"I've got a migraine and my pain will range from up, down, and side ways." 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sollux Captor sighed and pushed his glasses up, rubbing his eyes. He had just spent the past two days sitting in his office chair, without getting up, and finishing up yet another one of his projects. A chatting site to be exact. He used to use a different site to communicate with his friends but that site was much too slow for his liking. He was just a click of a button away to finishing...

A ding from his husktop informed him that he had recieved a new message from a friend from that horrendous chatting application. He sighed in frustration and switched tabs.

♑ BEGAN CHATTING WITH ♊

♑: heeeey man. motherfuck's up? ya all up an got that new more wicked site up an runnin' yet or nah?
♊: ii wa2 about two get iit up and runniing untiil 2OMEONE deciided two me22age me. 
♑: aw shit man sorry to motherfucking interrupt. just excited as shit to get my wicked chat on with them new motherfuckers out there. bet your site'll be a gazillion times better than this one.

♊: of cour2e iit'll be. now ju2t leave me the fuck alone 2o ii could get thii2 2hiit done already. 
♑: haha you got it bro. :o) talk to a motherfucker later.

♑ STOPPED CHATTING WITH ♊

Sollux rolled his eyes and switched back to his previous tab. Honestly, this old site was complete shit compared to Sollux's new one. This one used the signs of trolls as user names, what were they supposed to call each other with that? Hello 'N' with a squiggly line attatched. No, that was bullshit, and Sollux wasn't one to bullshit.

The Gemini troll triumphantly clicked the enter button on his keyboard and thus, Trollian was created. 

The site became very popular very fast. Trolls of all areas of Alternia were using this new chatting site, putting the previous one out of business. Sollux took great pride in the creation of Trollian, it was his biggest work yet, and most popular. His previous projects being codes he couldn't really do much with those, or show those off. He could send one to any given troll that got on his nerves and give their husktop a virus but that was pretty much it.

Two months since trollian was created and Sollux had a total of ten friends on his friendlist, their trolltags all written in their blood colours creating a rainbow. Sollux sighed, his yellow coloured trolltag was the only one bright enough to show he was online. He was bored out of his mind and no one was online to drag him out of his lull. 

Ding.

Sollux's head shot up so fast his bi-coloured glasses nearly flew off his face. Gamzee had messaged him.

terminallyCapricious[TC] began trolling twinArmageddons[TA]

TC: HeY ThErE My yElLoW BlOoDeD Bro :o)
TA: hey TC. 2tiill u2iing that a2iiniine typiing 2tyle ii 2ee.
TC: HaHa yOu kNoW It.
TC: LiStEn bRoThEr, cAn yA Do a MoThErFuCkEr a FavOr?
TA: depend2
TC: Ya sEe i GoT Me a BeSt fRiEnD WhO's a BiT LoNeSoMe, yA MiNd cHatTiNg hIm uP A bIt?

TA: 2eriiou2ly?

TA: you want ME of all troll2 two try two be friiend2 wiith a troll ii don't even know.

TA: TC ii don't know iif you remember but ii'm not exactly the mo2t 2ociiable troll on alterniia.

TA: get CC or GA two do it. hell why not get AT or CT two do iit?

TC: NaHhH

TC: JuSt tRuSt a MoThErFuCkEr oN ThIs. yOu aNd mY MiRaClE BlOoDeD BrOtHeR WiLl gEt aLoNg mIrAcuLoUsLy :o)

TA: jegu2 diick

TA: fiine.

TA: what'2 hii2 trollhandle?

TC: carcinoGeneticist :o)

TA: why'2 the fuckiing name iin grey?

TA: what'2 hii2 blood color?

TC: FuCk iF I kNoW MaN

TA: you don't know the dude'2 blood color.

TC: NoPe

TA: jegu2 DIICK

TA: you know you can be a real iidiiot 2ometiime2?

TA: ii mean, what kind of a troll hiide2 theiir blood color? thii2 could be a p2ycho troll lookiing for hii2 next viictiim.

TC: NaHhH, He'S ToO DaMn pReCiOuS To bE No pSyChO.

TA: whatever

twinArmageddons[TA] ceased pestering terminallyCapricious[TC]

The Gemini troll sighed in exasperation, Gamzee was great and all but sometimes he was just too dense headed. While typing in the previously given troll tag, Sollux attempted to come up with something, anything, to say to this new troll. The user name appeared on the screen and Sollux clicked on it.

Shit. 

He still had no idea what he was going to tell this new guy, he probably should've asked Gamzee for some information on this troll. Sollux silently cursed himself but began typing anyway, praying to every horrorterror out there that he wouldn't fuck this up.

twinArmageddons[TA] began trolling carcinoGeneticist[CG]

TA: 2up
TA: my friiend kiind of referred me two you and 2hiit.

TA: pretty 2ure you know him

TA: purple blood, type2 liike a fuckiing dumba22?

CG: yeah, Gamzee.

TA: what?

CG: Gamzee, that's his name. Didn't you know that?

TA: no, he never really got around two telliing me hi2 name.

CG: not surprising, things tend to get away from him nowadays ever since he became an idiot and began ingesting sopor slime.

TA: ju2t when ii thought he couldn't get 2tupiider.
CG: He isn't that stupid, he's just making some really stupid decisions due to life at his hive.
TA: alriight alriight 

TA: ii'm not goiing two get iintwo an arguement over TC'2 iintelliigence

TA: e2peciially not when he 2peciifiically 2ent me two become your friiend or 2ome 2hiit.
CG: He did that?
TA: hii2 iin2tructiion2 were very vague
CG: amazing, now my best friend is off finding friends for me

CG: crabdad is going to flip his shit

CG: speaking of crabdad and shit,  he just came back with a lot of it.

CG: i'll be right back I guess

Perfect. Now Sollux could quickly message Gamzee and get some information on this grey-texted troll that he should've gotten beforehand.

twinArmageddons[TA] began trolling terminallyCapricious[TC]

TA: TC
TA: jegu2 diick
TA: are you out on that fuckiing beach again
TA: the 2ea dweller2 are gonna waltz riight up one of the2e day2 and fuckiing cull you

TA: fuckiing hell TC
TA: GAMZEE
TC: HaHa
TC: HeY BrO
TC: SoRrY, GoT MySeLf a BiT DiStRaCtEd lOoKiNg aT ThEsE WiCkEd wAvEs
TA: that'2 all you're goiing two say

TA: nothiing about me knowiing your name
TC: NaH MaN.
TC: KaRbRo aLl uP An tOlD Me tHaT He lEt mY NaMe sLiP Up. 

TC: It'S AlL GoOd tHoUgH :o)
TA: karbro

TA: can ii have hii2 name wiithout the niickname part ma2hed iin wiith iit?

TC: HoLd uP
TC: My bRo iS A pReTtY SeCrEtIvE TroLl. i DoN't tHiNk hE'lL ApPrEcIaTe iT If i Go aRoUnD AnD GiVe oUt tHaT ShIt.
TC: It'S BeSt iF YoU AsK HiM InStEaD.
TA: 2iigh

TA: fiine.

TA: could you at lea2t tell me 2ome 2hiit about hiim
TA: ii don't want two be an awkward priick the entiire tiime.

TC: AiGhT

TC: FoR OnE He'S PrEtTy sHy 

TC: AlWaYs sEeMs pArAnOiD. LiKe sOmEoNe'S GoNnA CuLl hIm aT AnY sEcOnD

TC: He rEaLlY LiKeS ThEm rOmAnTiC CoMeDy tYpE MoViEs aNd bOoKs

TC: He'S KiNd oF InTo cOdInG

TA: that'2 all ii need
TA: thank2 man

TC: No pRoBlEm mAn :o)

twinArmageddons[TA] ceased trolling terminallyCapricious[TC]

Sollux leaned back in his chair and sighed loudly. At least now he had something to talk about with this guy. The gold-blooded troll stood up and stretched, joints popping as he did. He wanted a soda but he also wanted to sit there by his computer. Sollux rubbed his eyes and pushed his glasses up on his forehead, his red and blue psionics crackling loudly. He concentrated, his gaze completely on the purple thermal hull unit in his nutritionblock. The handle glowed with blue and red before the door opened up.

The next moment a can of the most popular Alternian soda was floating over to him with a cloud of red and blue electricity around it. He opened it up and took a sip before sitting back down and continuing his previous conversation with this grey-texted troll.

CG: finally got the literal shit out of the fucking carpet.
TA: your lu2u2 2ound2 amaziing

TA: all miine doe2 ii2 2tay chaiined up on the roof of my communal hiive 2y2tem and 2cream.
TA: endle22 2creamiing
TA: my up2taiir2 neiighbor2 complaiined about hiim but iit'2 not liike ii can do 2hiit

TA: he 2cream2 iif he want2 two.
CG: pffft, holy shit. you think your screeching lusus is bad?

CG: crabdad screeches like there's no fucking tomorrow

CG: it's gotten to the point where i start to screech back

CG: it's like some fucked up language

TA: ii'd love two 2peak a language that'2 pure 2creeche2

CG: no you really don't
CG: i lost my voice so many damn times it isn't even funny.
TA: ii could iimagiine 2o
TA: TC tell2 me you're iintwo codiing?
CG: yeah kind of

CG: I don't exactly have time to code
CG: my lusus doesn't exactly allow me this shit either

CG: he flipped his shit when he found out that i started talking to strangers online
CG even more so when found out that Gamzee is my friend

TA: why exactly?

CG: long uniteresting story
TA: alriight. moviing on. what kiind of code2 do you do?

CG: just the beginners ~ATH ones.

CG: i never have enough time to get past them.
TA: 2uck2 for you.

TA: maybe one of the2e day2 you 2hould 2end me one of your code2 and ii'll 2end you one of miine.
CG: what kind of codes do you do?

TA: advanced ~ATH
CG: you're just trying to show off aren't you
TA: eheheh damn. you know me, what? a few miinute2 and you already fiigured me out.

CG: it's a special trait of mine
TA: amaziing. ii wii2h ii had a traiit two fiigure out the ab2olute wor2t iin people.
CG: it's the best thing in the world really
TA: can't waiit two 2ee how you u2e thii2 agaiin2t me
TA: 2hiit

TA: ii gotta go feed bicyclops dad

TA: ii'll talk two you tomorrow
TA: uh

TA: fuck man what'2 your name?
CG: uh
CG: just
CG: call me
CG: CG i guess

CG: even though that's retarded as shit
TA: nah, iit'2 okay.
TA: 2ee you later CG
CG: yeah, bye TA.

twinArmageddons[TA] ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist[CG]

Sollux logged off of Trollian and shut off his husktop. This new guy wasn't too bad.

He wasn't too bad at all.