hiii

If u r confused on something plz comment your confusion so I can help u

This is my first time writing complete text conversation and it's a lil bit rough

Plz be nice when voicing ur confusion I am a soft squishy marshmallow

I hope you enjoy it though <3 byeee
~~~

Thursday at 7:49 pm

T: jordan

Seen by Jordy <3 at 7:50 pm

T: jordan

Seen by Jordy <3 at 7:51 pm

T: jordan bloody maron

J: I'm busy.

T: too busy to tell me goodnight?

J: Yup.

T: your a dick.

J: You're*

T: You're a dick. tell me goodnight.

Seen by Jordy <3 at 7:45 pm

T: JORDAN

J: I'm busy.

T: fine!! nice to know how much u care -.-goodnight you wanker

J: I was driving.

T: and now you aren't. tell me goodnight.

J: Really tired actually. Might go to bed early.

T: i will break up with your ass if you don't tell me goodnight.

Seen by Jordy <3 at 7:48 pm

T: ;-; you dont love me no more.

J: Not true.

T: THEN WHY WONT YOU TELL ME GOODNIGHT YOU BITCH

J: Okay. Goodnight you bitch.

T: suck a cock.

J: Maybe later.

T: come cuddle with me

J: We are approximately 5437 miles apart. I can't.

T: come live with me

J: My land contract does not run out until the date of June 8th. I cannot move until then.

T: i want you here though

J: Aren't you visiting soon?

T: not soon enough

J: 1 week. You'll be okay.

T: Jordannn i wanna see you now :(

J: skype?

T: please.

~

Today at 2:29 am

T: jardon

Seen by Jordy <3 at 2:35 am

J: Thomas it is nearly 3 am.

T: so?

J: i have things to do tomorrow. We talked until 12.

T: i cant sleep. watching your vids tho

J: Oh that's nice. What's keeping you up?

T: i miss you.

J: We haven't seen each other in months and now you choose to miss me?

T: yeah. who is that steve guy?

J: What Steve guy?

T: the guy in your roulette vid. who is he?

J: A friend.

T: he better be >:(

J: I hardly think an emoji would scare him, friend or not. He has a girlfriend anyways.

T: doesn't matter. he could still be on to you.

J: Don't be a Jealous Jim.

T: who the hell is jim? is he a friend? you have too many guy friends make them go away

J: Its 3 am. I'm too tired for this Tom.

T: you never have enough time for me >_<

J: You know I only love you. And I never have enough time for anyone. I'm sorry.

T: >.> you said you loved me

J: I suppose I did.

T: I LOVE YOU TOOOOOO <3

J: Go to bed.

T: YOU CONFESSED IT

T: I WILL NEVER LET YOU LIVE THIS DOWN

T: YOU SAID ITTTT

T: YOU LOOOOVE ME

J: I have to get up at 5.

T: YOU LOVE ME YOU WIMP HAHAHAHAHAHA

J: I'm going. Sleep. I need it.

T: GOODNIGHT JORDYYYYY I LOOOVE YOUUUU

J: Night

Seen by Tom at 3:15 am

J: love you too.

Delivered at 3:30 am

~

Today at 8:18 am

T: YOU SAID IT AGAIN

Seen by Jordy <3 at 8:19 am

~
Friday at 7:15 pm

J: I got hurt skateboarding.

Seen by Tom at 7:20 pm

T: oh god

T: oh god jordan HWTA HAPLENED

J: I think that says what, and I just told you what happened.

T: I MEAN WHAT DID YOU BREAK

T: WERE YOU WEARING A HELMET

T: IF YOU WERENT WEARING A HELMET SO HELP ME GOD

J: I'm fine. I'm getting an X-Ray right now. I just wanted to tell you before you found out on Twitter.

T: DOES IT HURT

T: WERE YOU WEARING A HELMET YOU NEVER ANSWERED THAT

J: To be honest, no. I thought I'd be okay though. I was only going up one tiny ramp.

T: WAIT WHAT DO YOU MEAN FINE DOES ANYTHING HURT YOU SAID YOU GOT HURT JORDAN

J: I'll tell you when you stop talking in all capital letters.

T: ;-; please be okay

J: My ankle might be broken.

J: ...

J: Tom?

T: I HATE YOU

T: ITS NOT FAIR THAT I AM A MILLION MILES AWAY WHEN UR HURT

J: It doesn't hurt. It's kinda numb, but it definitely doesn't hurt. Wanna see a picture? It's pretty gnarly.

T: WHY WOULD I WANT TO SEE A PICTURE OF THAT

Jordy <3 sent an image

This image has been deleted

T: i HATE you.

J: Good news: it's just a sprain.

T: HOW THE BLOODY HELL WAS THAT A SPRAIN

J: No idea. Skype later?

T: YOU BETTER BELIEVE IM GONNA GIVE YOU A DAMN FIVE HOUR LECTURE OVER HELMETS AMD SAFETY YOU SHIT

J: I look forward to it :)

~

Saturday at 2:30 am

J: Tom

Seen by Tommy at 2:38 am

J: Tom.

Seen by Tommy at 2:39 am

J: Why are you at a strip club and why am I looking at a picture of a hooker with her ass in your face.

Seen by Tommy at 2:40 am

T: maybw herr ASS iz finer than urs bitch

J: You're drunk.

T: HEL YEAS

J: I'm calling you in the morning. Hope you like angry screaming with your hangovers.

~

Today at 2:55 am

T: This is Tony. Let him have a little fun, mate.

Seen by Jordy <3 at 2:56 am

J: There's a difference between having fun and cheating on somebody.

T: Doesn't count as cheating as long as he keeps the beast behind the zipper.

J: Shut up. I don't appreciate you letting this happen.

T: He's gonna call you in a minute. Chill.

J: Can't wait. I'm going to kill him.

~

Sunday at 10:16 am

T: im sorry

J: Don't worry about it.

T: really? thought you woulda been pissed

J: Your phone call last night made up for it.

T: ...i called you?

J: Yup.

T: what did i say?

J: Some things. I had no idea you wanted to kiss me that much.

T: shit

T: im never going for drinks with tony again

J: ;)

T: fuck meeee

J: Have a nice hangover~

~

Monday at 11:47 am

T: my flight got cancelled and the next one doesnt come for another month :( and i cant afford another ticket bc my other was expensive as hell

J: I'm sorry. Guess we'll have to wait awhile.

T: you should come here!!

J: I can't. I have to work on fortress fury stuff and I have no videos prepared if I just take off and leave. It's okay, we can wait another month.

T: okay.

J: Sorry. It won't be long, okay?

Seen by Tom at 11:52 am

J: Tom?

Seen by Tom at 11:54 am

J: I gotta go to a meeting. I'll Skype you later?

Seen by Tom at 11:55 am

T: dont bother.

Delivered at 11:56 am

~

Tuesday at 5:00 pm

J: Hey I have a day off today. You wanna do an all-day Skype call and watch movies??

Seen by Tom at 5:10 pm

T: nah. im hanging with nade all day today. he just came in from america.

J: Oh okay. Skype tomorrow?

Delivered at 5:12 pm

~

Wednesday at 2:16 pm

J: Skype?

T: im streaming

J: Oh. After your done maybe?

T: going to dinner with dad

J: Okay. Goodnight I guess.

T: night.

~

Thursday at 3:29 pm

T: grand mum died two minutes ago.

J: I'm sorry. I love you. Call?

T: not right now.

J: Okay. I'm always here.

T: except when you're not.

J: Tom you know I couldn't come. I'm sorry your trip here got ruined, but I can't just go buy tickets randomly and come visit you whenever. I have work and things I have to do.

T: so your stupid fortress game is more important than me?

J: Tom. Please.

T: fuck you.

~

Friday at 4:57 am

J: Call?

T: busy.

~

Saturday at 1:00 pm

J: Call? Please?

T: cant. busy.

~

Sunday at 1:19 am

J: Please call me.

Seen by Tommy at 1:20 am

~

Monday at 8:42 am

T: funerals in two days.

Seen by Jordan at 8:42 am

J: I can come?

T: nah. wouldn't wanna mess up your schedule with my dead grand mum's death.

J: That's not fair.

T: nothing is. tough luck.

J: You changed my name. What happened to Jordy?

T: why havent you been posting vids?

J: Please let me come there.

T: no.

~

Tuesday at 3:13 am

T: i saw her die. she was just twitching all over. she didn't deserve that jordan. she was the sweetest lady you'd ever meet. it wasn't fair.

J: Call me? Please?

T: okay.

~

Today at 5:48 am

J: I bought the ticket. Leaving in an hour. Can you pick me up from the airport?

T: yeah. just call me when you get close

J: Okay. Love you.

T: love you too.

~

Tuesday at 4:16 pm

T: i see you

J: oh?

T: you look cute.

J: thank you. i bet you do too.

T: doubtful. haven't slept in awhile.

J: me either. slept two hours on the whole seven hour flight. most sleep ive gotten all week.

J: you look really cute.

T: come give me a hug then.

~

Wednesday at 5:46 pm

T: where did you go? soon as the funeral ended you took off

J: The hotel in town.

T: ur staying with me.

J: I don't want to be a bother. Your dads house looks pretty full already.

T: i have a house, you know.

J: Thought it was wasn't finished yet?

T: the bedroom is finished.

J: Oh.

T: ;)

J: I like being a virgin.

T: not being one is so much better.

J: I'd rather wait, if you don't mind. We went to a funeral a few hours ago, after all.

T: true. guess I'll have to wait like a sex deprived peasant -.-

J: >.< respect my boundaries plz

T: im respectin' them. get your ass down to my house.

~

Wednesday at 10:15 pm

J: Tom

J: Tooom

T: yah?

J: Your bathroom is out of toilet paper.

T: bathroom isn't really finished yet. the plumbing doesn't work right. we haven't bought any TP for it either.

J: Are you kidding.

T: wish i was babe.

J: Please get me something to wipe with.

T: im on it.

T: newspaper?

J: Ugh. I guess.

~

Today at 1:12 am

T: your lips taste like kiwi.

T: you're asleep right now beside me

T: but I just wanted to tell you that your lips are awesome >.>

T: can we kiss more?

T: you look real cute right now. i really wanna draw something on your face.

T: I wrote 'tom loves u' is that okay? oh well. it isn't permanent anyway.

T: shit

T: it is permanent

T: I'm just gonna wait until you notice and keep quiet till then ^.^

T: im sorry i was a jerk

T: i know you lost sleep because of me.

T: i love you always. that's cheesy as hell but it's true.

T: i just touched your ass

T: it was an accident

T: damn i wanna do it again but boundaries

T: crap ur waking up >.<

T: you didn't notice what I did but you grabbed ur phone before u went to the bathroom so

J: You are a child.

J: Is this permanent?

J: Tom I am going to murder you

J: I HAVE TO GO SEE YOUR PARENTS TOMORROW

T: oops

~

Thursday at 4:51 pm

J: My forehead looks like a damn fire hydrant.

T: its not that bad

J: It's red. It's so red.

T: still cute tho <3 and at least we got the marker off!!

J: I hate you.

T: ;-; i didn't know it was permanent i swear

J: What's an important thing you're going to soon?

T: the cinema with you tomorrow

J: I'm drawing on your face before we go.

T: whatcha gonna draw ;)

J: A penis.

T: i guess i deserve that

J: Yes you do.

T: alice likes your face :D

J: Yeah? Did she tell you that before or after your parents asked if I was constipated?

T: .-.

T: after

~

Friday at 5:06 pm

T: people r staring >_<

J: Good. Now you know how I feel.

T: plz let me wash it off

J: Nope.

T: im gonna puke

J: What? Why?

T: i don't feel good

J: Does your chest hurt?

T: yeah. y does it hurt

J: Meet me at the bathroom. I'll wash off the marker.

Seen by Tommy <3 at 5:13 pm

Today at 5:30 pm

T: i feel better. what was in those baby wipes?

J: Nothing. Do you know what anxiety is?

T: i think so

T: its when u get super nervous right?

J: There's a little more to it. I'll be there in a sec with the popcorn. Which theater is it again?

T: 3

J: Hope you picked good seats :)

T: far away but there's no one around to bother us

T: we can make out peacefully ;)

J: Craving more of that kiwi?

T: hell yes.

J: You won't be disappointed~

~

Saturday at 10:48 pm

J: Did you get condoms?

T: yessir

J: Everything else?

T: define everything else

J: You know what I mean.

T: i dont actually ^_^

J: ...

J: did you get lube

T: HAHAHA YOU SAID IT

J: Shut up. Did you get it?

T: of course I did darling <3 am I topping or you?

J: Can we wait to have this conversation until you get back?

T: i just wanna know so i can prepare and it wont be hella awkward

J: I don't know what I'm doing. What does topping mean?

T: awwwwww ur so cute. it means who's on top

J: Be literal.

T: who's putting their body parts in who is what im asking

J: oh.

T: we dont have to do it tonight.

J: I leave tomorrow night though. We won't get another chance for a long time.

T: i know but ur boundaries are more important jordy. ur sure you want to?

J: You'll be gentle?

T: of course. we'll have safe words and we can stop anytime you want.

J: Can you buy some beer?

T: uh sure

T: why you want beer? i thought u didn't like it
J: My nerves are killing me.

T: i'll get some wine okay?

J: Thank you.

~

Today at 3:45 am

T: you are fucking beautiful.

~

Sunday at 7:23 am

J: i'm so sore

J: please get me some medicine

J: tom it hurts so bad

T: ill get you the best pain meds ever

T: be there soon okay? line is really long

J: okay

~

Today at 8:00 am

J: where are you

T: stuck in traffic. im sorry. still hurt?

J: yesss

T: im so sorry

T: pain on scale of 1-10?

J: 9 1/2

T: almost there. bought you some other stuff to help

J: okay

~

Today at 8:47 am

J: tommmm

T: this damn city is a fucking disgrace

T: ive been in the same spot for 30 minutes

J: ughhhhhhhhhh

T: im sorry jordy im trying my best

T: i think there was an accident or something there's cops everywhere

J: time estimate?

T: maybe an hour

J: i hate life

T: same here. hang in there beautiful <3

~

Today at 9:50 am

T: pulling in now

J: i am near death

J: please hurry

~

Today at 1:13 pm

T: hows the bathroom trip going?

Seen by Jordykins <3 at 1:14 pm

T: jordan?

T: you need any help? don't be shy, if u need help i can help

J: carry me back to the room?

T: sure thing cutie pie <3 everything good?

J: my ass hurts so badly.

~

Today at 6:57 pm

T: i don't feel good about sending a crippled boy back completely alone to america

J: It's okay.

T: you were limping when i dropped you off.

T: where are you right now?

J: Bathroom.

T: your flight leaves in five? aren't you supposed to be at the gate?

Seen by Jordykins <3 at 7:12 pm

T: jordan?

J: I don't wanna go home.

T: ? why not?

J: I'm in pain and my house is cold and I hate planes and it's too crowded and I'll miss you and I love London and your house is warm and I just don't want to go home tom

T: im still outside. wanna go get an ice cream?

J: Yeah.

~

Monday at 5:15 pm

T: love you

J: Love you too :) Thanks for letting me stay.

T: you should live with me.

J: Cant. June 8th, remember?

T: it's june 2nd :]

J: That is true.

T: why don't you staaaaaaay with meeeee

J: I'd have to get somebody to move all of my stuff here, Sam Smith. It would take weeks for everything to show up and longer than that to work things out with my contractor. But I don't want to go home anyway and I guess I could always rent or buy most of the things I need until then.

T: so that's a no?

J: It's a very reluctant yes.

T: YOURE GONNA LIVE WITH ME????

J: I think we just established that.

T: I LOVE YOU JORDAN ALLEN COOPER MARON

J: Love you too, Thomas <3

~

Tuesday at 9:19 am

T: marry me

J: I just moved in yesterday?

T: ;-; plz I'm a lonely man

J: And I'm a very non-committal guy.

T: ?

J: I don't like commitment.

T: ah. marry me tho?

J: Can it wait?

T: nuuuu i wanna get married nowwww

J: Our fans don't even know we're dating.

T: good time for them to find out >.>

J: Let them know by posting our wedding pics to Twitter?

T: yah

J: Sorry. I'm just not ready to give you half of my belongings yet.

T: psh

T: Keep your crap, I just want to see you in a dress ^.^

J: no.

T: ;-; BUT SPARKLEZ

J: There will be no dress wearing by me.

T: ._. i will cry

J: Don't cry.

T: CAN U HEAR ME

T: CAN U HEAR MY SOBS

J: Yes I can actually, and they aren't very pleasant.

T: ;-; ;-; ;-;

T: what if i got u pregnant

J: If you can find a way to defy the laws of nature, then sure. I'll marry you.

T: hmmmm

T: get a sex change

J: No.

T: BUT JARDON I WANT TO MARRY YOU

J: And I want to be a free man.

T: THIS ISNT FAIR

T: LISTEN YOUNG MAN

T: YOU LIVE IN MY HOUSE YOU LIVE BY MY RULES

T: AND MY RULES SAY U GOTTA MARRY ME

J: Try proposing to me in some way that isn't through via text and maybe my decision will change.

T: REALLY

J: :)

~

June 10th 2016 at 2:55 pm

T: PAX MC PANEL IN 5

J: I'm on it

T: HURRY ITS ALREADY FULL OF PEOPLE

J: 0_0 damn I didn't expect so many people to show for a last minute panel.

T: It's gonna be a special one ;)

J: Please don't get naked on stage.

T: GET YOUR ASS IN HERE

J: Alright, jeez.

~

Today at 4:10 pm

J: You just proposed to me.

J: In front of hundreds of people.

J: And I started bawling. Everyone saw me cry.
T: iiii love you, my fiancé!!

J: I can't stop crying. Why can't I stop crying.

T: Is it super sad crying or..?

J: no

J: I'm just overwhelmed I think

J: I don't know what to do

T: come out of the bathroom stall and hug me?

J: I can't move anything except my thumbs

T: could you unlock the door for me babe?

J: Please don't start calling me baby or babe

T: fiiiine

T: but seriously can you open the door?

~

Today at 9:29 pm

T: LES GF TO VEGIS!!!!

J: Let's not go to Vegas.

T: PAWTY POOPR

J: Maybe I am a party pooper, but somebody's gotta be in this relationship. Where'd you go? Which bar?

T: SUCCA CAUCK

J: Maybe later. Where are you?

J: ...

J: Guess I'll have to use the Tom tracker app again -.- I hate it when you're drunk sometimes.

~

Today at 4:44 am

T: where r u? come cuddle

J: I'm sick. I don't want you getting sick too.

T: sick? whats wrong?

J: I dunno. I didn't drink at all last night. Stomach flu maybe? Been puking for hours.

T: come cuddle. ill make it better <3

J: This is projectile vomit, so you will be sprayed without a doubt if I try to come cuddle.

T: :0 i think i know whats wrong

J: What?

T: UR PREGGERS!!

J: I'm not.

T: IM A DADDY

J: Please stop.

T: WHAT IF YOU HAVE TWINS? OR TRIPLETS? OR QUADRA BABIES?

J: Quadruplets you mean?

T: WE R PARENTS

J: We are not. You've been reading too many fan fictions.

T: i read this one where you have twins!! it was so cute sparklez!! ^.^

J: It's weird.

T: ur weird >.>

J: I'm not the one who reads fan fiction about guys getting pregnant. You don't even like kids.

T: I LOVE BABIES U DICK

J: But you don't like children. Whenever we see them in public you hiss at them.

T: if I had my own tho i would feed them and love them and kiss them and everything!!

J: You can't have them if you're marrying me.

T: whaaaat? why not?

J: Because we're both guys.

T: we could adopt!!

J: I thought you wanted your own children?

T: they count as our own if they live with us ;-;

J: You're too sweet.

T: thank you ^.^ what are those girls called who have kids for you but they have your dna and stuff

J: ...mothers?

T: no!! it starts with a S. surragents?

J: A surrogate?

T: YES

J: You'd be willing to do that one day?

T: yah!!

J: I guess that could work. Whose DNA would go into the baby though? It could only be one of us plus the chosen mother.

T: YOU

J: um

T: YES! I want little jordans!

J: I don't know :| I kinda want little Toms.

T: nuuuu but ur so much cuter ;-;

J: Nooo

T: YESSS

J: I guess we could get a surrogate who looks a lot like one of us.

T: MY SISTER

J: I don't know if Alice would be up to giving birth.

T: ILL BRIBE HER

J: I dunno. I'll be right back, I have to clean up the bathroom.

T: do you need a bathroom cleaning partner ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

J: What if I get you sick?

T: psh i dont care :P

J: You're just gonna sit around the whole time and tell me I'm pregnant.

T: come on u know u want that ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

J: Not really.

T: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) c'mon

J: No.

T: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

T: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

T: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

J: STOP SENDING ME THAT DAMN LENNY FACE I AM PUKING AND I AM TIRED AND I AM STRESSED

T: oki!! let me come give you cuddles plz ill be good!!

J: Please bring towels and blankets.

T: what are the blankets for??

J: Me. I'm cold.

T: u got it Jordykins <3

~

May 8th, 2017 at 5:46 pm

J: When are you getting home from the trip?

T: wont be for a few hours. whats up?

J: We need to talk when you get home.

T: oh. what about?

J: i dont really want to do it over text.

T: 0_0

T: Jordan please don't leave me

T: i know im a shit fiancé but i can do better i promise

J: No no no! That's not what it's about!

T: oh thank god. i love you. what are we gonna talk about?

J: I love you too. I just wanted to see if Alice still wanted to do that thing we talked about.

T: what thing?

J: The thing we talked about last time we saw her.

T: ....the surrogate thing?

J: Yeah.

T: YOU WANT KIDS

J: Yes.

T: HOKY SHIET

T: ILL CALL HER RIFHT NOW

T: WIAT WHICH KEN OF US IS GONNA BE THEA DNA PERSIN

T: SHIT WAIT I HAVEKT BOYGHT ANAIYHONG FOR THE BABIE

J: Calm down! Just wait until you get home and we'll sort everything out.

T: I CANT BELIEVE THIS IS HAPPENING I LOVE U SO MUCH

T: ITLL BE GREAT I PROMISE

T: YOU WONT REGRET IT

J: I've been thinking about it for awhile. I haven't stopped thinking about it since you left actually.

T: SAME

T: ILL BE HOME IN 3 HOURS

J: Can't wait <3

~

January 23rd, 2019 at 3:16 pm

J: Can you pick up Rosie from your sisters?

T: 0_0 sparklez we dropped her off two hours ago and shes supposed to spend the night. didnt doc say we had to leave her with alice for a little bit after she's first born?

J: I MISS MY BABY

T: oki!! ill call alice and come pick her up.

J: Please hurry. I'm so worried.

T: ur such a hover dad

J: I don't care. She's my baby.

T: OUR baby.

J: Our baby :)

T: she looks too much like you >:(

J: Is that a bad thing?

T: no ;-; it's the best thing ever. i hope she inherited a sense of humor tho bc u certainly didnt

J: >.> thx

T: <3

~

February 19th, 2019 at 9:03 pm

J: ROSIE IS SICK

J: SHES COUGHING WHAT DO I DO

T: chill!! go to the clinic downtown and let them help

J: BUT I DONT KNOW WHERE IT IS AND MY GPS ISNT WORKING AND THE CAR HAS A FLAT

T: call neighbor Alice! she can take you guys!

J: SHES NOT PICKING UP THE PHONE AND NEITHER ARE YOUR PARENTS

T: ill be there in ten minutes im leaving the mall rn!

J: HURRY

Today at 9:10 pm

J: um

J: she's okay now.

T: WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHES OKAY NOW
T: SHE WAS SICK FIVE MINUTES AGO

J: alice came over. she patted Rosie's back and she burped a little and now she's asleep.

J: im sorry I panicked

T: I'm signing us up for parenting classes.

J: okay ._.

~

November 13th, 2020 at 6:32 pm

T: congrats on 15 million subs captain ;)

J: Did you drop off Rosie as your moms?

T: mhmmmm

J: We're alone for the night?

T: mhmmmmmmmm

J: Arrival time?

T: be there in ten minutes :)

J: I'll be waiting~

T: i can't wait to make you scream so loud your throat gets raw.

J: You'll have to catch me first ;)

T: we playing hide and fuck?

J: Mayyybe.

T: you better pick a damn good hiding place.

~

Today at 6:46 pm

T: u picked a good spot 0_0 i can't find you anywhere

J: That's too bad. You sounded realllly horny in those last few texts :)

T: when i find you

T: somebody's gonna get a spanking

J: Oh gosh :3

T: ...

T: is that breathing i hear behind the cupboard?

J: I dunno, is it?

T: i can hear you trying not to giggle. how did you fit in there? there's like zero space under the stairs

J: I'm Harry Potter.

T: can i be malfoy? i kinda want to hate-fuck you rn

J: Tom!!

T: unlock the cupboard potter.

J: Make me malfoy :p

J: YOURE GONNA BREAK THE CUPBOARD DONT BUST IN THE DOOR

T: fineeee

T: i just remembered

T: i have a key >:)

J: Oh no.

J: Um. Can't we work out our differences?

T: too late for that bitch

T: if you let me kidnap you willingly then ill go easy on ya

J: No >:( I'm a fighter till the very end!

T: last chance im about to slide the key in

T: you better behave princess

J: :p

T: NO MERCY

J: EEEEEK

~

Today at 7:53 pm

J: :p

T: HOW DID U GET LOOSE

T: I TIED U UP SO WELL

J: Science. Bring me some food while you're downstairs, I'm hungry.

T: im not doing shit! u were naughty the whole time during prep and u don't deserve any rewards >:(

J: I haven't eaten since 2

T: ...

T: WHY DIDNT YOU TELL ME THAT BEFORE WE STARTED

T: NO WONDER UR SO EASY TO TOP, UR WEAK FROM STARVING TO DEATH

J: I'm trying to lose weight.

T: why

J: Because I'm fat.

T: no ur not ;-; plz eat

T: i love ur tum tum don't get rid of it!! plzzzz!

J: A bunch of people are calling me fat in the comments.

T: im ordering a damn pizza A MEATLOVERS PIZZA and you better eat it. those people are heartless trolls who don't appreciate the art of your tum tum.

J: What about fun times in bed? ;(

T: 30 mins to eat and get your tum tum full

T: then the fun times will begin

T: k?

J: Okay.

T: seriously though

T: i love ur tummy. i love you. don't listen to the haters.

J: Love you too. Your rope technique is sloppy, to be honest. Just tie me to the posts next time.

T: im gonna practice some more

T: and when I get the hang of it ur ass is in trouble mr.houdini

J: I don't understand your fascination with bondage.

T: ;-; kinkshamer

T: NOBODY UNDERSTANDS UR WEIRD KINK FOR SCI FI MOVIE SEXUAL ROLEPLAY

J: Don't judge me.

T: im judging you -.- be up in a minute.

J: Okie doke.

~

Today at 10:08 pm

T: note to self: always eat pizza before sex.

J: tommy

T: yes princess

J: when are we gonna get married

T: :|

T: not sure yet beautiful. whenever i bring it up we always argue.

J: i wanna get married

T: lets talk about it in the morning, okay? ur kinda strung out right now

J: cuddle me kiss me hks ne

T: im almost done cleaning up and then ill be back up

T: go to sleep <3 ur tired

J: ok

~

January 2nd, 2021 at 6:19 pm

J: We just got married.

T: yup

J: I'm married.

T: ? u ok?

J: I'm in shock.

T: are you hiding in the bathroom again

J: Did we rush into this too quickly? I feel like we rushed into this too quickly.

T: we've been engaged for years. we've lived together for years. we have a kid.

J: Why did we get married in Vegas?

T: because u didn't want a big wedding and Vegas was the only thing we could agree on? has ur memory been erased?

J: When did I get this huge ring?

T: i bought it for you last month for our anniversary. seriously, there's a hospital nearby. do we need to go?

J: Where's Rosie?

T: at mums place. we dropped her off two days ago.

J: Why am I wearing a blue mini dress?

T: u wanted a dress that wasn't fancy so we went to walmart :p

J: Oh. It's pretty.

T: do i need to rescue you from the hotel bathroom

J: Yes. I can't move. Please help me.

T: on my way babeh!

~

Today at 12:47 pm

J: I had this weird dream that somebody wrote a book about our text messages.

T: would you read it? xD

J: I guess I would. We do have pretty interesting texts sometimes.

J: Why am I texting you when you're right beside me?

T: because talking takes effort >.>

J: True.

T: so we're married

T: now what?

J: We get old and die.

T: ur depressing.

T: let's go to disney land!!

J: And delay the inevitable factor of death.

T: .-. have you been listening to sad songs again

J: Yes. Please take my headphones away from me before I commit suicide.

J: Thanks for yanking them out of my ears you meanie.

T: :3

T: life is too short to worry about death n stuff

T: let's cuddle and not worry about it

J: Sounds good. I love you.

T: love you too <3 goodnight my cute husband ^.^

J: Goodnight other cute husband <3

J: oh my god we're married now

T: -.-
~~~

I have made so many mistakes but I have been editing this for a solid two weeks and I am done with it >_< I had no idea text conversations were so hard to do!! The dates and time and trying to match them all up in the right order is so stressful and ughhhh effort

But I hope you guys liked it anyway :p I have over 20 drafts (not even joking) of unfinished one shots (if you want a picture for proof I'll give it to you) and thank god I finally finished one of them >.> seriously considering just making a book full of unfinished ideas and letting whoever do what they want with them bc I feel like they're never gonna get finished anyway :|

Please comment and favorite and send love!! I love your love and when you leave your love on my love then it makes me feel loved <3 bye bye!

- Lee