Song: Doll House by Melanie Martinez
~
Champs p.o.v.

It's been a few days since the funeral. It was heartbreaking, to say the least. Jordan never stopped crying and Tom never said a word throughout the entire service. Those of us who didn't know them well grieved too. Anyone lost in the world should be grieved for. It only feels natural and it's the least you can do for that person. Declan held my hand throughout the service and I leaned on his shoulder to keep from collapsing on myself. The guilt was weighing me down like anchors.

Nicky has been a nice distraction from all of this though. I haven't let him out of my sight since we got here, and I've only sat him down once during that time. He's always sat on my hip, giggling about something or playing with my scarf. He sleeps next to me and Declan in our bed and he's quiet as a mouse, but only if you read him a bed time story first. Declan's great for that. He makes silly voices and Nicky loves them. Declan likes him too.

I can't help but think sometimes what a wonderful father he would be. While I laid next to them both in bed, I thought a lot on this. The way he handles children is so delicate, like he treats them as if they're made of glass. Right now, he's cuddling Nicky up to his chest in the gentlest way I've ever seen. The position just looked so...natural, like he was meant to be a father.

Maybe we can be fathers to Nicky.

I'm good with taking care of babies and he's the best at making them happy. Jordan and Tom offered to take care of Nicky if they wanted us to, but...Lola asked me. She could've asked Tom or Jordan or even Wag, but she said my name. She wanted me to raise her baby. I wonder why.

"Can't sleep?" A voice chuckled softly. I glanced up to Declan's eyes, which were full of sleep. I love his sleepy eyes. Is that weird to say about a person? Just the way his eyes blink slowly and how they crinkle at the ends makes my heart melt.

"No not really. Someone is though." I smiled at the small child in between us, sleeping soundly against Declan's chest. Declan smiled down at him and chuckled before looking back to me.

"Are you going to keep him?"

I frowned. That's the exact question I've been asking myself for the past hour. "I-...I don't know. I want to, but...I'm just scared."

He raised a ginger eyebrow at my confession. "Scared of what?"

"Scared of not being good enough for him. Lola wanted me to raise him, but I don't know how to raise a baby..."

"You've been raising a baby for the past week. I'm quite sure you can do it for the rest of your life. Or eighteen years at least."

I gulped. Eighteen years as a parent.

"W-Wouldn't he be better off with Tom and Jordan? They have a kid already, it would be easy for them to take care of him."

Declan shrugged. "If that is what you think is best."

"I don't know what's best!"

"Shh. You'll wake him."

"Help me, I don't know what to do!" I said a bit quieter.

"It's your decision, she did give you full rights to him."

"Ughhh..." I pulled the covers over my head and groaned. Why can't someone just make this decision for me? It would be so much easier.

"Ryley what do you want? With the child, where do you want him to go?" The covers were pulled back, revealing a worried Declan behind them. I want him to be with me of course. Lola asked me, and I feel like I owe that to her. And plus he's a really awesome baby. I've kinda grown on him the last few days.

"Well...I'd like him to stay with me, but-"

"Then keep him with you," he finished softly.

"But I'm not an experienced parent, what if something happens to him and I won't know what to do?"

"We have two experienced parents right next door. I think you will be just fine."

"...would you raise him with me?" It was stupid question, a daringly stupid question. We aren't even officially dating yet and I'm already pressuring him into child commitment. Of course he wouldn't want to raise a baby with me, I shouldn't have even asked him. I already know the answer.

His eyes didn't bulge out of his head like I expected and his jaw didn't drop to the floor. He smiled instead and looked down thoughtfully at Nicky, who was still attached to his side. "I'm unsure of that. He seems quite the baby, hm? Never cries, he's always giggling, and he's simply adorable. Do you think I would be a good father?"

"Yes!" I blurted out way too loudly. "I mean, yeah...you'd be alright." You'd be wonderful, amazing, the best dad ever.

"Do you really think so?" His eyes twinkled.

"Yes, you'd be an awesome father."

"Hm. Okay, I suppose I'll help you raise him. Oh wait, should I go purchase you a ring now?"

"W-What?!" I screeched.

"Well don't we have to be married to have a child together?"

"What?! Who told you that?!"

"It's been that way since I was a child. Have the times changed?"

"Yes! You don't have to be married to raise a baby!"

"Oh. My apologies, I'm quite awkward when it comes to the present traditions. But don't we have to share some sort of bond with one another to raise a child?"

"Well...not necessarily. It's better that way I guess because of communication reasons, but I suppose you don't absolutely have to have a bond..."

"Would you like there to be a bond?"

YES! A MILLION TIMES YES! I want you to be my husband, my partner, my soulmate, the father of my child! "I would."

"Alright. Would you like to be mine Ryley?"

My heart exploded.

"I would love to be yours Decsie."

"Then I pronounce us engaged, until one of us has the nerve to decide when we will actually be married one day. Which is probably a long way off. We may now kiss one another." He puckered his lips in a goofy fashion and I laughed quietly, only to lean over and peck them. I guess I'm engaged now.

YES! YES! YES!

"Tell me when you would like that ring of yours and I'll get right on it. Do you like diamonds?"

"I don't need diamonds when I have you." That sounded way cheesier out loud than inside my head. He laughed though, before pressing another kiss to my forehead.

"Goodnight Ryley. Sweet dreams."

"No I love you?"

"You're quite needy aren't you? Alright, I love you. Very much. Goodnight."

"...another kiss?"

"Goodness Ryley!" He exclaimed exasperated, making a certain baby wake up and start fussing. I sat up immediately and pulled him into my arms to begin rocking him and luring him back to sleep. He was out like a light in two minutes flat.

"And you were worried about being a parent," Delcan snickered.

I stuck my tongue out at him. "Shut up."

~

Sonja's p.o.v.

"I'm really worried about them is all. They looked so drained and exhausted this morning at training, and they never said a word the entire time!" I know they can't be handling Lola and Tiffs deaths well, yet neither of them has spoken a word about it since we found out the news. Oh god. That day was terrible. We were right in the middle of training when Dec called and...why did it have to be Jordan he called? I'll never forget the look on his face, the grief, it's just one of those things that stick in your head forever. He had it on speaker and we all heard the news, but he himself was affected the most by it. He fell onto his knees sobbing, and it took Tom hours to calm him down.

They haven't said a word to us or each other around us since then.

"It's understandable Sonj. Those guys were really close. And having them die in such a gruesome way didn't help matters. They're fine, they're just grieving or whatever. And if you ask me, Mot shouldn't train them when they're like that. They act like robots and it's disturbing." Tucker patted the spot on the couch for me to sit, but I knew I couldn't sit down. I pace when I'm nervous or worried, it's a really bad habit. If I sit down I'll just get right back up in a matter of seconds.

They do act like robots now. When Mot gives them orders, they immediately follow them without blinking. It's strange. It's like somebody's sucked the life right out of them and replaced their souls with machines. Okay maybe that's exaggerating it a bit, but my point is they act like robots now.

"I feel like someone should talk to them though...they're miserable. Even Rosie looks miserable and she's always happy." I walked over to our window, where we could see their house across from ours. It was dark. We just got back from training and it's already dark over there. They couldn't have gone to bed already.

"We should mind our own business and let them be sad. Come sit and eat grilled cheese with me."

"I'm gonna go talk to them," I decided. "It can't hurt to have a conversation with them about how they're doing." I grabbed my coat off the hanger and slid it on, my eyes still glued to the house over.

"Sonja-"

"Shut up," I snapped at him, throwing the door open shortly after. "I'll be back in a few. Eat your damn grilled cheese while I'm gone." And then I slammed the door shut. I jogged over to the house across from ours, up the porch steps and up to the door, and I was about to knock when I noticed the door was standing wide open.

That's not good.

I pushed it open, enough to where I could easily slip in without making much noise. Please don't be what I think it is. Please. I can't take any more deaths. I tip toed down the hallway and towards their bedroom. Their house had the exact same layout of ours, minus the small room built on for Rosie. Every light in the house was off and I couldn't hear a single thing except eerie silence. The bedroom door was closed, which made the queasy feeling in my stomach worse. After taking in a few breaths and clenching and unclenching my fists a lot, I finally worked up enough courage to yank the door open.

Jordan jumped a little, obviously startled by the sudden intrusion. Tom was on the other side of him, laying completely still except for the rising of his chest every few seconds. Oh. They're okay.

"Sonja? What's wrong, why are you here?" He whispered, wiping the sleep from his eyes. Oh. He spoke. I think I over thought lot of this.

I blushed sheepishly and scratched the back of my head. "I just came to check on you guys. Didn't know you went to bed so early now."

He blinked a few times, before sighing and letting his shoulders sag. "Yeah. Training tires us out pretty well. Was there something else you needed?" He was shirtless, I realized. Tom was too. And there were several layers of clothing scattered all around the bed. I'm guessing training isn't the only thing that tires them out pretty well. That doesn't make much sense though. They're doing the do while grieving? I would think your friends deaths would put you in such a bad mood that you couldn't do that stuff.

"I wanted to talk. Are you guys okay? Really, are you doing okay? Is the anything we can do to help you-"

"We're fine Sonja. We're getting better."

"Then why haven't you guys been talking lately? I haven't heard you speak a single word all week except for right now. What's up with that?"

"There's just...nothing to say anymore. At least that's what I see. Not sure why he isn't talking that much." He motioned to Tom, who was still lightly snoring as he clutched his bundle of sheets.

"Jordan there are tons of things to say. I know you have tons of things to say. Be real with me, what's going on?"

He looked back to Tom, but this time with a different look on his features. Worry, the bags under his eyes and the worry wrinkles on his forehead show that. "He's depressed Sonja," he whispered, voice wavering slightly. "I don't know what to do. I've tried everything. He won't talk to me anymore. He just...exists."

Depression. I am definitely not good in that area. "Oh...what kinda stuff have you tried?" I asked awkwardly.

"Everything. I tried cooking his favorite foods, playing with Rosie, having sex with him...well, attempted having sex with him."

I almost snorted, but I knew it wasn't an appropriate time given that he was on the brink of a melt down. "What's the story behind that?"

"He pushed me off and turned over. It put a major dent in my confidence, definitely." He rolled his eyes and laughed bitterly, wiping a stray tear that had escaped his watering eyes. "But I understand. He's not in the mood. I wasn't either, but...I was just trying to help."

"Maybe Decs got some medicine for depression?" I suggested.

"I already asked. He left his medicine bag back in Dagrun."

"Ah. Well I'm not sure what else to say. I'm not very good with solving depression."

"I'm not either. I don't know what to do."

I decided to take a seat on the bed since we were both whispering so quietly we could barely hear each other. I sat down slowly, careful not to wake up the sleeping zombie beside of us. "Well...Mot shouldn't make you both go to training until Tom gets better. Being miserable isn't gonna help him improve."

"He's improving a lot actually. Wizard Tom is doing a really good job of training him with spells. I'm guessing he likes it. He hasn't really said otherwise." He chuckled, but it was forced and obviously fake. He shouldn't have to fake happiness.

"Is Mot pretty hard on you?"

He shrugged. "I can handle it."

"Can you?"

"Yes."

"You're sure?"

"No I hate it." He put his head in his hands. "I hate training with Mot. I hate it so much. But I need to learn how to fight and he's the best at it."

"You want a few days off, don't you? For Tom and for your own sake?"

"Yeah. I know it'll never happen though. Mots strict about missing training lessons."

"He wouldn't say no to a sad little girl, would he?" I grinned, hint he would catch my drift. He did eventually, and a grin similar to mine broke out on his face.

"You think he'd say yes if Rosie asked?"

"Definitely. He's got a soft spot for kids, especially her. You can tell he melts every time she calls him uncle Mot." He probably misses his own daughter, maybe that's why. I couldn't imagine what it would feel like to have your kid ripped away from you. I've never had kids, but I can imagine it would be pretty tough.

He chuckled quietly and nodded. "I'll tell her the plan tomorrow. Though I have no idea what I'm gonna do for him if we get the days off. Theres nothing else I feel like I can do." I didn't notice his hand on Toms blanketed hip until his eyes trailed down to it and I looked to see what he was staring at. The wedding ring he wore on his hand just made the moment all the more sentimental.

I want that.

When I'm sick or messed up in the head, I want Tucker to do that for me. I want him to hold my hand, cuddle me, kiss me with real passion and do wonderful things for me. Instead he just complains about everything and demands I make him grilled cheese all the time. Ugh.

"Things will get better. At least that's what everyone tells me." I shrugged. He nodded, eyes never leaving Toms sleeping form.

"I hope so."
~~~
I'm sorry I haven't updated and I left you guys on that huge cliffhanger xD

I've kinda gotten writers block for this book and it's been really hard to get out of it. I'm trying though! Don't give up on me yet guys! XD

If you enjoyed the chapter please leave me a favorite or a comment! I love you all and I hope you have a wonderful day!

Bye!

- Lee