MY WORDS RANG OUT in the half-empty living room. There were few items in the entire house, most likely because Spencer decided to take something from here to his apartment, as many things suited his style. When I said big words a few minutes ago, I should have stopped talking about furniture.

Spencer appeared surprised. He immediately moved out of my arms and sat down so he could watch me without looking me in the eyes. I should not have spoken such harsh words after he served me all of his trauma on a platter. "It's fine, Spence; you don't have to say anything, let's pretend I didn't say, ". I expressed my concern when I saw his sad reaction to my confession, I felt strange as well. It's clearly not the right time.

"The words had just left my mouth; it wasn't the right time... you told me everything, and I felt desperate; I wanted you to know I'm here with you and that we're not just a couple having sex like rabbits during mating season", my pulse quickens, and my body temperature falls. As the struggle for breath intensifies, I can feel my lungs contract significantly.

"Ally, please breathe properly," he says, looking worriedly at me and the way I'm struggling to catch my breath. He has his hands on my shoulders, trying to calm me down. I'm not usually this emotional, and these panic attacks are rare. I felt as if a piece of myself died today, which made me very sad.

"My love, you're almost there with normalizing your breathing; can you feel the air filling your lungs to the brim? That's how it should always be; don't be concerned with half-breathing; I'm here and I'm not going anywhere." his words appeared to be very sweet. Now I know why I put the word on L.

I truly believed this because of these things and because of the way he looks after me and solves my problems with me.

"I'm sorry if my story was too much for you; I just wanted to show you the ugly side of life. People frequently believe that I live a perfect life, free of problems; it's just that they never get to the part where my shell cracks and all the screams of the past escape." , as he says this, he holds me in his arms. His voice returns to normal as our hearts beat in unison. I feel his warm lips on my forehead and he kisses me repeatedly, with long pauses between kisses.

He made me feel loved.

We both used the remaining half hour before departure to clear our heads after such an intimate or rather emotional moment. It was just a burden in my mind that came with heavy overtinking, at least that's what it meant to Spencer. He is not the only one who has sad stories, harsh truths, or experiences that compelled him to change.

I had them as well, but mine couldn't compete with his. I'm thankful for that because I lack the mental fortitude to battle all of the demons around me. He made ends meet and got through everything on his own terms. That makes me so proud of him.

"Do you want to hear my brutal truth?" I asked him during the packing process, as we had to get a lot of things out of the car in a short amount of time. We miscalculated the forecast, so we had to change our clothes once more.

"Did you know that just because I did it doesn't mean you have to talk about your traumas?" he asked, still concerned, which made me want to cry again. "I want to tell you because I haven't told anyone about my past in the last couple of years," I explain a little more politely.

"I turned into an ear, Ally, tell me, I will always be there to listen to you," he turned completely to me for a moment, put everything he was holding in his hands in a bag, and sat back on the corner sofa.

"This sounds like a cliche, and I always get angry when someone says it in an argument or with the intent of insulting me, but I have issues with my father. When I was two weeks old, my biological father abandoned my mother, older brother, and me. He decided that the family does not fulfill him, and so he left us, leaving behind all of his things" , I made pause when the anger in me begins to build up, it's not time for me to be furious and scream with rage because of him.

" Mom cared for me and Owen for about two and a half years before meeting a Marine named Louis. One of the first memories I have is waiting on the front porch for him to return home from duty. He loved me as if I were his own child, and he loved us both as if we were his children. He also had the opportunity to have his biological child with my mother, and I now have a younger brother named Liam...",  before continuing the story, I sigh deeply. Spencer looks at me intently at one point, as if he's trying to imagine everything I'm saying.

"My stepfather is an excellent parent, and after the baby was born, he continued to lavish us with attention; however, my mother lost interest in me and Owen. More specifically for me, I had the impression during my adolescence that she blamed me for my father's departure, despite the fact that he left as soon as I was born. Owen was aware that she and him had fought frequently during her pregnancy, and that he had repeatedly threatened to leave her and be alone with me. I needed my mother at that age because I had entered puberty, and Louis told me and taught me more than she did ", my vision blurs significantly, and tears well up in my eyes, which I manage to brush away before they fall down my cheeks.

"After finishing high school, I looked as far as I could for a place that provides a better education at a reasonable cost. I ran away from the house, Spencer, and she didn't even notice I was gone because she was too preoccupied with her youngest son. Only Owen and Louis were concerned about me; they even opened a bank account for me and sent me rent money every month because they knew I was out there alone in the unknown," I cynically laugh at my own thoughts.

"I also appear to have issues with my mother too ; I try not to think about them too much, but I can imagine how it would have affected my psyche if I hadn't gone through it so long ago. I'm a messed-up girl who ran away from home when I was 18 years old. Well, I've made it all these years.", Spencer opened his mouth to say something but quickly shut it down.

"First, I was in Macon, and the first train I took got me there." I worked as a waitress for a small salary and found a roommate who only paid for electricity and water because he, too, was a stranger in this town. We became closer than we should have, got into a relationship, and did strange things. We smoked weed, drank alcohol, and most importantly, we didn't love each other that much. I thought no one would hurt me more than my own father until I met Ashton, but I was wrong. ", I feel the same weight in my chest again, and a panic attack ensues, which ends when I slap myself on the cheek. Spencer jumped at the opportunity.

"On the 27th of October, Ashton Will Brown repeatedly raised his hand on me. That stupid asshole thought I stole 50 bucks from him that he had set aside for drugs; he was so high he didn't realize he had spent the money on drugs he had in himself. I was so embarrassed because someone raised hand on me.", Spencer's expression changes with every second.

"I wanted to kill him, he was sleeping on the couch, and I was holding a kitchen knife in my hand...", i can't tell what he thinks about what I'm saying right now.

"I was prepared to swing my hand, and I did so. I stood exactly two inches from his heart, threw the knife on the floor, and stuffed everything I could into my travel bag. I took the train to Quantico and worked for a while until I could provide a more suitable apartment ", I am currently disgusted with myself for what I was contemplating. I recall thinking to myself at the time that if I did that, Louis would be very sad. For me, seeing him again was more important.

I looked at Spencer with a hint of shame, and when it became too much for me, I looked away. I coughed before rising from the corner sofa and retrieving my travel bag.

"My enrollment in the academy is just a reason to get the authority to arrest such men because no woman deserves to have someone shake her in such a way," this answer completes the question of why I chose to do such a job. I was surprised by myself because I had kept these things hidden for a long time and had forgotten that this is the most honest answer to such questions.

"We have to go, we'll be late for our reservation," I said as I walked to the door. Spencer chased after me with his belongings, even locking the house in a split second to get to me.

"I admire you, Ally, you had so many reasons to plunge that knife into his scabby heart, but you didn't. If I ever met him, I'd chase him until he surrendered and then make him pay; I'd sleep a lot better after that "

We both had our moon's dark side.

"That's a problem I'd solve then, except it's not worth life in prison," I say. "Can we then ride the rest of the way in silence and have our vacation pass without any strange situations?" I asked. This wasn't supposed to be a vacation, even though it was technically just getting to know each other.

***

The drive was extremely quiet, and even with the radio on, the tone was almost imperceptible. Spencer was gracious in honoring my request for silence. After all of this, I realized a while ago that I had a connection with him from our first meeting. It was as if we both knew we were more damaged than we could repair each other. The age gap never bothered us; we both learned to put ourselves in the other's shoes and make decisions accordingly.

Our entire relationship was built on sexual attraction, but it was rooted in much deeper issues than we could have imagined. He didn't judge me after those words; in fact, if I wanted to kill my abuser, he said he would gladly take the opportunity for him to do so himself.

Although I refused to speak to him after my little performance, I knew exactly what he was trying to say with those looks.
I also recognized the look that piqued my interest. A look of love and sincerity.

And I didn't think it was strange because he didn't say those words aloud; his fear kept him from doing so. He'd probably do it to anyone if the person he once loved died right in front of his eyes. I was afraid to say those words because Ashton murdered me that day.

"I promised not to talk, but seeing you so thoughtful makes me feel bad. Ally, I don't want you to think anything negative right now; I know it's difficult, and I was the one who was put through a lot of trouble half an hour ago.",  when I hear his voice again, I smile slightly.

"You're amazing strong, and that's what you told me, you're strong, I'm proud of you baby." I had the distinct impression that I had heard it before. I'm drowning in my thoughts, but I can hear other people's voices, and it's nice to hear one I recognize.

"I'm so sorry I didn't respond to your lovely words a while ago. You mean so much to me, Ally West, don't ever leave me," he says, taking his gaze off the road for a few seconds to rest his hand on my thigh. I nod my head in agreement.

"Your gaze was technically returned, and it was nice to feel it returned," I place my hand over his and gently squeeze it. His touch is appealing to me. He appeals to me.
We came to a halt in front of some cottages that were neatly lined up along the entire street. Almost all of them were built similarly, but each had a unique yard and a parked car in front of it. We weren't far from Las Vegas, about an hour and a half away, in my estimation.

I was impressed with the neighborhood; even though it was created for tourism purposes, it appeared to be a pleasant place to live. There was plenty of greenery in the area and the crowds were kept to a minimum. "I wanted to show you the town I grew up in that wasn't all about gambling and Vegas nightlife," Spencer says hesitantly as he pulls our luggage from the trunk.

"Aside from that, I've already told you that we can't go to the casino together; I don't think it's an ideal romantic weekend for a couple in love. We'll mostly sleep here while going on tours during the day; there are several museums that aren't too scientific, but are fun. and intriguing ". When an elderly woman carrying keys approaches us, he stops talking.

"Married couple Reid?" he asked, smiling. I choked at first, but there's probably a reason he registered us as a married couple.
We return her smile as she unlocks the door in front of us.

"I'm handing you the keys, and while I have a spare, I'm not going in during your stay. When you leave, put the key in a pot to see which one is a forgery. Have a good time, ", she handed me the keys and quickly left our house. It's a little strange, but it's just an old innocent granny doing her job.

"A married couple, huh?" I ask, leaning to my left side, hands on my hips. "We got a honeymoon deal," he says as he scoops me into his arms.
He brushes his nose against mine several times until our noses warm from the icy shock of this room. The air conditioner was turned on, which we had not anticipated.

"I want to kiss you until my lips are numb," he said as he pressed his lips against mine. The kiss lasts a long time because it is so intense and full of feelings, but it is also so gentle for fear of breaking. My face is cupped in his hands, and my hands are wrapped around the back of his head; the gentle and sincere kisses continue for a few minutes longer, until we both reluctantly pull away from each other, gasping for air.

We are lying on the double bed, staring at the ceiling and the fan, which is now at its slowest speed.

As we touch each other in this way without any physical urges, our fingers become intertwined. The only problem now is that I'm getting stomach cramps and a sharp pain in my lower abdomen. I try to ignore the pain; it comes once a month and lasts two days, and then everything becomes amusing. That will be the case again this time.

"I love you too, Ally," his words cut through me like another dull pain in my ovaries. Something will always ruin a good time.

I stare at him with a sour expression on my face, my smile a desecrated painful smile. Spencer is madly in love with me. I adore him as well.

"Did you know that sex during menstruation has been shown to prevent cramps and works better than pain medication for some women? Some women are afraid that sex will cause them to bleed a lot more, but sex is a way to get a little more fluid out in a short period of time, not an increase in the amount of bleeding as they believe." , old Spencer returned.

"Are you trying to tell me something?" As I watched him blush, I raised an amusing brow. "I just wanted to help you with your pain, I... sometimes I just talk a lot," I hate interrupting him, but I take advantage of the chance to kiss him again.

Doctor Reid was, in the end, completely right.