, thank you, cutie pie. I love putting my mouth where yours has been."

I snort. "That feeling isn't mutual. I don't know whose cock you've been sucking."

She gasps and gives my ass a firm kick with her stilettos boots. "You fucking bitch. It isn't my fault that I love giving blowjobs. I just wished more of my clients were dreamy, like Asiel."

The weed surges through my veins, instantly making the world glossier like I'm wearing old contract lenses. "What about... What's his name again? Dragon?"

Tania moans, clenching her thighs at the mention of his name. "Oh, yes, Dragon. He has a thick cock like his father. Not only does he have a thick cock, but he's super sweet. The aftercare after we fuck is like heaven. Have you fucked Asiel yet?"

"Father like son. How dirty of you, Tania." The urge to smile breaks through my barrier, and I'm smiling like an adolescent. "Matter of fact, we did. Last night."

Her eyes widen with amusement. "Stop being so modest. You have fucked wives, husbands, and siblings. Now, tell me everything! How was it? How many times did you come? Which positions?"

Maybe it's the weed, but the stars form the memories of the night before. Images of Asiel's distressed expressions begging for me to fuck him senselessly. God, my pussy is getting soaked just thinking about it. The best part of the whole thing was actually the worst thing. After being fucked like a slut, Asiel pulled me into his arms, and we spent hours giggling about stupid shit.

Then we went another round.

Talked again.

Fucked a third time like horny teenagers, and Asiel kissed my forehead before falling asleep. He's breathing sweet and peaceful, a rhythm I could get used to.

Holding the drag in my chest, I exhale and fill the air with more foggy smoke. "Surprisingly Godlike for a virgin. Definitely over ten times. Cowgirl and doggy. We also tried superman, but he was pretty tired by then."

The joint dips from her fingertips as Tania sports an open-mouth stare. "Holy fucking shit. You did not just take that poor boy's virginity. He's going to be so heartbroken when you leave him. I'm equally terrified and inspired."

"I know," I mutter, trying to force out a laugh to join in Tania's amusement.

"Hey, Mika. Is everything alright?" she asks, sensing something's off. "If he hurt you, I swear to God, I'll cut his balls off in front of everyone. Nobody hurts my girlfriend."

My lips tilt to a half-grin. "No, babes, it isn't anything like that. Besides, you're acting like I am a wimp or something. I can take anyone down with the flick of my fingernail."

She jabs her elbow into my stomach as she clicks her tongue. "Whatever! I just wanted you to know I'll always be at your side. I'll fuck anyone up for you, even if it means breaking an acrylic nail."

"I heard you have a house call tomorrow, Dragon?"

Tania eyes me warily but replies, "Nope. His step-dad. He loves to shove his cock in my ass. Do you think Dragon would be interested in having a threesome with his dad?"

A real genuine laugh burst from my throat. "I don't know Dragon enough to answer that question, but don't run into the same issue I did. Woody and Buzz did not like sharing."

She snorts, hiccuping, as she vibrates from all the giggling. "I can't fucking believe they chose the names from Toy Story."

"Me either."

Tania drops her hand on my shoulder. "I know what you're doing, but I'll let it go. Just don't be afraid to come to me about anything. Nobody understands us better than we do."

I smile. "Thanks. I should be heading in, I'm meetin-."

"Loverboy?" She raises her black eyebrow. "Wow, shocker. Now, get your sexy ass in there. Wait, let me fix your skirt."

Tania scrubs the rock particles from the floor off my high-waisted silt skirt and fixes the triple chain thigh garter. She squeezes the red corset an inch tighter, pushing my tits closer, jerking with my every step. Waving my dainty fingers at Tania, I push the door and walk through the jewelry-hanging drapes.

My heels click against the marble floors as I enter my private room, surprisingly finding the space empty. No Asiel yet. I guess he's running a bit late. After applying a fresh coat of lip gloss, I sink into the mattress and sit criss-cross applesauce. My fingers drum on my thighs as I wait and wait, which is one of my pet peeves.

I.

Hate.

Fucking.

Waiting.

Maybe he wasn't coming tonight.

But then someone else would've won the bid and been fucking me already. Asiel had to bid. Did he get lost on his way to the bathroom or something? Groaning, I reach over for my charging phone, and saw a message from Asiel. It's a photo of him forming a heart with his hand. How cute. How should I reply back? With puckered lips, I decided to take erotic photos to tease Asiel with when he's working.

One of my ass.

One for my second best feature-- my face.

First is obvious, my boobs.

God really took his time sculpting these tits because fuck, I love them.

During my private photoshoot, my attention floats to the open doors, revealing Diablo with loads of items in his arms. He's muttering curses under his breath as a small vintage jar slips to the ground and shatters. Confusion washes over my face. Why is Diablo walking in with a collection of gifts? It's not even my birthday.

"What the hell is all that?" I ask, fixing the top of my corset.

He shrugs. "I don't know."

I scoff. "Then why are you bringing it here?" The skirt sways around my legs as I wander over to items on the counter. "You better clean this broken glass before I hurt my toes. Also, do I not have a client today? It's one."

Diablo gargles an entire carton of milk from my refrigerator before replying, "Asiel won the bidding war. He's supposed to be here."

My eyebrows pull tight. "Where is he? Have you seen him? Give me your cell phone. I need to look at the video cameras."

He searches through my cabinets and grabs the pack of red velvet Oreos. "Sorry, I left my phone in the office. He's bound to show up sometimes. Unless there's trouble in paradise."

"Ha, ha. Very Funny." I mimic a fake laugh. "Now, what is all this shit?"

"I told you I don't know!" Diablo raises his voice, and I'm an inch away from slapping him.

But my gaze lingers on the bouquet of flowers-- red roses like the kind Asiel always gets me. The wrapping paper crinkles against my fingertips, and a card drops out. It reads 'for my beautiful, stunning Mika. I'm so lucky to have you'. My heart hammers as I shift to the white fur coat covered in whiskey.

What a beautiful item ruined.

Squatting, I pick a folded blue piece of paper underneath the rummage of glass. Diablo is flipping through my cabinets, again searching for god knows what. Shatter glass prickles my finger, but I ignore the sensation to open the note. It reads,

"Out of all things, I think your smile is my favorite."

So cheesy.

There's no way in hell, Diablo took the time to think of these creative, cheesy things to write. He doesn't have a romantic bone in his body. Never has. Why is there a sinking sensation in my gut? I don't like this at all.

There's one last item-- a black rectangular box. A faint scribe of a company is on the top, and it's soft to the touch. Extremely expensive. Why would anyone bring this to the club? Being nosy, I flick the box to see a soft pillowy cushion, cradling a silver ring design as a cross. Taking it between my fingers, I find the silver chain it rests on and take a closer look at the inside of the ring. 

'A.M."

The necklace nearly slips from my grip as I connect the puzzle pieces. The plummeting sensation spreads through my veins, like it's being injected from an IV. All of these things belong to Asiel. Where is he? Why is he giving me his ring, and why has he disappeared off the face of this earth?

Rage seeps into my skin like rain as I charge to Diablo and shove him, causing my carton of milk to spill on his Gucci shoes. "What the fuck is your problem? I'm going to clean the mess after I'm done eating."

"Where is Asiel?"

His eyebrows bunch up. "I already told you. I don't know."

My hand cracks against his jaw as I slap him, his nostrils flaring as a result. "Cut the fucking bullshit. This ring means everything to him. He wouldn't leave without it. So, I'll ask again, where the fuck is he?"

"I. Don't. Know." Diablo seethes, adding emphasis by delaying the pace of his words.

My palm whips forward, aiming to give Diablo another slap, before he captures my wrist, his irises gleaming with fury. With all his pent-up anger, he shoves my body into the wall with a -thud-. My head throbs from the brutal shove, my airway closing up as his hand grips my throat. I don't give him the satisfaction of getting the upper hand and crack a sadistic smile.

"Stop. Fucking. Hitting. Me!" he snaps, the fiery flames igniting in his irises like a house filled with gasoline. "I don't know where your stupid boyfriend is, so fuck off. Maybe he's tired of you ever think of that? Why do you even care? I thought Asiel was just a boy toy?"

Giggles escape from my throat like a manic as Diablo tightens his grasp on my throat, abruptly banging my body against the wall. I might've underestimated Diablo's commitment to protecting me. He's failed a million times before, but decides today to be the day to fulfill his promise.

"He is," I force out.

His chest is heaving, his nostrils flaring as he loosens his grip, dropping my feet to the floor. Air rushes into my lungs, giving Diablo the false security of safety until I've pinned against the wall with a knife to his throat.

Diablo's eyes widen in panic. "Alright, I'm sorry for choking you. Can we just talk like two normal adults?"

"Mmm." I cock my head to the side, pretending to contemplate. "Should've thought about that before you tried choking me. Because right now, all I'm thinking is how quiet it will be once I slit your throat."

His breathing accelerates. "But then you won't know what happened to Asiel."

My eyes narrow. "I think I'll manage."

"Mika!" Diablo screams as the blade digs further into his skin. "Okay, Asiel was at the bar in the strip. That's where I found all these gifts."

With puckered lips, I withdraw the knife and walk to the other side of the counter, my heels clicking on the marble floors. "Is that all? Or are you trying to outsmart me by staying quiet? I might consider letting you leave this room with your fingers intact if you tell the truth."

Diablo's gaze floats around the room, refusing to make eye contact with me. "We may or may not have talked by the bar."

I sigh, twirling the handle of the knife on the countertop. "About what?"

He smacks his lips while rubbing his hand on the nape of his neck. "You know what? I don't feel bad. He isn't anything but a boy toy, so it's okay if I exposed you for being a liar. I told him what really happened the night your parents died." He darkly chuckles. "You should've seen him. He's frightened of you, Mika."

Gulping salvia down my dry throat, I whirl the blade like an arrow, missing Diablo purposely by an inch. "I hate you."

The sinking sensation in my chest intensifies, burning a hole in my stomach from Diablo's revelation. It's over. All my hopes, dreams, inspiration, muse are slipping from my fingertips because of my jealous frenemy. Trust is significant in any relationship, even a facade.

Diablo yanks the blade from the wall. "Why, Mika? Asiel, isn't anyone important, so why do you hate me? If anything, I did you a favor. I got the fumbling idiot off your back. Now, we can get our priorities back."

Anger sears through my veins. "You fucking idiot. He's eating out of the palm of my hands. I was one step away from having his empire, and now, I probably lost any chance of that happening. So, thank you." I clap my hands. "Thank you for being such a good friend, Eugene. You always know what's best."

Diablo scoffs, dragging his hand down his chin. "I-I didn't know. You never let me into your plans anymore, Mika. I just want to be of help to you. Instead, you have me cast aside to make room for Asiel."

"I wonder why that is."

"Mika, I have paid enough for my crimes against you," Diablo says, gripping a fistful of his shirt. "Everything isn't so black and white. It was a mistake. One that haunts me day and night. But I helped you get your revenge."

I roll my eyes. "I don't remember. I don't want to remember. I just need to fix things with Asiel before it's too late."

My hands latch onto the rectangular black box, and I grab my sweater to combat the chilly, windy night. Besides the potential of losing my only chance of being the Queen of something, there's another feeling clinging onto the muscle in my chest. It's like sticky goo. No matter how much I try to shake it, the goo never lets go. Why do I feel like I'm actually worried about his pathetic feelings?

Before getting out the door, Diablo grabs onto my forearm and holds me back. "You have another job on Thursday. I'll leave the envelope in your locker. I'm sorry for taking another thing away from you."

"Apology denied."

Yanking my arm from his grip, I sprint to the elevator and tap my jittery fingers on the walls. Would Asiel even want to speak to me? He's probably drenched in a puddle of disappointment, outrage, and sadness. Fuck, my hand is cramping up, and all I want to do is repeatedly slam my head on the steering wheel.

If I come clean, will he be able to forgive me?

Or should I conquer up another lie?

The drive to my apartment is irritably long, and the organ is hammering within my chest. Why is it pounding? I feel like I'm dying. Is this how normal people feel? Why do people wish to feel these emotions when all it does is make me feel like shit? It's like I've no power over how my body reacts to my thoughts of Asiel.

Fuck me.

Lord Savior, let me fix this issue so I can go back to the reported program.

The tires screech against the asphalt as I recklessly pull up to my block. My parking is half-ass, but I didn't have time to waste on fixing it. Asiel's car is nowhere to be seen, but it was stupid of me to think he would be here.

He doesn't want anything to do with me.

I'm going to have to put my neck out on the line for once, and I don't know how I feel about it. People chase me. I've never needed to chase after anyone, but I guess Asiel is a lot of my firsts.

Once bypassing the pin pad on my gate, my feet shuffle on the cobblestone ground as I climb up my stairs. Thunder cracks in the air as the sky darkens, the stars disappearing in the ray of clouds. With my attention on the blurry moon, I almost don't feel my foot scraping another surface.

He's slouching against the exterior, his feet sprawl wide on the floor as he dribbles a ball back and forth. His white-collar shirt is untucked from inside his trousers, and his tie is crooked. Bottles of beer rest at his feet. Tears are stuck on his eyelashes, and he sniffles, wiping his nose with his sleeve. His irises are devoid of emotions until they land on me-- becoming a blooming confusing mess.

"Asiel," I mutter, taking a step closer. "Why didn't you show up for our session?"

He shrugs. "I didn't feel like it."

My feet kick the empty bottles. "You ditched me to get drunk. Was it worth it? Do you feel better?"

Asiel shakes his head. "N-No." His face crumbles into a look of torment as it drops to his knees, his shoulders trembling as sobs croaks from his throat.

I sink to my knees, gently placing my hand on his shoulder, but he shoves it away. "Asiel, what are you doing here? Why are you getting drunk on my porch? Get mad at me. Yell at me."

"Diablo explained everything, huh?" A miserable chuckle leaves his lips as his head hangs low, his arms resting on his knees. "I want to be mad at you, Mika. I want to fucking hate you and walk out without looking back. But I can't."

An uncertain frown pulls down my mouth. "Why? Just get up and leave. We both know that's where this is heading, anyway. You deserve better, Asiel. Way better than anything I can give you."

My pulse is racing for some reason as I jerk to my legs and grip my keys tightly enough to make marks as I frustratedly shove them in the hole. Another ray of thunder cracks as droplets of water land on my bare shoulders, dripping down my back. That's how all thunderstorms start. Raindrops pitter-patting the windows, floors, and walls as the winds amplify, swaying my skirt backward.

Asiel grabs onto my arms, causing the keys to fall to the ground. "You have no right to be angry. I'm the one being played like a fiddle. Yet, I'm here willing to hear you out because I want to believe you had a good reason for lying to me. So, are you going to speak up or walk away?"

I fucking hate Diablo.

My conscious is a messy blob of jello. The situation has been ripped from my controlling hand and flipped on its head. I don't want to talk about the truth. It's laughable. Pointless. Once the story leaves my lips, there's no way this relationship would go any longer. Sometimes, I can't even look at myself.

But then I remember they fucking deserved it.

I hope they're burning in hell with all my enemies.

I yank my arm from his grip. "I don't feel like being interrogated over something so stupid."

"You can't be serious." He laughs, running a hand through his damp hair. "Are you kidding me, Mika? I've been far more patient and loving. I should have been an asshole. Then maybe you would care about my feelings. Lying isn't stupid. It's disrespectful. How do I know I can trust you?"

My hands clench at my sides into angry, tired fists. "You are the one that always said to open up whenever I'm ready. Now, I don't have a say in what I want to keep private. This relationship is between the two of us. Why are you letting outside forces intervene?"

He fires back, "I wouldn't have if he didn't have a compelling argument. It's really difficult to look past the stone-cold truth. Are you going to tell me anything? Or am I just wasting my time?"

I shrug. "What's the point? Eugene told you everything."

His eyebrows shoot up. "Eugene?"

My mind is murky, dizzy with the vigor of this conversation. I accidentally let Diablo's real name slip out. "I meant Diablo."

Asiel growls in frustration. "See, this is what I'm talking about. You don't trust me enough to share a single thing about yourself. I don't know anything about your childhood, your relationship with Diablo, or how you came to be in Diablo's Paraiso. We've been kidding ourselves. This isn't a relationship."

"Fine!" I snap back and throw his rectangular-shaped box with a purity ring in it. "You're free to leave! No one is holding you back!"

The rainstorm is turning into a swamp beneath my feet. Asiel picks up the box from the forming puddle and opens it, bobbing his head with his tongue poking his cheek. Goosebumps emerge on my skin, matching the droplets landing on every inch of my body. The rain made Asiel's hair floppy, always getting in his eye.

My muscle slowly begins to freeze as Asiel turns on his heel, walking down the stairs and leaving.

Forever.

But my mouth got the best of me.

"Maybe I didn't want to tell you because I'm afraid of everything changing between us. I'm not this guardian angel you conceived in your head. I've darkness inside me."

My voice collapses, sounding helpless. "You want to know the truth. Fine. I killed my father in cold blood because he was a piece of shit. He abused me, tortured me. I took all his shit for years! Years, Asiel! Fuck, I hate him so much. I stabbed him and stabbed him and stabbed him until my body was coated in his blood."

My face grows warmer by my confession. "I watched his soul leave his body and felt a sense of achievement. The worst part is I don't regret it. I never once did. Nothing brought me any more joy than seeing his dead corpse. I'm free. Is that what you want to hear? How easy it was for me to murder my family?"

My heart thumps, thumps, and thumps.

His expressions darken as he rushes over from the staircase and grabs onto my face, stroking circles with his thumb on my cheek. "Can't you see insane you make me? I don't care what you did, because those fuckers probably deserved it. What hurts is that you felt the need to lie to me. It's me, Mika. Nothing can change my thoughts about you, Mika. Nothing. How many times do I have to say it? I just wanted the truth. That's it."

I shake my head. "How can you stand the sight of me after hearing what I've done?"

Asiel connects our foreheads, rain dripping onto our faces, and he murmurs, "I meant it when I said I'm all yours, Mika Santana. Nothing can change the way I view you because I'm so far gone." He takes a deep breath. "Mika, I lo-."

My hands subconsciously jump up, covering his lips. "Don't say it."

Asiel gently drags my hands down, revealing the smile on his plump lips. "Let me say it, Mika. Please. I don't care if you can't say it back. I want to say it."

My stomach sinks with dread. "Don't say it."

Saying it makes it real, and it can't be real.

It can't be.

For your sake and mine.

"Please let me say the truth," Asiel pleads, guiding my face to meet his.

"Don't say it..." I whisper hopelessly, weakly, and tiredly, dragging my fingers down his lips, silently pleading with my gaze.

He draws the necklace out from the box and drapes it over my neck, closing the seal around my neck. My organ is beating like crazy in my chest as I see the purity ring glistening on my skin. Like an out-of-body experience, Asiel pulls me into his chest, hugging me securely as he lays his head on mine.

"I've fallen in love with you."

My breath catches.

"I love you, Mika."

A thousand pounds of rock collapses on my chest as I'm being crushed to death.

That stupid fucking organ.

My heart is swelling up with guilt.

This is all I ever wanted. He's mine. I can do anything to him, but why doesn't it feel the same? Why am I experiencing guilt? Is it the rain or are my eyes getting teary? I'm suddenly grateful for the rain, because he will never see the tears falling down my cheeks to the abyss of my empty soul.

We are back with an emotional chapter!!!! Yay 😊😊! Guys, a warning all these chapters coming out this week is going to flip everything upside down! Like I don't think you're ready but I'm so excited to read everyone's reaction to what I'm going to reveal next 😉😉!

I freaking love Mika and Asiel so much! Like the way he wanted to be mad at her, but he couldn't. I'm not sure if that makes him but I find it sweet 🥺 is it just me? Like he's so far gone!!!! And Mika...

Poor Mika... doesn't even understand anything anymore and that's the worst part 🥺. Do you think she's going to reveal her true intentions? Or she's going to keep up the act? Is it really an act though 👀? Would you guys want her to tell Asiel?

Thank you guys for reading and I hoped I made you a little emotional because I like making my readers cry in the best way possible !

Love ya! 💜❤️💜

Thank you for all the support