A high pitched beeping woke Zak up roughly, causing him to wince and press both the palms of his hands against his ears, trying to muffle the insistent sound.
Groaning, he pressed the top of the alarm, turning it off.

The raven haired boy let himself fall on his back, staring confusingly at the ceiling.

'Jesus Christ,' his hands massaged his temples in a vain attempt to reduce the nagging headache. 'I did it again, didn't I..?'

After taking a long, deep breath, he turned his head to the side, towards the nightstand, with the intent of discovering what time was it.
He found not only one, but two surprises instead, different colored sticky notes: a blue one attached on a slim cylinder of aspirin, while a yellow one on the alarm, unwillingly covering the time.

«U'll need these. -M» said the blue one, referring to the hungover.

Staring at it and rereading the message over and over for a few times, Zak groaned, grabbing the container.

"Guess you're right..." he murmured in reply to it, opening the cylinder and shaking it so that one of the the pills would fall on his palm.

Soon afterwards gulping it down without water, his eyes automatically fell on the other sticky note.

«Meet us @ my place asap. we sluffing the whole morning cuz of hoco. u better be there in ten. - :L»

"Oh, god..." Zak groaned, cupping his face with both his hands, elbows resting on his knees. "They're gonna be so fucking mad..."

Sighing, he forced himself to get up and, stumbling, he walked to the bathroom.

During his path, something grew in him, slowly becoming more and more heavy, pressing on his chest.
The short boy's boney hands grasped to the cold enamel of the sink. His head rose, watching himself in the mirror for the first time in weeks. Someone removed the towel.

Zak already saw it, that face, the one he hoped to never see again.

He stared at himself under that familiar but unknown, pitiless light.

The taste of blood filled his mouth, and his knuckles turned white for how hard his hands were clenching on the sink.

He was shaking. And for the first time, it wasn't for fear or sadness, but because of pure anger.

He never felt that angry at himself.

"Fuck you." he quietly growled tight lipped, narrowing his eyes at his reflection. "I" his right hand detached from the faucet, closing into a fist. "fucking..." he was ready to punch the mirror with all the forces in his body, but he didn't.

He just stared wearily at his thin figure, disgust and disappointment filling up his eyes.

"I fucking hate you." nothing more than a whisper came out of his shaky lips as fist weakly fell against the sink.

A deep breath. More deep breaths.

The naked feet of the short boy produced a quick thumping as he walked back in his room. With a rapid motion he grabbed his backpack at the foot of the bed, opening it with hectic movements.
A new transparent, orange container rose up in his hand from the inside of the bag. It was full of multiples colored pills.

His eyes were glued on it, unable to look away for a long moment.

Gritting his teeth, he frowned and ran back to the bathroom, unable to stop himself until slamming his shoulder against the cold white wall.

His movements were quick nonetheless the tiredness, almost in fear of a change of mind at the last second.
He removed the cap from the container and threw the content inside of the toilet with no hesitations, flushing it right afterwards.

Zak was panting, and light grin grew on his lips between his tears.

"Never again." he whispered. "I'm choosing me, this time."

The raven haired boy knocked on the front door of Harvey's house, and surprisingly, it was Mega the one opening it, welcoming him with a long, disappointed and angry stare.
Inevitably, the shortest boy's eyes fell on Zak's bat, layed on top of the sport bag on his right shoulder, causing to his expression to intensify.

As he scoffed and shook his head,
Mega took a step behind, letting the older boy in.

Hesitant, Zak slowly walked inside the house, feeling overwhelmed by his friend's reaction.

"Hello." Harvey lengthened the greeting, and after closing his laptop, he turned towards him. He was sitting on the ground, in the same spot as two nights before.

The raven haired boy exchanged with a quick sorry and anxious glance, staring at the two friends as he stayed still in the middle of the entrance of the living room.

Mega sat down with the asian boy, leaning his back against the leather couch behind. He frowned and crossed his arms, clearly angry, while Harvey looked and acted scarily different, with a concerned expression hidden behind a forced grin, plastered on his face.

"C'mon, sit down." he pressed on him, patting the carpeted floor on his side with his hand.

Silently and uncomfortably groaning, Zak pushed himself to walk towards them, letting fall on the floor his bag and bat with a light thud.

Receiving now a more relaxed grin from Harvey, he sat down.
The trio found themselves in the same spots as the night they passed all happily together.

An unbearable silence towered over them, nobody finding the right words to start the conversation.

"I..." Zak spoke up, torturing the hem of his hoodie. "I'm sorry, I just-"

«Why would you do that.» the familiar static voice of Mega's phone immediately cut off his excuses.

Not receiving an answer, the Sophomore's glare searched for support, traveling from the short boy to Harvey, who exchanged with a worried glance.

"Zak." the asian boy pressed on him, his eyes moving back on the concerned him.

"I just... broke down." his voice sounded way more tired and full of regret than the two could ever expect.

"What caused that, then."

«Or should we say who?»

With that avoidable comment, Mega gained a deadly glare from his classmate, making him realize how sensible that situation was.

Zak sighed, hugging himself uneasily as he searched for the right words.

"I forgot to charge my phone, so I haven't checked it since I've been suspended. Turns out Callahan, y'know, the lawyer I talked you about, called me eight fucking times, and since I didn't answer to any of those for two whole days, he showed up while you two where at your training sessions. He..." his words got stuck in his throat for a moment, forcing him to swallow nervously before being able to continue. "He wasn't happy at all, as you can imagine. The principal talked with him about, uhm... Y'know what. And, apparently, since I've been suspended five times already, she kinda wants me outta there. Nothing official, probably just words, but still." the short boy concluded with a bitter sigh that accompanied his eyes back down to the carpeted floor.

Mega stared at the Junior for a long moment before quickly tapping his fingers on his phone's screen.

«Spit it out.»

With an interrogative expression, the two boys turned their heads towards the mute boy, who crossed his arms as his eyes narrowed on Zak.

«I'm not dumb, I can perfectly tell it's not all.» he explained, pressing only a finger on the phone screen without untangling his arms.

Frowning at his statement, Harvey turned his head back towards the raven haired boy who looked back at the ground, exposed.
Still, he refused to reply, resuming his anxious fidgeting with the red hem of Darryl's black hoodie.

"C'mon, Zak." the asian boy sighed, arching his eyebrows. "Talk to us..."

The short boy took another moment before deciding on giving an answer.

"I met Vincent at that party..." that name immediately attracted Mega's full attention, his eyes now glued on the short boy. "He said... things, to me."

The Sophomore's fist hit the table as he stood up, causing to both Harvey and Zak to wince and turn in his direction.

«Are you fucking serious?! I'm gonna fucking detroy him!»

"What did he say?!" the asian boy asked, unwillingly raising his tone of voice.

"That..." he stared at the two for a moment before forcing himself to give them a full answer. "That he knows who's the author of the school journal." his eyes fell back down on the floor. "But wants money in exchange."

«Oh my fucking God, Zak! Why the fuck didn't you call us?!» Mega spat, bringing both his hands on his head as he turned on himself, exasperated.

"I was drunk as fuck already! The fuck was I supposed to say?! 'Oh, hi hello, I just met Vincent, y'know, the french guy that used to be my best friend, and he told me he knows the author but wants fucking money! Oh, right, also I'm at a party and I'm fucking drunk, come and get me!'" the short boy bit back, shaking his head.

"He's right. Please, Mega, calm-" Harvey attempted to step in, turning towards his classmate.

«I won't calm myself down, okay?! This is fucking bullshit!» he retorted, frowning at the two. «If he called us maybe things weren't this shit!»

"I'm sorry, okay?! I really am-" Zak started to excuse himself, immediately cut off by the static voice of Mega's phone once again.

«Stop, excuses won't fix a single shit.»

"Mega, please." the asian boy begged, frowning at him. He hated that situation, he just wanted Zak to be fine and pass a day all together laughing like crazy while playing at a stupid block game, exactly like two nights before.

At his recall, the mute boy huffed angrily and sat back down, glaring at him with annoyance.
Crossing his arms, Harvey narrowed is eyes at Mega in exchange, waiting for him to excuse himself.

«Zak, okay, now I'll look stupid but, whatever.» he started as his leg started bouncing nervously. «I don't even know if you remember what I told you yesterday, but if you do...» frowning, he glanced at his classmate on the right, receiving a encouraging nod in exchange. «I'm... sorry. I should've been more understanding and less of an ass.»

Harvey smiled at him, then turned towards the concerned boy.

"I... do remember." Zak murmured as he looked away, fidgeting uneasily with his hands.

At his confirmation, Mega anxiously bit the inside of his cheek, regretting bringing that up.

"Be honest," he continued, their glances met. "when you said you were wasting your voice on me... Did you really meant it?"

«Of course not, I was angry as fuck, Zak. And I still am. It's just...» he frowned at his phone as he typed the rest of the sentence. «It was the first time in years that I spoke and I wish it wasn't to shout at you. I wanted it to be... a special moment, okay? That's it.»

Zak's eyebrows arched and his eyes saddened up.

"I get it. I'm so sorry, Mega..."

«I couldn't imagine a better time for me to talk anyway, honestly.» he admitted, sighing.

"We were just... overwhelmed with a bunch of different emotions all in once. Y'know, you throwing away all the progress you made in the last days is really fucking upsetting, not gonna lie." Harvey sighed too, looking back at the baseball player.

«Still, you should've called us. I'm still fucking mad about this lack of trust.»

"It's not lack of trust, Mega, it's..." Zak struggled to find the right word and ended up sighing frustrated. "I don't even fucking know."

"We're here for you, Zak. We already told you this." the asian boy pointed out, leaning a hand on his shoulder.

There was a small moment of silence, that somehow pushed Zak to make his move.

"So... would you two..."

Mega and Harvey stared at him, waiting for him to complete his question.

"I mean..." he murmured, swallowing nervously. "Jesus christ, why is this so hard..!" his hands cupped hiz face, his fringers pressing against his eyes.

"You... want us to help you?" the asian boy dared to ask, slightly leaning foward.

"No! I mean, yes!" Zak nodded, smiling faintly before repeating it again in a whisper. "Yes."

Grinning with relief, Harvey pulled the short boy under his arm and starting to mess his hair up.

"See that it wasn't that hard to ask, you dumbo?!" he complained, his hand still in his raven hair.

«Fucking finally.» the other boy spat, rolling his eyes.

The smile formed on Zak's lips disappeared as soon as it appeared.

"The question now is..." Harvey's arm let him go as he started talking. "Where the fuck do I start? What... What do I have to do to get better?"

"You already started by letting us help you." the asian boy proudly replied as he pushed him friendly, with his usual grin plastered on his face.

«But I'd also say you have to decide, Zak.»

"Uh? What do you mean?" he asked, frowning at Mega.

«Is this the life you want to live? Is this what do you want to be? Is this the best version of yourself? Can you be stronger? Happier, healthier? So, do it, decide.» the Sophomore explained, crossing his arms afterwards.

"Yeah, I would've said something like that too, but in a kinder way." Harvey agreed, marking how rough Mega was as he glanced at him rising an eyebrow.

Nodding, Zak sighed and leaned his head on his hand, elbow resting on the glass table.

"I'm... I'm pretty sure I'm gonna fuck everything up once again." he murmured, biting the inside of his cheek.

«Stop it.»

"You're trying your best, Zak. And that's enough." the asian boy reassured, laying his hand on the top of his teammate shoulder.

«And it's up to you.» the mute boy continued, typing without looking away from his friends. «Giving up, I mean.»

"Pft, giving up?" Harvey scoffed, his grin widening as his glance met Zak's. "Ain't an option with us by your side."

"Thank you guys so much." he smiled at the two boys. "I really appreciate everything you're willing to do for me, even after what I did."

"You're welcome, you dumbo!" the asian boy exclaimed, pulling the boy under his arm and messing his hair up again.

While the two boys were busy giggling and pushing each other friendly, Mega frowned as he stared at them, sliding his phone under the table and quickly letting his fingers tap on the keyboard displayed on the screen.

Soon afterwards, a vibration in Harvey's jeans' pockets interrupted the laughter between the two boys.

"Oh boy, who dat?" in a quick motion he took his phone out, reading the notification through the blockscreen. "Oh."

"Oh?" Zak repeated, tilting his head. "Who is it? Your secret boyfriend?" he teased, pushing him.

"Psh, shut up." he pushed back the giggling boy with a little too much strength, making him fall on the floor. "It's my mother, gotta call her. I'll be right back." Harvey explained as he got up, gifting the two boys a finger gun before walking to the bathroom and closing himself into it.

Sighing, he took back out of his hoodie the phone, unblocking it and staring at Mega's message for a moment before typing an answer.

< Zak is hiding something.

wdym??? >

< He didn't tell us everything.

He frowned at his response, then shook his head in confusion as his thumbs quickly tapped on the screen.

bruh, what do u expect, he aint gonna
tell us every single thing anyway >

u kno, privacy is still a thing?? >

and im pretty sure he knows what
he gotta tell us for getting better >

< I mean, ugh, whatever.

< Still, something's up and I don't like this.

< I bet Vincent is involved.

oh boy, quit fitzing this >

< Pff, fuck off.
< Don't say I didn't told u so, rindle apple.

>:L >

Nonetheless the screen went black after turning it off, Harvey stared at it for a long moment, his frown intensifying as Mega's words invaded his head.

'What if...' he groaned and shook his head uneasily, and all those bad thoughts dispelled. 'Even if it's true, we'll be by his side.' his grin grew back on his lips as he exited the bathroom and walked back to the living room.

"Hello, I'm back." he let the two know, giving a quick glance to Mega, who exchanged with a more tense and serious one.

"So?" Zak asked, groaning as he got up from the floor and leaned his back against the couch behind him. "How's your boyfriend?"

"Oh c'mon, fuck off!" he talked back, giggling.

And only then Harvey eyes catched Zak's sport bag and bat laying next to the couch.

"Wait, Zak?" he recalled his attention without looking away from his equipment. "Are u gonna play?!"

"What? Of course I am, the fuck." he replied, frowning back as his question was obvious.

«Look into a mirror and then we'll talk about it.» Mega immediately jumped in, glaring at the short boy.

"Fuck off, Mega. I'm not gonna lose this hoco because of Dave." he spat, narrowing his eyes on him.

«Wow. You really do want your throat slit open, don't you?»

"Mega!" Harvey stepped in, glaring at him.

If there's something the asian boy couldn't bear with, was his friend's inexistent delicacy, especially when discussing with a vulnerable person like Zak.

"I'm afraid you gotta give up this time, dude." the asian boy continued, turning towards the concerned one.

"What?! There's no way I'm gonna do that!" he blurted out with his high-pitched and cracky voice, abruptly standing up.

«And getting killed by Dave seems the most reasonable choice right now, obviously.» the robotic voice from Mega's phone talked back as he got up too.

"The fuck are you talking about?! Dave wouldn't push himself that far!" Zak spat, frowning at him.

"Guys, please." Harvey desperately tried to step in, getting ignored by the two short boys.

«Open your fucking eyes, Zak! He's ruthless, you should perfectly know he would do anything on his power to get what he wants!»

"Guys."

"And I should listen to a kid that has barely talked to him, yeah, okay, alright."

Opening his mouth ready to attempt to interrupt the discussion, Harvey realized how useless trying again would be. He groaned silently and as the two boys kept shouting at each other on the two opposite of the small table, he filled both his hands with the popcorns on the bowl on the middle, and then, threw each handful at them.

"What the heck?! Why would you do that?!" Zak whined, frowning at him.

«Wow.» the shortest added, glaring annoyed at the asian boy.

"You wouldn't stop acting like two fucking preschoolers, so I acted as one too!" he spat in reply.

"Psh." Mega scoffed, rolling his eyes.

"Don't psh me!" he talked back, then sighed. "What I wanted to say was: Mega, can we at least discuss about this like adults?"

«Bruh, lemme remind you that you're sixteen, and I'm fifteen. We're hella far from being fucking adults.»

"Shut up, you dumbo. You know what I meant." he retorted, turning then towards the raven haired boy. "And, Zak, a lot of fucking shit could go wrong, think about it."

«My option is in there.» the shortest added, crossing his arms.

"Hate to admit it, but he's right." Harvey sighed.

"Look, I just wanna play! Nothing bad is gonna happen, okay?"

«Do whatever the fuck you want, then. Go on, go on and act like a dumbfuck again taking your shitty choices!»

"Please, can we calm down for a fucking second?!" the asian boy snapped, glaring at both of them.

Finally, silence filled the room.

"Now, let's sit back down, relax, have some snacks and be reasonable, okay?" he continued, his eyes jumping from a boy to the other.

The two glanced at each other, then sighed and sat back down.

"Thank you." Harvey added as kneeled down and rested his arms on the table. "Now, Zak; what makes you think that participating to this year's homecoming is the right choice?"

He took a good moment before replying.

"I wanna fight for what's mine. I won't give up on my captain role this easily, especially because of hoco."

"And now, Mega." the asian boy turned in his direction. "What makes you think that's a bad idea?"

«Bad? It's fucking terrible! He literally almost got killed last time, what makes you think it's gonna go better?! Plus, there's a high possibility of Dave being an ass and doing the speech, and after observing him for two whole ass years, I know he's gonna shade on Zak with no mercy.» the shortest boy explained, nervously adjusting his balaclava.

"He won't." the baseball player spat, hitting the table along with his statement.

«You literally stayed by his side for four fucking years and nonetheless this, nonetheless what he said and did to you, you're still acting fucking blind.»

"I have to give credit to Mega on this one." Harvey admitted, glancing at the concerned boy.

Furrowing his eyebrows uneasily, Zak let himself fall against the leather couch behind, sighing.

"Whatever, dude. You wouldn't understand anyway." he spat, looking away.

«'Whatever, dude.' I don't give a single shit anymore honestly, with you and your dumbass is fucking impossible to argue.» the shortest boy got up, grabbing his bag from the couch. «I gotta go to the last rehearsals for the pep rally anyway, so.»

"Mega, please." Harvey begged as the short boy walked to the exit.

«Just remember this, Zak.» he stopped walking right in front of the door but didn't turn. «This time don't expect me to be there ready to save your ass. Bye.»

The door slammed as Mega left, leaving a heavy silence behind him.
Sighing, Harvey turned back towards Zak, expecting some sort of reaction from him.

"I'm sorry, but... I just..." the short boy stumbled on his own words. "I can't. I just can't and won't give up on this." his eyes finally rose from the floor, meeting his friend's ones.

They exchanged a long stare, both busy rearranging their thoughts.

"Zak." Harvey started. "Are you sure is this what you want?"

"Yes, absolutely." he replied with no hesitations.

His friend took a deep breath, then leaned his hand on the top of Zak's shoulder.

"I won't stop you then." he started grinning again, nodding slowly.

"Thank you, man." his hand rested on top of Harvey's. "I'll go change myself real quick, then."

"Wait, one last question." Harvey hurried to say, stopping him from getting up.

"Shoot."

"Are you sure nothing else happened?" he dared to ask, his anxiety peaking at Zak's frown. "Like, I dunno, with Darryl, maybe? Really, anything."

"I told you everything, don't worry." in his voice there was something off, and Harvey couldn't ignore that.

"Just... Know I'm here, if you-"

"Harvey, believe me. I really did." he insisted.

"Alright, alright."

"Let's say I'm kinda worried for Mega, that's it." Zak admitted, standing up and avoiding eye contact.

Harvey's grin grew back on his lips as he scoffed.

"Don't worry, he'll get over it. As always."

"He better. I already miss his grumpy ass." Zak giggled softly along with his friend.

He grabbed his bag from the floor, leaning the bat on the couch.

"Oh, one last thing."

The short boy turned towards him with a interrogative expression.

"Mh?"

"If the hurt comes, so will the happiness." his grin widened. "Don't forget that, Zak."

The short boy started at his friend for a long moment.

"I won't."

Harvey missed seeing that sincere smile that grew on his friend's lips.

"Thank you, Harvey."

[unedited, 3965 words]
sigh.