Type POV

Is it really wrong to talk ad be curious about our exes? I'm just curious! Also, can he blame me for asking him! He has all of these past relationships I'm not included in, so can he blame me for wanting to know everything that happened in his past. I really want to know! But sadly, because of that past, I can't help but be jealous again, especially of his first love! There is a part of me that can't take it knowing that there is a part of his life that he loves another person so much that until now, I can see that person still impacts him. I can see it in his eyes! She is his first! His every first!

I wanted not to be jealous because it's his past already, I do, but I still can't help it! Gosh! What the hell is wrong with me! Every day, my fear is getting higher and higher! Fear that Tharn might give up on me and this jealousy of mine!

That he will realize! He deserves better than being stuck with someone like me in his life.

Author POV

Abby: Wow! You're so gorgeous tonight, ah! Are you going to Tharn?

Type: Ahh, Yes! Tharn and I are going on a date! It's our 3rd anniversary!

Abby: Wow! Tharn is really amazing! Especially his patience! See, he is still in a relationship with you despite (Type didn't let her finish)

Type: Abby! You're so OA ahh! I love him, so I think I deserve this!

Abby: Yes, you deserve this, but later, you will be in a fight with him because of something you see and get jealous about! Gosh, Type! Can you please change that attitude of yours, even just for a little! Just tone it down! I'm afraid if you continue to do this, you will lose him! Friend! Someone like Tharn is so rare in this world already! Please don't make him give up on you!

Type: Of course! I already know all of that, do you think I wanted to be this way! Do you think I also wanted to be jealous of me! I'm telling you, baby. I don't! It's so exhausting and stressful, but can you blame me! I love him too much! I don't want to lose him.

Abby: You are not going...

She wasn't able to finish her words

Beep! Beep! Beep

Type and Abby saw Tharn's arrival to fetch Type for their date. Type became so happy again and excited. He looks at his friend again and happily speaks.

Type: Gosh! He is here, friend! I'm so excited!

Abby smiled as he saw the big smile on his best friend's face.

Abby: I can obviously see it. Okay! Be careful! Remember what I told you!

Type: (laughs a little) I know!

Abby: Haha, okay! Enjoy!

With that, Type instantly left his friend to run to his boyfriend, who welcomed him with a big smile on his face holding a bouquet of flowers. Type happily receives it. Tharn hugged him and gave him a peck on his lips.

~~~

Setting: Romantic restaurant near the bay walk. The view of the sea beside them is superb

Type: Thank you for a romantic dinner, babe! The background music is so relaxing! Did you choose this?

Tharn: Yes! I remember you always love hearing this kind of instrumental song, so I choose this, but the setup, the restaurant organizes it.

Type: Oh! Gosh! It's a dream come true for us, babe! I always want to go to restaurants like this. Thank you so much!

Tharn: Anything for you, babe! Oh, I almost forgot! Flower for my beautiful baby here!

Type: Thank you, babe! You always knew what I liked! Like what Abby said, you are really amazing!

Tharn: Of course, Happy 3rd Anniversary, baby!

Type: Happy 3rd Anniversary too! Thank you so much for loving me, no matter how imperfect I am for you!

Tharn: No, baby! Never say that about yourself! I should be the one thanking you! You're the one who is too perfect for me! I'm so lucky to be able to be your boyfriend and have this moment with you. I love you so much, baby!

Type: I love you too! Oh, speaking of the restaurant, how did you know this place? Is someone recommended this place to you?

Tharn: Ahh, nothing! I have already been here before. Actually, this place improved so much compared to before. They added more flowers. They changed the (Type didn't let him finish)

Hearing this, Type's mood instantly changes from happiness to being confused.

Type: Wait! Wait! Have you already been here before?

Tharn: Yes, Maybe five years ago?

Tharn casually answered him; type got a hint already about what happened here and who is he with judging by this place is so romantic. Perfect for couples, but he tried to bury these hints and still ask his boyfriend

Type: Ahh, who are you with?

Tharn: Ahh, Erica!

Type: Who is Erica?

Type face goes down and becomes severe. Tharn doesn't seem to notice it.

Tharn: My Ex! But we only eat that time, that is it!

Type: Ahh, so, you've been here before? With your ex?

Tharn: Yes?

Type: Did you enjoy each other company here? (Sound sarcastic)

Tharn: Yes, the food here is good!

Type: It's good to know that you enjoyed yourself with your ex! I hope too!

Tharn: Wait! What do you mean?

Type: Nothing! After our food, can you bring me home? I suddenly felt sick!

Tharn: Wait? Are you okay?

Type: Yes! I'm really okay! I feel so great! Excuse me! I'm going to the rest room (He sounded pissed)

But before Type could even stand from his seat, Tharn was already holding his wrist to stop him.

Tharn: Wait! I know that look and voice again! Are you angry with me again?

Type: Nothing! Why are you persistent!

You can hear from Type's voice that he is really pissed already.

Tharn: What nothing? Can you tell me the truth!

Type: I said nothing! It's nothing! Can you let this go? (Sounded angry)

Tharn: Type! Please! Tell me what's wrong! You are making me look like an idiot here!

Type: You want to know what's the issue here? Here! I will tell you! You and this place are my problems! What the hell did you think that you brought me here! The place where you and your ex have been before! Tell me, what do you think would I feel!

Tharn can help but to roll his eyes hearing what Type had said to him. He can't believe he's hearing this from Type, especially today. Is it their Anniversary?

Tharn: God! Here we go again! You're getting pissed with some none sense things! You are jealous of people who do not exist in my life
anymore! For God's sake, Type! What the hell is wrong with you! Are we really going to go through this again! Really? Today?

Type also was shocked by Tharn's words. He feels like Tharn does not understand him. He feels neglected.

Type: This is a big deal for me, Tharn! I don't want you to remember the things that happen to you in the past, especially the things that you and your ex have been through when you are with me. The fact that you even brought me here is a very proof already that your memories with your exes still linger in your mind because if not! You will never get me here. I feel like you are only doing things that you have missed that you and your ex are doing before. I feel like a rebound here! Am I, Tharn? Am I a rebound?

Tharn: Jesus, Type! What the hell are you saying now! Rebound? What rebound? Why would you ever think that! Type, please! Can you please even just once! Can't you stop being jealous of these nonsense things? You are tiring! I'm so tired! Anything that I'm doing, you're getting angry! Even if I'm just talking to someone, especially girls, you are mad! You are always looking for reasons to be angry at me! Tell me, Type! Do you still love me?

Type: (Type started to cry) I love you so much, Tharn! Can you see it! I love you so much. That's why I'm like this! Yes, I admit! I'm jealous. I'm insecure! Do you want to know why? It's because I'm so afraid that there is a time that you will realize that you deserve more, rather than being with a gay like me! That because your world is getting bigger and bigger, then you meet someone who is really better than me, then you will come to choose that person instead of me! I don't want to lose you! You are my world and my everything! I'm afraid if someone in your past came back, you'll choose her instead of me. Also, is my jealous invalid to you! Do you think it is your fault, too, for giving me a reason to be jealous about it? Because you don't! I don't think we will have this problem at all!

Tharn: If you really love me! You wouldn't feel and think like that! You should have trusted me! You would never have those bad those that I will leave you, or you are just a rebound because I know myself Type! I know I'm doing everything to show you that you are the only one I love! Only you, Type! But seeing how you keep acting like that, you are making me feel like a failure! A failure to make you feel secure about us. You are showing me that what I'm doing is not enough! Am I Type? Am I?

Tharn said to Type, sounding so frustrated. He doesn't know what to do anymore to change these views of his Type. He tried his best to make Type feel secure about them, but he felt like his effort was all in vain and useless.

Type saw that he started panic but for him. He needs to defend his feeling and show Tharn that his feelings are valid too! That Tharn needs to hear him too!

Type: I'm trying my best to change, but I really can't! This is me! This Type Miranda that you choose to be with! I'm always afraid to lose you! To be left behind! To be cheated! I'm going to be crazy if that happens to me! I can't lose you! I just can't!

TO BE CONTINUED
WAANJAIMJORA