SABI nila kapag daw mas hinigpitan natin ang pagkakahawak mas masakit ang magiging pag bitiw natin. Pero paano kung sa bawat higpit ng hawak natin sa isang bagay ay mas lalo tayong nabibigyan ng pag-asa na baka may magbago pa, na baka mas makita tayo, na baka . . . baka makuha na natin kung ano ang gusto natin.

"I'm craving some strawberries and mangoes." nakangusong ani ng bunso naming kapatid na si Ciana.

"Nayyy . . . edi pumunta ka may paa ka naman." pilosopong sagot ni Kuya Ace na ikinasama naman ng mukha nito.

"Sige nga try mo lakarin mula rito sa Manila hanggang Baguio at Cebu." walang kwentang sabi ni Ciana. Halatang nang-aasar lang pabalik.

"Ayos natin kausap ah, 'di kita ihatid bukas e." pananakot nito nainikutan lang ng mata ni Ciana.

"Nye . . . nye . . ."

"That's it. Mag commute ka." pinal na sabi ni Kuya Ace at binuntunan pa ng tawa na siyang ikinangisi ko.

Nice one.

Nagpatuloy pa ang bangayan nila hanggang sa dessert. Wala ang mga magulang namin ngayon sa kadahilanang kailangan nilang um-attend sa salo-salo kasama ang ilang investors.

"Excuse me, I want to rest early today so I won't tag along until you finish dessert," I said as I stood up from my seat.

Isa lang ang flight ko ngayon balikan pero iba ang pagod ko lalo pa at traffic kanina pauwi.

Pagpasok ko sa kwarto ay nag-ayos muna ako ng mga gamit para bukas. Nang sumapit ang alas nuebe ng gabi ay natapos na ako kaya naman tumawag ako sa tito ko.

"Tito Art?"

"Yes, my prettiest Kairi?" Tito Art inquired on the other line. I bet he's smiling from ear to ear now.

"Uh, I just want to inform you that I will use one of our planes tomorrow. I'll just pay for the gas." I offered.

Ilang minuto ang lumipas ay hindi pa rin ito nagsasalita sa kabila akala ko ay naputol o pinatayan na ako ng tawag.

"Tito?" I nagged.

"A-ah, yes, yes. May I ask kung saan ka pupunta and what will you do?" turan nito na ikinangisi ko. He will let me.

Tito Art is just overprotective to me maybe because he always wanted a child that's a girl and I am the first-born girl in the family kaya hindi talaga mapagkakaila na close kami sa kahit anong aspeto. Kung tutuusin mas mukha pa kaming mag-ama kumpara sa tatay ko talaga.

"I'll just buy something and I'm craving for it."

"Hmm . . . then how about iutos na lang natin?" he inquired.

"But I want to pick it up personally and hindi ako mapapakali kung iba pa ang gagawa."

"Then, I'll ready the plane by tomorrow. I will also ask the head to assist you as well as another pilot." tito said with conviction.

A cue that I can't do anything about it, so I just agreed and ended the call.

KINABUKASAN ay maaga akong nagising at nag-ayos. Hindi na ako kumain pa ng almusal dahil isang oras at kalhati rin ang gugugulin ko papuntang airline.

Ang suot ko ay slacks lang at putting t-shirt para komportable ako sa pagpapalipad ng eroplanong gagamitin ko.

Gaya ng sabi ni Tito Art sa telepono ay inasist nga ako ni Sir Guzman pagkarating ko.

"Ito po 'yong eroplano na inihanda ni Sir Guzman. Pinapasabi din po pala niya na may makakasama po kayo sa byahe. Don't worry Captain Ibáñez the pilot that will assist you throughout the whole flight is one of the assets we have."

"Yeah, tito informed me about it. Thank you, Sir Guzman." pagpapasalamat ko. Tumango lang ito at nagpaalam na sa akin dahil marami pa siyang gagawin.

Pagpasok ko sa aircraft ay tinignan ko muna ang controls kahit pa alam kong na check na ito. Hindi ako komportable na may ibang taong gumagawa nito para sa akin lalo pa at ako ang magpapalipad ng aircraft.

I also set the music while waiting for my co-pilot to arrive. To my youth by Bolbbalgan4. This song. My comfort song at all times. Even though I listened to it thousand times it still gives me the comfort that I need.

I used to wonder when I would be able to glimpse the light, or if it would be better if I just died.

aleumdabge aleumdabdeon geu sijeol-eul nan apaso

In retrospect, no one was really there during my achievements. I mean well . . . there's Tito Art but it wasn't enough I always thought that being recognized by your biological father was far different from being recognized as a niece. I can recall it all vividly.

Forcing myself to study aviation kahit pa halos isuka ko na ito dahil hindi ako pu-pwedeng maging designer. I don't have a choice or maybe I do yet I choose this because I am afraid of judgments. I am afraid of failing and not being able to rise up again. My sister, Ciana, is a veterinarian, and my brother, Ace is a lawyer. Ano namang panlaban ko sa kanila? I am having a difficulty catching up. Kung noon pakiramdam ko ako ang pinakamagaling sa aming lahat nagbago lahat ng pananaw ko noong tumungtong ako ng high school I realized that they are much better than me.

But . . . if ever what they said is true. If a multiverse exists, I hope there's a version of me who pursued design. I hope there's a version of me who's not afraid of judgment and a version of me who's not afraid to fall and to fail.

sigan-i yag-ilaneun mal-i naege jeongmal maideolago

It wasn't true. I was never a believer that the pain you've had will be cured over time. Because my heart becomes heavier with the passage of time. I have the impression that the people who know you will just look at you when you fall, and they will not help you at all. They will just watch you suffer on your own.

How severe is the pain? How did I overcome all those on my own? How did I win all those quiet battles?

"Miss?" I stopped. A baritone, cold yet calm voice spoke behind me and so I wipe my face hurriedly.

I smiled. "You are?"

"I am the pilot Sir Art assigned. Captain Firth Andrade is the name." pagpapakilala niya.

I nodded; he looks gorgeous.

I extended my hand for a handshake. "I am Captain Kairi Ibáñez."

He accepted my hand making me smile at him more. His and was soft.

"Just wait for a bit, I'll check the control and the plane first."

"No need. I already checked." I said making him look at me with a stunned face which I just returned with a smile.

Halos sabay kaning nagsuot ng sunglasses dahil sikat na ang araw at medyo masakit na rin ito sa mata. We just send signals at each other and waited for a couple of minutes before we take-off.

WHEN we arrived at Cebu, I immediately got my tote bag at nauna ring bumaba sa aircraft. Ilang minuto ang lumipas ngunit wala pa rin si Captain Andrade na ikinapagtaka ko.

Naghintay pa ako ng ilan pang minuto pero wala pa rin kaya umakyat ulit ako. Nakita ko siyang nakaupo sa loob ng cockpit, nag ta-type sa cellphone.

"Uhm . . . hindi ka pa bababa?" I inquired. He looks like he doesn't have any interest dahil hindi pa rin siya gumagalaw sa pagkakaupo kahit pa nakita niya akong nakatayo sa gilid niya.

"Sasama pa ba ako?" he asked. Obviously dumbfounded.

"Of course! You also need to chill out. Balita ko isa ka sa assets ng airline. Ang dami mo sigurong ginagawa."

"Okay," he responds not giving any comment to what I was blurting out.

Maybe weirded out by me. Feeling close kasi ang pag-approach ko.

Bago pa siya mag-salita ulit ay agad ko na siyang hinila papalabas hanggang sa maka-sakay kami ng taxi ay hawak-hawak ko siya. Bumitiw lang ako noong napuna ko.

PEOPLE are looking at him when we arrived sa bilihan ng mga pasalubong.

Matangkad si Captain Andrade at moreno idagdag mo pa na naka-uniform siya kaya naman eye-candy talaga siya.

"Wala ho bang tawad?" I asked. I was taught about this part lalo na ng mga katulong namin sa bahay.

Mission #1 when buying: Always ask for a discount. Lalo pa kung marami naman ang kukunin mo.

"Sige, one-thousand-eight hundred sa 'yo hija."

"Maraming salamat po!" I said happily as she stated to pack my order. I also look around and found some goods na sa tingin ko ay masarap naman, so I bought them.

"How about you? Hindi ka bibili?" I inquired at Captain Andrade who was just standing beside me acting like my bodyguard. He's not even looking at the goods they sell.

"No." he shortly answered.

Nanatili pa kami saglit sa store dahil medyo marami rin ang bumibili.

"Tara na. I'm done." I said smiling cutely dahil kanina pa iritado ang mukha niya sa mga babaeng kumukuha ng litrato niya.

Just like what we did earlier, pumara kami ng taxi at nagpahatid sa airline pagtapos ay nag check ng controls and so as the aircraft. We waited for another couple of minutes before we take-off again.

"Where do you want to eat?" I inquired. Initiating the conversation.

Lagpas na rin kasi ng tanghali at pagdating namin sa Baguio ay maaring alas tres na ng hapon.

"Kahit saan. I'm not really picky when it comes to food. Just not the exotic one." sagot nito na ikinatango ko naman.

"Hmm . . . saan makikita ang restaurant na 'kahit saan'?" pamimilosopo ko na ikinakunot ng noo nito. Cute.

Bumuntonghininga siya bago nagsalita ulit. "How about street foods?"

"What's that? I think I heard that before but I'm not sure." I said then looked at him para ma-explain niya sakto naman na nakatingin din pala siya sa akin.

"Mayaman things, slay! yeheyy!" he whispered pero dahil magkatabi lang kami ay rinig ko 'yon.

"Hindi ako mayaman ha! hindi lang talaga pumapayag si dad na kumain kami ng mga ganyan na foods."

"Then, try it now. Hindi kita isusumbong." pangungumbinsi nito.

I'm tempted.

"No . . ." paninindigan ko.

He tilted his head and looked at me again.

"Eat secretly, I'll join you." pangungulit pa nito.

Bad Influence.

"I don't want to. My dad would be mad . . ." I whispered.

"Ahh . . . look, we're arriving."

In the queue he made I stopped thinking if I should eat street food or not.

"Bring your luggage with you." aniya at ibinigay sa akin ang maleta kong maliit.

"Huwag na, saglit lang naman tayo." pagtanggi ko.

Hindi naman necessary na dalhin ang lahat ng gamit ko dahil bibili lang naman kami ng strawberries.

Gaya ng nakagawian ay pumara kami ng taxi at nagpahatid sa Strawberry Farm. Yes. I want to pick those little strawberries myself.

"Are you sure okay lang na mamaya na tayo kumain?" I inquired dahil sobrang late na for lunch.

"Yep! do your thing first. Punta tayong night market mamaya to eat," he answered making me smile.

Ngayon lang kami nagkasama but I already felt comfortable around him.

Habang nasa byahe ay sinasabayan ko ang tugtog sa radio si Captain Andrade naman ay nag ha-hum. I liked it. I like this feeling.

CLAIREJXSM | 🍁🍁🍁