Thoughts

She says

"I am over him."

But that's a lie.

She tried to forget him, she really did.

But she couldn't.

It was impossible for her to forget his smile, his beautiful eyes, how he used to talk to her, how he always wanted to protect her.

She had to confess that he still owned her heart.

But this wouldn't be the only confession we would hear tonight.

He was glad that he broke up with her, he really was.

She was so different from him and way much too complicated.

Yes, a part of him really enjoyed a life without her.

But if he was really honest (or drunk) he had to confess that a part of him missed her. And this part grew steadily.

Maybe it was a mistake to leave her.

Maybe he should return to her.

He always tried to ignore this thoughts. And yes, he hated himself for hurting her. But he couldn't help it.

He wasn't as secure as he pretended to be. In fact, actually he was very weak and doubtful.

Every night he missed her more and he played with the thought what he would do now. Playing with thoughts is a dangerous thing, especially at night, when it's dark outside.

So dark that it's hard to remember the sunny days.

If she knew that, she would have fought for him.

All what she wanted was to call him but she was too insecure. If he didn't want her back, it would have been senseless to contact him first. What she wanted the least was to bother him, so she kept quiet.

But he wished too that she would call or text or show any sign of life.

Because he was too scared to do the first step.

He wasn't brave enough, as always he just ran away.

So they layed in their beds, both in their own, missing each other with their phones in their hands, reading old chats, but too afraid to text first.

She didn't knew about his confession.

And why?

Because he didn't tell her.

She says

"I am over him."

And then she has to turn away because she doesn't want anybody to see her tears.