This one is from my BL oneshot collection. I'll just transfer it here

Dear Diary,

As usual, my day is happy and sad. Happy coz I ace all my exam. Top scorer as always. My position as a top honor in our department is secured. Also, I saw him. My crush, Mew. He is with his girl, Marlene. I'm happy that I saw him after my exam, I'm just sad he is with his girlfriend. Actually, there is nothing new about that anymore. She's his girl. It is normal to see them together. It's just that my heart seems abnormal. It keeps on giving me a new feeling of pain every time is see them.

I let out a deep sigh. I close my diary at put it inside my bag. This diary serves as my best friend also, since I'm an introvert person. That's why I always keep it with me. All my secrets are written there. Though no one will read it at home even if leave it here, I really don't like the idea that it will be far from me for too long.

I lay down on my bed and starred at the ceiling. Mew's face immediately appeared on my head.

Mew Suppasit. Campus heartthrob, boy next door, dean lister, varsity player, campus basketball team consistent mvp, singer, musician, theater performer. He's kind and rich. He's an epitome of perfect man, as his other admirer described him.

He is my ultimate crush, my inspiration, my everything. He's the reason why I strived to be always on top. We may know each other since we're kid, I still want to have a unique identity that he can always remember. Even if it's just a simple one, it's okay, as long as he can remember me on that.

He's also the one who made me realized my gender preference. I don't have plan of coming out though. It's enough for me that I'm the only one who knows what I really am. I'm not afraid of other people reaction and comments of who I am. I'm afraid of Mew's reaction. Maybe I'm over thinking about it, since we are not that close, but when I think he will hate me, I'm scared.

"Hey, are you coming with us?" My cousin Ja asked. He's also my classmate in some subjects. We just finished our lunch and we both don't have any class schedule until 3pm. He always accompanied me if he has spare time since he knew I don't have friends. He didn't like the idea of me being alone. I always said I'm okay on my own, he always find ways to be with me in his free time. Just like now.

"Where to?" I asked back. I clean our table and stuffed on the trays the plate that we used.

"Gym. We have a practice You can watch since you don't have a class yet."

Ja is also a varsity player. He's one of the basketball team.

"Can I really come?" An excitement suddenly felt all over my body. I really want to watch their practice, but I can't do it. I'm shy to go in the gym alone. I don't have friends to come with since I don't really mingle with others.

"Yeah."

I immediately stand up. A wide smile is really visible in my face. I'm excited and I can't contain it to myself.

"Let's go." I said. Ja just shook his head as we strode towards the cafeteria exit door.

"Anyway, why do you have a practice? The exam just finished 3 days ago. Usually you have a week rest before your practice resume?" I asked curiously. We're in went first in their team locker room. Ja need to change his clothes first.

"Inter campus game." He simply answered.

I just nod. I forgot about that. That will be next week.

After Ja got dressed, we immediately went to the gym. It looks like he's just the only one they are waiting because the team is complete when we arrive. There are also many students inside. Most of them are women. I think most of them are fans club members of all the players as I can see some hand banners waving in the air.

I looked for an empty seat. I chose the one far from the crowd, in the corner. My eyes immediately searched for Mew. I did not have a hard time because his handsomeness was very high. My eyes can easily find him. His team is also handsome, but he is more handsome for me

The practice game started. My eyes focused on Mew's every move. I always watch their games. I don't miss a single one. I was thrilled every time Mew dropped the ball in the ring, every 3 points, but my thrill now was far different. It was as if my heart wanted to jump out of my chest. Maybe because this is the first time, I saw him in their practice game. I used to see him in their official games. Her every run and shout, makes my heart ache even more.

"Gulf watched out!" I was surprised to hear Ja shout. It was only then that I noticed the ball approaching me. It's too late for me to escape. It hit my face and I fell on the chair.

I closed my eyes tightly because of the pain. The impact of hitting the ball on my face was strong, plus the fact that it was heavy and hard. I slowly opened my eyes. The image I see is still a bit blurry so I closed my eyes and open it again.

"Are you alright?" It was Mew, right in front of me. He helped me to my feet and gently sat me down on the chair.

"Your bleeding." He said.

"Huh?" I immediately noticed something wet in my nose. I touch something and when I looked at my hand I was surprised because I saw blood there.

"Don't looked at it." I looked at the owner who covered my eyes. It's Ja. I slowly removed his hand and looked again at the man in front of me.

I'm scared of blood. I don't want to see blood, because I'm scared. It can make my heart palpitate and worst I faint when I see it then, but now, I do not know if this is the cause of the strong beating of my chest or Mew who is very worried about me at these times. Is it the blood or Mew who is so close to me?

I can smell his perfume. I can feel his breath in my face. That's how close he is. My heart beat too loud. Too loud that I could barely hear what people around me were saying. All I could hear was Mew's voice and my heartbeat.

"Sorry, I did not mean to." Mew said in a very apologetic voice. He held my face. He wiped the blood off my nose.

"It's....It's okay." I stuttered.

"Are you really okay?" He asked again. "Your pale! I'm sorry, I panicked. I shouldn't have let you know that your nose is sticking out. You are afraid of blood."

I was speechless. My heart beat faster. He knew! He knew I was afraid of blood. No one knew that of course, except my parents and Ja. But he knew about it. How come?

I'm still in dazed even though I'm in my bedroom. I still can't believe Mew knows I'm scared of blood. I can't help but be happy with that simple thing. He knows something about me, it feels weird.

I stop day dreaming when my cellphone rings. I frowned. An unregistered number is calling me.

I just locked my phone and threw it on my side. Whoever he is, he will take care of his life.

After a minute, the message tone of my phone rang. I scornfully grab my phone again. No one texted me in this hour. My phone only gets busy when I'm at school because of mama or Ja's text message. But after school hour, my phone became silent like me.

I turned on my phone annoyed and looked at who the message was from. I was so shocked when I read the message that came. I read it several times, before everything sank into me.

'Hey, it's me, Mew. I asked Ja for your phone number. Did I disturb you? Sorry if I did. I just want to asked if you are okay? I'm still worried of what happened on the gym.'

I hid my face in the pillow. There I released my scream. I rolled over on my bed, and finally fell. I don't know how I really feel at these times. I got mixed emotion because of the text message. I'm thrilled, happy, nervous, excited.

I nervously hit reply and type a message. I could feel the trembling of my muscles. My finger is also shaking. I type words and misspelled a lot it.

I'm fine no need to worry.

It's just that short but it took me two minutes to type. I nervously hit the send button. After that, I jumped on my bed like I won on a lottery. No, I think I won more than that.

I watched their practice game almost every day. Ja always takes me with him. I can also say that I am close to his teammates because they always talk to me when they are resting. My days are always way beyond happy because even Mew always talks to me. Sometimes he even goes with Ja to take me home especially when we were late at night. He even helped Ja to explain to my mother the reason.

I am happy with such a simple thing. It's a big deal with me, really. Being closed to Mew, that was my dream before. Sounds like a dream come true.

"Why are you alone? Where is Ja?" I looked up and was surprised to see Mew sitting in the empty seat in front of me. I am in the cafeteria because I have a lunch break.

"He... he still had class." I answered in a shy manner

"Your cute when your shy." He replied with a smile.

I almost spit the water I drink because of what he said. Fortunately, I immediately covered my mouth.

Are you alright?" He stood up and approached me. Even though I didn't spit and swallowed what was in my mouth, some still dripping out. He gently stroked my back.

"Yeah. Maybe someone just remembered me." I took my handkerchief and wiped my mouth. It was a lame reason though.

"Am I going to be jealous?" I was surprised at his question. I followed him with my gaze until he return to his seat.

"I want to jealous to that someone who remember you and made you choke."

I clenched my fist under the table to restrain myself. Shit! I'm thrilled!

"Why?" I asked in surprise. I could feel the redness on my face so I bent down and pretended and was busy fixing my handkerchief.

"You are so cute. I feel like I want to be the only one who will remember you."

"Stop joking Mew. Maybe someone will hear you." I still haven't looked up. I don't want him to see the smile that I retraining from drawing on my lips.

"And so?"

I held my breath as Mew lifted my face with his finger. I swallowed because his face is too to mine. He is smiling and his eyes are locked on me.

"Let them hear what I am saying. At least they had an idea."

"Idea of what?" I asked nervously.

"Secret." He smiled and turned his face away from me and started eating.

For him, what he did seemed insignificant, but to me, the effect is to huge.

I was in dazed. Even until I got home, I was still an idiot. My brain has not been able to process what Mew did and said. I do not want to assume; I also do not want to misinterpret what he did and said. He still has a girlfriend. Maybe he was just cheating on me. But my excitement is too much. I just sympathize with my trembling cells that Mew killed in no time.

"Gulf." I turned around when I heard my name called. I saw Marlene, standing behind me with her beautiful smile. I looked at him curiously. He is dressed and not wearing a varsity shirt like she always wears when Mew has a game. She looks like she is going to an event rather than watching her boyfriend game

Today is the Inter Campus championship game. I remember that from the beginning of Mew's game, I didn't see him watching. I was also there in the back of the players bench because that's what Ja wanted, but I didn't see her there. I really wonder why. She never missed any of Mew's game before. Just now.

"Why?" I asked in curiously.

She walked closer to me and I was surprised when he suddenly grabbed my hand. "Make my cousin happy okay."

"Who's cousin?" I asked in curiously, again. I know she has no relatives studying here. Marlene is a half Filipino and half Thai His grandfather is the only one with her here in the Philippines. Her grandfather is also the reason why he is here in the country.

"Mew."

"Mew? Mew Suppasit?" I asked in surprise

"Yeah. He's my cousin." He answered then he laughed out loud

I, on the other hand, could not believe it. They are cousins and not in a romantic relationship. Mew is single and I am happy about it, even though the reality of us being together is as vague as the drainage water. At least I'll be not guilty to imagine that Mew and I is in a relation

"Make my cousin happy. I will trust him with you. I am going back to Thailand. My parents need me there. Also, my grandfather was already gone. I don't have any reason to stay here. So take care of Mew for me okay?"

I just nodded. I do not know what to say to her because until now I still cannot believe that they have no any romantic relationship.

"I wish you both happiness. My blessing is already yours." Then he waved goodbye to me.

I just followed her with my gaze. I can't still get what she said. My mind is still processing what she said.

"Why are you still here?" I turned to my side. It's Ja and he's with Mew. They are both wearing their team uniform and I can only say, they are handsome. But Mew is more handsome.

"Marlene talked to me." I answered while pointing at Marlene direction.

"She really wants to go home that bad. She didn't even watch my fight at first." Mew said.

"Don't be so dramatic Mew, my cousin is here." Ja said then he pushed me towards Mew.

"Yes!" I growled at him. The lunatic just laughed at me. His abnormality is in again.

"Can you cheer for me?" Mew whispered to me. I was shocked because of what he did and at the same time I shivered. My heart went crazy again for what he did.

"I'm..." I could not continue my answer because Mew slightly messed up my hair. He moved in front of me and brought his face closer to mine.

"Every shoot and points are yours." He also said that he gently flicked my nose and he went inside first.

What was that for?

The students loudly cheered as Mew dropped the ball into the ring. I, on the other hand, could barely move in my seat because every time he dropped the ball, he would look at me and smile. I feel like a candle that has been pierced in my place. I do not know how I act at all. I am ashamed of what he is doing.

Mew eagerness on the game is to obvious. He shot the ball perfectly. Three points, lay-up and even his free throws, all in. The distance between their score and their opponent is too big.

Last 2 minutes of the game, their coach asked for time out. I stood up and approached their bench because I had Ja and Mew towels.

"Are you sick?" Instead of Mew taking a towel, he grabbed my arm and pulled me closer to him. He touched my forehead with his hand. I can hear the scream of the girls at the back.

"My cousin is fine Mew, but maybe later he will not the okay anymore. Your too naughty and I think you better stop it already before something bad happened to my cousin." Ja replied.

"Should I warn him?" Mew asked Ja

"Better be. There is no ambulance available as of this momet. And we will have a party after this."

I don't know what they are talking. I just keep on shifting my gaze to the two of them. And also Mew still holding my arm.

Mew looked at me and smiled. My knee almost lost its strength because of it.

"Can I have a yes later?" He asked Me.

"About what?" I asked again so.

"Just say yes later, okay?"

I just nodded even though I did not know what the reason was.

The game end and our team won. It's already expected because the score gap is 20 points. An awarding ceremony was immediately held afterwards. Our team will be the one who will represent private school in the north-east municipality on the cluster meet.

"And let's hear some words from our mvp." The MC said then he handed Mew the mic.

Mew smile first that made her fans even more crazy. "An endless thank you to all the support from all the students of Waanjai University, most specially to my fans club." Mew said. He paused and let his fans scream loudly because of what he said. When the scream subsided, he spoke again. "I want to take this opportunity for something that I really want to do. I badly want to do this. It's just that, I'm shy and I'm not confident to do this. But something gave me courage to confess." He pulled something out from behind him and I was so shocked when I recognized the notebook he was holding. It's my diary!

I lost it three days ago. All I thought was that it was just at home. I did not bother to look for it because I plan to clean my room on Saturday. I never thought I lost it at school because I didn't take it out there.

"I got this diary of yours three days ago at the library." Mew continue. Everyone is quiet. All are seriously listening to what Mew is saying. While he, was looking straight at me.

"I'm sorry if I read this. I'm curious of what is written here. I keep reading it and it is worth it. It gave me courage to confess to you." I swallowed. Really?

"Please don't think that because I read its contents, I will confess to you. No. It's not like that. I like you ever since. Ever since we were kids, I've wanted you. I just can't admit it because I'm shy. Yes, I am stupid. Add that you are very aloof and shy. I do not know how to approach you or how I will admit it. I'm also afraid that I might be rejected. I hate pain even though I know that loving someone can cause me pain. I still took the risk of loving you and keeping you in my heart, coz why not? It's you and your worth the risk."

I wanted to cry but I restrained myself. Mew is confessing to me in front of all the students.

"Gulf Kanawut, I like you. No scratch that. I love you. I never allowed anyone to come near me coz I made myself reserved for you. I want myself to be exclusively yours and I want you to be mine. And now, here I am in front of everyone and in front of you, asking, can you be mine? Can you be my boyfriend?"

I held my breath. I can't answer. No words wanted to come out of my mouth, but in my brain the word yes screamed.

"I'll court you every day, every hour even ever minute. But now, I just want to hear an answer from you. Can I be yours?"

just nodded in response. Mew run towards me and suddenly kiss me in front of everyone.

I can't really imagine that all my imagination will happen. Mew confessing to me, kissing me in front of the crowd and him being my boyfriend. It was just my imagination then, but it is all true now. Losing my diary is a blessing in disguised. It's quite embarrassing that my man I have a diary, but it's okay. This, in turn, paved the way for all my imagination to come true.