"You can start the test, good luck guys." the middle-aged teacher wished as she sat down on the chair behind her table, full of sheets and a computer.

Zak frantically bounced his legs up and down, feeling the anxiety he already built up increase even more as he looked through the numbers and various equations which filled up the multiples sheets in front of him, flipping those repeatedly in search of the easier ones.

'Shit, there's no fucking way I'm gonna do it.' he anxiously thought, cupping his face into his hands as he felt a wave of panic hitting him.

After taking a good, deep breath, the Junior let his hands slip away from his face, grabbed his pencil case, which was laying on the left top corner of the table, then pulled it closer.
The opening zip emitted a muffled noise, standing out between the pens already scribbling on the paper and the sheets turning frantically.
With his eyes still pointed on the test, Zak tucked his hand into the case searching blindly for a pen, when a crumpling sound from there catched his attention.
Looking down at the pencil case with a confused frown, he discovered that the cause of that unexpected sound was a cyan sticky note with something written on it.

«I believe in you, little muffin! Don't panic and try to use the tricks I taught you. And if it won't go as well as you wished for, don't worry, I'm sure you tried your best. Good luck! <3»

The surprised expression that appeared on Zak's face, soon turned into a more relaxed and happy one, with a soft and loving smile printed on his lips.
As he folded the small piece of paper on itself and tucked it into his Jean's pocket, the short boy grabbed the pencil he was searching for, and took another deep breath before starting his test, now a little more relaxed than before.

Sunday, the day before, nothing really interesting happened, in fact Zak and Darryl passed most of the day studying for that final and the other one which would be wednesday.
The Junior had a pair of breakdowns and anxiety crisis due the incoming test, but thanks to the help and affection given by the older boy, he managed to calm down faster than he used to.
Nonetheless, Zak post-traumatic stress disorder had is part too, causing a massive panic attack as soon as Darryl left the dorm for buying new bandages, luckily enough, he stupidly forgot his credit card, so he found the short boy before his state could get worse.
Plus, Callahan had to postpone his call due all the work he had, so Zak anxiety wasn't only because the test.

The truth was he was terrified of what he was waiting for him.

More than humanly possible.

"Fuck this shit." Zak whispered as he abruptly got up from his seat and started to pack up his things.

There was more than twenty minutes left before the end of the period, still, the Junior wasn't able to concentrate nor understand anything about his test, and ended up losing his patience.

"Carder, what are you doing?" the teacher asked in a frown, glaring at him from the opposite side of the class, still sitting at her desk.

Without bothering to answer, Zak hunched his shoulder, picked his backpack up and started walking towards her, grabbing the test with him.

"I'm done." he muttered, approaching the middle aged woman.

"How did it go?" she asked, with malicious grin growing on his lips.

The Junior stopped two feet from his teacher as she ended the sentence, squinting his eyes at her tease.
Having none of it, Zak threw the test composed by multiple sheets on the desk, squinting his eyes at the now surprised woman.

"You know the fucking answer." the Junior growled before turning on himself and walk to the exit, causing to most of his classmates to gasp or cheer for him.

"Carder! Language and manners!" the teacher yelled, slamming her hand on the table. "Class isn't finished yet, go back to your seat, now!"

Without caring much, Zak kept walking, raising both his hand and gifting her two middle fingers before exiting the class, overwhelmed with anger and disappointment.

'I'm so sorry, Darryl.'

'I hope Zak is doing okay...' the blonde boy thought, fidgeting with his pen in the between of his fingers.

With his head supported by his hand and elbow resting on the table, Darryl couldn't help but keep thinking about the short boy, over and over again.
It was the first time in years he wasn't able to focus on his class, and the teacher noticed.

"Noveschosh, focus." the young man called once again, with a bitter smile printed on his face.

Boggling at his words, the Senior excused himself quickly sitting properly, while snickers and murmurs shortly after filled the class.
Used to those laughs that would always come at every mistake he would make, Darryl simply sighed, looking down at the open book on the table.

Still unable to focus, his eyes started to wander around the classroom, landing on Dave, sitting five desks apart from him. He happened to share some of Darryl's classes, and it was anything but pleasant.

Memories of what happened during the baseball match, specifically the Senior pushing and insulting Zak during a timeout, became bulky in his head, building up a sort of anger inside Darryl causing him to unconsciously dig his nails into the palms of his hands.

Right after, the loud noise caused by the bell announced the end of fourth period, and the Seniors started packing up their things without waiting for the teacher permission, as always.

Darryl quickly tucked his belongings into his backpack, putting it then on his shoulder, glaring back at Dave, who was talking with two unknown classmates.
Without hesitating, the blonde boy walked to him, trying his best to repress that unusual anger in himself.

"Dave, can we talk?" he calmly asked once in front of his table, catching his attention and causing him to lazily turn towards him.

"Why should we?" Dave replied, his expression quickly turning into an annoyed one as soon as his eyes landed on Darryl.

In the meanwhile, the two boys on the other side of the table, glared at Darryl with mockery, one crossings his arms against his chest, the other tucking his hands in the Jean's pockets.

"I just want to talk, am I asking too much?" Darryl answered, slightly squinting his eyes.

A grin grew on Dave's lips, who then learned against the back of his seat.

"Apparently you are, twink. Especially if you're gonna talk about that faggot-"

Slamming a hand on the baseball player's desk and causing to the two guys except Dave to flinch, Darryl interrupted his sentence and leaned closer to him, narrowing his eyes.

"You better leave Zak the fuck alone." he growled tight-lipped.

"Or else?" Dave calmly asked tilting his head, impassive to his actions and words.

"Or you're going to regret it bitterly, and you know perfectly what I mean." he replied in a murmur, turning on himself and walking away to the exit as soon as he finished his sentence.

"Oh yeah? What are you gonna do exactly, turn me gay or something?" Dave shouted back at him, laughing with his two friends.

Darryl didn't stop walking and exited the classroom, clenching his hands into fist and gritting his teeth together.

'Oh my goodness, it's back. Not again.' he thought, overwhelmed by all those negative and destructive emotions.

Trying to calm himself down, he started to walk in Zak's classroom direction, freezing after seeing the short boy standing not far from him.
As soon as his eyes landed on the Junior, everything bad he was feeling got replaced with more positive emotions, that changed again into worry as he noticed Zak's expression didn't look happy at all.

"Zak?" Darryl catched his attention with his usual soft and warm voice. "Why are you here so soon? What happened?" he asked as he got closer to him, reciving a sad glance from the Junior, who had a blank expression on his face.

Without answering to any of the Senior's question, Zak grabbed Darryl's wrists without hesitating and started walking, leading him as they walked towards the end of the hallway.
Following silently the short boy, the older couldn't help but keep glancing at him, more than only concerned.
They arrived in front of the bathroom door and entered, luckily it was empty.
Zak leaded the blonde boy into a stall, then locked both into it.

"Zak, what-"

The short boy silently hugged him without hesitation, burying his face into his chest. That's all he wanted to do.

"Oh my goodness..."

Darryl wrapped Zak in his arms, pulling him even closer.

"It didn't go well, did it?"

The late afternoon sky was hidden from puffy clouds of a dark grayish gradient, announcing that an intense rain could start at any moment.
Zak was laying on the floor of the dorm by the french window, blankly staring an undefined point of the sky.
He didn't move from down there since after having recovered from the massive panic attack he had an hour before, not finding a motive to do so.

Darryl wasn't there. For the first time in days, Zak felt alone again. Painfully alone.
The Senior reluctantly left the dorm hours before after being called by the school's doctor, who asked him help with the monthly inventory.

«I'll be back soon, don't worry, little muffin.» that's what he reassuringly said before closing the door, with his usual sweet and reassuring smile printed on his lips.

Zak was tired.
He didn't understand.

As soon as Darryl would leave him, his feelings would switch off, finding himself back at that numbness which he was slowly drowning in.
It was exhausting to try decipher his feelings.
Often, he would find himself hoping to become totally numb once again, once for all.

Feelings are what kill you, after all.

The phone on the kitchen counter started to vibrate between regular pauses for the second time in that hour, abruptly snatching Zak back to reality.
Sighing deeply, the short boy turned his head towards the noise, staring at it for some seconds and waiting for it to stop before closing his eyes.
For the third time after a minute of silence, another call arrived, causing to the phone to vibrate once again.
Zak weakly opened his eyes, groaning at the insistence of the caller, and forced himself to get up from the cold floor.
Stumbling towards the counter, the short boy reached out to the phone, and without looking at who exactly was calling him, he accepted and brought it to his hear.

"Oh, hi Zak, I'm Callahan." a familiar voice greeted, with a little bit of surprise. "Hope I don't disturb you."

"Shit." Zak silently swore after moving the phone away from his mouth. "Hi, you don't, don't worry. Do you have any news?" his voice came out more hoarse than expected, and his anxiety kicked in.

"I do, but I have sadly have only bad news." the lawyer on the other side calmly stated, while the short boy silently opened the french window of the dorm.

"Why I'm not surprised..." he murmured, getting outside on the balcony.

"The state will only support you financially until you're eighteen, but won't support your health insurance in any way. I'm sorry, Zak, you won't be able to get recovered and go under treatment. I tried everything on my power to get you something better, but they refused and declined everything I requested for." Callahan explained, his voice wasn't as calm as before.

The short boy let himself fall backwards, his back slammed against the wall behind him, sliding then down it. His body slumped on the ground as his energies lacked out of the blue, finding hard even to even only keep the phone against his hear.

"Your father had only seventy-five dollars in his back account, and I tried my best to find your mother, in vain."

Letting his head hit the hard and scratchy surface he was laying against, Zak squeezed his eyes, finding hard to understand all those words flowing non stop out of Callahan mouth.

"I know this is a lot, Zak, but I'll find a way to get you out from this situation, I promise you." the adult reassured, after stopping to talk for a few seconds.

'With seventy-five dollars I can't afford shit...' he thought, focusing on his pills more than food and others supplies.

"What about... a detox?" Zak hesitantly asked in a whisper, closing his eyes back shut.

"What?"

Callahan question received nothing but silence in reply.

"Zak, you said you were clean." the lawyer voice changed once again, this time in an angrier one.

"I lied." the short boy quietly admitted, sighing silently.

"What?! Do you realize you not only lied to me, but to the police too, right?! God damnit!" he snapped, raising his tone of voice.

"What the fuck was I supposed to do, Callahan? Tell them 'Oh, yeah, I'm still a junkie that still fucking buys drugs illegally even after being arrested three fucking times for it! Would you like to arrest me for the fourth one? Oh, right, before I became fucking anorexic, I was the one who months ago robbed that old ass Seven Eleven on Saturn Street, and guess why? Because I was starving to death thanks to my father!' What about this, uh, Callahan?" Zak angrily blurted out, his hoarse voice cracking multiples times due the effort to contain himself to explode. "C'mon, I'm not fucking stupid." he could feel his eyes sting, filling up with tears, and squeezing them angrily, he avoided them to fall off.

Thw lawyer didn't make a single noise in response to his words, if he was trying to process what Zak said or he simply didn't know how to answer, wasn't clear.

"Please, just answer my question." the short boy muttered, not standing the bulky silence his own words created.

"I'm sorry, Zak." after some interminable seconds, that was Callahan answer.

"No, please... Don't say it..." Zak whispered burying his face into his hands, keeping the phone against his hear with his shoulder.

"Detox Centers are covered by an health insurance, which you don't have anymore."

"Fuck" he sobbed out in reply, collapsing under his last hope to get better disappearing.

"Zak, you have to stop doing illegal stuff, for how hard it is. If the police will catch you, you'll surely end up in a situation way worse than the one you're already are in. They will for sure refuse to even listen to me, and will cut you off from any type of help I'm trying to get you." Callahan scolded, with a severe tone of voice.

"You don't understand... I don't even have money to pay you in the fucking first place, Callahan." Zak pointed out, wiping some of the tears that escaped his eyes with the back of his bandaged hand.

"Thinking about to pay me should be your last worry. I don't need and don't want any money from you, okay?" the lawyer reassured with a softer voice.

Silence towered over the two for some other moment.

"Why are you doing this..?" Zak asked in a whisper, shaking his head.

"Sorry?" the adult replied, not catching his question.

"Why do you want to help me this badly?"

"Because I was in the same situation, Zak. And I want you to get something better than what I got." Callahan stated, sighing.

Other silence let the lawyer's words fluctuate in the short boy head.

"Thank you." Zak murmured, closing his eyes.

"Dont worry. As I said, I'll try my very best to find a way to get you out of this situation. I promise. I'll keep you updated, have a nice evening, Zak. Take care." the lawyer reassured, hos voice softening as he greeted the teen.

"Yeah, have a nice evening too." he greeted back before clicking the red circle on the screen and letting his arms fall on the sides of his body.

After staring at the nothing in front of him, Zak brought the phone back in front of him, unblocking it and searching through someone the contacts.
As he found it, he pushed his finger against the screen, starting a new call.
Pressing the warm phone back against his hear, he listened to the regular beeping, waiting for the contact to pick up.

"Hi Zak, what's up?" a familiar deep voice asked on the other side, some other people talking and music on the background were audible.

"Hi Dream, nothing much, what about you?" Zak replied with nonchalant, it wasn't hard to him to hide how he was feeling.

"In, like, half an hour there's gonna be a sick party at Zelk's, wanna come? There's gonna be a lot of fun, belive me!"

A sick and distorted smile grew on Zak's lips.

"I'm in." he answered, hanging up.

Weakly getting up from the ground, Zak walked inside the dorm, closing the window behind him.
He stood there for some moment before looking at the kitchen counter, specifically at the same cyan sticky notes Darryl used to write that message he found in his pencil case.
There was a pen beside them, and after staring blankly at it, he approached it.
He quickly scribbled something on the small piece of paper, snatching it off from the rest of the block and sticking it conspicuously on the fridge.
After wearing Darryl's hoodie that he left on the couch and putting the hod on, Zak walked out of the dorm, locking it once outside.

'hope you'll understand, Darryl...'

«Don't look for me.»

That was what he wrote.

[unedited, words: 3027]
this chapter was supposed to be longer, but after surpassing 4000 words i decided to cut it in half, hope you dont mind :)
I love you guys sososososo much
thank you all for everything
<3