"What the fuck do you mean he got drunk again?" Harvey frowned, glancing with eyes full of anger and confusion at Mega, who just leaned his shoulder against the door jamb of Zak's locked dorm. He lifted one eyebrow in return.

A simple call just made that messy Thursday even messier.

In the morning, Zak tried to enter his classroom regardless of his suspension, and somehow the teacher expected that and locked the door, blocking him outside.
Obviously the Junior didn't give up, and faced the adult about wanting to participate regardless, but her words weren't what he hoped for.
After trying his best to find a way, he gave up and texted Mega, knowing he had access to his phone during lessons, and let him know about the situation.

Luckily for Zak, in his class there was a close friend of Harvey, called Zyph. He offered to pass his notes, and then the two Sophomores would help him out with the studies, since both Harvey and Mega were the best students of their year.

The trio spent the entire afternoon in Zak's dorm, and the two younger boys tried their best to help the Junior, getting unexpectedly good results.

After the night before, Zak looked way more relaxed and happy. He was finally able to focus on his work, unbelievably obtaining improvements.
And the two friends couldn't help but fist bump everytime the older would eat a bunch of Doritos from the bowl they profusely put in the middle of the table.

Zak was clearly trying his very best to recover and his improvements were amazing; there was no way he got drunk again.

"And why should I believe you exactly, Vincent?" Harvey asked narrowing his eyes, letting his sport bag slide off his shoulder and fall on the ground alongside his bat.

The three agreed on meeting back to Skeppy's dorm after baseball training, which he didn't go to for obvious reasons, but found the door locked and nobody inside.
Harvey got there first, while Mega just five minutes later, and as soon as the asian boy informed him, Vincent called.

"I hope I don't need to remind you all the bullshit you said about Zak and that you literally beat the shit outta me."

"I mean, you can just hung up if u don't believe me, but Zak is drunk, high and literally crying in the bathroom again. So, I couldn't care less about you two not coming here for him." the french boy on the other side rebut, remarking how it wasn't the first time.

"This is bullshit, when we left he was fine!" Harvey objected, bringing a hand against his forehead as he tried to process the situation.

Mega crossed his arms and coughed to recall his attention, indicating with a nod the phone that Harvey had against his ear. Without stopping frowning, the asian boy put the call on speaker.

«Zak was doing amazingly today.»

"Well, apparently he wasn't, otherwise he would be here, drunk, high and-"

"Oh God, shut the fuck up! We got it!" the taller Sophomore snapped, receiving a punch on the shoulder from Mega in exchange.

«Where is he.»

"At the first floor bathroom of Doni's house, he's throwing a party since tomorrow there's gonna be homecoming."

"Wait-" Harvey and his friend lifted their head simultaneously. "Could it be that..." his sentence didn't need an end to make Mega understand, he nodded slowly in reply.

«You better be the fuck out of that house before we'll get there, or I'm gonna destroy your ass for what you said about Zak, and what you did to Harvey.»

Without waiting for an answer, Mega pressed the red dot on the screen and ended the call, grabbing then Harvey's sleeve and then started running down the empty hallway by his side.

The moon shone in the sky, it would be completely full on the night of homecoming's dance.

Harvey felt stupid for not understanding why that evening Dave was so brownnoser with the Coach, it should've been clear he wanted to be the one doing the speech the next day before the game.

All both boys could think as they ran in Doni's house direction, was about an actual reason.
Homecoming wasn't acceptable. There was no way he would throw away all his progress for a stupid speech or role.

Harvey glanced at Mega on his right side.
The short boy was an incredible runner, so he had no problems keeping up with the baseball player speed.
He used to be a sprinter during Freshman year, but renounced for health complications.

"Mega?" Harvey asked, shorty afterwards.

Receiving a quick glance from him, he continued.

"What do you think happened?"

With a quick motion, Mega grabbed his phone out of the hoodie and angrily slammed his fingers on the screen without stopping his run.
He wasn't really pissed, he just used that to cover up his concern on Zak.

«It can be whatever, I'm gonna be so fucking angry at him either way.»

Harvey clenched his teeth uneasily and looked back in front of himself, finally seeing Doni's house at the end of the road.

He was one of the most popular Seniors, the typical rich jock, good at everything and with all the girls at his feet.
The relationship between him and Zak was most likely just about popularity, basically strangers faking a friendship to avoid conflicts.

As expected, the scenario was identical to the one of Monday's night at Zelk's house; drunk people fighting and laughing outside, music bumping at an insanely loud volume, the smell of marijuana and alcohol filling up their nostrils. Nothing new.

The two Sophomores stopped right outside the open front door for a moment, exchanging an encouraging glance before entering.

Luckily, it wasn't the first time Harvey was that house, he participated at two of his party before, so he knew where the bathroom was.

Every room was extremely crowded by sweaty, drunk and high students, and Mega found himself obligated to grab Havrey's sleeve, who was leading the way, to not lose him.

And finally, they entered the bathroom, finding someone they hoped not to find.

"Vincent-" Harvey attempted to say, getting immediately cut off by Mega who slammed the door and stood in front of his friend despite being way shorter.

«What the fuck did I tell you?!» he immediately snapped, grabbing him by his hoodie.

"Was I supposed to leave him here alone or something?!" the french retorted, trying his best to just narrow his eyes and do nothing to Mega.

"Well, now we're here." Harvey pointed out as he put both his hands on the short boy shoulders, trying to get him off Vincent's face.

«Get the fuck out before I snap your neck.»

After exchanging an hateful stare with Mega, the french boy spat on the ground beside him, then quickly left, slamming the door, obviously.

The two didn't lose another second and dashed towards Zak, sitting on the corner of the room with a pair of bottles of different brands of alcohol, his expression blank, on his cheeks dry tears, and red eyes.

"Oh, God, what the fuck happened, Zak?" Harvey quietly asked as he checked on him, with Mega on the other side.

"Leave me alone..." he replied in an almost incomprehensible murmur.

The two Sophomores exchanged a quick concerned glance, then nodded on a silent agreement on bringing Zak back to the dorm forthwith.
Each took an arm and put it around their neck, receiving a loud groan in reply. Once lifted up, the Junior tried to push the two away, fighting against their claw-like grip.

«Zak, please, cooperate and let us bring you back to the dorm.» Mega's phone spoke, he was clearly about to lose his patience.

An incomprehensible muttering came from him in reply, and he didn't stop moving, still trying to get away from them.

«Zak.»

"Zak, please."

Both boys found themselves begging.

"I said... Leave, me, alone..!" Zak spat with an unusual hoarse voice, his rough movements made Mega's phone fall, and his elbow hit Harvey's nose.

The two had to let go of him, causing him to slam his back against the wall behind, but somehow, he was able to remain standing.

Mega stared at his phone on the ground for a long moment before slowly lifting his head up, and Harvey saw that coming.

"Mega-"

"Okay, this is it." Mega growled and grabbed Zak's hoodie, narrowing his eyes as he pulled him closer.

His voice was far from what Harvey expected; slightly raspy, not too deep and marked, but soft at the same time, in contrast to the rest.

"Listen the fuck up, Zak." he continued, ignoring the Sophomore on the side staring at him glassy eyed. "We are both done already with your bullshit." his voice cracked multiple times as it was under strain, too untrained to sound fluent. "What the fuck are you thinking about?! That getting blasted will magically bring back Darryl? That things will go back the way they were? That the principal will ridicously forget about the fucking mess u made? That your captain role will stay forever despite you not fighting for it? Oh, maybe you're even expecting the typical "And everyone lived happily ever after." ending, right?"

He stopped for a moment, shaking his head slowly as he started at the older's blank and distorted expression.

"Jesus fucking Christ, Zak!" With a quick and single motion, he let go of his hoodie and placed a finger against his chest, pushing him back against the wall behind. "This is not how it works, and you, of all people, should fucking know this!" he was shouting, his anger and boiling blood prevented him from realizing it.

Finally, Zak expression changed, shifting into tired and sad, from his eyes tears threatened to come out, ready to soak his cheeks again.

"I'm sorry, I... I fucked up..." he wearily brought a hand against his face, squeezing his eyes. "I fucked up again..."

Catching another spark of rage in Mega's eyes, Harvey tried his best to overcome his hesitation, and stepped in.

"Maybe it's-"

As expected, the younger boy was way too focused on Zak to even bother listening to him, and other words full of anger flow out his mouth unbothered.

"That's the fucking point, Zak! Again! You did it again! You have to stop doing this to yourself, to Darryl, to-" he stumbled on his own words as his hand pointed first to Harvey and then to himself. "to us, goddammit! Stop it! There's not going to be end to your suffering if you keep making the same mistakes over and over and fucking over again!"

The asian boy really wanted to stop him, but he knew how ridiculously right Mega was. So, he just stared at the two, unable to react to the whole situation.

"And-" the shortest boy stopped, squeezing his eyes and shaking his head before glaring back at Zak. "And fucking stop blaming circumstances! It's not a fair excuse here, you are the one who choose to get loaded, to take those fucking pills and drugs, to cut or whatever the fuck you want!" his index finger hit the baseball player's chest at every 'you'. "It's, up, to, you. It's your choice. And you always had a choice here, Zak, the right one. You always had an option. Getting... help."

A moment of silence towered over the three.

The Intoxicated boy let himself slide down the wall and slumping on the floor, befuddled.

"You were making so much fucking progress, but look at you... you fucked it all up. And for what?" Mega murmured, his question ending up being a whisper.

Harvey felt horrible for being stuck, unable to do or say a single thing. That situation was something surreal, overwhelming and hard to process.
Never he expected nor thought of assisting at a scene like that.

Without acknowledging his friend's state, Mega opened his mouth ready to resume his argument nonetheless Zak clearly being on the edge of another breakdown.

Lucky, this time words lodged in his throat, forcing him to narrow his eyes at his target as he silently stared at him.

After sealing his lips close and covering his lower face back behind his balaclava, he ducked down and grabbed his phone from the floor, his thumbs quickly tapped on the screen.

He glared at Zak for a long moment before letting the robotic voice go off.

«Why the fuck am I even wasting my voice on you, you're gonna forget everything anyways.»

After taking a deep breath as an attempt to calm himself down and having turned his head towards Harvey, a shiver of regret coursed through Mega's body as his eyes met his, full of concern and confusion.
He quickly looked back at his phone nonetheless he didn't remotely need to look at the screen to know what he was typing.

«Let's bring him back to his dorm.»

Without even waiting for the voice to finish the sentence, Mega already ducked down and put Zak's left arm around his neck.

"Mega, are you-" Harvey attempted to ask as he kneeled down on the other side and imitated him.

«Don't.» he didn't even type, that noun was ready as he saw that question coming.

The asian boy frowned at the shortest for a moment before contributing on his endeavours to lift Zak without his help, despite his thin arm already being around his shoulders.
He wasn't heavy at all, but him not collaborating with the two boys sure didn't help.
Mega and Harvey couldn't do anything but forcefully hale him off.

There was no trace of Vincent in the house, he appeared and disappeared like a phantom. And both boys unconsciously looked for him, but at that party there were only a few familiar faces, in contrast to the several unknown ones.

Once out of that hell, Mega felt his ears ring as the music went far, while his sour throat hurt as much as gulping down glass shards would.
He wasn't doing good with mind as well, overwhelmed with messy and bulky thoughts of all kind, that somehow messed up his entire person.

Zak's head swung lightly at every step, he kept murmuring excuses, then whispering how much he loved and missed Darryl, and lastly, incomprehensible and nonsensical phrases before his voice completely faded away.

After adjusting his grab on the short boy, Harvey glanced worriedly at his friend on the other side, but he just kept looking forward with a frown printed on his face, clearly upset.

The asian boy hesitation stopped him from recalling his attention for a good moment.

"Mega..." he cringed at his raspy voice, not really knowing if it was that quiet for worry of disturbing Zak, or for fear of the shortest boy's reaction.

His friend's frown intensified, but he refused to reply.

"Mega." Harvey attempted again, slightly raising his voice, this time.

The Sophomore's narrowed his eyes, not moving an inch.

"Mega, please." his friend insisted.

With an pissed huff, he finally turned his head in Harvey's direction, an eye roll accompanyied the gesture.
Glaring at Harvey, he made it clear that talking about what happened wasn't an option.

"Can you tell me why you've been so... rough? I mean, why did you react that way?" he asked anyway, ignoring his eyes narrowing on him.

Without stopping walking, Mega huffed again adjusted the grab on Zak's arm before taking out of the striped hoodie his phone. He quickly glared at Harvey, who was patiently waiting for an answer, then started pressing on the screen with only one thumb as the other hand was busy, still being insanely fast on his typing.

«How the fuck was I supposed to react, Harvey? I should've just stood there, doing nothing but stare at him like you did?» the usual static voice spoke, somehow sounding harsh although it was the same as always.

Both those words and his eyes hurt Harvey, who just arched his eyebrows and slowly looked back in front of him, letting his eyes fall on the cemented ground.

"I'm sorry, I... didn't know what to do." he excused himself only after a moment of silence, and his voice sounded unbelievably sad.

That felt like a stab right in Mega's heart, since making Harvey upset was something beyond impossible.

«Sorry.» hearing Mega excusing himself for the first time ever caused to the asian boy to abruptly turn his head in his direction, eyes sparkling with surprise. «I just...» he shook his head. «Let's talk about this shit once at the dorm.»

His friend smiled softly at him, receiving a sorry glance in exchange.

A pair of minutes later, they finally arrived in front of Zak's dorm, and after struggling to find the keys, they opened.
Once again, they found an unexpected surprise right inside; Darryl, who flinched pretty badly at their unexpected entry.

Havrey immediately frowned at him, speechless, while Mega's eyes filled up with hate a second time as they landed on the blonde boy.

An unbearable silence towered over the room, and Zak, noticing it, rose his head.
He started blankly at Darryl for a long moment, his eyes getting glossy.

"Do..." he spoke up, his raspy voice made him cough lightly. "Do you have idea how fucking scared I am, Darryl? That I'll stay here, being in love with you, waiting for you, and then, in the end you'll just leave..." he murmured, clearly drunk. His head fell forward, staring back at the ground. "Don't leave me, please..." he whispered.

The concern on Harvey expression increased, and so did the hate in Mega's eyes. The shortest boy glared at Darryl, who swiftly passed his sleeve on his eyes before silently walking back into his room.

Sighing Harvey started walking in Zak's room alongside with his friends.
He settled up the older boy, that passed out after telling that phrase to Darryl, in his bed and put a bucket on the side of the bed.
Once done, he sighed again as he adjusted Zak's hair away from his eyes, then left the room.

After staring at the closed door of Darryl's room for a long moment, he leaned against it and knocked lightly.

"Uhm, hey, Darryl." he awkwardly started, scratching the back of his neck. "I... I know I have nothing to do with this situation but... Believe me; Zak loves you so fucking much and he needs you now more than ever. Just... don't give up on him, please." he stayed silent for a moment, then looked down at the floor. "I'm begging you..."

Without moving from there for a long moment, Harvey scoffed shaking his head as he detached from the door and walked away, reaching his friend on the balcony.

"Hey..." he quietly greeted as he closed the french window behind himself. "Is everything okay?"

Mega, sitting on the ground despite there being two chairs, glared at him for his stupid question.
Smiling faintly, Harvey sat beside him leaning his back against the shorter boy and resting the back of his head on his shoulder.

"Sorry, dumb question." he sighed once again. "What came over you?"

As he waited for him to type, the asian boy admired the starred sky upon them.

«I can't bear to see Zak in these conditions. He's destroying himself, and even though he can ask us for help, he's being a complete dumbfuck and keeps fucking up every single progress he makes. He doesn't even realize how bad his relapses are getting.»

Nodding slowly in agreement, Harvey clenched his teeth.

«Y'know, I've always been an asshole with everyone, expecially with Zak, not gonna lie; but little does he know, I really, really fucking care for him. Like, so so so much. And I hate myself so fucking much for cutting him off, last year.»

"Wait," Havrey frowned at his reveal. "you cut him off? He... told me he was the one who cut you off."

The short boy frowned in turn, confused.

«What?»

"Yeah, Zak told me he got into one of your daily arguments, and told you unforgivable things or something along those lines..."

After staring for a long moment at the Cola can he was holding, Mega nodded slowly and quickly started typing.

«I was the one who did that. I just... convinced myself that he was toxic and childish, and after another of his stupid trolls, I lost my shit and... the day after we were complete strangers, too proud of ourselves to face each other. I... I still feel bad for not understanding that all he wanted to do was make me laugh, or at least, make me smile. But, still, I dont get it... he... covered for me...?» his frown intensified. «But why would he do that? What was the point?»

In reply, Harvey scoffed and shook his head.

"He noticed how lonely you were, Mega. Me and him were the only ones who noticed it. And, I know Zak, I'm sure he didn't want you to be even more alone than you already were by telling others the truth on what happened."

There was another moment of silence before a reply came.

«I literally told him to kill himself. So, why would he do that?»

"Zak cares too much about everyone, he's the type of person that worries more about others happiness, always putting others on the first place, and always ending up forgetting about is own well being..."

Mega started at the can in his hand, rotating it. He felt Harvey's head turning on the side, towards him.

"You're an awesome person, Mega."

That unexpected statement made the short boy lift up his head.

"I know what you're doing, and it's... it's not fair." Harvey continued, his voice sounding quieter than usual. "You're isolating yourself from others, don't think I didn't notice."

«Shut up, I'm not.» he hurried to reply.

"You are." the older retorted, arching his eyebrows.

Mega frowned at him, he felt an unusual anxiety kicking in, causing to his heart to beat insanely fast and his breath to become raspy.

"I don't know why you're doing this, but you don't have to anymore, okay? This time, you can say the meanest things to me and Zak, and, believe me, we still would not leave you." Harvey softly said, sitting up straight and turning towards him.

«Why would you do that.» he spat in reply.

"Because, as I said, you're an awesome person. You can be a little rough sometimes, but we appreciate and love you for what you are."

After staring at him for a long moment, Mega huffed.

«Bullshit.»

"Why would I lie about it? We really, really do, Mega."

His breathing became shaky for some reason.

«I'm far away from being awesome.»

"Bullshit." his friend replied with a grin, mocking him by copying his answer.

Scoffing, Mega pushed him friendly.

"You're literally the nerdiest fella I ever met, like, you basically know every single videogame ever existed and their plots, and you give the best advices ever. Oh, and you also have the best and dankest memes ever." he chuckled, then sighed. "These two days passed with you made me realize how much I missed."

In reply to his words, Mega scoffed, but couldn't help but smile behind his balaclava.

«Cheesy.»

"And you're a god at math, that's a hundred points bonus."

The two chuckled, and that moment somehow pushed Mega to do his move.

«Harvey?»

"Yeah?" he grinned, as usual.

«I used to worry that if I couldn't be happy with myself, then nobody would ever be happy with me. This is why I pushed and still push everyone away.»

Mega was opening up for the first time in his life, and Harvey's heart sank as he didn't expect that.

«And I became so tired of trying to appreciate myself, that I found easier to just... stay alone, on my own. And without realizing it, I became what I am now. A numb, heartless asshole. I can't even find reason to even try to get out of this shit, honestly.» he shook his head, scoffing. «Y'know, after all, nobody ever wants to stay with the broken toy.»

Speechless over his words, Harvey leaned a hand on his shoulder, his eyes full of concern.
He never remotely thought about Mega going through something like that.

«I'm... so tired of being who I am. And, y'know... Sometimes I just... want to break down and just... cry. But instead, all I can do is staring at the fucking wall or ceiling and feel nothing. Completely empty. Empty and alone.»

"Oh god, Mega..." his friend whispered as he pulled him closer and hugged him. "You're not alone anymore, okay? And... become happy with yourself is a slow and rough process, but... Quitting won't speed it up."

The short boy took a moment before hugging him back, ending up to tightly pull him closer.

«I really needed a hug.».

"When was last time someone hugged you, Mega?" Harvey quietly asked, almost afraid of the answer.

"Years." the short boy whispered to his ear, with a hint of pain in his voice.

Havrey tightened the hug for a moment, then they splintered.

«Thank you for hearing me out, Harvey. And sorry for the bother.»

"You're welcome, and shut up. You ain't a bother, okay?" he grabbed both his shoulders, grinning. "The worst thing someone can do, is leaving a loved one alone drowning in their own thoughts."

A light smile grew on Mega's lips.

"No homo, tho." Havrey added with his grin widening, reciving a punch on his shoulder from the short boy, who chuckled in reply.

The two sat back at their original position; Mega leaning on the wall behind him, and Harvey resting the back of his head on the short boy's shoulder.

They silently stared at the start, enjoying their company.

"Mega?"

«What?»

"Y'know, I was thinking about something Zak told me time ago, before we split up."

«What is it?»

"He told me “I wish I could be as happy as people think I am.”. He was drunk as fuck, but... this shit still bothers me today." Harvey admitted, sighing silently.

After a moment of silence, Mega leaned his head against his friend's one.

«You know what, Harvey?»

"Mh?"

«Let's try our best to make his wish come true, okay?»

Harvey smiled softly at his words.

"Yeah,"

"Let's do this."

[unedited, 4443 words.]
definitely the worst
chapter i ever wrote

i made a discord server
for this book, the link is
in my bio :) <3