The rain slammed against the windshield aggressively while the window wipers swayed side the side quickly while Trey and I sat in the car in the middle of the crowded road filled with honking cars and cars moving very slowly.

Traffic... I hate it.

Especially at this time because ever since he picked me up from school, he's been yelling at me after he's been told by Latoya that I've been abused by William.

The only thing he would talk about is William and nothing else during thirty minutes in traffic and I can't stand a minute of talking about William. It makes me nervous.

"Next time, maybe you shouldn't be a dumbass and tell an adult what's going on with your life and you wouldn't have been getting abused for three years. Didn't you learn this in Elementary school?! To tell an adult if you're being treated badly?!" Trey continued yelling at me while slamming his fists against the wheel to honk at the car in front of him.

This is how I imagined it would be after they told him why I've gotten suspended.

He's mad and disappointed and I don't think he's ever gonna stop talking about William until he tries to stop William from abusing me.

"I'm gonna call William over and we're gonna end this shit now and he's gonna get a piece of me for abusing my sister!" He slammed the brakes and punched the wheel honking the car in front of him.

He switched to a lane that is clear and less cars and start driving fast until the red light.

"Trey, just please leave it alone. I don't want you to be hurt or be dead and I also don't want to be dea-"

He cut me off, "I don't want you to be hurt! You don't deserve to be treated like this! You don't have to worry about me! I ain't no baby and I can fight and I don't care if I got to jail or not! That nigga will learn not to abuse my little sister!"

Many cars behind us honked at Trey and many if them skipped a lane and drove off quickly to get from behind him.

I looked up and realized that the street lights is now green after waiting a few minutes in front of a red light.

"Go Trey! Stop yelling at me and watch the road! We'll talk about it when we get home!" I yelled pointing at the green light.

He groaned and slammed the gas pedal as the car zoomed through the lane and my seatbelt holding me tight so that I won't jerk forwards.

"Damn Trey! Slow down!" I shouted and slapped his arm.

"Oh shut up. I've been driving since I was fifteen years old. Don't tell me what to do." He mumbled.

"You've been driving since fifteen?! It don't seem like it cause you should know that green means GO and you're also heading towards a school zone and supposed to be driving twenty five miles per hour instead of fifty!"

"And you've been abused ever since twelve and you've known to tell an adult about abuse situations ever since you were in elementary. Maybe you should tell somebody instead of keeping it to yourself!" He snapped back switching the words that came out of my mouth.

Okay really stupid comeback.

"Look, we'll talk about this later." He mumbled and slammed the brakes once we arrived in front of the house.

He put the car in park, yanked his keys out and quickly got out of the car.

As soon as I rushed inside the house, I wiped my soaked shoes on the welcome mat in front of the door and took off my shoes.

Suddenly, I smell a familiar scent of hot chocolate chip cookies that I haven't smelled that in a long time.

"Trey? What are you cooking? It smells good." I grew surprised and sniffed the air some more.

"No. Go in the kitchen." He mumbles as he took his soaked jacket off and toss it on the couch.

I put my backpack down with his jacket and he followed me through the hallways in the big house to the kitchen.

As I walked closer and closer to the kitchen, the chocolate chip smell became stronger and makes my mouth water a little bit following the some of feminine voices in the kitchen.

As I walked to the kitchen my eyes grew wide in surprise of the sight I'm seeing.

Mama and Sabrina standing in front of the oven having a conversation with sizzling hot chocolate chip cookies in front of them on the counter.

My eyes start to form tears, realizing that she's not bald and pale anymore from her chemo appointments and that cancer didn't win the battle against her.

Is this a dream?

She looks so different!

Her hair grew back!

"M-Mama! You're back!" I chirped in excitement as tears ran down my face.

She turned around and noticed me standing beside Trey and smiled very big.

"Come here honey. Give me some sugar." Mama held her arms out for a hug.

I ran into her arms and held her tightly against my body and felt a huge difference from when I last hugged her a few months ago.

Months ago, she was thin as a stick but now she feels more thicker and warmer. Her face and hands are warmer and her embrace is more tight and not weak.

It feels great to be hugging my mom after months of not hearing from her and not seeing her. It feels great to see her alive and smiling and not suffering. I can now see that more years of living with my mom are gonna be added into my life and not cut short.

We let go of each other and she watched me wipe my tears away.

"Wow. You've gotten a little taller." She smiled looking at me up and down.

"And you've gotten big Mama. You look more thicker than the last time I saw you." I chuckled holding both of her warm hands. "And I see that your hair grew back.."

"Yup. You know what that means." She nodded.

"What?!" I chirped.

"I beat cancer for the eighth time!" She exclaimed excitedly.

Mama and I jumped up and down in excitement and Sabrina joined holding a cookie in her mouth.

"I'm so happy for you Mama. You don't understand. I missed your cookies and I miss all the meals you've cooked for us. I miss your hugs and your smile Mama. I missed you so much!" I exclaimed.

"I know and I missed you too. I couldn't wait to get out that hospital and spend some Christmas time with my kids." She reached a hug for Trey and Sabrina to create a group hug.

She let go of us and smiled.

"Now, where's Dylan. Did he cause any trouble?" She went back into the kitchen and I followed her.

He caused trouble by bringing William in...

"We haven't really heard from him. He's never home." Trey sighed and sat on the bar stool in front of the luxurious island counter.

"Man, is he still hanging out with those bad guys? William and Chris?" She grew a worried face and grabbed a few plates out of the cabinet above her.

"Yes and possibly learning the stuff that they're teaching him. Probably teaching him how to treat girls wrong and being a drug dealer.." Trey glanced at me. "I think it's better for him to live at William's place because whenever he comes back home, he brings William with him and things don't turn out right from what I've been told today."

Don't snitch.

I don't get why he's mad at me.

It wasn't my choice to get abused.

Mama watched as Trey gave a death glare at me and grew a confused look on her face.

"What's going on?" She asked as she place a few hot cookies on plates.

"He's been sending William here to throw parties and misbehave and being disrespectful to Ariel in type of ways." He admitted to Mama.

I grew nervous and my legs started to shake.

"W-what do you mean? Why do you let him come over here? You know William is not supposed to be invited over here." Mama grew confused and a disappointed look.

"Whenever I see him, I tell him to leave but later on, he finds his own ways of breaking in here. Mama we'll talk about this later. I don't want you to be disappointed... you just got discharged from the hospital."

"Well Trey, you have to tell me what's going on. I wasn't here for how many months? I wasn't with my children... I don't know what's been going around here." She shrugged.

"It will be better if we tell you another time. I don't want to talk about it at all right now." I walked in the kitchen and grabbed a plate of cookies.

"You know... imma let that slide but when the new year starts, we're not gonna be hiding secrets from each other. We are a family and we're not gonna be having secrets around here." She grabbed a plate of cookies and handed them to Sabrina.

This is another reason why I need this abortion before the new year starts so that I won't be hiding the fact that I'm pregnant from my mom.

"Now, what were the news you were trying to tell me earlier Trey?" Mama looked at Trey.

"I know the news is gonna disappoint you too but it's better than telling you what happened today at Ariel's school." Trey played with his fingers nervously.

"What happened at school Ariel?" Mama looked at me.

I shoved my cookie in my mouth, not wanting to respond.

She smacked her teeth a sighed loudly.

"Someone needs to tell me what's going on now! I want to know!" Mama raised her voice.

"I'll tell you later Mama I promise." I said to her as my voice muffled through the food in my mouth.

"You tell me after he tells me what he's got to say." She told me.

Trey looked uneasy and sat on the dining room chair gathering the thoughts he has in mind.

"Chanel and I are expecting a child and found out that she's four months along.." He said quietly.

My eyes grew wide in shock...

I couldn't believe my ears...I had to put my cookie down to repeat what he said in my head and make sure that I wasn't just hearing things.

Mama's face didn't look so happy.

Her faint eyebrows furrowed and her lips pursed.

"Trey! You are eighteen years old and making babies?! What the hell is wrong with you?!" Mama bursted out.

Trey?

Why did you have to tell her today?

She was all happy until you told her.

She just left the hospital.

You could've waited until another day to tell her.

I feel guilty wondering what she'll do to me if she finds out that I'm pregnant.

I'm younger than Trey so I know I'm gonna be in a worse situation.

"I'm sorry Mama. We'll put it up for adoption once it's born and act like it never happened."

He actually had the balls to tell Mama that they're pregnant and wants to put it up for adoption.

"No. You're gonna take care of that child and raise it to be better than you." She corrected. "You got yourself in this mess and you're gonna learn from your mistakes by taking care of a child and going into college. Good luck with that." She spat.

Trey stayed silent for a moment playing with his fingers.

"I keep telling y'all that having sex before marriage is bad and you can bring yourself into bad situations. You'll make your child's life bad by bringing him or her into this world at the wrong time. That's why you should find the person you love and make sure he or she is the right one, marry him or her and then make children when your life and money is stable then everything will turn out right." Mama lectured.

Her words make me feel guilty but I didn't choose to have sex... I was raped and didn't want a child.

I wonder if she finds out that I'm pregnant, would she let me keep the baby and raise it to learn from my mistakes or put it up for adoption because I didn't plan to have sex and have a child...

"It's hard to go to school and take care of a kid . You have to pay for your classes now, you're not in high school anymore. You have to pay for your classes, and buy your child's needs on top of that, you want to move out and you'll have to pay bills! What if you child is disabled... then it would cost more money. You'll be struggling Trey!"

"But Mama, I'm planning on starting a music career. I'm already making songs and signing up for tv shows. I can do this. I'll get paid lots of money."

"Dream big all you want to but it's not that easy Trey. You can't just make a song and get money just like that." She snapped her fingers. "You gotta do more things for people to notice you to be famous and get paid. "

"Mama. You must've forgotten that we're one of the popular families in the United States. I can easily get money from singing and being on tv."

"Yeah and you're gonna make us look bad because you're having a child at eighteen years." She mumbled and took a bite of her cookie.

"I'm grown. I'm not a teenager anymore, I'm an adult now. They won't think we're bad. Now if I was younger, like sixteen or something then that would make us look bad."

I grew nervous and pushed my plate away to the middle of the table.

I'm fifteen and pregnant... that's worse.

I need to get this baby out.

"I know you're grown honey but I wanted you to start having babies a little more older than eighteen so that you'll have time."

"I-I'm gonna take a nap. I'll be back later." My voice shook.

I'm done listening to this conversation.

I got up from my chair and and quickly went upstairs to my room.

Tears start rushing out of my eyes and my head start to spin as I start to panic.

I walked back and forth in my room freaking out.

I have nothing to do..

They won't let me have abortion

They're gonna find out that I'm pregnant once I get big and everyone is gonna be mad at me.

My mom is gonna hate me..

And if I tell them what's going on and why I'm pregnant, we're all gonna be dead.

I gasped realizing that I ate a few cookies and broke my fast.

I ran out of my room into Mama's bathroom in her room and stepped on the weight scale.

I stood watching the digital numbers change until it brought out the final result...

112.4lbs

Dammit.

I gained weight!

I broke my fast!

I have to start again!

I ran in front of the toilet and shoved my middle finger down my throat until I gagged up the food I ate today.

I hate doing this... it's disgusting but it helps me loose weight and probably helps me kill this baby.

"Ariel?" I heard a familiar voice.

I snatched my slobbery finger out of my mouth and snapped my head towards the door.

Mama stood in the doorway with her arms crossed and looking confused.

Damn.. weren't she just talking to Trey downstairs?

"Are you okay? You didn't eat all your cookies.... and why are you in my room? She walked towards me.

"I uh-" I stuttered as liquid dripped out of my mouth.

She looked behind me and saw the scale still on the same numbers from when I stepped on it.

I forgot to turn it off...

"Ariel. I have to talk to you. Get up and clean your face." She sighed and handed me a towel.

I grabbed the towel and wiped my face as I stood up and flushed the toilet.

"I know what you're doing. I had it before. I had Bulimia before and almost died from it." She admitted.

I raised an eyebrow, "You think I have Bulimia? This is my first time. I had to do it because I broke my fast and need to start over and I don't plan on having Bulimia."

"Well, you're gonna have Bulimia if you keep making yourself throw up. It's gonna become a habit. Trey told me that you've been sick lately and throwing up all the time and he was sure that you have Bulimia because you mentioned that you wanted to loose weight too."

"I don't have Bulimia. Okay? Back when I was throwing up everyday... I-I was actually sick. Probably because of a stomach infection." I lied nervously. "Now this time, I forced myself to puke because I've forgotten that I was fasting." I added.

She sighed, "Why are you fasting anyways? You don't need to loose weight."

"Because I want to be like you Mama. I want to be a model and to be a model, you have to be skinny and beautiful and I'm working on that. I tried eating healthy and exercising but it never did work! So my friend, Ashely helped me out because she also want me to be a model with her."

"And how did she help you?"

"Well she.. she said that she fasts all the time and exercise in the morning before school and at night before bed everyday"

"Fasting all day everyday is not only gonna make you skinny, it's also gonna make you ugly and unhealthy so I advise you to stop doing this. You were perfectly fine before you started to do this mess."

"No I wasn't, I was a little chubby and my fat would jiggle all the time and it still do!" I slapped my thighs and it jiggled a little.

"So what?! It's normal! It's natural! You're a human! You're gonna have fat no matter what! You can't just be skin and bones! That's ugly!"

"I don't care. It would bother me and it would bother other people. I had paparazzi taking pictures of my faint thigh stretch marks and my stomach rolls whenever I sit down. I was sick of it and I was sick of seeing my own fat! The modeling place I wanted to be in didn't take me because I was a heavy 120lb piece of shit."

"Well ignore them. Go to another modeling place because whenever I signed up for modeling they didn't care what size I was. People just need to understand that we're human and we all aren't perfect. Just having all skinny models is boring. They need to have more curvy models. Curvy is beautiful and unhealthy skinny is not."

I looked down as a tear fall down from my face.

"You know, I'm gonna sign you up for a different modeling place because the one you looked is not good. What is the place that you tried to get into?"

"The place Sabrina is in.." I mumbled.

"Yup. I'm gonna find y'all another place because that place only allows anorexic looking girls."

I nodded slowly still looking down.

Mama put both her hands on my shoulders and turned me around so that I'm facing towards the mirror in front of us.

"Ariel, you're half black and half Indian and the black side of you has a big butt and thighs so that you'll have beautiful curves, thick hair with curls to twirl with your fingers. Your Indian side has beautiful and long silky hair with beautiful light round almond eyes and beautiful brown skin. You have to show these people what you are. Show them your beautiful curves and color that your African ancestors gave you and beautiful eyes your Indian ancestors gave you. Don't let anybody change you..." She advised.

"Now, I want you to change your act and eat everything we give you.... breakfast, lunch and dinner and I don't want you near a weight scale ever in your life unless you're going into a doctor's checkup. I want you to gain those curves out." She opened the door and walked out.

I followed her out and noticed that Sabrina and Trey were standing there by the wall.

"Were ya'll eavesdropping?" Mama smirked at them.

They nodded their heads and looked at me.

"I'm going to bed." I sighed and walked out of the room.

"But you just came home like thirty minutes ago." Sabrina raised an eyebrow.

"I can go to bed if I want to. Today is just not my day." I mumbled and left the room.

How am I gonna do this.

No matter what she says, I still want to loose weight.

I've gotten used to it.

It seems like I'm not listening to my mom but I am...

Yes I think curves are beautiful, but they are on other people, not me.

I think I look better skinny..

I felt someone grab my arm.

"Ariel." Mama turned me around. "Aren't you gonna tell me what happened at school today?" She asked looking curious.

I stood there while Trey and Sabrina both stood behind Mama, staring me down.

I start to shake again... feeling anxiety.

"I.. uh." I stuttered and scratched the back of my head."

"Tell her or else I'll tell her myself." Trey said sternly.

I took a deep shaky breath and felt tears forming in my eyes but tried to hold then back so that they won't know that I'm about to cry.

Mama is gonna be so mad.

I don't want this to happen right now.

She just came home and we're already getting in trouble.

"Sabrina. Can I talk to them in private please?" Mama politely asked.

Sabrina nodded and made her way downstairs.

"Come to my room now." Mama mumbled walking past us to her room.

Trey and I followed her back into her room. Every step I took, my legs would feel weak because of how scared I am.

Mama points to a chair in one corner and a chair in another corner for us to sit in and sat down on the edge of her bed facing us.

We sat down and watched her give us a death stare at the both of us.

"Tell me what's going on now. You're not leaving this room until you tell me."

Trey, who's not nervous at all, looks at me expecting me to speak up.

"Well since Ariel doesn't want to talk... I'll tell you." He sighed sounding irritated.

"Tell me every single thing that happened here and at school . I want to know. And if you lie, both of y'all are going to be punished."

"I have no reason to lie. Nothing bad happened until today. She got suspended for fighting and-"

Mama shot a look at me.

"Ariel! You know better! Don't ever put your hands on anybody! I don't care if it's your enemy or not! Don't put your hands on anybody!"

"But Mama Nia tried to get William to be my boyfriend and I keep saying no because I'm with Pr-" I stopped myself before I get to say his name.

I can't let her know that I'm dating someone.

"With what?" She asked.

"Your rules!" I lied.

Trey looked at me and shook his head in disbelief.

"And why are you fighting Nia because of that?! Just say no to her because you're not allowed to date!" She argued.

"She keeps forcing me to!"

"Stop stop." Trey stood up and held his hands out. "The whole reason behind this is that she fought Nia for trying to get William as her boyfriend while she's already in a relationship with Prince." He spilled.

"A relationship?!" Mama stood up from her bed.

"The second reason is that William has been abusing her for THREE years and Ariel tried to tell her but Nia continued to get the two to be in a relationship. In my opinion, I don't care that she fought her at all because I would've done the same damn thing if my best friend tried to hook me up with a person that abuses me."

Mama walked right in front of me and yanked my arm up so hard and fast that my arm made a loud pop.

"Ariel! Why haven't you told me shit?! It's been three years?!

"Mama! I can explain!" My voice shook.

"Explain to me now!" She shouted in my face.

"W-William said that if I ever told anybody of what he did to me, he would kill our family and I. H-he showed me the gun before." My voice shook.

"Didn't I tell you that if anybody treats you wrong and has a weapon you call the police?! Why didn't you do that?! He could've been in jail three years ago!"

"That's what I'm saying and I'm going to call the police whenever he gets here." Trey agreed.

"And why are you in a relationship with Prince?! Didn't I say no dating until the age of eighteen?!" I shouted.

I sighed wiped some of my tears away.

"Mama. I can do this myself. You don't have to call the police for me. I can. I should've did three years ago and it's my job to do that because if I called the police, I wouldn't have caused all this drama to happen right now. I'm almost sixteen and I need to speak up for myself. And Mama, I'm not a little kid. I can date somebody. I'm mature enough for a boyfriend-"

"I wish you can hear your self right now! You sound fucking stupid right now! Talking bout 'I'm mature enough to date somebody'" She mocked my words. "Hell no you're not mature to date anybody at a young age like this! These days y'all like to have sex, talk about sex listen to music related to sex and get brainwashed from the music and internet that sex is love. Sex is not love at all. Y'all don't know what love is at all. Now when you're grown you'll have the maturity that sex isn't important and that love is.."

"I don't want sex at all. Prince and I don't do anything like that at all and if we did stuff like that then I would've been done broke up with him because I know I'm too young for sex."

She furrowed her eyebrows and crossed her arms.

"Ha. I don't even believe you right now. I don't even think you're a virgin." She gave me a disgusted look.

Her look broke my heart...

She never gave me a disgusted look.

I feel like trash to her now.

"I-I am a virgin..." My voice shook.

She pursed her lips, knowing that I'm lying.

"Don't ever lie to me like that again. You're grounded. You're not going to go anywhere but school and church for a whole month."

"I'm not lying Mama!"

"Yeah and if I found out that you're pregnant from having sex with Prince, you're leaving the house with your 'grown' and lying self."

Tears start to form in my eyes and my face gets hot from embarrassment.

"I will never have sex with Prince until I am married. I can promise you that Mama. Why don't you believe me. Just because I'm in a relationship doesn't mean I had sex or want sex from him. I love him. I might not know what real love is but we're learning."

"Yeah.. go in your room. I don't want to hear from you again today." She shooed me with her hand and walked to another place in her room.

"Mama. I'm not lying!" I cried. "Why would I lie to you. You just came home from the hospital today and I was planning in telling you another day because I want you to have a good day today and not deal with the drama until Trey spoke up with his big mouth!" I spat.

Mama looked back at me and pointed at Trey.

"Trey did the right thing. Don't worry about me having a good day. I want to know what's happening to my children because I haven't been around them for a long time."

"But still... you haven't been here for a day and you're already grounding me because I'm dating a person and you're assuming that I'm not a virgin because of that." I argued.

"I'm grounding you because you disobeyed my rules." She pointed a finger at me.

"So did Trey... Why didn't he get grounded?!" I pointed at Trey.

"Because he has a girlfriend at eighteen years old-"

"He also has a baby on the way!"

"It's better than having a boyfriend at fifteen and loosing your damn virginity! You might get pregnant some day at a very young age!" Mama yelled at me as she stomped her way towards me. "I know he did wrong like having sex before marriage and having a child but he did get a girlfriend at the age I wanted him to be."

"So you think having a baby before marriage is better than dating someone before you're eighteen?!" I shouted.

I feel so bad for yelling at her but she sounds very confusing and stupid right now.

But I do feel kinda guilty because I'm pregnant at a young age and that's worse.

"Yes it's better because he's moving his ass out of the house soon because he knows better!" She yelled.

I clenched my fist in frustration and wiped my tears off with my sleeve. I walked to the door and swung the door open.

"I'm leaving." I mumbled.

"Ariel you are not going anywhere-"

"I said I'M LEAVING!" I shouted.

I heard loud footsteps behind me and before I knew it I felt a sharp slap against the side of my head, making me drop to the floor.

"I KNOW YOU'RE NOT YELLING AT YOUR MOTHER LIKE THAT AFTER WORKING HER ASS OFF FIGHTING CANCER ISOLATED IN THE DAMN HOSPITAL FOR FIVE MONTHS!" Mama raged standing over me and Trey watching from behind her.

Trey rushed over and pulled Mama back gently and whispered for her to calm down.

"GO TO YOUR DAMN ROOM AND I BETTER NOT HEAR A PEEP OUT OF YOU!" She raged as she yanked my arm for me to stand up and pushed me away.

I ran to my room, slammed the door and start bawling on the floor feeling a lot of hatred and guilt.

I'm leaving this fucking house.

I grabbed my umbrella and my phone and escaped from my room window.

•Yeah... very long chapter. I've been writing this for a long time and finally done! Sorry for the wait.•