CHAPTER ELEVEN
HURTS

Montana, without sounding too dramatic, was losing the fucking will to live.

The party on Friday night, from what Montana actually remembered of it, had been a blast. Diane was telling the truth when she promised that the girls on her cheer squad were some of the nicest people she would ever meet. Montana now had a group of people to hang out with in Forks whenever she needed a break from the Rez, which was becoming increasingly more likely by the day.

When Monday morning finally came, she was practically bursting with excitement to tell her best friends how great the party was, and even to inform Quil that she'd made friends with a girl that he would absolutely love. However, when she stepped through the doorway into History class and saw a stone faced Quil beside an empty seat, where Jacob should have been, everything seemed to come crashing down around her.

Jake had mono, according to Billy Black, which Montana knew was bullshit. To make matters worse, her parents had started acting even more strange; hushed whispers of conversations in the kitchen, unbearably fake smiles, more council meetings. Montana was on the brink of losing it, and the constant stares from Jared, Paul and Embry at school were not helping.

Quil slammed his locker door shut violently, the sound making Montana flinch. "Why do they keep looking at us like that?"

"I don't know," she responded, shifting her eyes across to the three boys in question. They stood together at the end of the corridor, not being subtle in the slightest about the looks they were giving Montana and Quil. "I can't figure out why. It's almost as if it's out of pity...but at the same time..." she trailed off, sighing when she couldn't come up with an answer to finish her sentence. "I'm so sick of all this."

"Me too," Quil agreed, leaning his back against the locker. "I don't get why they keep leaving. Like, is there something wrong with us?"

"No, they're just jerks," Montana huffed, her eyes narrowing in the direction of the boys. "Something's not right though," she noted. "It's definitely to do with Sam."

"I just hate this," Quil mumbled, turning to face her properly. "None of it makes sense."

"I'm just gonna let them get on with it," Montana told him honestly. "I'm not wasting my energy. If they wanna throw this friendship away then they can, I'm not chasing after them anymore, and neither should you. We both deserve better."

Quil exhaled heavily, falling quiet for a few moments. "This fucking sucks."

"I know." Montana met his eyes with a heavy heart. Quil was taking the disappearances of his best friends hard, and it showed on his face. His eyes were heavy with sadness, and he seemed to wear a hurt expression almost all the time now. "Hey, uh, Diane invited me to hang out with her and some friends this weekend. Do you wanna come along?"

Quil shrugged. "I dunno."

"It'll be fun," Montana persuaded. "Better than hanging around here."

"I guess you're right," he said, shrugging again. "All right, I'll come."

Montana smiled, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Everything's gonna be okay, Q. You've still got me, I'm not going anywhere. Promise."

Quil held up his little finger. "Pinky swear?"

Montana smiled fondly at her best friend as she held up her own finger, locking it with his. "Pinky swear."

Once the bell had rang to signal the start of their next period, Montana and Quil went their separate ways to their different classes, promising to meet up again at lunch. Montana had English, which, thankfully, she could tolerate. She took her seat beside Kim, who turned to face Montana with her usual warm smile and enthusiastic greeting. "Hi!"

Montana didn't know how such a small person had so much hyperactive energy, but she loved it about Kim; no matter what, the girl always managed to put a smile on her face.

"Hey, Kim," Montana smiled, placing her books on the desk. "How's it going?"

"Great, thanks," she replied. "I meant to tell you, actually. Jared officially asked me to be his girlfriend over the weekend!"

Montana had completely forgotten about that. She'd done exactly what Jared had asked her to do when he'd shown up at her track practice a few weeks ago, begging her to put a good word in for him to Kim. Of course, it didn't take anything more than a mere mention of Jared's name to send Kim giddy, so it wasn't exactly a difficult job. Eventually, he'd finally grown the balls to ask her out, and the two of them had been going on dates over the past couple of weeks.

"That's great, Kim," Montana smiled genuinely. "I'm really happy for you."

"Thank you," Kim beamed. Montana didn't think the girl's joyous smile could possibly get any wider. It was sweet though, especially since Kim had harboured a crush on Jared for such a long time. Montana was glad it had worked out so well for her. "So, how are you doing?" Kim asked, her tone serious. She shifted closer to Montana, lowering her voice slightly. "Jared told me what's been going on with your friends."

"Oh," was all Montana could quite respond, pressing her lips together tightly. "I mean, I'm doing okay, I guess."

Kim searched her eyes for a moment, unconvinced by her response. Montana couldn't help her eyes brimming with tears, and had quickly shifted her gaze in hopes of masking them. Kim had noticed, though, and immediately felt her heart sink in pity for the girl. "If you ever need to talk, or you wanna hang out or something, I'm here," Kim told her sincerely.

She gave her a watery smile. "Thank you, I appreciate it."

Montana spent the entirety of English class consumed in her own thoughts, struggling to hold back tears as she began to overthink about everything that was going on in her life at the moment.

Montana thought she had been doing a fairly decent job of masking how painful Embry and Jacob abandoning her had been, and had managed to push her own feelings down deeply enough in order to just carry on with life as normal.

But when she got home later that day, finding Dakota and Leah, who she hadn't seen in a long time, sprawled out on the couch watching a film, she realised the very moment that they caught sight of her and asked if she was ok, that she was, in fact, not.

Montana broke down and told them everything; her hurt at the abandonment of her friends, her worry for what they'd gotten themselves into, how much it hurt being lied to by everyone around her – even suspicions about her own parents.

Neither Dakota or Leah knew how to make Montana feel any better, because they had precisely zero answers. They listened to her, and let her cry, which admittedly did lift a huge weight from her chest. Montana felt like Leah knew very well where she was coming from, as she was left completely in the dark by Sam when he broke things off with her without any sort of explanation. They both now held a huge resentment towards him, for entirely different reasons, though Montana was naturally also angry at him for his treatment of Leah, and Leah was now furious that her ex boyfriend's weird little cult had caused the nicest person she'd ever met to be sat on the living room floor in flood of tears.

Whilst Dakota went to pick up Montana's father from work, Montana and Leah decided to bake cookies, in an effort to cheer her up. The kitchen was a complete mess by the time they'd put them in the oven, and Montana had ended up with baking mixture all over her face and apron, as did Leah – remnants of a very small food fight.

"So Kotes told me you've been hanging out more with your friend Diane from work," Leah said, leaning back against the kitchen counter. "It must be nice having friends in Forks, spending some time away from this place."

"Yeah, it's been really good, actually," Montana responded honestly. She didn't actually know what she would have done this past month without the positive ray of light that was Diane Sawyer. Their little talks during shifts at the diner were of solace to Montana, who always felt better being able to talk to an outsider, somebody who barely knew her friends or her town at all, and could give her unbiased advice, or just be there to listen and comfort her. They'd definitely grown closer over the past few weeks, and had been hanging out together much more, which was a great distraction for Montana, especially since she actually had a lot of fun with Diane and her friends. "It's funny, she's the complete opposite to you but I think you'd absolutely love her."

"Well, Dakota speaks highly of her sister," Leah said, the corner of her mouth curling into a playful smirk. Montana's eyebrows arched at the mention of Ivy Sawyer, waiting curiously for Leah to continue. "Speaking of, what's going on there?"

"Honestly, I don't know," Montana answered truthfully. "But they've been spending a lot of time together."

Leah nodded, her eyes growing distant for a moment. "I haven't seen Dakota so happy in such a long time."

"Yeah, me either," Montana agreed. "It's nice. Whatever's going on, it's been really good for her."

"What about you?" Leah asked. "Anyone special?"

Montana shook her head, her chest aching at the question. She'd had two of the most special guys in her life, and now they wanted absolutely nothing to do with her. "I mean, I've got Quil," Montana attempted a smile to disguise her hurt.

"Honestly? Guys suck," Leah said. "You're better off not getting involved with them."

"Yeah."

"Also I would have to kick some teenage boy ass if they ever hurt you," Leah added. "And, contrary to how many people perceive me, I don't particularly like to beat people up."

Montana's lips tugged, and she laughed, genuinely laughed, as Leah also cracked a small smile. She couldn't imagine anybody else having her back the way Leah did. The older girl was fiercely protective of the people she cared about, and whilst it was a little intense, Montana absolutely loved it, and her.

"Everything's gonna be ok, you know," Leah assured. Montana averted her gaze, staring down at the floor. "It might not feel like it right now, but it gets easier."

"I hope you're right," Montana said.

"I'm always right," Leah pointed out. "And in this case, definitely."

"I wish there was a way to stop how much it hurts, you know?" Montana held back a sigh, lifting her eyes back up to Leah's. "It's like someone's punched a hole in my chest every time I see Embry. And now Jacob's gone too..."

"There's no way to make it stop," Leah told her simply, moving away from the counter. "It's gonna hurt, for a long time, but you make room for it, because you have to get on with things."

Montana shook her head, looking up at her through watery eyes. "How do you do it, Leah?"

"I don't know," Leah answered honestly. "I just take every day as it comes, you know?" She looked pitifully at Montana. "I guess that's just all you can do."

A/N

Montana needs a hug 🥺

The Midnight Sun release announcement means that the twilight renaissance is in full swing, and I am absolutely here for it