Brett was halfway home before he decided how stupid it was to speed and try to evade Larry. The guy had been at his apartment that night; he knew where Brett lived. Anyway, it didn't look like Larry was even trying to follow him. He'd just seemed puzzled to see Brett at all.

Still, Brett didn't catch his breath until they'd parked and sat for a couple of minutes.

Calista was holding the inhaler, studying it. "I don't get it. Why did he have so many of these?"

Brett shook his head. He hadn't had time to consider it. He was still feeling exposed. He needed to be inside four walls, to feel safe. "Who the hell knows. Let's talk inside."

As they reached the stairs in the apartment building, Brett saw that the police were still in his place. It unsettled him, knowing that they were going through his private things, but then he realized he held the evidence of who else had been there that night. He could clear his name, explain who they should really be looking for.

He started going down the stairs to find someone to tell, but Calista grabbed his arm. He was getting a little tired of that.

"What?" he asked warily. "We have to tell them."

"Tell them what?" she replied, eyes flashing. "That we just stalked a random guy on a hunch and identified him by his backpack? How many people probably have that same bag? And you're ready to prosecute him because of it?" Her face was tight, unnerved. "And what about that inhaler you stole? We're thieves now. How are you going to explain that?"

He had to admit she had a point. He grudgingly followed her upstairs.

Safely behind closed doors, Calista said, "We have to figure out what's in that inhaler."

He examined it. The brand name was Ketalar. Close enough to ketamine. 

"It's ketamine," he told her.

"Then what's in those pills you took the other night? We have to know that before we tell the cops anything. We've got to get our shit together."

"How are we supposed to find out?" he asked. "Do you have some kind of lab in here I don't know about?" 

"We'll find out by taking them," she retorted.

He didn't like the sound of that. Not at all.

"I don't think so. Look what happened the last time I messed with those."

"Last time," she said, "You had no fucking clue what was going on."

"And I still don't."

"That's what I'm here for," she said, patting his arm reassuringly. "I'll be... like your guardian angel. I'll watch over you and make sure nothing goes wrong." There was something he didn't like about her smile. It reminded him of Lauren when she was talking him into doing the thing that had gotten him into this whole mess. Had he learned nothing? Nothing at all?

"Why don't you take them and I'll be your 'guardian angel'?" He looked toward the coffee table, where the baggie was sitting expectantly. They seemed to be watching them. 

Did Lauren know they were taking the wrong thing? 

Of course she did, if Calista was right about her. She knew all along. 

But maybe... maybe she didn't. 

What if she'd been misled?

He stumbled over to the couch and crumpled inward, as though the weight of the world was on his bony shoulders. Why had this become his problem? All he'd done was try to live his life the best he could, and then he met this girl who'd screwed everything up.

He grabbed the baggie and rolled it between his palms. They were so tiny, these itty bitty pills that had led to nothing but misery and demise. He remembered the last time. The bear. The bear that had feasted on his feelings. His shame, his fear, his regrets. He, unbelievably, wished he could face that beast again. In his drugged out haze, it was Lauren who had defeated it. But it was still there, lurking somewhere beneath his surface. In his guts, chewing away at him from the insides. He wanted to track it down, strangle it, murder that demon that haunted him.

But that was crazy, wasn't it?

Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results, that was insane.

He opened the baggie and shook one of the tiny pills into his hand. 

It was a doorway.

Where it would lead, he did not know.

But before he could ponder it any longer, he threw his head back and tossed the pill down his throat, walking through that doorway and into the horrible unknown.