"Chay, have you touched down yet?"

Porchay, who was busy balancing his shoulder bag, trunks, and handphone with two hands, needed a minute to answer his hia question. "Yeah, yeah, just arrived."

"Good, good. Don't forget to get your baggage, all of them. Big is coming to get you."

Porchay rolled his eyes. One year of freedom and coming back to this again. So not fair. "Or, I can just get a taxi."

"No. Absolutely not." There is a stern undeniable colour in Porsche's voice that made Porchay draw a sigh.

"Who?" Macau asked.

"Hia Porsche."

Macau laughed. "We are 19 already but still they treat us like newly hatched chicks."

"Speaking of treating us like chicks," Porchay pointed to a direction after he hit Macau in the chest. There, in all of his, leather jacket and black sunglasses, looking expensive with at least ten people surrounding him, glory, stood Vegas, who was all smiles when he saw Macau. Now it was Macau turned to grumble. "At least my brother isn't here personally."

"But look what your brother sends you," Macau said pointedly. Big brought at least a dozen men with him, all wearing suits. The cringe. Porchay wished someone just shot him now and been done with it.

"Khun Porchay," Big bowed him and the rest followed suit, making people turn their heads. 'God, the shoot, please', Chay prayed silently. But he knew they were only doing their job so he just smiled, nodded, and walked away to where Macau was. In no time, someone already got their hands on his belongings, leaving him empty-handed.

He looked at Macau's state, which was being held hostage in Vegas' embrace and cheek kisses. Definitely worse than him, at the moment. Vegas looked at Macau lovingly before looking at Chay who walked to them closer.

"You got something for me, Home Boy?" he asked in fluent English, giving Chay one of his hugs. His face was still smiling. Vegas chose an easygoing persona, it suited him, really. No one knew he was a maniac killer if Chay presented them with this view. Chay nodded. "Yeah, for P'Pete too. I'll deliver them later." Vegas smiled at him again. "Hurry, Pete misses you."

To know how fucked up Khun Vegas Theerapanyakun was, one only needs to know how he and Pete ended up being lovers. That, and what 'activities' they chose as 'bedroom extracurricular'. He and Macau accidentally found out about that one and were still unable to scrap it out of their minds. 

Who would've thought that sweet Pete liked that kind of stuff.

Chay smiled. "I'll try. But I think Hia will lock me in a room and throw away the key for at least a week." Vegas laughed, "So true. I guess me with this one too."

Macau shoved his older brother. "No way! I want to go have fun."

"We'll see, we'll see." But it looked like Vegas was not the one to be worried about in this stuff. He was cool with them boys going out to clubs, drinking, smoking, and else, even when they were 17. His only rule was: safety first, safety then, safety always. That was why they were only able to go to clubs owned by family. But that didn't matter much as they were one of the best, most popular, packed-jammed clubs in Thailand.

The rules hadn't change when they were in London. They got at least four shadow bodyguards that Vegas sent and four more that Kinn and his brother sent. Half acted as students like them. How did he know? Macau was great at spotting them, he was used to them. Chay can't protest as they never bothered or restricted his movements.

But he was hyper-aware of them. It was like they took a bit of chunks of fun that Chay had of being free. Yes, he could do whatever he wanted and got away with it, but he was never really free.

One really crazy night, he even hallucinated that the guy was there, watching him dancing from the deck above, in all black like an angel of death, while sipping his drink. They stared at each other, not breaking it for God knows how long. He was so real, it was insane.

But it must be the alcohol talking as when he talked to Macau for just 3 seconds, that guy was nowhere to be found.

"Oh, come on, Hia! We're not kids anymore!" Macau whined harder, making Chay come back to earth.

"Cau, you can be fifty and you are still a kid to me. Besides Pete will kill me if I let you both loose in the first week you got here."

Macau gave Vegas a dirty look, but his brother just walked away. Cau sometimes 'loathed' that Pete loved him so much like a real brother. He followed him after waving goodbye to Chay.

"Just tell me how big it is," he said to Big.

"How big what, Khun Chay?" Big gave his best 'I don't know what you mean' look.

"We have Tankhun Theerapanyakun in the house. So spare me the misery and just spill it. How big is it?"

Big raised a smile. "On a scale of 1 to 10," he paused, "It's a 12 at least."

Chay drew a heavy breath. He dreaded coming home.

'But at least HE isn't at the house'.

Chay's face became darker when his brain recalled that person again. Just how many times already since his feet touched Thailand? He wanted to ask Big, but afraid Big might say something to that person. After all, Big was that person's right hand.

"Are you off duty, P'Big? I thought P'Arm or P'Pol would fetch me," he tried to ask casually.

Big stayed silent for a while. Chay tried to decipher that little friendly smile on Big's face but failed miserably. He just looked normal. More polite, but normal. "Khun Kim is in Pattaya and he said he doesn't need my service at the moment. So Khun Porsche asked me and I said yes, Khun Chay." That made sense since Big is the best bodyguard at the main house at the moment.

Chay's heart rejoiced loudly. Pattaya was at least two two-hour drive away. He also has his condo, hates to be in the main house, and has absolutely no reason to see Chay.

Chay thought that guy might even have forgotten about his existence. One year and not even a single word from him. Chay thought that person must have moved on to another 'project'.

Strangely, that thought made his eyes feel hot and teary. And somebody was squeezing his heart.

'No, no, no, Porchay Pichaya Kittisawad! You have made a huge improvement in moving on for the past year, don't go back to that!'

Chay shook his head a little to gain back clarity. This was insane. Just being in the same country as that guy can make him feel like this.

Hate was indeed a strong emotion. Chay wondered when he could step into the ignorant level.

"Khun Chay ...," Big called him. He looked up to the older guy who had opened the car window for him.

"Stop with that Khun stuff!" he asked, "It's annoying." It was true. He wasn't anybody's young master.

"Yes, Khun Chay," the older answered.

Tck. Useless act, really.

***
By the time Chay's feet entered the main house, suddenly there were loud noises everywhere. There were crackers, so many balloons, loud music, his name and face were everywhere, and a huge cake fit for at least twenty-five people until they threw up the rainbow-colored cream. Khun was crying when he hugged Chay in a tight embrace, ignoring Porche's protest.

"Oh my Chay, how I miss you so much. I still can't believe a certain someone agreeing to send you to a faraway country," he gave Porsce an evil stare.

"It's for his best," Porsche defended himself.

Tankhun gave him a disapproving noise. Kinn gave him a stern look, so he got back to monopolizing Chay again and ignored Porsche.

Chay could only give a weak smile to all of this absurd situation. But he knew he only had to play along to Tankhun to make it easier and just get it done with. So he cut the cake, sang along, ate and drank whatever was fed to him, and agreed to participate in movie nights. He was so exhausted after all that, he couldn't seem to get his eyes opened and slept on the sofa next to the still-singing Tankhun.
***

When he opened his eyes, it was already morning. He was in his bed in his room in the main house. He stared at the ceiling for a while and then a little cough caught his attention. Porsche was sitting on a chair beside his bed with a smile on his face.

"Hia," he greeted. "How long have you been here?"

"A while."

Chay doubted that. Porsche still wore the same shirt as last night and from the state of his eyes, it seemed Porsche pulled an all-nighter.

"How are you, Porchay Kittisawad?"

It was a simple question, but Chay knew the answer that his brother was looking for wasn't 'Fine, and you?'.

So Chay tilted his head. "Better," he answered, didn't want to lie but also didn't want to give his brother an elaborate answer. He was sure the psychiatrist that the family hired had already given his brother and Kinn the report. Considering all the madness, he was better than a year ago. At least no nightmare was haunting him again.

Porsche gave him a small smile and a nod. "He's not here," he said again. Chay instantly knew who he meant, even without giving him a name. "Kinn told him to manage the east coast. We got new clubs and a hotel there. Just so you know."

Chay nodded. He didn't know what to do with this information.

"Do you want to see Mom?"

Did he? Mom. The concept itself seemed so foreign to him. For all of his life, there was only him and Porsche. There was no bond between him and that woman. The only connection was the woman's face was the same as the woman in his family portrait. That was it.

"I think later, Hia." There's a hint of disappointment in Porsche's face, it wasn't going unnoticed by Chay. "I think I still have jet lag. I want to sleep all day if that's ok."

Porsche nodded his head to that. "I'll send breakfast to your room then. Just rest, Chay," he said, and after kissing Chay on the forehead, he left, leaving Chay with all kinds of thoughts.

Particularly about him.