When the clock striked seven a.m Zemo decided it was time to go. He had spent the night in a state of costant alert, his head was pounding and his legs were slow to respond. He felt so worn out, but he was satisfied and proud of his watch: he didn't leave Bucky throughout his sleep, he looked after him in respectful silence until he saw shy rays of early sun peeking through the blinds. The only thing left was waiting to see which version of the man sleeping on the bed he was going to face: James or the Winter Soldier? He sneaked out of the room and groaned of annoyance once he was out: his ankles were definitely bothered to have to walk after all those hours. Luckily Sam seemed to be still asleep: Zemo really didn't mean to waste time explaining why he spent the night in Bucky's room, and he was pretty sure Sam would have passed out twice before actually giving him space to clarify. He briefly changed into fresh clothes and decided it was a good idea to distract himself by cooking: it had always been a good habit of his, he used to prepare breakfast everyday before his son would leave for school and his wife for work. Staring at the pan he was making the pancakes in he got lost in his own thoughts

Papa papa!

God, words could not express how much he missed that screaming munchkin, the way he would jump onto him and wrap his little arms around his neck, giving him precious kisses on the cheeks. Kids were always so innocent, so unaware of the rotten world around them, and yet they were the first ones to suffer from the consequences of others' actions. His son... he had such vivid eyes, a bright smile that could enlighten any bad day, the bubbliest personality and the jolliest loud voice. He was his son, and the day he died a part of him died with him. No matter how much time would pass by, he'd never forget his lifeless body as he held him and his father in his arm. Some pictures get stuck in your head forever.

-Hey- a voice made him wince out of the blue. When he looked at the frying pan, the pancake was completely burned.

Bucky was standing in the middle of the room, all disoriented with his hair all ruffled: he was pretty much still asleep.

-Goodmorning- Zemo tested the waters carefully. The Winter Soldier wouldn't have said anything without orders, so he assumed the man in front of him had to be James, but he couldn't tell if he was mad at him for the things he did, or if he even remembered at all what had happened. He scraped the black residues of batter and threw them away and served the rest on a white plate: at least he still had a pile of good ones left. It was a meaningless detail, burning those pancakes, but it triggered him more than he could admit: he was good at cooking, his son loved watching him in the kitchen, now he wasn't good at that neither. 

Bucky grabbed a fork and started eating in silence. Zemo was puzzled by his behaviour to say the least, yet he was too afraid to say anyting.

-I remember everything- he didn't take off his eyes from the plate -You don't have to look so worried. It didn't feel lovely...but it's alright. I am not angry with you, I could have injured myself if it wasn't for your idea-

-I am glad to hear that, I was baffled because I doubted you would approve. However I still mean to keep my promise. Unless it's for your personal safety I won't appeal to the codes, ever again-

Bucky offered his right hand to Zemo with a sly expression

-Thank you, I believe you-

The baron leaned but sadly before he could shake his hand Sam rushed in shouting something about the smell of pancakes, complaining about the rumble his hungry stomach was making.

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Bucky shifted to the right to let John pass. The man bumped against his shoulder, shoving him straight to the wall. The voices in his head were kindly suggesting to surround Walker's neck with his metal arm, but the terrible sensation of hollowness spreading around his body prevented him from doing anything reckless. He sealed his mouth shut and watched him and his pet Lemar going after Karli and Sam: he tried to stop him, to talk him into senses, and yet all he received were nasty innuendos. The threath had gotten under his skin: maybe he had a point, he was really endangering his friend just to prove a point, and he couldn't risk Sam's safety because he was too proud to give in. John was right afterall, wasn't he? He was the Winter Soldier, he was not as free as he once believed. Obeying orders was so easy for him, it was second nature, there was no point in denying it: the serum was corrupting him, eroding his organs from the inside, bribing his mind to do the worst things, he couldn't allow more blood to be on his hands. 

Zemo was still hancuffed to the wall, an indecipherable look on his face.

-James?-

-Yeah?- Bucky was tired, he felt a heavy burden on his shoulders. He was supposed to follow those two idiots to avoid a mess, but the strenght was forsaking his muscles and in that moment he just fancied a good rest.

The sokovian directed a good grin in his direction

-Don't pay attention to him, he's an idiot- 

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-I was right, he's definitely an idiot- Zemo groaned of pain when the ice made contact with his temple. His brain was pulsating so badly he couldn't even tolerate the cold cubes wrapped in the cloth Bucky was holding. If Steve's shield had hit him a couple of inches below he could have not survived to tell the tale.

It's vibranium, not fucking aluminium, I care enough for my head to want it to stay attached to my body

Bucky giggled with a look of contempt. He did feel slightly sorry for what had happened to him, but the sight of a very resentful and petty baron was way too funny to keep a straight face. Sam had already stormed out the apartment, after cussing in the air a wide range of insults for John Walker alongside the government. Bucky got to know his friend in the past weeks and he realized he was at least as proud as he was, which meant that he was never going to admit the mistake he had committed by giving up the shield. 

-I can handle it on my own, thanks- Zemo removed the towel from James' hands to put it away, he had enough pity for the day, and even if the level of his pain tolerance was high, he was quite upset at the course the events had taken. 

Bucky sharpened his glance, staring at the baron: they were both sitting on the couch as he had offered his help to treat the cut John gave him hitting with the shield. Even after putting the ice away, his fingers were lingering on the man's forehead: Zemo was quiet, stoic, waiting for the next move, barely breathing, surprised by that unusual kindness.

-Do you think Walker injected the serum to himself?-

-Oh I know he has. That man is shipwrecking and now he's another problem we have to deal with-

Zemo flinched when James' fingertips touched his cut. He meant to scold him, but he was avoiding eye contact.

-Still, you tried to destroy all the vials before he knocked you out-

Bucky had disparate feelings about that gesture. He was glad that most of the batch was now gone, the fact that Zemo tried to prevent the creation of other super soldiers reassured him: if he hated so much the consequences of the serum that meant he wasn't going to use the code words with him ever again. No matter how many times he'd tell he didn't consider him the Winter Soldier any longer: facts were speaking, and Bucky was still responsive to his commands, hence the Soldat hadn't left him just yet. He was afraid Zemo would still hold grudge towards him and secretly hate him for that, but also needed to be sure that he wasn't going to hurt or betray him. Either as James or the Winter Soldier, either because of affection or fear, he was sure Zemo wasn't going to stab him in the back.

-I forgive you- Bucky observed the shift on the man's face as he absorbed the news -for everything. I have no intention of being consumed by revenge, or hate. I don't understand whose side you're on, but I don't see you as a threath. That doesn't mean you always arouse pleasant feelings in me when you're this close, but it's a working in progress, I'll give you that- 

His hand glided from Zemo's cheek to his knee. He enjoyed teasing him in a wimsy way, he could see how stiff his body was and guessing his next reaction was particularly funny.

-Thank you James, I am not convinced I fully deserve your pardon, but I'll gladly take it - the Sokovian played along with a mischievous smirk -Who knows, my sould might even benefit from it-

Bucky took a moment to appreciate Zemo's facial features. His lips were thin and when he spoke they moved with the grace of a lustful snake, his eyes had all the charm and presence to subtly seduce you to do what he wanted, the bridge of his nose and his cheeks, Bucky noticed that for the first time, had the fairest track of brown freckles. He was exceptionally charming, one would never risk to not notice his presence in a room, he was outstanding and charismatic. He could vaguely remember being held tightly by those arms the previous night, but the image in his head was too opaque and faint to be enough: he felt the compelling need to referesh his memory. He wanted to be as conscious as possible while lingering on each of Zemo's details. He slip his arms around his neck and pulled him into an hug.

-James...- the man longed for that contact more than he had realised. He welcomed his touch and let him lay his head on the shoulder. He started running his fingertips through the deep brown hair strands, hoping Bucky woudln't pay attention to his extraordinary fast heartbeat. 

-Don't say anything- he squeezed him harder and hid his face under his neck. Zemo had a strong scent, a bittersweet combination of aftershave and sweat, the warmth of his body had the soothing ability to calm him down. The slow and delicate strokes on his head made him feel safe: no one could do him any harm as long as he was secured between his grip.

-But I have to ask you- Zemo rested his chin on the top of Bucky's head and closed his eyes. He forgot how long it had been since he had some genuine physical contact, the time spent in prison deprived him of any human companionship and his body craved whatever display of sweetness James was willing to show him. The feeling of his breath tickling the skin on the neck was sending imputs of adrenaline to the brain.

-How long do I have before they come?-

Bucky inhaled without a word. He told Ayo Zemo was just a mean to an end, now, he wasn't so sure that's all he was to him.

The only thing he wanted to focus on was the soft touch patting his back.

-I don't know- 

and I wish I knew how to stop them because for some reason I can't get enough of this

-It's okay, I don't blame you for it- Zemo gave him a gentle kiss on the head - I will make sure these moments won't go wasted-