A/N I think this chapter was the hardest thing I've ever written. I put three chapters into one and the length was far beyond what I expected. And, TITLE CHANGE! This fic is now Midnight Eyes, hope you all like the new name :) (It was previously Lone for all of you that don't know). Any, without further ado, here's CHAPTER 30!!!

Phil worked at the zoo five days a week and watched as Dan's form deteriorated. His cat form was little and bony, resembling that of a stray's, whilst his human figure was withered and gaunt, the pallor of his skin to white to imagine. Phil couldn't do a thing but watch and wish that things were different. It was Dan's fault, he realised, but he refused to acknowledge that fact.

It was not Dan's fault that he was trapped but it was his fault that he didn't eat, couldn't eat, he claimed. He refused to be treated like an animal and his hunger strike was his easiest way to rebel. He had made the decision subconsciously, his own body forcing him to lose his appetite rather than any sort of active rebellion.

Phil had tried to feed him himself but nothing worked. Dan had become immune to starvation. He choked up each thing that went down and gagged at the sight of the fish they flung at him. He wasn't an animal, he kept repeating that. Phil believed him but wished he would just act like it for a second.

To live because an animal's instinct was to survive.

Phil didn't know why so many humans failed that.

Phil was desperate and in his desperation, he began his plan. Within four weeks, he had made friends throughout the exhibits and had even talked to the animal trainers- specifically the Neko trainer, Ana. She was nicer than expected and Phil was surprised with the respect that she gave him that she lacked in her training. She claimed that they needed discipline and her strictness was the best way to accomplish that.

Seeing Dan's state, Phil was not too sure.

But, in doing so, Phil had gained vital information. The layout of the training centre for one, from both cleaning it and being shown rooms that- technically- he was not allowed to clean. Ana had taken a liking to him and was easily manipulated. Phil hated it. But, it was necessary and if that meant asking her to do things that were, possibly, against regulations, then he would so.

The rooms he had found were things he would rather not think about. White cells, padded walls- similar to the cells that Phil had so often seen in American films when they flung the psychopaths into prison, straight jackets and all. They called it the 'disciplinary room'. It was for those who actively rebelled.

Phil hadn't stopped trembling for days at the thought of Dan being locked in there, unable to see anything but white. Dan had claimed he hadn't been there before. Phil wasn't sure whether to believe him. With his current behaviour, he imagined that the staff hadn't taken it too well. He had been too afraid to ask Ana.

Other rooms were ones that were used for mating. Unused, so far, they were still being prepped. Dan was the first male they'd had, the Neko they had been waiting for. Phil had lost his appetite that day too.

Six weeks passed since Dan was first locked up and nothing had changed. The light in Dan's eyes had died and the hope that urged Phil on was dwindling like a candle in the wind. He had a plan, he did. Sort of. Get Dan when he was in one of the training rooms, take him and run.

Unfortunately, he hadn't yet planned for any of the consequences of that plan nor what could go wrong. A lot could go wrong. A lot. But, it was something, Phil decided- maybe to just boost his own ego or maybe because it was the only thing that allowed him to have any small slither of hope that was left.

Phil mopped the training room floor, trying not to ruin his work at the sight of the moulded blood- a rusty red staining the marble. Phil didn't want to think about what got it there. Although, behind few layers, he knew why it was a reality he was seeing and not his own mind playing tricks on him.

Blood. Someone's blood, possibly Dan's blood. He continued to wash the red away, staining it with bleach and water. The water ran away red and the bleach hissed as it touched the red. Phil wished he could leave the stains there as proof of what happened but no, here he was washing the crimes away as if they were nothing.

He was just a janitor, he had no place in rebellion. Not, at least, until he found the perfect opportunity.

The door creaked open and Phil froze, the water flooding from his mop like tears.

'Dan, what did I say about eating?' The girl sighed, talking to Dan as if he wasn't being dragged along by two of the zoo's security team.

'You told me I had to eat.' Dan repeated almost maniacally; this had happened a lot, Phil understood.

'And what did you do?' Phil had never heard words so condescending, not even from his own mother. She spoke to him as if he was a child. Dan was short, yes, but that did not mean he was a child. He was older than the doctor herself, surely. Phil almost wished it was Ana here, at least he could talk her out of whatever was about to happen.

Phil sunk his head low and packed his cleaning items away before ploughing away but was stopped by a fragile hand. He looked down to see the cracked, pastel pink nail varnish and fingers that looked like they hadn't seen moisture in their life- cracked and wrinkled far beyond the age that he presumed she was.

'You can stay. This place needs to be clean.' She smiled gently like she hadn't just been patronising Phil's best friend, like Phil meant something when Dan meant nothing. Behind that smile, rehearsed and precise, Phil could see that there was something else. Whether it was good or bad, Phil could not tell.

He stayed. Only because he wanted to see what happened next. Or maybe he didn't want to see. But he had to know. He had to at least know what Dan went through. He took his mop from the bucket and returned to his old place, continuously washing away the same patch of blood until the red-stained water created a new stain. It was barely a speck on the floor but Phil kept scrubbing, the dot spreading through the crack and seams on the floor until it stained pink.

'Now, Dan. I did say that if you didn't eat, punishment was going to happen. I don't want to but you leave me no choice. I gave you more warnings than anyone else here.' She looked down at him pitifully, her eyes softened but the smile still in place.

'Please don't.' Dan's voice was a mere whisper, his eyes drifting between the floor and Phil, begging for help. Phil couldn't do a thing but watch the water flood.

'Dan, I can't give you any more warnings. You're distressing people.' Phil fought the urge to say that it was her who was distressing him.

'I'm sorry.' Dan's voice trembled, his head bowed to look down at his fragile hands, his ears barely peeking out of his curling hair- it had grown to ludicrous lengths by now and Dan could barely see in front of him.

'I know you are, Dan, but that doesn't change anything.' She ruffled his hair and Dan winced. Phil almost ripped her arm away, his hand clenching the wood so hard that the edges frayed and splinters dug into his hands.

'Please.' He begged, the look of submissiveness a desperate act to keep his sanity.

'Don't worry, Dan. It will be over soon. We're going to bring in a specialist.' She talked as if he was getting therapy and not someone who was going to come and force him further into a place of submissiveness.

'I don't want to.' He pleaded, his eyes wide, tears drenching the deep brown, turning them glossy.

'It's not your choice.' She stepped away, hardening her features. She acted as if she believed this truly was the best method. Phil didn't move, listening to every word, wondering if every animal at the zoo got this kind of treatment. The woman turned and began to talk in hushed voices to the security officers, one of them quickly departing- no doubt to get the 'specialist'.

Dan's eyes met Phil's and begged him just as he had begged the woman. Phil could do nothing but looked hopeless, shaking his head, tears flooding his eyes too.

Dan didn't resist the refusal but never let his gaze drift, clinging to Phil even with the chasm between them. Hope, Phil had been the symbol of hope. Now, he was a mere object to look at to distract Dan from his own world of torture.

Phil wouldn't have thought, those mere months ago that Dan had first been found, that it would ever to lead to this. It felt so unrealistic- something that was never supposed to happen to him.

They say similar things about Nekos. They were creatures that were never supposed to exist- something categorized amongst mermaids and werewolves. Halflings weren't meant to be real. Yet Phil saw one here and now, crying and shaking, his ears flat against his shaggy hair.

Phil had never been so melancholy at the sight of something so beautifully rare.

The woman returned with another by her side. They were twins in many respects, matching, tight-twisted bun and flaking red lipstick that contrasted too deeply with their slightly orange foundation. They weren't ugly nor were they smothered in makeup. Something was just...off. Something sinisterly wrong about the way they stood, spoke, acted, like it was someone above the speaking through their mouths, moving them like puppets and stripping them of their will.

'Hannah, you may go.' The unfamiliar woman spoke, not looking anywhere but Dan. Hannah left alongside the two guards to leave Dan and the punishment trainer alone- and Phil, but they didn't seem to even notice Phil. Invisible as ever.

'Hi, Dan, is it?' Dan nodded. 'I'm Charlotte and I'm here because I've been told you've been naughty and not been eating.' She leant down, her hands resting on her knees as she brought herself down to his level. She was barely in her thirties but resembled something of an old witch, her nose sharp and her cheekbones protruding from her hollow cheeks. Phil looked up at the fluorescent lighting and cursed them for revealing as much of the torment as they did. The woman, Charlotte, looked as tired as the rest of them- barely able to keep up her patronising speech.

Dan didn't reply, only held his head down in shame.

Charlotte looked down at him, kneeling down to his height and weighing the options with her heavy blue eyes. 'Dan, why did you do this?' She sighed. With little energy, Dan shrugged, his eyes never leaving the pristine floor.

'Dan,' she repeated, 'why did you do this?'

'Because I don't want to be here.' He whispered, his voice hoarse having gone days without being used.

'And starving was going to help?' Dan didn't reply; he couldn't reply. He knew if those words in his head were uttered aloud that punishment was going to be far worse than before. And Phil watched. Phil watched as Dan's face contorted into fear and his trembling hands became tremors of his whole body.

'Dan, you have to answer me.' She spoke as softly as an angel- one fallen from heaven, it's white feathers stained red. He shook his head.

'Answer me.' The feathers turned black.

'I want to die.' His words were so fast, so close, that Phil almost didn't catch him. But he did, as did Charlotte.

'Clearer.' Taunting him, she smiled.

'I want to die.' Dan spoke with truth, something he should have never admitted out loud. It was something that he wasn't supposed to say, taboo. Dan wanted to die. Dan wanted to die because after all he had gone through, once he had found a glimpse of happiness, it had been ripped from his own, bare hands.

Dan was a body for the human race to mould and to destroy. And destroy it they had.

'Well done, Dan.' She left a gentle hand on his shoulder as if he hadn't just admitted to the worst of sins. She smiled as if he had given a compliment on her perfected lipstick- the one that was crumbling off of her lips. 'Now, I want you to know that this is for your own benefit and nothing but.' She was serious, her mouth settled in a hard line. Dan nodded and Phil let his eyes drift to the puddle of the water on the floor.

He wished he had been noticed, sent out. But no, he was a nobody- nothing worth sending out of the room. Phil wouldn't do anything. Would he?

Phil heard the buzz before he heard the collar. Charlotte was in front of Dan now, pressing a button on a small, hand-held remote in her hand. Each time the button was pressed, the collar buzzed. Phil watched, entranced by the sheer cruelty of it. A collar to put on an animal- an electrocution device to punish them.

Phil could do nothing as he watched her lace it around Dan's neck. Dan, whose legs were close to crumbling, didn't move. He peered down to try and watch the cuff lace around his neck but his vision was too unsatisfactory. As he thought of everything about himself.

His eyes caught Phil's again and this time there was no pain, no hopelessness, no plea. It was empty, a brown abyss of emptiness and uncaring. Dan had truly lost all hope and couldn't even muster the energy to care.

'Dan,' she repeated his name as if each time it would make Dan trust her just a little more. It never did. 'I'm going to give you some food. If you don't eat it, you get a shock. If you do, you won't. Clear?' He nodded. 'Then, let's begin.'

The game began before Phil could even look up. Dan screamed, his hands clawing at the collar, sending further shocks through his body. The scream tore through the silence like a bullet in an empty house. The legs that had been waiting to crumble fell and Dan screamed louder as if Phil could help him.

It stopped.

'That was for not eating before. Now, let's truly begin.' If Phil had imagined what it was like before, he had been wrong. He had been so wrong. There was no removal of liberties because they had started with no liberties at all. Physical torture was the only way to domesticate them.

Because that's what Dan needed, domestication- like an animal.

It hit Phil without warning, cripplingly agonising. Phil hadn't left because they didn't want him to leave. They knew.

They knew.

Why else would they let a janitor see this kind of torture? There was no need for him to clean a floor that was only going to be dirtied again. They knew. Phil trembled and put the mop down, his lips trembling as a sob surpassed them. No tears came nor did any sound but the wracks of his body were enough to know: they knew.

Dan screamed again and Phil forced himself to look. There, in front of Dan, was a fish. Such simplicity, a meal worthy of no man- part or whole. Dan had shaken his head and was greeted with another shock, shaking out of him another blood-curdling scream. Phil wanted to run, had to run. But he couldn't.

This was a show for him. A warning.

He knew as soon as the woman met his eyes, the smile playing on her face again. She knew. 'Why?' He didn't even say the words aloud, the scream would cover it. He mouthed it, a sob escaping his lips so clearly that she smiled brighter. The screaming stopped.

'Phillip Lester, am I correct?' The woman spoke just as patronisingly as before as if she had just gotten the chance to free herself of the constraints of her work. She had finally been given a task and not told what to say. She was a woman with power and with that, she took pride.

'Yes.' He choked it out like there was dust clogging his throat.

'Dan is not here simply because of his refusal to eat. I think you know why.' She paused. 'Dan is not leaving here, he is a danger to society in the wild. We are here to train him and here he will have a better life.' There it was again, those rehearsed words. No matter what, even she still didn't have all the freedom. She was still held back. She still believed the words they put in her head. That everyone put in her head.

'This is better?'

'It will be.'

Dan stared, his fingers gripped at the metal on his neck, pulling and tugging as if his strength alone was enough to free him and not the key that was hung loosely around Charlotte's wrist. Phil didn't do anything, he could only listen- his feet glued to the floor. He tried to move, tried to fight back but his feet wouldn't move nor would his lips.

He watched as she commanding Dan again. Another scream ensued. Phil felt his knees buckle, just as Dan's had. Dan, on his knees, tugged at the collar, again and again, as if each pull was dragging him closer to safety. But they were both useless. Neither could do a thing as she sent another shock coursing through his body.

What had happened?

When had humanity become so cruel?

Phil had never remembered it being like this before. What had he done to fall into the consequential sequence of events that led to this? He hadn't done anything wrong. Nothing of importance anyway. What had he done to deserve this?

He had been given a formula to life- grow up, get a job, get married, have children, die- and yet that hadn't seemed to happen at all. He had grown up, regretfully so, but had still had no interest in any man or woman, only causing him further confliction about his sexuality, and he certainly wasn't having children anytime soon. Death, it seemed, was the item on the agenda lingering closest.

Phil's life had once been so mundane that he had begged for adventure and now the melodrama was too close to home. He wanted to run and never look about. He wanted to forget that Dan existed and run: make a new life for himself.

He couldn't. He couldn't forget Dan. If the man himself wasn't so imprinted in his brain then the screams would be. Whilst they were only trying to deter Phil, showing the consequences of his actions, it only spurred him on.

He couldn't let this continue.

His feet, which had been planted to the floor, inched forward, barely lifting off of the ground. Each step burned the muscles in his legs, the adrenaline pumping the same signal in his brain- fight or flight, fight or flight. He fought.

Charlotte pressed the button again, the setting one higher than the last and Dan's scream tore through the silence once again. Phil ignored it. Phil ignored it as it pierced his eardrums and scarred his skin. Phil ignored it.

'Stop it.' He hissed, his mouth so close to her ear that he was sure she could hear over the terror. She didn't answer, only smiled; she held the power.

'Stop.' An order, one that went unfulfilled.

'I said stop!' He screamed, the shout burning rageful over the screaming. Trembling in his rage, he shoved her against the wall, his fingers digging into her shoulders; nails digging into skin and flesh bruising flesh. With the little conscience Dan had left, he fumbled forwards and grabbed the remote with quivering fingers.

Phil was blind-sighted, the corners of his vision shading red and his nails pressing further into her skin until he drew red from there too. She hissed in pain and tried to shake herself free but to no avail. Phil was high on adrenaline and he wasn't coming down. He could barely breathe, each lungful of air heavy and important, filling him with another ounce of rage.

'Please, stop! Let me go!' He hadn't heard her terror before but now he did. It was as if he had been given back her youth, her blue eyes wide and terrified whilst her screams matched Dan's. No one entered the room. Screaming, most obviously, was nothing out of place.

He didn't realise either when his fist collided with her skull with a thickened crack. She collapsed, quickly unconscious under the pressure that Phil had never believed he was capable of. He turned with wide-eyed as his trembles moved from terror to fear and sobs returned to his throat. In the corner, huddled inwards like a snail trying to retract into its shell, was Dan. Tears lined his cheeks like the frame of a painting; if it were not for the sadness of it, Phil would have revelled in its beauty.

They stared as it dawned upon both of them, slow and foreboding, they had just relieved themselves of all options. They had one: run. And, suddenly it was as if they had ruined everything.

'Dan,' he stumbled across the floor to where the Neko hid himself, 'Dan, I'm so sorry.' Phil collapsed to his knees, ignoring the sharp sting of the harsh floor on his bone, and gathered Dan into his arms. If Dan didn't want it, he made no visible signs of struggle, sinking into the safety of Phil's warmth. 'I'm so sorry.' He repeated. It was his fault. He blamed himself. It was his fault.

Dan shook his head.

'I'm sorry.' Phil sobbed, the tears finally flowing from his eyes, glistening waterfalls down pale cheeks.

Dan looked up, his brown eyes wide with fear. He didn't speak but pointed to the harness around his neck with visible franticness. 'Oh god, I'm so sorry.' Phil apologised again, the tears running so fast that his quaking fingers could barely undo the clasp that stuck it together. He couldn't do it. The key! Fumbling over the floor, he searched the collapsed body, too afraid to check her state but frantically taking the key from her wrist. Languidly, his energy depleting quickly, he made it back to Dan, finding the lock and pushing the key in and opening it with a loud, booming click.

Dan choked and wheezed out a harsh cough as his silent hands grabbed at his bare throat as if to put it back. 'Dan, we have to go.' Phil panted, the adrenaline still pumping strongly through his veins- refusing to let him forget about their situation and stay still. Refusing him to help.

Dan still couldn't speak, his mouth sealed shut even when it opened to let out more screams. He nodded, the change barely susceptible behind the water. Phil found his feet and held out his hand for Dan, ignoring how their shaking hands remained clasped even when they stood. It was for their own sanity; they would not split again.

Phil made his way to the door but a tugging arm stopped him in his tracks. Dan, with fierce determination, clawed his hands, trying to indicate something. Phil almost wanted to laugh at the silliness of the action until he finally understood.

'Dan, you can't do that.' Dan's eyebrows furrowed as he returned with a defiant nod: a silent, 'I can'.

'Don't.' He shook his head.

'It's not the only option.' He shook his head again.

'You're going to do it anyway, aren't you?' A nod.

Phil let go of the hand and watched as Dan took a step back, the fear masked by passion as he screwed his eyes tight and let the change take over. Phil understood why he wanted to. A cat was much easier to sneak out than a hybrid-human but seeing the change made Phil wanted to gag. He could see each bone crack and the wincing of Dan's withered form. It took a minute for him to change fully, the pain making the process long and arduous. They were running out of time.

Phil hurried to the corner of the room where his cleaning supplies waited, his backpack tucked underneath. 'Dan, I need you to get in this.' Phil couldn't meet the cat's eyes, wishing he could pretend that there wasn't a human behind those midnight eyes.

Dan nodded, as much as a cat could, and slinked towards the open backpack, crawling in and curling up into himself with an odd litheness that human Dan did not possess. Zipping the bag up with a final 'I'm sorry', Phil gently pulled the backpack onto his back and let himself get used to the weight. As he opened the door, he checked for staff and was ecstatic to find it empty, although the small mumble of voices in the background was evident.

With what seemed like practised ease, Phil paced down the corridors- too fast to be caught but slow enough that he would garner suspicious. His usual clumsiness was replaced with the importance of the situation. The weight on his back was a reminder of what he had to do. The plan had to be shifted to accommodate the change in timings and in the overall plan but Phil could do it. All they had to do, for now, was get out of the zoo.

That was it.

But there were too many things that could go wrong.

Phil finally made it to the ground and quickly threw himself in the direction of the staff room and into the toilets before anyone could begin to chatter with him. Suddenly, he found himself regretting his choice to make friends. In the end, it had made no difference to the plan and was only acting as a hindrance to the new one.

He got changed in record speed, opening the bag to let Dan breathe. Phil couldn't hear anything but the muffled voices on the other side of the door and the ragged breathing of the cat in the bag. Phil didn't want to think about how afraid Dan was, right now. Once the shock wore off them both, he was sure it would settle in.

Zipping the bag back up, Phil settled it on his back once again and ran. This time he ran. There was no time for hesitation and no one would have the chance to stop him. Within the minute, he was out of the gate and within another five he was at his apartment block. He could hear Dan's whimpers from behind him and he was sure the jostling was not helping but he would be let out soon.

All of it would be okay soon.

Phil opened the door with fumbling hands and fell up the stairs until he was at his door again; another key in the lock and he was inside, his breath ragged and his hair stuck by sweat to his forehead. The backpack almost fell off as Phil brought it out to his stomach and unzipped it, letting the cat poke it's head out and stare, wide-eyed at the familiar scenery around them.

'I'm sure you remember where your room is. Go and rest, turn back if you want to. I've got a lot to sort out.' Without any indication as to his understanding, Dan left, slipping easily into his old room, the door left open without the ability to shut it, the light flooding up to Phil's feet.

With a groan, Phil stumbled to the sofa and collapsed, his legs weak and his eyes still watering. It was setting in. It was all setting in. 'What have I done?' He whispered to himself, his head landing in his hands, his leg bouncing up and down sporadically- a chaotic rhythm echoing throughout the apartment. 'What have I done?' He repeated, finding that the self-deprecation did little to help.

Leaning back and letting his head hit the backrest of the sofa, he let himself drift in and out, wishing it to all be a dream. That he would wake up, back in his mum's house, aged eighteen, before this had all happened. This was just a stupid dream, yes, a dream.

It wasn't a dream.

Phil hadn't realised his eyes were shut until they flung open in shock at the gentle hand shaking his shoulder. 'Phil?' It was Dan, his voice so broken that he could barely utter the words. His first words in so long.

'Dan! Are you okay?' He panicked, forgetting that he had fallen asleep on the sofa and that his back was torturing him and placing the back of his hand to Dan's forehead to check for a temperature and searching his body for any signs of harm.

There were too many to count.

Dan shrugged. It was the best response he could muster and Phil sighed, the energy slipping out of him just as his conscious was. 'What are we going to do?' Dan whispered and although he was standing and Phil was sitting, he was barely taller, their eyes meeting easily.

'We have to leave.' Phil's face fell, it only dawning upon him as he spoke. 'They know it was me who got you out of there. They have my records so they can stop me from travelling. We have to get out of here as quickly as possible. I'll sort the rest out later.' The plan was formed as he spoke, running on impulse and not logic. There was no time to think things through now. The shock, although wearing off, was still there. Still pushing him onwards. It was the only thing pushing him onwards.

'Where are we going to go?' Dan spoke slowly, as if each word was harder than the last, coughing at intervals to clear his hoarse throat. Phil understood the toll that his throat had just gone through and didn't mention it. It would heal itself soon.

Phil paused for a second, thinking over Dan's question. Where could they go? No one would take a Neko in. No friend was close enough to Phil to save him. But, he had more than just friends. 'My mum, she lives a state over, we can get the bus there. She'll help, I'm sure of it.' Dan nodded and smiled so wanly that Phil almost didn't notice it. But he saw something else, something he had wanted to beg for only hours before.

The hope in his eyes, those midnight eyes, were back.

word count: 5024

published: 14.12.17