" Murad. They made a trap for me. Kemankes said you have a lover and he went to show me her. He showed me a woman named Leyla and her two children. What could have I known?" I said to Murad as we were in his chambers and I couldn't stop myself from crying. I loved him so much and this was Kosem's fault who tried to separate us.

" So you dont believe me and you believed him I have a lover? You don't have a trust in me, Mihrişah." Murad said to me and each of his words killed me in my heart.

" Murad, when I heard that my heart broke into million of pieces. I couldn’t handle that so I had to go and see." I said to him as I couldn't stop my tears.

" That doesn't change a thing you wanted to make a political alliance with Kemankes. You wanted to put Selim on the throne while I am still alive?" Murad yelled on me.

" I never wanted to do something like that. I don't want any political alliance. Only thing I want is you to lead long." I said to him as I couldn't stop crying.

" Why would Kemankes lie to me? He has nothing of that. He is my right hand together with Silahtar. What kind of trap are you talking?" Murad couldn't stop yelling on me.

Man who I loved the most again was hurting me the most. He didnt believe me, but he believed his servants.

" Why do you believe Kemankes more than you believe me? I am your wife and mother of your children and you still don't believe me? You make me feel so hurt because of this." I said to him as I couldn't yell anymore.

" Because Kemankeş' story makes more sense than yours. Why don't you believe me when I am your husband and father of your children? Why do you believe someone else that I have a lover?" Murad came closer to me and looked at me deeply in my eyes.

But in his eyes I couldn't see love anymore, only thing I saw was anger and nothing else.

" Because you are Sultan of the whole world and I know you can have any woman you want. You have whole Harem and whole world for yourself so how couldn't I be afraid that you have some else? I wish not to be jealous but that is only because I love you and only a imagine of you touching or kissing another woman makes me wanna die." I said to him and I couldn't help myself but continue crying.

" Mihrişah, you are pregnant. Stop crying, you know this won't make good for the baby." he said and this time he sounded a bit less angry. He sounded like he cares.

" If you care about that then you will stop acting like this towards me. You are the one who makes me cry because you dont believe me." I said to him.

" I won't forgive you for what I heard. The fact that you want Selim on the throne is inappropriate and you will be banished to the Old Palace. " Murad said coldly to me like he had zero emotions towards me left.

"  How can you do that and separate me from my sons? How could you do that?" I asked him in distrust. Did he have zero feelings for that?

" Don't interrupt me while I am speaking!" he yelled on me so loudly.

" You will give birth in Old Palace. You will continue to live here. Your sons will be well raised in the Palace. And in Old Palace you will learn lesson for what you have done." Murad said to me so insensitive.

" You are so insensitive. What happened to you? You always were telling me how you love me and that no one can separate us, but now you believe Kemankes rather than me." I said to him as I was shocked of his behaviour.

" Leave my chambers and pack your things." Murad said and went to sit on his throne.

" Fine, but I hope you know that you have bigger enemies who want your brother Ibrahim on the throne. I was only one who was here with you. Now you will stay alone." I said to him and left his chambers without even looking at him.

I went to my chambers and started packing my things. Lalezar, Nastya and Haci helped me with all of that.

I saw my son Selim is slowly walking towards me, he started growing up and he could walk for few seconds alone, before he would fell again.

" Valide, where are you going?" Selim asked me and I took him in my hands.

" I am going to another Palace, I won’t be here for some time. But I promise you, my love, I will return and I will be here with you." I said and I kissed his cheeks.

" I want to go with you, mommy, I don't want to stay alone. I am afraid." Selim said and started crying.

My heart was broken seeing my child crying. He will stay alone here only because his father doesnt believe his mother.

" You will be fine my lion. I will always think of you, and I promise you we will see soon." I said and hugged him thightly.

I walked to my twins Suleyman and Mehmed which were sleeping and kissed both of them. For the last time I smelled my children to remember their scents.

I came to Ismihan Kaya which was also sleeping and kissed her cheeks for the last time. Even though she wasnt my real child, I loved her the same way as my sons.

" Lalezar, Nastya, Haci. I hope you will take care of them while I am not here. Take care of them as a pupil in your eye." I said to them sadly.

" Sultana, we will take care of them. And we will do whatever is important for you to return really soon." Haci said to me and I saw he is also sad because of that.

For the last time I looked at my children and then left Topkapi. And who knows if I will ever return?