Chapter One: After Happily Ever After

WHEN I came about, a sea of greens is lurking beneath me, well-lawned and tended. There is a shadow cast above me, almost like a gigantic being with wings unfolded to keep me protected from the blazing sun. And as those wings flapped, a surge of gentle wind blew, swinging my sight down. On my lap is a hardbound copy of The Little Prince, its colorful cover resembling the wonders of the hidden gardens only accessible to the allies of the Clan of Light.

Kakatwang kahit na ba sa taas ng tirik ng araw, sa mayabong na pag-usbong ng mga bulaklak, at masiglang pagkanta ng mga ibon ay isang gabi kung saan lumuluha ang buwan ng dugo ang patuloy na nanghihimasok sa panaginip ko. Animo'y nanunudyo ang tadhana na hindi ako nababagay sa liwanag matapos ng lahat ng ginawa ko at tanging ang dilim lamang ang yayakap sa 'kin nang buong-buo.

Geez. Is this what I get for falling in love with my brother's wife?

"Gising ka na pala, sleeping beauty," I heard a familiar sarcastic tone say.

"No doubt of that. I'm awake and still a beauty to behold," I replied with a grin. "Bakit nandito ka pa, hmm? Hindi ba't uuwi ka na?"

Alex sighed. "Uuwi na ba talaga ko?"

"Ba't ako ang tinatanong mo?" nang-aasar na balik ko bago ko tuluyang itayong muli ang sarili. "Mamaya hunting-in pa ko ni kuya kapag hindi ka bumalik sa kaniya at sa mga anak ninyo." Pinagpagan ko ang suot kong pantalon, hinihintay ang tugon ng babaeng kilala sa pagiging matabil ang dila mula pa sa murang edad.

Subalit wala akong natanggap na katulad ng inaasahan ko. I turned and looked up at the olive tree branch where she always loved to sit upon. An aching throb in my chest is what I got when I found her ashen eyes boring into mine, serious and sincere. Ah, shit. Heto na naman.

"Hindi ka ba talaga sasama sa 'kin na bumalik?" mahinang aniya bagama't ilang araw nang iisang sagot lang ang nakukuha niya sa 'kin.

"Pang-ilang tanong mo na 'yan?" natatawa kong tanong kahit na ba wala akong maramdaman ni katiting na saya na maiiwan na naman akong mag-isa.

At si Alexandria, maaaring nakayuko siya't napupuno ng lungkot mula sa kunot ng noo hanggang sa pagkagat ng ibabang labi niya, ngunit may saya siya. Hindi lang 'yon katiting. Namumutawi ang saya niya pero ayaw niya ipahalata. Gusto kong ipakita niya sa 'kin ang sayang 'yon pero aaminin ko, magiging masakit na sampal pa rin 'yon. Kasi hindi ako ang dahilan ng saya na 'yon. Kahit kailan ay hindi magiging ako.

Huminga ako nang malalim, batid na ito na ang ending. "Wala kang dapat ikaawa, ikalungkot, o ikahingi ng tawad, Mrs. Spade William Vantress." Idiniin ko ang pangalan ni kuya, isang paalala kung kaninong Vantress siya nakatali nang panghabang-buhay. "You don't have to feel guilty about a man who almost messed up your dream because he momentarily succumbed to his own wicked desires."

Silence stood for several seconds after that. We knew what happened better than what we pretended it to be. Both of us recognized that, and we agreed that parting ways is the best antidote for the kind of disease I carry alone.

"Still... You don't have to stay here," she shook her head. "Pamilya mo rin sila. Mga kaibigan mo rin sila. Bahay mo rin 'yon."

A smile crept onto my face. "I know."

"Then why? Pwede naman nating linisin ang pangalan mo. Hindi lang naman ikaw ang nagplano nito!"

"What I did, regardless of intention, cannot be undone. The moment I embraced the Brooven name, I threw away being a Vantress. And the Underground will never feel safe with a former Onyx judge lurking around."

"Hindi ka matatalang bayani sa kasaysayan sa balak mong gawin," komento niya nang may naluluha na namang mga mata. Halos bumaon ang mga kuko niya sa makapal na sangang kinauupuan.

Hindi ito ang unang beses na pinag-usapan namin ang mangyayari pagtapos ng 'ending.' Higit kaninuman, alam naming ito ang kahihinatnatan ng mga plinano namin. Pero ang hirap pala, ano? Kapag nandito ka na sa tuldok. Kapag wala nang kuwit o ellipse para mapahaba pa ang narasyon.

"I never intended to be a hero for you, Alex," I pointed out with a smirk. "I only wanted you to get your happily ever after because that's what everyone deserves to have after going through so much." And I mean that with all my heart and soul. She had enough suffering for a lifetime. It's time for her to be happy now. Truly happy without any restriction of time or disease. That's all I intended to give her when I was doing everything I did.

Pumayuko siyang lalo sa mga narinig, marahil ay napagtantong wala ng kataga ang makapagpapabago sa isip ko. "Paano ka?" nanghihina niyang kwestiyon. "It felt like all these years, I only keep receiving from you. Wala ka namang nahita sa plano na 'to. Rather, it took everything from you. I took everything away from you to gain my life back."

And when her voice trails off, I knew. I knew she was simply preventing herself to let out a sob. I knew from how she ducked her head deeper that she was hiding her tears. I knew from how her toes curled that she was keeping herself from jumping down and punching me to enlightenment.

"I'm sorry... and thank you. I don't deserve you, Sean," Alex mumbled in difficulty with a sniffle. "I'm really s-sorry."

Napabuntong-hininga ako, may impit na tuwa na kahit papaano, may marka akong maiiwan sa kaniya. Kahit 'yon lang. The years we've spent together were fun if we're going to leave the part that we shoved the Underground onto chaos. We had our fair share of secrets and adventures that no one can replace or bury. The long nights when we'd ask each other whether we regret starting this or not. The heavy rainfalls when we'd just sit close to the fireplace and reminisce her days in Mhorfell Academy and me with my family. The sunny days when we'd simply walk around and picture our lives if we weren't born as we were. The cold afternoons when I'd solemnly sit behind her door as she cries for missing everyone.

I might long for every bit of what once was, but sooner or later, I have to wake up. There were no more regrets to contemplate over because the plan was over. There were no more secrets and adventures to make because she was returning to where she really belonged. There was no more need to reminisce because she will finally be with the people who she spent those memories with. There was no more imagining our lives if we weren't born as we were because she's going to live it. She will. And lastly, there were no more tears to weep because I'm confident those idiots would never let her go ever again.

The villain, the Onyx Council's judge, has accomplished his purpose.

"Tinanong mo ko kung uuwi ka na ba talaga... at oo, uuwi ka na. Pasensya na at napatagal, kaibigan." Halos pumiyok ako sa nag-iisang salita na naglalarawan kung ano lang kami para sa isa't isa. "Totoo na 'to, hindi panaginip lang tulad noon. Sana huwag mo na 'kong alalahanin pa. Simula ngayon, ikaw at sila lang ang isipin mo. Kaya ko naman ang sarili ko." Ganoon naman lagi. This time won't be any different. I will survive as I always do.

"I wish you can have your happily ever after, too." The wind glazes over us again and everything danced in waves. Her blonde locks swayed into nature's rhythm and it ultimately allowed me a glimpse of her ashen eyes for the last time.

And for the last time, I vowed to myself. This will be the last time that my heart will skip a beat because of you. The next shall beat for my sake alone.

"Sean Kyle Brooven-Vantress, my friend, my accomplice, I sincerely hope you can find your rose," Alexandria almost yelled for the whole field to hear, smiling from ear to ear. "I really do."

Napasulyap ako sa librong hawak ko at mapait na ngumiti. "Bakit kayo ni kuya nagkita kaagad sa pagkabata habang ako mukhang kailangan pang libutin ang ilang planeta? Plot advantage ba 'yon sa mga bida?" biro ko na siyang ikinahagikgik ng babae.

Tumingala akong muli sa kaniya, 'di inda ang katotohanang baka ito na ang huli naming pagkikita sa tanang buhay naming dalawa. "Alagaan mo ang blood pressure ni kuya. Walang ritemed d'on. Tiyak akong mababalisa na 'yon lagi sa tuwing wala ka sa paningin niya. Ikumusta mo na lang din ako sa mga pamangkin ko. Ihingi mo rin ako ng tawad sa lahat, ha?" pagpapagaan ko sa usapan nang sa ganoon, maging magaan din ang mga yapak niya sa pagputok ng umaga bukas.

"Tumawag ka paminsan-minsan, ha? Kahit sa tuwing pasko o bagong-taon lang. Huwag kang mahihiyang humingi ng kahit anong kailangan mo. You deserve everything, Sean. The whole Underground owes you big time. Remember that." Sa pagkakataong ito, hindi na itinago pa ni Alex ang pangalawang bugso ng luha at hikbi.

At bago pa magkaroon ng pangatlo o bago pa may mabuong pagdadalawang-isip sa loob-loob ko, napagdesisyunan kong ako na mismo ang tatapos ng sinimulan ko.

Hinigpitan ko ang kapit sa librong hawak at buong resolbang tiningnan siya, handa na sa kasunod ng kwentong tinulungan kong mabigyan ng masayang wakas. "Salamat sa lahat, Alexandria Cromello-Vantress. Dito na tayo nagtatapos. Ito na ang wakas para sa 'ting dalawa. Paalam. Hanggang sa muli."

Sana nasasabi rin sa libro kung ano ang mangyayari sa isang karakter na hindi bida sa pagsasarado ng kwento. Dahil ngayong tapos na ang parte ko, paano na 'ko?

***

"To forget a friend is sad. Not everyone has had a friend."

The Little Prince, Antoine de Saint-Exupéry