CHAPTER TWENTY FIVE
IF ONLY

"Cool."

Jacob's eyes narrowed at Embry. "Cool?" He repeated snarkily. "Is that all you have to say?"

"Jake," Montana warned, placing her hand on his bicep.

The simple touch alone was enough to halt his racing thoughts. Jacob's attention fell on the nimble fingers that were lightly grazing against his skin. The hairs on his arm began to rise.

"And this definitely hasn't happened before?" Sam questioned, speaking up for the very first time since Montana had told them what happened.

Jacob exhaled heavily through his nose in irritation, pressing his back against the counter. Montana, very carefully, tightened her grip on his arm.

Sam began to move around the table, eyebrows drawn together in a frown as he continued. "Nothing like it?"

Montana shook her head. "No. It came out of nowhere."

The room fell silent again.

Earlier, the boys had been sat around the table, in fairly high spirits as they snacked on muffins, until a very nervous Montana had arrived with Jacob. Embry had sensed that something was wrong the moment they stepped foot inside Emily's home, and it wasn't long before that same feeling had dawned on the rest of the pack.

Jacob was practically acting as her personal bodyguard, and hadn't left her side once since walking into the house. He was worried about how the rest of the pack would take the information, and whether they'd feel as if her unknown powers could be a threat to them. Even if they did, there would be nothing they could do about it, since she was Jacob's imprint, and he would move mountains to make sure that she wasn't harmed. But either way, he was still going to remain cautious.

"Have you been able to do it since?" Jared asked Montana curiously. Kim stood behind his chair, her hands placed comfortingly on his shoulders. One of his hands rested atop of hers, his thumb rubbing gentle and comforting circles against her skin.

Montana shook her head again. "No. I don't even know how I did it in the first place."

"How were you feeling?" Sam asked, coming to a stop in the middle of the room. "When you did it?"

Montana looked up at him unsurely, trying to think back to the wild display of varying emotions she was feeling at the time.

"I was...upset..." she settled on. "I'd only just found out about what happened to Harry. And then when we got to Bella's, Alice Cullen was there." The boys notably stiffened at the mention of the undead. "I guess I was pissed off seeing another vampire. And then Bella was leaving with her. We tried to stop them, and Alice put her hands on Jake and I just...it was– it was like all of my control suddenly vanished. I shoved her...and it just happened."

"So it's like an anger thing?" Paul suggested, glancing around the pack to gage their individual reactions. Maybe he wasn't the only hot head around.

"Or a protective thing," Embry added on, his eyes cautiously falling on Jacob. Nobody had to be in wolf form to be reading Embry's thoughts about the imprint bond.

"Ok, so, does this, like, only happen against vampires?" Jared spoke up once the room had fallen quiet again. "This is the first time you've come up close to one, right?"

"Laurent," Jacob reminded him, his jaw clenching at the very thought.

"Well, how did you feel when you were with Laurent?" Jared interrogated, directing his attention back to Montana. "Were you angry?"

"No, um..." she paused, deliberating over her words. "More like...well, terrified," she replied truthfully.

A heaviness settled around the room. Jacob's eyes fell on his alpha, who had noticeably fallen quietly for some time. "Sam," he spoke, finally prompting him to look up. Sam drew in a breath, resting his forearms arms against the kitchen counter. "You haven't said anything for a while."

Sam's eyes lifted slowly, meeting Montana's worried gaze. "You should talk to your parents."

Montana frowned, whilst Jacob took a step forwards, both of them speaking simultaneously. "What?"

"They should know about this," Sam affirmed, straightening his stance. "Talk to them."

"Is that– is that all you have to say?" Jacob couldn't help but bite back. Sam stared at him, their hardened eyes locking. Jacob scoffed, shaking his head in disbelief. "So what? What the hell are we supposed do now?"

"Research," Sam responded calmly. "I'll talk to the council. We can–"

"And then what?" Jacob pressed, narrowing his eyes challengingly at his alpha.

"We'll figure it out," Sam assured. Jacob breathed in deeply to suppress his growing rage. "Montana is in no danger right now–"

"You don't know that!"

"–So there is no need for us to panic," Sam finished sternly. Jacob's jaw tightened, and he gritted his teeth together. "I'm going to talk to the council," Sam continued, eyes drifting across to Montana. "Until then, there's nothing else we can do."

Jacob slammed his hand against the counter in frustration, turning and leaving the room. Montana flinched at the sound. Her shoulders tightened as she watched him walk out of the door.

Emily moved out from behind the kitchen island, placing a hand on the younger girl's shoulder, in a comforting gesture. Sam stepped towards them both, eyes softening as he stopped in front of Montana.

"Everything's gonna be ok." He reassured, his voice gentler than before. "Go home. Talk to your parents. We'll figure this out. All of us. Together."

Montana nodded her head, desperately wanting to believe him. The fact that she had no idea how to properly access her newfound power, or what it actually was, terrified her. She didn't know who she could be putting in danger, including herself, or how to stop herself from accidentally triggering it. There was no way of knowing whether there would ever be any answers for her.

Embry got to his feet, indicating towards the door with a simple tilt of his head. Montana moved herself out of Emily's light hold, giving the woman a parting hug. Montana smiled gratefully at her and Sam one last time, before making her way over to the door.

As they stepped out onto the porch, Montana slowed to a stop, catching sight of Jacob pacing in front of his car.

"Try not to worry, ok?" Embry told her

"Yeah, that's easy for you to say," Montana mumbled in response. She turned her head to face him, sighing heavily at her own words. "Sorry."

Embry shook his head, wrapping an arm around her shoulders, the action pulling her closer into his side. "I love you, ok?"

Montana smiled softly at her best friend in appreciation. "Love you too."

Embry looked ahead of them again, his nose scrunching slightly. "You should probably go to Jake, calm him down."

Montana nodded in agreement, moving out of Embry's hold. She shared a final small smile with him, before heading down the steps.

As she approached him, Jacob opened the passenger side door for her without a word. She raised an eyebrow, almost hesitating for a moment. Did she really want to get in the car with an angry werewolf?

Montana figured that Jacob would never purposely put her a dangerous situation, especially if he didn't think he could control himself. So, she got in.

Truthfully, Montana was a little annoyed at his temper. It was her problem, not his. Sam and the others were only trying to help, and he reacted poorly.

Jacob shut the drivers side door more aggressively than he intended to, the sound making her jolt. Montana watched him from the corner of her eye, his actions and movements harsh as he started the engine.

She wasn't even sure why Jacob was so stressed. He hadn't needed to be so curt to Sam, who was doing everything he could to try and help and reassure her. He was so unnecessarily snappy at the other boys too, who, again, were just trying to help. And now he was going to continue taking his bad mood out on her?

Out of everyone, it should have been Montana throwing the temper tantrum. She totally understood that Jacob was stressed about a lot of things in his life, but so was she, and even more so after what happened at Bella's.

Montana really wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt, since he was only acting that way because he cared for her. She knew he had been worried about Victoria too, who was still making regular reappearances, and also Bella, who nobody had actually heard from since she left with Alice Cullen. That last part annoyed her more than it probably should have, since, from where Montana was coming from, Bella didn't deserve to have people who cared for her, if that was going to be how she treated them in return.

Montana folded her arms over her chest, directing her attention back in front of her. She exhaled heavily in frustration, wanting Jacob to recognise that she was annoyed at him. As intended, he glanced over at her, noticing the familiar actions and expression that signalled Montana was pissed off at him; something he'd seen plenty of times before. Jacob knew she wasn't going to make the first move in confronting him about it – Montana was stubborn like that, the type of person to try and bury her frustrations, despite making them evidently clear to the other person, rather than just communicating in the first place.

It bothered Jacob that, out of everything, he had clearly ended up being the source of her frustrations. In hindsight, he'd realised that he'd been a bit of a dick to the others earlier, though it was only because of how much he worried for Montana. He desperately wished that she could understand that part. If only he could find the right chance to tell her that she was his imprint. If only.

They drove in silence, both of them quietly stewing on their own frustrations, things that had been slowly picking apart the both of them for weeks, building and building to the point of no return.

By the time Jacob had pulled into her driveway, ten minutes later, he'd realised that he needed to make the first move in apologising, in order to even attempt to coax something out of Montana.

Stopping the engine, he released a heavy breath, shifting around to face her. "I'm sorry."

Montana's hardened eyes briefly directed towards him, before flickering back to the dashboard. "Hm, for what?"

Jacob looked up in the air in exasperation. "Don't be like that."

She looked over at him this time, arching her eyebrows. He probably shouldn't have said that. "Like what?"

"You know what I'm talking about." Montana scoffed at his reply, moving to unbuckle her seatbelt. "For fuck's sake, Montana," Jacob muttered, watching her promptly exit the car. He quickly undid his own seatbelt, hurrying out after her. "Look, Mon, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have reacted like that at Sam's–"

"All I wanted–" She whirled around midway up the drive, pointing an accusatory finger at him. "All I wanted was for you to be there for me. And instead you were just– just caught up in your own fucking head!"

"Mon–"

"–Angry because Sam couldn't give you the immediate answers you wanted! Storming out of the house like a child because what he said didn't meet your fucking expectations! Did you even stop and think for a second how I was feeling in there?!"

She breathed out shakily as her sudden words tumbled to a stop, chest rising and falling heavily. The pair stared at each other silently, a myriad of emotions dancing in their eyes.

"Look..." Montana began again, drawing in a deep breath. "It's not your problem. It's mine, all right? So let me deal with it."

"Yeah, it is your problem," Jacob spoke back, his stare not once breaking away from hers. "And that makes it mine too."

Montana's eyebrows pulled together. "Wh–" she shook her head at him, fumbling over her words. "No, Jacob. No. That doesn't make it your problem. I can deal with this, okay? You don't need to– you don't have to get so protective–"

"Montana–"

"Jacob–"

"No, Montana. No, that's not true. And, you know what else, Mon? You can't say that I haven't been there for you, because I have!" he fired back. "Okay, yeah, not so much earlier, but it was only because I was frustrated! Because I want you to be okay, Mon. I don't want you to be scared, or worried, or stressed–"

"I'm not–" Montana shook her head, swallowing thickly. "I'm not scared."

Jacob took a careful step towards her, his expression softening. "Montana, you don't have to pretend to be anything around me."

"I'm not pretending!"

"So much has happened since yesterday," Jacob reminded, trying to take a calmer approach. "None of us are thinking straight. And I'm sorry for how I acted earlier."

"You just...you don't have to worry about me so much," Montana told him. She tore her gaze away from his, choosing to look elsewhere. "Whatever's happening to me..." Montana trailed, shaking her head dismissively. "There's more important things going on right now. Victoria should be your priority."

"Montana–"

"And I know you're stressed about Bella–"

"Jesus Christ, Bella is literally the least of my worries right now!" Jacob snapped back. Montana looked up at him, unconvinced by his words. "Seriously? I could not care less where Bella. All I care about, all I will ever care about, is you." His sincere eyes locked with hers. Montana almost caught her breath, feeling rooted to the spot. She realised she was standing barely inches away from him now. "You are my priority, Montana," Jacob said. "Always."

Montana stared at him wordlessly for a moment longer, her heart swelling with warmth. Her chest tightened as she breathed in deeply, pleading with herself to resist what he was saying. As sweet as it sounded, she didn't want to be Jacob's main priority. It felt selfish to expect something like that from him, to be the main reason he was so preoccupied, to be the cause of something like his bad attitude towards the pack.

"I shouldn't mean that much." Jacob closed his eyes shut as she spoke, regretting what he'd said. He hadn't wanted to frighten her away with his feelings. "Not to the point that you feel and react the way you did earlier."

"You don't–" Jacob sighed heavily in frustration, all the words he wanted to say, the words he'd been practicing for days, and weeks, and months, unable to form properly on his tongue. "You don't understand."

"What don't I understand, Jake?"

He groaned in exasperation, running a hand through his hair. "I can't...I just...I can't..."

Montana huffed a little impatiently, sparing a glance in the direction of her house. "Look, maybe you should just go home? Get some rest, you look exhausted.

"I'm not tired." Jacob almost wanted to laugh. "Christ, Montana, I'm not tired. Will you stop assuming that I'm tired–"

"Um, well, it's kinda hard not to assume that," she retorted back. "Literally anything people do, or say, is riling you up. You need to take care of yourself, Jake. You're not sleeping enough–" He interrupted her with a scoff. "–And it's affecting you, Jake! You can't let things bother you so much."

"Yeah, well, sorry for giving a shit," he snapped.

Montana stared at him in utter disbelief.

Oh boy, that comment definitely wasn't going to do him any favours.

"You stand here, telling me that I'm you're top priority, yet I'm not allowed to ask you to get some fucking sleep for once? This thing–" she gestured between the two of them with her hand. "–Doesn't just work one way, Jake. I won't let myself become someone you'll drop absolutely everything for, not if you can't let me give that same energy back to you."

"I don't want you to give me anything back!" Jacob's voice elevated with his frustrations. "Montana, you don't get it–"

"Then explain it to me!"

All right. Fuck it.

Jacob finally decided he'd had enough. He did not give a single shit if it was the worst timing in the entire world. He had to make her to understand how strong his urge to protect her was, how every fibre of his being was urging him, at all times, to keep her safe. She had to know the way he felt.

He was going to tell her everything.

"Jake?"

"I–"

He couldn't get any words out.

"For fuck's sake, Jacob!"

"Hang on, I'm trying!"

"Jacob!"

"Just wait!"

"Oh, for the love of God, stop gawking at me and give me a straight answer for once!"

At this, Jacob's brows lifted in amusement. His overthinking ceased for a second. "Gawking?"

Montana let out a sound of irritation, turning away from him. But, in the midst of preparing to stomp indoors, Jacob's hand had latched around her wrist, prompting her to come back to him.

Montana hadn't realised, until then, exactly how heavily she was breathing. It was as if she'd done a full cardio workout, when all that was actually happening was a simple argument. And her hands were shaking too. Why were her hands shaking? Did she want to hit him or something? God, she looked so ridiculous, standing there opposite him. Montana was five foot four at best, and Jacob was absolutely towering over her. It was like a kitten going up against a bear.

"You– you're such a..." Jacob waited for whatever she was going to come out with, unable to help the corners of his mouth lifting. "Ugh! You know what you are!"

"Do I?"

"Yes!"

"Go on..."

Montana placed her hands on her hips, tilting her head back to look up at him properly. Their eyes met, and Montana felt all her words escape her, becoming a tangled mess of thoughts and emotions in her head. All because stupid Jacob was staring at her with a stupid grin on his stupid face, and one minutes ago she wanted to smack him, but there he was, russet skin basking in the glow of the sun, hair a mess from the amount of times he'd ran his hands through it, t-shirt really very, very tight against his toned body, mischievous glint in those gorgeous brown eyes... and, suddenly, she had ended up thinking that she might want to... kiss him?

"You...you, suck."

Oh, Jacob was loving this. "I suck?"

Montana gulped. "Yes."

His lips teased into a grin. "Is that really the best you can do?"

"Just give me a minute," she told him, her face flushing as she glanced elsewhere. How embarrassing.

"Mon?"

"Yes?"

"Look at me."

She didn't, purposefully. "I don't want to."

Jacob bit back a smirk. "Why?"

"Because."

"Because?"

"Because..." Montana took a deep breath, bundles of nerves coiling in her stomach. "Because you keep making me forget everything I want to say."

It was quiet. Montana regretted everything, until she heard him speak again.

"Will you let me talk instead?" Jacob asked her.

Montana pressed her lips together. "It depends."

"On?"

"Whether what you're going to say is stupid or not."

She locked eyes with him again, fully expecting him to be grinning down at her like before. But Jacob was looking at her softly; so softly that she could quite possibly melt on the spot.

"Montana." He only said her name, but his gaze was so earnest, and so focused on her, that it made her freeze entirely. "I think there's something you should know. And this might...it might change things between us."

He waited a second, waited for her to react in some way, but she didn't. She didn't say anything, she couldn't even muster a single word.

"You heard about imprinting, right? It sounds really...um, well, it sounds worse than it is. But it's how we find our...soulmates, I guess. It can mean anything. A friend, a protector, a, uh, romantic partner. Whatever the other person wants. And, well..." Shit. Fuck. Shit. Fuck. Shit. Fuck. Fuck. "I imprinted on you, Montana."

Jacob watched her unsurely, giving her time to process things. But when, after a few agonising seconds, she didn't even blink, he began to panic. Intense nausea had nestled in the pit of his stomach, regret overwhelming him instantly. His bottom lip was tugged anxiously between his teeth.

Jacob had really, really, really messed up. He was never going to recover from this.

"Imprint..?"

Jacob snapped his head up at the sound of her voice. "Imprint," he clarified, swallowing the anxious lump that had gathered in the back of his throat. His pulse was racing unbearably fast.

"Soulmates..?"

"Um, yes, sort of, yeah."

"Oh."

Jacob's heart plummeted right there. "Oh?"

Montana's expression was entirely blank. He had absolutely no idea what she was thinking, but his mind had already determined that it wasn't good. Her silence was not a positive sign.

He had fucked up. So bad.

Jacob lowered his head in shame. Regret. Disappointment. Embarrassment. God, he could just die right there, on the spot.

And then, Montana said, "I'm not surprised."

Jacob lifted his head back up so fast, he almost got whiplash. "You're not?"

"No," she replied, blinking once. Then twice. Three times. Montana's eyes then grew distant, seeming to lose herself in thought.

Jacob was going to pass out. He wanted her to say more. What did this mean?!

"Are you..." he hesitated. "Are you okay? With this? With...me?"

"Yes," she said, sincerely, though it sounded as if that part had surprised her. Truthfully, Montana was surprised. Not about them actually being soulmates. No, she was surprised at the fact that she wasn't surprised about them being soulmates. "It feels..."

"Right?" Jacob finished for her.

She nodded her head. He'd found the exact word.

"I...Look, I don't understand entirely how I feel right now," she admitted, looking at him warily, conscious of not wanting to disappoint him. He'd told her something very personal, and she didn't want to crush him.

Jacob shook his head quickly, rushing out. "You don't have to."

"I...yeah. I think that I just need some time," she concluded. "But, um, yeah..." Montana looked at their surroundings. She didn't know what to do with herself. She didn't know what to say. In fact, she wasn't even sure what words were anymore. "Thanks for telling me?"

Thanks for telling me? Thanks for fucking telling me?! Kill her, now.

"That's okay..." Jacob was hopeless. He didn't know what to say either. "I'm sorry about earlier. It's just the imprint bond, it makes everything stronger."

"I get it," Montana assured. It did make sense. A lot more made sense, actually. She was remembering scenarios, words, actions, that she didn't quite understand at the time. Jacob's intensity lately...it made perfect sense now. "I'm sorry for being a dick earlier too."

A faint smile crossed his lips. He didn't want to admit it, but yeah. "Only a little," he said truthfully. "A tiny bit."

He hoped he hadn't offended her. But suddenly, It didn't matter what he'd said, because Montana smiled at him. One that reached her eyes. The slow and gentle brightening of her expression made Jacob's heart race even more. The assurance of a gesture, even as simple as a smile, had completely filled him with relief. He was struggling not to let himself become absolutely consumed by elation.

Jacob had finally spoken his deepest secret out loud. He'd told Montana, actually told her, spoken the dreaded word, imprint, and the world hadn't even ended. It wasn't a disaster.

"So, where do we go from here?" She asked him, a little unsurely.

"Wherever you want."

Montana nodded her head. "Okay."

They both looked at each other. Neither of them moved. Montana didn't know what to do. Jacob didn't either.

She had a lot of feelings. New. Old. Repressed and resurfacing. Montana didn't even know how so many emotions could fit into one very small person. She needed a nap. But her heart was pounding so fast she'd never be able to sleep. Oh, god, could Jacob hear her heart practically hammering out of her chest?

"You need some time, don't you?"

Montana's expression softened. He looked disheartened, and she felt bad. "Yes," she answered truthfully. "But, not in a bad way." Montana reached for his hands. They were warm. "I think...I think that, right now, this feels natural. And I don't want that to change. I don't want to force anything."

"I agree," Jacob said. He was staring at her again, like she put the stars in the sky. Montana loved and loathed that look. It really made her feel things.

It seemed that a lot of hidden feelings were coming out. Montana was half wondering whether she'd had a crush on him for a while now. Everyone did kind of keep hinting about it. How had she managed to repress that for so long, though? Jacob's confession had really opened up a can of worms.

"I'll let you think," Jacob decided, his hands carefully slipping from her grip. Montana was a bit disappointed at the action. She liked holding his hands. She always had. They were so warm, and also so big, they engulfed hers. Holding Jake's hand always made her feel so safe, so protected. It was nice.

"That's probably a good idea."

Jacob took one final look at her. It was very noticeable. Montana wondered if it had always been that noticeable.

She needed to ask Dakota. Oh, god, Dakota. She was going to laugh so hard when she found out. Montana could already imagine it. "Of fucking course you're soulmates!"

Perhaps it would be wiser to talk to someone else instead. Embry was a good listener, but he'd probably tell Jake. Quil...would not understand without being explained to. Diane too. Oh dear. Maybe it would have to be Dakota after all.

"I'll come by later," Jacob promised, moving closer to the car. "What Sam said earlier, talking to your parents about what happened at Bella's...it's probably a good idea."

Montana had completely forgotten about that. What a welcome distraction. She wouldn't have to address her feelings about Jacob at all! At least, not just yet anyway. "Yeah, I'll do that."

Jacob smiled. Even his smile was different now. It was so pretty. The way his perfectly straight teeth aligned. The way the dimple on his left cheek crinkled. The way it lit up his eyes. Montana felt like she was seeing for the first time.

"So, I'll see you later then?"

She smiled. "See you later."

Jacob left. Montana watched. And then she stood in the middle of the driveway for a while, thinking holy fuck.

A/N

pls do not come at me for not making them kiss!!! I know I built it up, I know you want it, I know it was mean of me not to make it happen, and I'm sorry!!!

There's genuinely been about three different versions of how this chapter went, but this is the one I chose and I shall stand by it!!

This is the first time that we've actually seen Montana properly consider her feelings for Jacob. But, it means she's got a lot of feelings to deal with and she's very unsure and confused. Montana definitely isn't the type of person to go 'fuck it' and just kiss him, because she pretty much always thinks about what she does. Jacob is also a nice boy and does not want to overwhelm her any more than she already is (Reminder – the past six chapters have taken place within the same 24 hours!)

So, Montana needs a bit of time to understand everything that's going on, sort out what's going on in her head, and find her feet again. Jacob is a step ahead of her in that he's been through those exact same feelings, except a few months earlier, so he's going to wait for it to be her decision. But it's going to happen soon!! I know slow burn is painful, but it will happen!!

Also, I'm not even joking when I say this chapter took me so fucking long to write. It's bordering on 4500 words and I've edited it like a billion times. I am ! exhausted ! so I really hope you guys enjoyed it 😭