Chat between pandaexpress (Hong Kong) and smol fry (Iceland)

smol fry: Hi good morning

pandaexpress: hey how u doin

smol fry: I'm great :) wbu??

pandaexpress: im fine 👌 how was ur day

smol fry: It was nothing special really, it was kinda boring you probably wouldn't care

pandaexpress:

smol fry: LMAO

smol fry: Took Hana for a walk, practiced violin for a bit, and now I'm talking to my favorite person in the entire world

pandaexpress: who would that be??

smol fry: Sealand

pandaexpress: JSISVS LMAO

pandaexpress: uhh

pandaexpress: hows the family??

smol fry: Great, thanks for asking

smol fry: They're watching Mama Mia right now

smol fry: They all say hi

pandaexpress: lmao tell them i say hi back

smol fry: Finland asks when you're coming home for dinner

pandaexpress: whenever im invited

smol fry: He says he didn't fucking give you that spare key just for you to say "I'm coming when you invite me over"

smol fry: He says, and I quote: "Pop that shit into the keyhole, turn the motherfucker around, open the door and sit your ass down onto the couch whenever the fuck you want to, you don't fucking need permission you bitch this is your house too"

pandaexpress: LMFAO

pandaexpress: maybe next week then

smol fry: hdjsishs

smol fry: Hbu??

pandaexpress: family?? they're good, although it's kinda fucked around here

smol fry: Russia??

pandaexpress: yeah istg

pandaexpress: you can come home for dinner or lunch whenever you want too btw

pandaexpress: i mean u don't need my permission at all just do whatever u want

pandaexpress: cant give you a spare key because russia knocked down the door

smol fry: LMFHSODBS I'LL JUST SCREAM REALLY LOUDLY TO LET YOU KNOW I ARRIVED

pandaexpress: jwjsishsis

smol fry: Alright so

smol fry: Who's gonna ask?

pandaexpress: i asked last time

smol fry: Dammit

smol fry: I hate doing this

pandaexpress: lmao why

smol fry: Idk ig I'm embarrassed easily

pandaexpress: that's true tho but

pandaexpress: i like it when u ask, go ahead please idc about your feelings

smol fry: FUCK

smol fry: Ok fine

smol fry: Do you want to go on a date with me??

pandaexpress: no

pandaexpress: ask me again

smol fry: FU

smol fry: 💕💞💜💙💚💓💟💞💝💛HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY ILYSM WANNA GO OUT ON A DATE BBY 😘😘😍😍😍💞🌹💕💓❤️

smol fry:

pandaexpress: LFNKDJDOHSISBMGS

pandaexpress: no

smol fry:

smol fry: Ok anyway ive been planning some things out since december

smol fry: Would you rather go to a restaurant or have a picnic??

pandaexpress: idk you choose

smol fry: Fuck ummm

smol fry: Picnic, I don't want to be close to other people being romantic and shit

pandaexpress: wise decision

smol fry: We could go see a movie too if you want

smol fry: But tbh none of the movies that are out rn sound appealing so

pandaexpress: so just a picnic or anything else you'd like to do??

smol fry: Tbh not really, what about you??

pandaexpress: just a picnic is fine

smol fry: You sure??

pandaexpress: ye

smol fry: Is there literally nothing you want to do??

pandaexpress: you already chose what we're going to do and thats fine

smol fry: DON'T GIVE ME THAT BULLSHIT, WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO

pandaexpress: WHATEVER YOU WANT TO DO IM HAPPY AS LONG AS IM WITH YOU

smol fry:

pandaexpress:

smol fry:

pandaexpress:

smol fry:

pandaexpress:

smol fry:

pandaexpress:

smol fry: Really tho, what do you wanna do??

pandaexpress: i have no idea i just wanna spend time with you

smol fry:

pandaexpress:

smol fry: OK SERIOUSLY

pandaexpress: just a picnic is fine lmao

pandaexpress: we gotta make it really really special tho 👀 lets at least not be mediocre in the only thing we gonna do

smol fry: How about

smol fry: A picnic under the northern lights??

pandaexpress: omfg

pandaexpress: it's really fucking cold out there tho???

smol fry: Yeah that's the point, so we can keep each other warm while eating

pandaexpress: THAT'S SO GAY

pandaexpress: LETS DO IT

smol fry: OKOK LETS MAKE A LIST OF THINGS WE NEED I'LL STARY

smol fry: *START

smol fry: HEART SHAPED TUNA SANDWICHES

pandaexpress: RAMEN

smol fry: LICORICE

pandaexpress: CAKE

smol fry: SODA

pandaexpress: HOT CHOCOLATE IN A THERMOS

smol fry: MARSHMALLOWS

pandaexpress: PIZZA

smol fry: THATS ENOUGH WE'RE GONNA DIE SHSLDHS

pandaexpress: OK SO WHAT'S THE PLAN

smol fry: WE GET THE STUFF, BUT FIRST CHECK IF YOU CAN USE THE PRESIDENTIAL PLANE TODAY BECAUSE WE REALLY NEED TO BE SUPER SPEEDY

pandaexpress: NOBODY ELSE IS GONNA USE IT TODAY IM GOOD

smol fry: OK GREAT FLY HERE AND I'LL MEET YOU AT THE AIRPORT, IF YOU'RE ALLOWED TO, TAKE THE FOOD OTHERWISE WE CAN JUST BUY IT IN REYKJAVIK

smol fry: WE'LL JUST CHILL FOR A WHILE UNTIL IT GETS DARK ENOUGH FOR THE NORTHERN LIGHTS

smol fry: I'll bring some flashlights because it gets really dark :0

pandaexpress: ooo ty

smol fry: OKOKOSJSOSBS I'LL GET MY PART OF THE FOOD YOU GET YOUR PART AND I'LL SEE YOU IN A WHILE ❤️❤️❤️ TELL ME WHEN YOU GET ON THE PLANE

pandaexpress: HDUSKS YES I WILL SEE YA IN A WHILE ❤️❤️💕💞💕❤️

(4 hours later)

pandaexpress: ICELAND IM ON THE PLANE AND I GOT ALL THE STUFF

smol fry: THAT'S GREAT IM ALMOST DONE WITH MY PART

smol fry: TAKE A NAP SO YOU CAN BE AWAKE FOR LONGER

pandaexpress: YES IM SO FUCKING EXHAUSTED

pandaexpress: btw instead of eating pizza at the picnic how about we buy one at your house and watch a movie??

pandaexpress: i dont like cold pizza
:(

smol fry: JSVSIS THAT'S A GREAT IDEA I'LL CHOOSE THE MOVIE AND SET UP THE TV IN MY ROOM

smol fry: NOW I CAN FINALLY USE THOSE FUCKING HUGE BLANKETS FINLAND GOT ME AT IKEA

smol fry: IM SO EXCITED HOLY SHIT

smol fry: Hong Kong I forgot your Netflix password

smol fry: Are you there??

smol fry: Ok I'm assuming you fell asleep.... with your phone on since you're seeing these messages

smol fry: Or you died

smol fry: Anyway tell me when you're about to land so I can zoom to the airport ❤️❤️

(5 hours later)

pandaexpress: ICELAND IM ABOUT TO LAND SORRY I DIDNT REPLY I WAS WATCHING FRIENDS

smol fry: JSIDVS9SBSI THATS FINE OK IM RUSHING TO THE AIRPORT

smol fry: Also, Liechtenstein called an hour ago, she said she's going to throw a Valentine's Day party for all her friends at her house tomorrow and she's making cake

smol fry: The only reason it's tomorrow is because she knows we're going on a date today

pandaexpress: can i say something just once and never again??

smol fry: Um ok

pandaexpress: uwu

smol fry:

smol fry: WHOARE YOU

pandaexpress: DHSOSBS IM LANDING

pandaexpress: I CANT SEE THE BEES CHANTING "THINKING BEE"

smol fry: STOP IM GONNA PEE BSBSKSBSJS

pandaexpress: it wasn't even funny

pandaexpress: control yourself

smol fry: Alright

(16 minutes later)

pandaexpress: iceland u motherfucker where tf are you

smol fry: Right here???

pandaexpress: HOW SPECIFIC

smol fry: IM AT THE BAGGY CONVEYOR BELT THING

pandaexpress: WHAT

smol fry: IDK WHAT IT'S CALLED IN ENGLISH IM SO SORRY

pandaexpress: DRAW IT

smol fry:

pandaexpress:

pandaexpress: this???

smol fry: That doesn't sound right 👀

pandaexpress: 👀thats what its called man idk what to tell u

smol fry: Well ok then I'm near that

pandaexpress: ok well the thing is im not, im kinda lost tbh

smol fry: I DONT UNDERSTAND YOU'VE BEEN COMING TO THIS AIRPORT FOR THE LAST 3 YEARS

pandaexpress: YEAH BUT I NEVER HAD TO USE THE BATHROOM HERE BEFORE

pandaexpress: ASKED FOR DIRECTIONS AND NOW IM LOST AND I HAVE TO PEE

smol fry: PEOPLE WOULD'VE EXPECTED THIS FROM ME, BUT NOT FROM YOU HONG KONG, NOT FROM YOU

pandaexpress: WHAT IF WE NEVER SEE EACH OTHER AGAIN AND I END UP LIVING HERE UNTIL I DIE

smol fry: STOP FUCKING AROUND AND ASK PEOPLE FOR DIRECTIONS

pandaexpress: ok fine

(14 minutes later)

smol fry: SO??

pandaexpress: nobody speaks any of the languages i speak

smol fry: Omg

smol fry: Do you want me to scream really loudly??

pandaexpress: lmao sure

pandaexpress: OH GOD I DIDNT THINK YOUD ACTUALLY DO IT

smol fry: DID YOU ACTUALLY HEAR IT??

pandaexpress: IT WAS EITHER REALLY LOUD OR IM AN IDIOT AND IM CLOSER THAN I THOUGHT

smol fry: Idk

smol fry: You know what, you're gonna have to meet me outside because I'm being dragged out by security

pandaexpress: I CAN SEE YOU FROM WHERE IM STANDING LMFAAAOO

pandaexpress: look behind u and say hi to the camera

smol fry: Hong Kong you massive cunt

(47 minutes later)

pandaexpress: iceland im so tired

smol fry: Where the fuck are you 👀 We're in the same house why are you texting me

pandaexpress: bathroom

smol fry:

pandaexpress: myeyes are closing

smol fry: I could say something racist, but I'll save it for literally any other day

smol fry: If you want we can start leaving for the airport again and maybe take a walk while we wait for it to get dark??

smol fry: What was that noise lol

smol fry: Did you hear it??

smol fry: Hong Kong

smol fry: Was that noise you lmao

smol fry: Did you fall asleep

smol fry: HONG KONG

smol fry: HONG KONG IM GOING IN YOUR BETTER NOT BE PASSED OUT ON THE FLOOR

smol fry: HONG KONG YOU'RE PASSED OUT ON THE FLOOR

smol fry: FUCK

smol fry: NWHSL

Chat between shittysibling (Norway) and babybrother (Iceland)

babybrother: NORWAY WHERE ARE YOU I NEED YOUR HELP

shittysibling: Little brother, I would be more than glad to help you out, but I've been stuck in an elevator for about 3 hours and can't get out

babybrother: Wouldn't you have terrible signal in there??

shittysibling: The elevator strangely has WiFi

babybrother: Oh, that's rather fortunate

shittysibling: Yeah, I think so too. I'm glad we can agree on this

shittysibling: Would you mind telling me what happened, by the way? Judging by our rather calm conversation, the issue does not seem so serious

babybrother: Hong Kong passed out while on the toilet and smashed his face against the floor tile

shittysibling: lololol

babybrother: SHUT UP HE COULD BE DEAD

babybrother: Also, why are you in an elevator???

shittysibling: Why don't you ask Denmark??

babybrother: 👀

Chat between dickmark (take a wild guess) and iCEMAN (take another wild guess)

iCEMAN: Hii

dickmark: hEy

iCEMAN: Why is Norway stuck in an elevator??

dickmark: what did he tell you👀

iCEMAN: He told me to ask you

dickmark: OK WELL FIRST OF ALL THIS WAS ALL HIS FAULT I TOLD HIM THE ELEVATOR WAS PLAYING THAT SONG HE LIKES AND HE WAS LIKE "WOW REALLY??" AND WE WERE ALREADY LATE TO THE MOVIE SO I TOLD HIM TO GO IN QUICK AND LISTEN AND HE DID BUT THEN THE ELEVATOR STARTED CLOSING AND NOW WE'RE STUCK

iCEMAN: LMAO ARE YOU BOTH STUCK IN THE ELEVATOR TOGETHER???

dickmark: 😟 ICEY COME HELP US YOU BITCH

iCEMAN: I can't, I think Hong Kong died

iCEMAN: Fell off the toilet

dickmark: BSOSHS8SJS

iCEMAN: Ok I'm gonna go talk to Norway again, bye :)

dickmark: ok bye :)

Chat between shittysibling and babybrother

babybrother: He says it's your fault

babybrother: And then gave me an excuse that made 0 sense

shittysibling: Would you like to hear the truth??

babybrother: I honestly don't care

shittysibling: We were going to see see a movie at the mall today. While getting there, we passed by an elevator, which was open and unoccupied. Denmark said he heard a song I "like" (which turned out to be that M&Ms rap) coming from the elevator's speakers. So naturally, I walk near the door and pop my head in to give the song a quick listen, and then proceed to head towards our destination. But of course, he, being the absolute useless piece of putrid crap he is, pushed me into the elevator shouting "h URRY UP NORWAY WE'RE GONNA BE LATE". He pushed me so hard, that I fell backwards, pulling him along with me as I smashed my back against the strangely comfortable rugged floor inside the elevator. The doors closed and crushed Denmark's legs a bit, but he pulled them in lol. He got up, panicked, pressed literally every single button, and now we're stuck here. Denmark doesn't want to call the firefighters because he's embarrassed, and I don't want to use my magic to open it up because this is a lesson he must learn. So we're stuck here until he admits it's actually his fault, and then I'll open the door.

babybrother: You're both going to be there for a while then, I'll leave you two alone now

shittysibling: I'm having a terrible day so far...... Do you know what would make it better??

babybrother: NO I DONT GOODBYE

shittysibling: :(

Chat between bestmom (Finland) and hardwater (Iceland)

hardwater: FINLAND I NEED HELP WITH SOMETHING PLEASE ANSWER

hardwater: HELLO???

hardwater: PLEASE ANSWER ITS VERY URGENT WHERE ARE YOU???

hardwater: FUCK

Chat between Sweden (Sweden) and Iceland (Iceland)

Iceland: SWEDEN I NEED HELP ARE YOU IN TOWN OR IN A SITUATION IN WHICH YOU CAN AT LEAST COME HOME QUICKLY????

Iceland: ARE YOU AT A STRIP CLUB OR SOMETHING??? THATS OK DONT BE SHY

Iceland: FUCK SJDIS

[Incoming call..... Unknown number]

Iceland: Hello??

????: ICELAND THANK FUCKING GOD

Iceland: Finland?? Why are you calling me?? I just texted you??

Finland: Oh yeah?? Huh, what a coincidence

Finland: Uhh, it's a long story

Iceland: What's with all those sirens in the background?? You in the movies with Sweden???

Finland: No, me and Sweden are helping Estonia break out of prison

Iceland:

Iceland: I'm not surprised

Finland: I'M NOT DOING THIS JUST TO GET A REACTION OUT OF YOU, I DONT GIVE A SHIT IF YOU'RE SURPRISED OR NOT

Iceland: WELL DAMN

Iceland: YOU WEREN'T LIKE THIS BEFORE, WHAT HAPPENED??

Finland: This is what happens when you exaggerate a character for laughs and then actually forget the character isn't originally like that at all, and then a-

Iceland: I can feel something inside me shattering, please stop

Finland: ANYWAY, I'M CALLING YOU TO LET YOU KNOW WE'RE FUGITIVES NOW AND WE'RE GONNA BE HIDING IN MEXICO FOR A FEW WEEKS, I'LL GO UNDER THE NAME OF "PANCHO DEL SOL", SWEDEN WILL BE "SEÑOR GAFAS" AND ESTONIA WILL BE "GUADALUPE ROSAS" SO IF YOU DECIDE TO CALL US, PLEASE USE THOSE NAMES

Iceland: FINLAND THIS IS RIDICULOUS

Finland: Who's Finland?

Iceland: PANCHO THIS IS RIDICULOUS

Iceland: THINK ABOUT SEÑOR GAFAS! HOW'S HE TAKING ALL THIS??

Finland: He's not doing so good.... But I'm doing this for the wellbeing of all of us, Icey..... :)

Iceland: DON'T GIVE ME THAT BULLSHIT

Finland: You kNOW WHAT I WILL GIVE YOU THAT BULLSHIT, I'M FEEDING YOU THE BULLSHIT IN A LITTLE SPOON, OPEN UP- HERE COMES THE BULLSHIT PLANE VyOOOOMMM

Iceland: YOU KNOW WHAT?? BYE. WHOSE PHONE IS THAT ANYWAY??

Finland: IT'S GUADALUPE'S, ADIOS

[Call ended]

Chat between annoyingshit (Sealand) and dumbstupid (Iceland)

dumbstupid: Are you near home???

annoyingshit: Nope! Sorry :D

annoyingshit: I'm in the forest hunting for a yeti with WY and Seborga

annoyingshit: Did something happen ?? I can run home if you want :0

dumbstupid: Yeah Hong Kong died

annoyingshit: HOLY HECKY IM GOING BACK HOME STAY RIGHT THERE I LEARNED CPR DURING SUMMER CAMP

dumbstupid: Aw really?? That's cool, I should've stayed

dumbstupid: Oh wait nvm he's waking up

annoyingshit: ARE YOU SURE???

dumbstupid: I'm not

annoyingshit: Do you still want help???

dumbstupid: Nope bye

annoyingshit: Oh ok bf5dhhhnm

dumbstupid: Um 👀

Chat between pandaexpress and smol fry

pandaexpress: im woke

pandaexpress: where are you

smol fry: Hii ❤️

smol fry: I went to buy the pizza, we ain't going nowhere we're having the picnic at home

pandaexpress: oh

pandaexpress: im ok tho

smol fry: Idc you're tired af and you literally passed out in the bathroom, we staying home

pandaexpress: im sorry about that i didnt sleep on the trip here

pandaexpress: i knew how much u wanted to go on that picnic and i fucked it up km really sorry

smol fry: Hong Kong, I don't give a shit about where we're going, if it's a restaurant, a picnic under some stupid sky lights, or dumpster diving behind a Chuck E Cheese's. I just want to spend this day with you :) and I really care about you because ily so I want you to take a nap, rest well, and then we'll sit down on my bed, wrapped in blankets next to each other, and watch a nice movie, while we eat heart shaped tuna sandwiches, pizza, marshmallows and all that, and then go to sleep together and wake up at 4pm the next day

pandaexpress:

smol fry:

smol fry: Why didn't you sleep tho??

pandaexpress: i was making you a playlist on youtube

pandaexpress: i lied, i wasnt watching friends

pandaexpress: sorry, it was supposed to be a surprise

smol fry: :0 Don't apologize, that's great! Tysm😄💖💗💞💟

pandaexpress: yw 💕💕

smol fry: You probably added at least 6 Filthy Frank videos in yours, didn't you??

pandaexpress: dammit you know me so well

smol fry: Lol

smol fry: Tbh I also made you a playlist

pandaexpress: ooo

pandaexpress: we can watch them at the picnic, because tbh i cant remember my netflix password either

smol fry: Oof

smol fry: I left you some water on the coffee table, drink that shit up and stay hydrated. I also left you some chocolate to eat :)

pandaexpress: ty

pandaexpress: iceland

smol fry: What

pandaexpress: ily💕💓❤️💗💖💝💞💟

smol fry: Ew that's gay

smol fry: Me too 💕❤️❤️💓💝💟💖

Epilogue

Iceland and Hong Kong had the
uwu-est Valentine's day ever: they ate, and fell asleep mid playlist, waking up at 4pm the next day

Norway and Denmark spent the entire day trapped in the elevator, until the firefighters arrived

Nobody pressed any buttons, nor did Denmark accept he was actually at fault

Apparently, they came because the security guard saw them in there with the security camera

Let's just say, when they found out, Norway and Denmark were absolutely horrified because they had no idea there was a camera in the first place

Sweden, Finland and Estonia successfully fled the country and are currently hiding in Mexico City

Not much is known about their current hideout, however, it is known that Sweden opened a food truck and now sells tacos, Finland works at a flower shop selling flowers..... and other stuff.... and Estonia adopted a little Chihuahua called Tamale

Sealand was caught off guard and attacked by a wild yeti. Seborga shouted violently and waved a little white flag in the air, WY shouted as well and recorded the whole situation

The yeti, however, decided to adopt Sealand as a child and name him king of the Yeti kingdom

He humbly accepted, realizing this was as close as he'll ever get to being a country

Author weeps because they're lonely af and has a sharp neck pain after writing this

💜💚💕💞💕💟💚💝

💞❤️💚💞💕❤️💟🌹❤️🌹💞💚💜💓❤️🌹Happy Valentine's day :')  ❤️💕💞💓🌹💟💝💕🌹💕💓💕💕💓💝🌹💟🌹💝💓💕💚💝💜