It's hard to explain what goes on in my head. It's as if one minute everything is fine but then suddenly everything is all wrong and I don't know what to do. He makes me feel better, as cliche as that sounds. He's usually just a couple of text messages away from making my day. He's all that capacitates my mind, infiltrating every single corner. I try to pretend that he doesn't matter to me, that if he suddenly disappeared and never talked to me again I would be okay, but I honestly don't know how that would make me feel.
Sometimes I can't stand him. His presence irritates me and I can't get far enough away. He makes everything worse with his bitter words, leaving a sour taste in my mouth. He's not healthy, yet I can't seem to let him go. He's all it takes for a smile to appear on my face, but he also makes me doubt everything I've ever known.
I can't trust him, that's the problem. He's sporadic; he's  not always around when I desperately need him to be. He's not worth the constant emptiness, yet every time I call it quits, I always seem to find myself coming back for more. He makes me indecisive, and that's one of the things I can't stand about him. Does the bad outweigh the good? I honestly don't know anymore.
C.V.