This is based off the song Hello by Adele SO THIS MAY MAKE YOU CRY JUST A BIT OR MAYBE NOT IDK BUT TELL ME IF IT DOES I WANT TO KNOW, I JUST WANTED TO CREATED SOME SADNESS D:
~~~
"Hey uh, it's me again. I was just seeing if you were still coming? You haven't really answered any of my calls, but I'm gonna be here anyway. I-I hope you are coming. I really...I really want to talk to you. Um...bye." I hung up before I could make an even further fool of myself. Of course he isn't coming. Why would he? We haven't spoken in years and...and after what I've done, he shouldn't need to.

I shoved the phone back in my coat pocket and decided to get out of the stuffy car. Why on all days did I choose today? It's raining and it's so humid. The sky's dark and everything seems so...faded. Even the grass on the lawn of the house looked old and grey. But I do know why I chose today. It's the day he left, the day everything went to shit and I lost him forever.

I trudged down the familiar pathway of stone, smiling when I remembered long ago how much he'd wanted a stone pathway. We fought on it for days, and finally I let him have it. The flowers he'd planted were long since dead, shriveled and brown and colorless, just like everything else surrounding the house. Even the welcome sign near the porch was destroyed, the wood completely rotted and most of the letters gone. I didn't want to look up at the house, but I did anyway. The memories that came flooding back nearly did it, but I managed to pull my eyes away before the tears started. I'm not crying today. I already promised myself I wouldn't.

Every step I took up the porch brought back more and more familiar sounds. I remember when I used to wait for him everyday, I'd sit on the couch and wait for him to come home from work. When I'd hear the creaking of the porch steps, I would get so happy.

Now all that they brought me was sadness.

The doorknob was rusted over, I noticed. I hope it doesn't break and I'm locked out. Though that would make a good excuse on why I couldn't go in. I wrapped my gloved fingers around the knob and turned it, relieved and disappointed that it turned and opened perfectly. I had to take a breath before I went in, because I knew for sure I'd be flooded with memories.

It still had that same smell that I remember. There is no way I can describe it. The air smelled like home and it made me feel safe and warm, despite how cold it really was inside its walls. Yes, I was flooded with memories, but it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I think it was because of the shape the house was in. The walls were molded, the floors covered in dirt, the furniture and frames covered with seven layers of dust. I knew it's only been a few years since it happened, but this house looks like it's been centuries. I took a few steps down the hallway, my eyes catching on a certain frame on the right side. I wiped away the dust with my hand and smiled when I realized which picture it was. Him, when he was in college. It was his college yearbook picture. He hated the picture, but I had always loved it. His happy smile and wide sparkling eyes are what I fell in love with, and those features show immensely in the picture.

I walked further down the hallway, making my way towards the living room. All of the furniture was covered with white sheets, to protect it from molding I guess. I ripped off the sheet that covered the couch, making dust fly into the air and choke me slightly. After I finished my coughing fit, I took a seat on it. Now I have to wait.

Wait for him to come, when I know he isn't coming.
~
"Stay still! I'm not done with your tie yet!" He laughed, fiddling with my tie while I made fake choking noises to emphasize how much he was strangling me. We were going to a wedding, Sonja and Tucker's wedding. Of course I didn't want to go, I hate weddings. Sit in a chair quietly for a whole hour while two people stare at each other and then make out? Nope, not for me. But he managed to convince me into going. How? I have no clue.

"I can't breathe! Stop yanking me!" I shoved him playfully and he giggled and sent a playful slap across my cheek.

"Give me five seconds and I'll let you breathe again! Stop moving!"

"Make me!"

"I will!" He pressed my body against the wall and leant his forehead against mine, keeping me perfectly still and in one place. Damn. He's smart.

"There. I'm done. Was that so bad?" He teased, kissing my cheek gently. I made a whining noise and tried to wiggled away, but he only drug me back to him and kissed me harder, on the lips this time. No matter how much we kiss, I will always get butterflies when we do.

"Now then. Let's go to a wedding." I grabbed me by the tie and drug me towards the front door, the two of us laughing the whole way to the car.

I love him. I'll never stop.
~
"Hey it's me again. I'm here and I'll be staying for the rest of the day. The house looks just like it did before, dusty and moldy, haha. Um, call me back soon, okay? I really think we should talk. Bye." I had to resist the urge to say I love you before hanging up. Even after so many years, I still haven't gotten out of that habit.

Maybe he's not answering because I'm not being serious? No, that's not it. I've called him crying before, dying before, and he's never answered.

He isn't coming, he doesn't want to see you again. He doesn't answer you because he doesn't want to talk to you ever again. Not after what you did.

I don't blame him. I deserve this. I don't deserve a second chance after what I did to him.

But I still love him. I've always loved him. I won't stop, not until I die.
~
"Taste it! I spent a whole hour working on it, please?" He held the wooden spoon up to my lips and I hesitantly sipped the soup from it, making a sour face when I tasted it. He made a face as well, a pouty one to show how disappointed he was with his soup. I rolled my eyes and laughed at him.

"Come on, it's not that bad. It just needs a bucket of salt."

"Shut up, Mr. I Can Cook Anything! Not all of us have cooking skills like you do..." He placed the spoon back in his bowl and stared down at it with sad eyes.

I wrapped my arms around his waist and kissed him right underneath his jawline, reaching over the stove and pouring a bit of salt in the soup before pulling away and tasting it again. His eyes looked up to mine for approval, and when I rubbed my stomach and made an 'mmm' sound, his face lit up with happiness.

"You like it?" He asked timidly.

"I love it. May I have a bowl?"
~
When I called the next time, it didn't even ring. It went straight to voicemail, and that alone made my heart shatter to pieces. He doesn't want to hear me apologize. He hates me. He doesn't love me anymore, nor does he want to ever again.
I thought maybe with time, he'd forgive me. That maybe there was still a chance I could fix things and we could be together again, like we used to.

I was only fooling myself. He'll never forgive me.
~
"Who was that?"

"It wasn't anyone! That's what I keep trying to tell you, it was nobody! You're the only one I care about, I'd never go after someone else. I love you."

"Bull shit. Stop lying for once and tell me the truth. Can you do that? Can you actually be honest with me for once in your entire life?"

"I am being honest! You're being irrational! I only love you, I promise. Please listen to me-"

"No. I'm done. This is the last time you're ever gonna do this to me. I gave you a chance to tell the truth and you blew it. I'm leaving."

"No! I promise, I'm not lying! Don't you dare walk out on me when I'm being honest!"

"I'm not letting you break my heart again. I love you, but I can't do this anymore."

I watched him walk away. I didn't know it would be the last time I'd ever see him. I didn't know I'd never hear his voice ever again. I didn't know he was going to disappear from my life forever.

I didn't know I had lost everything.
~
It was getting late. I stopped calling, I stopped hoping, and I really wished I had stopped breathing. He isn't coming, I'd finally come to terms with this fact. I need to go on with my life like he has and forget the past.

I stood from the couch and picked up the sheet, throwing it back on the couch like it had been before. I might as well leave. I shouldn't have come anyways. All it did was bring up past memories that I didn't need refreshed in my mind.
I slid my coat back on and wrapped my scarf around my neck. Though when I tried to tie it, I stopped.

There. I'm done. Was that so bad?

I couldn't stop the tiny sob that escaped my lips at the memory. I did manage to choke back the tears that were trying to come, even though I really wanted them to fall. I can't cry over him anymore. He doesn't cry over me, so I shouldn't either. He's forgotten about me and I should forget about him.

But how can I forget him? I loved him. I still love him. I want to see him again, I want to hear his voice, I want to apologize for everything and beg him to take me back. I'd rather die than go back home and forget him.
And then I heard it. That familiar sound again, the sound of creaking steps. My heart started pounding rapidly as thoughts raced through my head, so many that I felt fainting from them. No. It isn't possible.

The sound of the rusty knob turning sounded through the quiet house, and then more creaking, a doors hinges this time.

And then something else.

"Now viewing voice mail from Tom Cassell," an electronic voice said.

"Hey it's me again. I'm here and I'll be staying for the rest of the day. The house looks just like it did before, dusty and moldy, haha. Um, call me back soon, okay? I really think we should talk. Bye."

My brain allowed me to think properly for one second, which was enough time for me to tell my body to turn around. I didn't have the nerve to look at his face, but I did stare at his shoes. They were his converse, his favorite pair, the ones I'd bought him so many years ago as a birthday present.

"One chance. You have one and only one single damn chance to tell me the truth."

I can't tell you the emotions that ran through me when he spoke, just that there were a million all at once. My breathing stopped and I could've sworn my heart did too. He sounded angry, but I didn't care. Just hearing his voice again and knowing he was right in front of me made me feel like bursting into tears.

"I cheated," I choked out. "I'm so sorry. I regret it so much and...I'll do anything to get you to forgive me. But if...if you don't want to, I understand. Just you being here is...thank you. Thank you so much."

He stayed silent. I let my eyes drift up, and I finally saw him. He was taller and skinnier. He had longer hair, but it was still in a perfect quiff on top of his head. He was wearing all black and it made him look really pale. Or maybe he was actually that pale. I couldn't look him in the eyes. I was afraid. The last time I saw those beautiful brown eyes, they were full of heart break and devastation. I didn't want to see that again.

"If you're going to say sorry, at least look me in the eyes while you do it."

I can't, I'm too afraid. I love you and I don't want you to still have that same look in your eyes. You hated me that day. I don't want to see that hatred again.

But I did it. It felt like years before I met his eyes, but it happened. They weren't filled with hatred or sadness or even annoyance. They were just...blank. There was no emotion in them. There was no emotion anywhere in his face.

"I'm so sorry for everything. I loved you, and I still-"

"Shut up."

I snapped my mouth closed and dropped my eyes to the floor. That's it. That proves it, he doesn't want anything to do with me anymore. He doesn't want to hear my feelings because he's annoyed by them. This time I let the tears stream down my face. I should be ashamed, trying to confess my love again. I'm an idiot.

"How could you-no, how dare you even think of saying that after what you did to me. I was broken, Tom. You broke me. We had everything and you just-...you threw it all away. And for what? A one night stand with some guy at a party? Was I really that worthless to you?"

I didn't answer. You mean everything to me. It was the alcohol, I promise. I would never cheat on you willingly, I loved you. I still love you. I didn't want to cheat on you.

"And after all that, you called me. You called me again and again and again for three years straight and left me these stupid voice mails and-..." He paused for a moment, probably because he was so angry he couldn't form words. I let more tears fall. Stupid voice emails. Why did I leave them? They were stupid. He obviously didn't want to talk to me. I should've left him alone.

"You don't know how worried I was, Tom."

...what?

"You can't just leave me suicide voice mails and not tell me-...I've been to this house three times before because each time you left a stupid suicide voicemail, I came here and hoped to god you were here. You never were. I could never find your damn address, you never showed up on any of my google searches...I couldn't just call you because-because I was scared! I was scared a cop would answer me and say 'sorry, this phone belonged to a man who just killed himself.' And then the next day you'd be perfectly fine and -...god I hate you!" I was shocked when I felt a hand slap me hard on the shoulder, and then another two wrap themselves around my neck. He was hugging me. "You made me worry! Damn you to hell for making me worry so much about your ass..." he sobbed, burying his face into my chest.

"Why didn't you just call me? When I wasn't trying to kill myself?"

"I couldn't just call you! I was trying to forget you! I didn't want anything to do with you and I still don't..." He sniffled and squeezed me tighter.

"Then why did you come?"

"Because I love you too and I don't want to forget you!"

"But-I don't-why are you crying then?!"

"Because I've missed you so much...I've missed this house, I've missed this neighborhood, I've missed our life. I want it back, I want it all back, but we can't-..."

"We still can! I can-"

"No...we can't. I can't be with you after what happened, I can't love you knowing what you did."

"Jordan it was the alcohol, I would never-"

"I don't care what it was...you still did it. I-I can't, I'm sorry. I just...I want you to stop calling me, okay? Stop loving me, stop thinking about me, stop remembering me, just leave me the hell alone. I can't be with you and you need to accept that." He pulled away from my arms and wiped the tears away from his cheeks, putting that same emotionless expression he had on a moment ago back on. It made me sick to my stomach. He can't. He can't leave me again.

"Please don't leave me." I reached for his hand, but he pulled away, a look of anger on his face.

"Don't touch me. Goodbye Tom."

He turned his back and started hurrying down the hallway. No. Not again. I can't, if he leaves I won't make it this time. I have to stop being quiet and tell him what I'm thinking. It's my last chance.

I hurried after him, as fast as my numb legs could carry me. Just tell him, don't hold back. If you hold back he'll leave again and you'll never know.

"We can fix it! I-I can fix up the house! I can get a job, we could get married, we could still have it!" He ran out the door and down the porch steps, but I wasn't about to give up yet.

"I've changed, I've stopped drinking and I've grown up! I can change even more if you'll just give me a chance!"
He opened his car door and got in, and as the car started pulling out, I yelled out my last promise.

"We could still have Rosie!"

The car stopped. Rosie, I know he always wanted a little girl. He never stopped talking about a little girl when we were together. I was always terrified of having children so I always avoided the subject, and eventually he stopped talking about it altogether. But I want that now. I know he still wants that too.

"If you'll stay and let me fix everything, and we get married, I'll go down to the first adoption center I can and get a little girl for you! We can raise her together and we can have a family, like you always wanted! We can have as many kids as you want! I'll be happy either way because they'll be our kids and I'll love them!"

After what felt like forever, the car door finally opened. I watched as he walked back to the house, his face unreadable as he walked up,the porch steps. He looked me right in the eyes and gave me the most menacing look I'd ever seen him use.
"You actually want kids?" He asked in a doubtful tone.

"Yes, I want kids with you."

"And if we get married, you'll actually sign the papers for us to get them?"

"Yes I will, I promise."

He stared at me for a long time. Finally after a long silence, he let out a sigh. "If you even stare at a single man in a funny way or go back on any of these promises, I will leave your ass immediately. Got it?"

"I got it."

"One chance Tom. If you blow this, I will leave."

"I won't. I love you. Thank you so much." I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him against me. He sighed and hugged me back, rubbing my back softly to stop my flow of tears. They were happy tears though. He's staying and he's giving me a second chance.

"I love you too. You were right, this house is molded beyond what I thought," he laughed a little. His laugh was precious to me. I missed it so much.

"I'll fix it. I'll fix everything."

I promise you I'll make it all better again.
~~~~
IM NOT CRYING UR CRYING IM JUST SWEATING THROUGH MY EYES *sobs*

For real I actually did cry a little bit while writing this. Is that bad?

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Thank you!

- Lee