Warning: this book is not plot based, and Shahnawaz is going to suffer a lot coz he deserves it🙂‍↔️

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"Tum ek siyasatdaan ke bete ho, aur us maamuli ladki ke jazbaat mein phans rahe ho?" Shahnawaz muttered under his breath, his jaw tightening as he leaned closer to the mirror. "Tumhe apne maqsad ke liye ladna hai, apne gharane ki izzat aur siyasat ke liye, na ke apne dil ke liye."

He turned away from the mirror, running a hand through his perfectly styled hair, frustration etched on his face. Mehrunisa had managed to infiltrate his thoughts in a way no one ever had. Her defiance, her unwavering resolve, her fiery eyes- everything about her unsettled him.

"Par yeh kamzori mujhe le doobegi, Mehrunissa Shahnawaz mujhe barbaad kardegi" he thought, pacing the room.

The sound of his phone buzzing snapped him out of his spiraling thoughts. It was Amal. He hesitated before answering, knowing she’d want to discuss wedding arrangements or her future plans- things he no longer had the patience for.

“Hello?” he said, forcing composure into his voice.

“Shahnawaz, tum theek ho? Mujhe lag raha hai tum pehle jaise nahi rahe,” Amal’s voice was soft, but laced with suspicion.

“Main theek hoon,” he replied curtly. “I am busy, I will call you back.”

As he ended the call, his gaze wandered back to the mirror. For a brief moment, he saw himself not as a powerful politician’s son, but as a man torn between his duty and a woman who challenged everything he stood for.

But then he straightened his shoulders, his expression hardening. "Yeh dilfaraibi khatam karni hogi. Mehrunisa ko ya toh jhukna hoga, ya... hamesha ke liye mitt jana hoga."

___

The tension was felt the moment Shahnawaz and Mehrunisa stepped into the grand wedding hall. The air was thick with the scent of fresh flowers and the hum of conversation, but Shahnawaz’s sharp gaze cut through it all, landing on the man standing near the stage- Rafay.

The cousin Mehrunisa had once been engaged to.

Shahnawaz’s jaw tightened as he watched Rafay greet Mehrunisa with a warm smile, his eyes lingering on her just a moment too long. Mehrunisa returned the greeting politely, her composure calm, though she could feel Shahnawaz’s simmering anger radiating beside her.

"Tumhe dekh kar kitna khush horaha hai,” Shahnawaz muttered under his breath, his voice low but sharp enough for Mehrunisa to catch.

She turned to him, her expression cool. “Woh mera cousin hai. Shadi se pehle ki baat hai.”

Shahnawaz’s eyes narrowed, his lips curling into a bitter smirk. “Tumhe lagta hai mujhe tumhare maazi se koi fark padta hai? Tum galat ho, Mehrunisa. Lekin yeh baat yaad rakhna, ab tum meri biwi ho. Tumhare har rishte ki hadd main decide karunga.”

Mehrunisa raised an eyebrow, unimpressed. “Aur tumhe lagta hai ke tum mujhe control kar sakte ho? Tumhare bas ki baat nahi hai, Shahnawaz.”

Before he could respond, Rafay approached them, his expression cordial but his eyes wary as he addressed Shahnawaz. “Shahnawaz bhai, shukriya ke aap is shaadi mein shamil hue.”

Shahnawaz forced a smile, though his grip on the glass in his hand tightened. “Zaroorat thi aane ki. Mehrunisa ka rishta hai yahan, aur ab toh main bhi is khandan ka hissa hoon.”

The subtle emphasis on "ab" wasn’t lost on Rafay or Mehrunisa. Rafay nodded politely but couldn’t hide the flicker of discomfort in his expression.

As the evening progressed, Shahnawaz’s irritation grew. He watched as Mehrunisa moved through the room with grace, her laughter ringing out as she spoke to her cousins and family. Rafay seemed to gravitate toward her, his gaze soft, his attention undivided.

Shahnawaz’s blood boiled. Every smile Rafay directed at Mehrunisa felt like a challenge, and every time she smiled back, it felt like betrayal.

When Rafay leaned closer to adjust the flower garland on Mehrunisa’s shoulder, Shahnawaz snapped. He strode across the room, his presence commanding, and placed a possessive hand on Mehrunisa’s back.

“Kya ho raha hai yahan?” he asked, his tone deceptively casual but laced with a threat.

Mehrunisa looked up at him, her eyes narrowing. “Kuch nahi. Rafay bas madad kar raha tha.”

“Madad ki zarurat hai, toh mujhe batao,” Shahnawaz replied, his gaze fixed on Rafay, who took a step back, sensing the tension.

The rest of the evening was a silent tug-of-war. Shahnawaz stuck close to Mehrunisa, his every gesture screaming ownership, while Mehrunisa maintained her poise, refusing to let his jealousy rattle her.

Later, when they were walking back to the car, the storm finally broke.

“Tumhe maza aata hai, na?” Shahnawaz accused, his voice sharp as he slammed the door shut. “Mujhe provoke karne mei.”

Mehrunisa crossed her arms, meeting his anger head-on. “Tumhari galatfahmi hai, Shahnawaz.Waise bhi mera bhai mujhse cheen chuka hai tum logon ki wajeh se... tumhare liye mai apne rishtedaron se bhi door nahi ho sakti. ”

His eyes burned with frustration. “Tumhe samajhna hoga, Mehrunisa. Tum ab meri ho. Aur yeh baat koi bhoolne ki himmat na kare- tum bhi nahi.”

She stepped closer, her voice steady but laced with defiance. “Aur tumhe yeh samajhna hoga, Shahnawaz, ke main tumhari milkiyat nahi hoon.”

Shahnawaz didn’t respond, his chest heaving as he tried to rein in his anger. But deep down, he knew she was right. She wasn’t his to control, and that knowledge only made his jealousy burn brighter.

She entered the car, he got in beside her and started driving.

The drive was silent, but the air was thick with tension. The sound of the engine roaring through the narrow, deserted road filled the space between them. Shahnawaz gripped the steering wheel, his jaw tight, his eyes fixed on the road ahead. Mehrunisa sat beside him, her arms crossed, her face pale.

She finally broke the silence, her voice trembling. "Shahnawaz, gaadi dheere chalao."

He didn’t respond, his foot pressing harder on the accelerator. The speedometer climbed, and the scenery outside blurred into darkness.

Mehrunisa’s voice rose, panic setting in. "Tum sun rahe ho? Dheere chalao! Tumhe kya ho gaya hai?"

Shahnawaz’s grip on the wheel tightened, his knuckles white. "Tumhe farq padta hai? Mujhe laga tumhare liye bas tumhara maqsad zaruri hai- mujhe neecha dikhana."

Mehrunisa’s eyes filled with tears as she reached for his arm. "Shahnawaz, please! Agar tumhein mujhse koi problem hai, toh seedhe baat karo. Yeh kya kar rahe ho?"

She yelled, her voice breaking. "Shahnawaz gadi dheere chalao gaadi ke saamne koi aagya toh... tumhe bhi kisi ka khoon karna hai? Tumhare bhai ki tarah kisi aur ka khoon apne haathon par lena hai?"

He finally spoke, his voice low and sharp. "Tumne toh already faisla suna diya hai na? Ke main bhi apne bhai ki tarah hoon- ek qatil."

Mehru fiddled with the locks, "Agar tumne gaadi roki nahi toh mai kud jaongi."

Shahnawaz heard a click and he abruptly slammed on the brakes, the car screeching to a halt on the empty road. The silence that followed was deafening.

Mehrunisa turned to him, her face streaked with tears. Her voice was a whisper now, trembling with emotion. "Tumhara maqsad pura ho gaya, Shahnawaz. Saman Shah election jeet gaye, tumhari reputation bach gayi. Mere bhai ko maar diya, aur tumhari dunya ab bhi chal rahi hai."

Shahnawaz turned to her slowly, his face unreadable. But his eyes- those sharp, calculating eyes- were filled with something she hadn’t seen before: guilt. He was playing again... she could tell.

She let out a bitter laugh through her tears, her voice raw. "Mujhe batao, Shahnawaz. Mere bhai se pehle kitne log the jinhe tumhare gharwaalon ne chup karaya hai? Kitne log hain jo tum logon k siasat ki qurbani ban gaye?"

Her words were like knives, cutting him deep, but he said nothing. Instead, he reached out to touch her shoulder, to comfort her.

She recoiled, backing up against the door. "Mujhse door raho."

Her voice broke again as she sobbed. "Tum mere saath yeh shadi kar ke jeet gaye, Shahnawaz...  maqsad pura hogya tumhara phir bhi ye pyaar ka natak kyun khel rahey ho. "

Shahnawaz turned away, his chest tight, as if her words had drained all the air from his lungs. He couldn’t meet her eyes anymore- those accusing eyes that made him feel like every sin of his family, every decision he had ever made, was laid bare before her.

After a long silence, he finally spoke, his voice barely audible. "Mehrunissa kya hua hai? Dukh horaha hai, woh ab tumhara nahi raha?"

"Dukh... matlab bhi samajh aata hai use lafz ka", she laughed without humour.  "You don't understand pain because you have never lost anyone. Dukh dekhey nahi hai, bas dusron ko dukh diye hai tumne!" Her words were like a slap, each syllable fueled by pure loathing.

He blinked, the words sinking in, but his expression never wavered. "Tumhe lagta hai ke main tumhare dukh ko samajhta nahi?" he asked, his voice eerily calm, though the intensity in his eyes betrayed the storm raging inside him. He took a step closer, his movements measured, controlled, but there was a faint tremor in his hand, the only sign of vulnerability.

The tension between them hung in the air like a thick fog, neither of them willing to move. Mehrunisa's breath came in shallow bursts as she stared at him, her hands still trembling with rage, her mind clouded with a storm of emotions she couldn't control. Her gaze flickered to the dashboard, and for a brief moment, her eyes locked onto something metallic- a gun, lying there innocently.

Without thinking, her hand shot out, grabbing it, and she pointed it directly at his head. The cold steel of the gun against the heat of his skin sent a shiver down his spine, but he didn't flinch. His eyes were still locked on hers, no fear in them, just a quiet understanding of what had just happened.

"Maardu kya tumhe?" she whispered, her voice trembling with a mix of anger and desperation. "You brother would know what it's like to lose a loved one."

Shahnawaz sat there, unmoving, his chest rising and falling with steady breaths. His eyes darkened, but he didn’t react. He only said one thing, his voice low and strangely soft: "Maar sakti ho toh maardo, Mehrunisa."

There was a moment of silence, as if the world itself held its breath. The tension crackled between them, but instead of pulling the trigger, Mehrunisa’s hand trembled more, and the gun lowered slightly. She was on the verge of breaking, her emotions spilling out in waves, her chest tightening with each breath, as the words she had been holding back started to spill out, barely a whisper at first.

"I hate you," she muttered, as if testing the truth of it. The words were weak, uncertain, but they were all she had left to express the chaos inside her.

Shahnawaz didn’t speak. He didn’t argue. He simply sat there, his gaze never leaving hers, his chest tight as he silently absorbed the torrent of emotion. His hand reached out, hesitantly at first, and cupped her cheek, brushing away a tear that had slipped down her face. His touch was gentle, but there was something in it- something tender and raw, something he hadn’t allowed himself to feel in years.

Mehrunisa’s breath hitched, and her lips parted, trying to speak, to scream out the hate she felt for him. But the words choked in her throat. Her eyes closed, as if by some instinct, trying to block out the tenderness that was slowly eroding her anger.

"I hate you..." she said again, but this time it was quieter, more broken. The words were no longer just directed at him, but at herself. At everything she had become, everything she had allowed him to make her feel. I hate you.

Shahnawaz watched her, the rawness of her emotion pulling at something deep inside him. His thumb gently traced the line of her jaw, his touch almost reverent, as if he were handling something fragile. He had always seen her as a force of nature- strong, proud, defiant- but in that moment, he saw her as something else. Something more vulnerable. He could feel the weight of her words, and they struck him harder than any bullet ever could.

He didn’t speak. He didn’t need to. His actions spoke louder than words ever could. He reached up, his hand trembling ever so slightly, and touched her lips, his fingers silencing her, as if trying to stop the hate from consuming her. "Don’t..." he whispered softly, though the word was as much for himself as it was for her.

Slowly, almost reverently, he unclipped her seatbelt, his fingers brushing over her skin, sending a shiver through her. His hands moved with purpose, but there was tenderness in them, as if he were afraid of breaking her further. His touch was everywhere- on her neck, on her shoulders, the hollow of her throat. It was a touch that seemed to say so much more than anything he had ever spoken.

When he kissed her eyes, it was as if he were trying to erase the pain from them, the tears she had shed, the grief that had built up between them. He kissed her cheeks next, his lips lingering, tasting the salt of her sorrow. His heart ached for her...

Mehrunisa’s breath caught, her body trembling under his touch. Every kiss, every caress, was like a thread pulling her closer to the very thing she had been fighting. No. She wanted to push him away, to fight, but it was impossible. The war inside her was too much, and she couldn’t resist. Not anymore.

His lips moved to her forehead, a soft, lingering kiss that seemed to hold all the unspoken things between them. She closed her eyes, allowing herself to feel it, even if she hated herself for it.

He looked like the man who had made her dream of a happy life.

"Shahnawaz..." she whispered, but this time it was different. It was softer, almost like a question, like an invitation to surrender. Why?

His hand cupped her face again, his thumb brushing over her cheekbone. He stared at her for a long moment, his eyes dark with something she couldn’t understand- something that hurt, something that burned in the very marrow of his bones.

"Because for me, Mehrunisa," he said softly, his voice breaking the silence between them, "living with you... was when I started loving myself."

Her eyes fluttered open, confusion and pain swirling in them. "But..." she started to protest, but the words died on her lips as he kissed her again- this time, deeper, harder, as if trying to pour everything he had into her, everything he had never said, everything they had never shared.

Living with him, was when she started hating herself. Did that mean she hated him?

Mehrunissa's eyes opened as she struggled to maintain the kiss, it was too raw...

Do you know what's the cruelest way to bring down an enemy?

The kiss was desperate, frantic-an urgent clash of lips that seemed to defy all reason. Her hands gripped his collar, pulling him closer as if the very act of kissing him could burn away the pain, the guilt, and the anger that had built up over time. The taste of salt from her tears mingled with the heat of their breath, creating a sensation that felt almost punishing. She kissed him as though her life depended on it, pouring everything she had left into that single, burning moment.

Shahnawaz's hands found her back, drawing her into him with an intensity that matched hers. He responded with equal fervor, his lips pressing against hers with a possessive force that seemed to speak volumes-of regret, of longing, of the silent words they never spoke. His thumb brushed over her jaw, and it was as if he was trying to capture her in the kiss, to hold her in a place where nothing else existed

“Is to make them love you.”

Shahnawaz suddenly grabbed the back of her head, his thin lips covering hers completely, he licked, nibbled and kissed those lips, until she was out of breath.

His tongue slightly parted as he whispered her name, "Mehru..." looking so vulnerable that she almost felt guilty. 

His eyes met hers as he tenderly kissed her cheeks again, "I love your eyes... "

His tongue lightly pressed against her teeth, prying it open. As he his thick tongue invaded her mouth.

His one hand held her waist, his fingers caressing her delicate skin.

Their eyes met when his hands softly reached upwards, from her waist to her breasts. As he kneaded them, kissing her passionately... while shaping and molding them.

He was intoxicated, completely under her spell. As she played him... like he had played her.

As their lips crashed together, the intensity of the kiss shattered everything between them, tearing down the walls they had both so carefully built.

Shahnawaz’s hands gripped her arms, pulling her closer, as if to claim her, but there was something in her that resisted, something that burned with hate even as her body betrayed her. His lips were demanding, urgent, his breath ragged as he kissed her harder, deeper, with a fervor that bordered on desperation. He felt the sharpness in her response, the way her hands tugged at his shirt, her fingers digging into his skin- she wanted to push him away, to break free, but something held her captive. Her eyes, wide with fury, flashed open as they kissed, and in them he saw it- everything she couldn’t say, the raw hatred that burned like a fire.

He could feel it in the tension of her body, the way her chest rose and fell rapidly against his, and yet there was a strange, contradictory softness to the way she kissed him back. Her lips, trembling at first, soon became more assertive, matching the urgency of his touch, pulling him deeper into her. His hand slid down her back, pressing her into him, feeling every curve of her body, but even as he did, he could see it- her eyes, glaring at him, filled with disdain and anger, but something else too, something he couldn’t name. Something he could feel.

Her breath was uneven against his lips, her body tense, but still she didn’t pull away. Instead, she kissed him with all the fury of a woman torn between desire and loathing. Each movement, each press of her lips against his, was like a battle- an unwilling surrender wrapped in hatred. Shahnawaz felt the storm raging inside her, felt her struggle against him, against the desire that she couldn’t control.

But he didn’t stop. He couldn’t. His hands slid up to her face, cupping her jaw, his thumb brushing over her cheek as if trying to calm her, but he saw it- her eyes, so full of defiance, burning with a fire that matched his own. The hate was there, unmistakable, but in her eyes, he saw something else- a vulnerability, a rawness, that made him hesitate for just a fraction of a second.

But then she kissed him back harder, deeper, as if to drown out everything she felt, everything she thought, even herself. Her hands were now tangled in his hair, pulling him closer, and as their bodies pressed together, the tension between them crackled with an electric charge. Her hate still lingered, still burned in her eyes, but in this moment, in the heat of their kiss, everything else disappeared.

Shahnawaz Shah

I’ll become your obsession. And then, I’ll disappear forever.

You’ll scream into a void, but no sound will answer. You’ll be lost in the silence of unrequited love.

I’ll torment you like this. Forever.