" Murad, what's the suppose of that war with Russia now? Why do you go there?" I asked him as we were sitting on his terrace looking at the sky night in Istanbul.

" They declared war to us. I have nothing but to go into war." Murad said and drank a sip of wine that was in his cup, and it annoyed me a lot.

" Will you stop drinking wine? That's why you don't feel good, because you drink it too much." I said to him trying to take the cup from his hand, but he didn't allow me.

" I drink it because it makes me forget about all the pain." Murad said and continued to drink the wine.

" What kind of pain?" I asked him worriedly.

" Every morning my stomach hurts me a lot, so much that I can barely walk alone without a walking stick. Then I drink my medicine which doesn't work enough to me, but when I drink wine all my pain stops." Murad said and turned to look at my eyes.

" Why haven't you tell me this before? I would do whatever is important to find best doctors to help you." I said to him sadly as I didn't even know about it.

" I didn't want to make you sad, my love. I feel even worser when I look at you being sad. I will be fine until I look at you smile at me and hug me. That's where I feel the safest next to you." Murad said and kissed my cheeks.

" I don't want anything bad to happen to you, Murad. We will find best doctors which will help you to get better." I said to him sadly.

" They don't think that I will get better. They can only keep it at this level of pain. It can't decrease, it can only increase." Murad said to me and took me closer into a hug.

" You prohibited people from drinking alcohol and now you are the one who is doing it. It maybe helps you for moments to forget about the pain, but it is only making worser to your body." I said as I was really worried for my husband. I couldn’t lose him now.

Murad didn't answer a word to me, he just remained silent and kept playing with my curly hair for a long time.

" Give me that wine." I said to him and putted my hand in front of him.

" No, Mihrişah. Don't." Murad said to me as he didn't want to give it to me.

" If you love me Murad you will stop to drink this wine." I said to him and still had my hand in front of him.

He looked at me and looked at the wine then. It took him few minutes, and then he passed me his cup of wine. I got up and threw it.

" I don't want to see you drinking it ever again. If you want to prohibit something to people, why do you do it then Murad? If someone besides me knows about this, and this goes to the people, they will think what kind of ruler they have." I said to him as I didn't want more troubles in Empire.

Murad stood up and walked towards me. He putted his hands on my cheeks and looked me deeply inside my eyes.

" I never thought I would meet a woman who would I love this much as I love you. I never knew this kind of love even exists, when I would give whatever I need in this world just to make my loved one happy." Murad said and kissed my forehead.

" I love you Murad so much, I wish if you didn't go to the war. I am afraid what will happen there. You can send your army, but you and children should stay here on the safe." I took his hands into mines, but he just sighed and looked at another way.

" I must go. There is no one who can lead the army better than their real leader, Sultan. I will go there and our sons will and hopefully we will return here with a victory." Murad said and smiled to me, making me sure I can't do anything to change his mind.

Preparations for the war with Russia started already. My sons started getting ready to go into a war soon. Army was preparing to go, and they were happy they will finally gain their war experience, as they haven't been in a war for a long time.

" Sultana, Şehzade Mehmed is not fine. He is sick." Haci-aga ran into my chambers to inform me and I immediatley quit with each job I had to see how is my Mehmed.

I came inside his chambers and I saw him laying down on his beed and looking like he isn't really good.

" Nurse, what is with Mehmed? Is he fine?" I asked the nurse which was standing next to him.

" Sultana, Şehzade Mehmed is sick. He has really high body temperature and he is coughing. He needs to relax for several weeks how he could be better. He probably won't be able to go to a war." nurse said and looked at the floor anxiously.

" Mehmed, are you fine?" I asked him.

I putted my hands on his forehead and I saw he has a normal temperature so I knew he has some his secret plan.

I just signalised to everyone to leave the chambers leaving me alone with Mehmed, as I was suspicious of him.

" You could have told me that you want to go to a war not scaring me like this and faking your sickness." I said to him seriously. I couldn’t believe he made a whole story just to stay in Istanbul.

" Valide, I needed to make it realistic. I don't want to go to a war. I want to stay here." Mehmed said as he sat on his bed and I saw he is totally fine.

" Why don't you want to go to a war?" I asked him. Of course I wanted for all my children to stay in Istanbul, but I didn't know why he wouldn't want to go.

" Because you know alone father is not in good condition. What if something happens to him there? What if something happens to my brother? I need to he here so Ottoman Dynasty could have safe heir to the throne." Mehmed said to me proudly and I couldn't believe what is my son talking about.

" If it is in your fate, you will ascend to the throne one day. Don't forget that you and your brothers should have equal chance to do it. I won't allow you to stay here just because you want to be the first prince who will sit down on the throne." I said to him seriously. I never thought my Mehmed would be like this.

" Valide, so you don't want to see me at the throne?" Mehmed asked me as he raised his eyebrows to look at me suspiciously.

" Of course I would like to see you on the throne one day, son. You are all my children and as your mother I want only best for you, but I won't allow you to do this just because you want the throne. If you want it, you will go with them and see there what happens." I said to him coldly.

" Valide, please, I want to stay in Istanbul. I don't want to go to war. Please Valide. Don't tell father the reason, please lie that I am sick." Mehmed asked me in sad tone when I got up from his bed and turned my back to him.

I looked at him again and I could not imagine my son would be power hungry like this. He wouldn't do everything for our Empire like his father and brothers would, but he only thinks about his accession to the throne.

" You will talk with your father about that alone, Mehmed. If you think you are grown up enough yet to do it and to run away from your duties, then you are also capable to tell it to him." I said to him and smiled. I knew I shouldn't mix because that would make things only worser.

" Valide why you don't want to help your son in this?" Mehmed asked me sadly.

" Because if you already work in Sanjak against your father's will and I mix into this, he will think I am protecting you from him." I said to him calmly.

" But you are my mother of course you will protect me." Mehmed looked at me sadly.

" I protect you always my Mehmed. You don't have idea how many things you have done in Sanjak your father doesn't even know because I recieve letters from your Sanjaks first. Your tutor Lala informed me about everything. You can't do anything without me knowing." I said to him.

" V... Valide? What do you know?" Mehmed asked me anxiously and afraid.

" I know that one woman went to lawyer to tell what you are doing in your Sanjak. I know for everything. You don't do what your father told you. You do what you think it's the best but you actually do what you shouldn't." I said to him and stopped for a second.

" I know you had a relationship with free woman and that she is pregnant with your child and that you wanted to take her to your Harem, but fortunatley Lala intervented and didn't allow you to do that." I said to him.

" Valide... I..." Mehmed started to say something but I stopped him.

" We made sure that woman is living far from you and that child will have whatever it needs. I did whatever is needed that she keeps her mouth silent, because if she would tell this to someone you would be punished." I said to him.

" Valide I am so sorry..." Mehmed started explaining to me, but he had no strength. He knew I had known everything.

" I know you legally married Gulnuş even though it is forbidden to Prince to marry. That's why I had to talk with her also." I said to him.

" Valide, thank you for not letting father know about it." Mehmed came in front of me and kissed my hand.

" And you shouldn't think I don't protect you. I protected you more than anyone in my life. There are plenty of things more I know. If your father would hear about any of these, you would be punished." I said to him trying to learn him lesson.

" But father wouldn't kill me. Would he?" Mehemd asked me worriedly.

" Your father killed his own mother and brothers, do you think he would be sorry for his son?" I asked him.