"I'm here, little muffin. Everything is okay." the older boy softly whispered, hugging Zak and caressing his back, trying to calm him down after another panic attack caused by the umpteenth nightmare.

The short boy let out small and suffocated whimpers, clenching his hands on Darryl's t-shirt, his watery eyes wide open and his heart racing.

"You're safe now. Follow me and take deep breaths with me, okay?" he asked, without stopping caressing Zak's back.

After a nod in reply, Darryl broke the hug and hold both of the younger boy's hands, and looking at him right in the eyes, he started to slow and deepen his own breathing, followed right after by Zak, who struggled at first but managed to calm down after a few tries.

"You're doing good, lil muffin, you're doing good." he reassured, bringing both hands on his face and carefully wiping his tears away.

Zak looked away from him and let out a long shaky breath, then glanced back at the blonde boy with a mortified and tired look.

"I'm sorry..." he murmured with a hoarse voice, moving his eyes back down.

Wrapping an arm around the short boy waist and slowly leading him back down against his chest, Darryl sighed silently.

"Don't be, everything's okay." he reassured, tenderly running his fingers through Zak's raven hair. "It's not your fault, PTSD is really rough, and I want to help you through it." he continued, smiling at his torso getting wrapped by the Junior's arms. "But I can't do it alone, you need professional help, Zak."

A moment of silence followed his words, and before the short boy spoke up, he adjusted his head on his chest in a more comfortable position, accompanied by a long sigh.

"When Callahan calls, I'll ask him about it." He quietly replied. "But still, I'm sorry i kept you up all night..."

Darryl stared at him without stopping his hands, one still through his raven hair and the other reaching Zak's one, then smiled by himself tiredly.

"Alright, it's time to be honest with you, little muffin." He murmured, sighing quietly. "I have really, really bad insomnia, I barely sleep at night and mostly pass them studying or... Thinking."

The firsts rays of sunshine from the sun peeking in the between of the distant buildings, slowly lit up the surroundings with a pleasant yellowish color.
Letting Darryl's words floating in the air for a pair of seconds, Zak turned on the other side so he could face him, laying his head back down on his chest.

"Really? Why didn't you tell me?" he asked, furrowing his eyebrows.

"It's... stupid." replied, shrugging and restarting to run his fingers through his raven hair.

"It's not." he retorted, his voice peaking and cracking.

Darryl couldn't help but smile at Zak's cuteness, risking to giggle at his voice peaking everytime he talked back at something that wasn't of his liking.

"Don't even try to laugh at my voice cracks!" the short boy squeaked right after noticing his expression altering.

The older boy was now laughing at his tender reaction, so Zak got up from his chest and crossed his arms, forcing a pout, ending up to giggle quietly carried away by Darryl laughter.
It was strange how fast the mood changed, but its was nice it did in a positive way.

"Come here, you muffin!" he exclaimed, wrapping his small body in his arms and laying back down with him, still slightly giggling.

The two were now facing each other, one in the other's arms, Darryl smiled tenderly and gave a small kiss on Zak forehead.

"Thank you, I couldn't even remember when the last time I laughed was... I really needed it, little muffin." he said softly, widening his smile.

Smiling back and almost letting out a small 'Aw', Zak leaned his head against his shoulder.

"Thank you too... I have no idea what or where would I be if you didn't help me through this..." he quietly admitted, closing his eyes.

"Aw, I'll always be there for you." reminded in reply, caressing his hair once again.

"Darryl? Really off topic but... since i don't have any hoodie, could I uh... borrow yours?" quietly asked, not moving an inch.

"Of course you can!" he replied, totally not flustered by his request.

'I'm one hundred percent not going to steal it like your jacket.' Zak thought, laughing to himself.

"It's ten past seven, we should get ready for school." Darryl said, tightening the hug for a pair of seconds before letting go and sitting up.

"Wait, how do you know?" The younger asked, confused.

"Hehe, that's a secret!"

Zak rolled on the side, groaning loudly and stretching his arms and legs, ending up to crash against Darryl hip.

"I don't wanna go to school." he whined, lengthening the last syllabus.

"Come on, you muffin." the older boy incited, standing up in front of him.

"I'm too weak to walk!" he pretended, stretching his arms up.

Darryl giggled at Zak childish behavior, secretly in love with it, and then grabbed both of his hands for carefully pulled him up from the blanket on the floor.

"Hanya!"

Still softly chuckling, the blonde boy let go only one of Zak's hand and started walking, leading him towards the dorms, softly chattering.

'Fuck, this was a mistake, this was a huge mistake.'

Now everyone eyes weren't aimed on Zak's bruises anymore, but on the hoodie he was wearing instead.
Walking as fast as he could down the hallway towards the exit, he anxiously looked around in search of Dave, fearing to meet him. The two's friendship was on the edge, and for obvious reasons, the short boy wasn't in the best mood to go through an argument, especially in front of everyone.

Zak was going to Darryl for lunch, but he regretted not telling him to meet at the usual place, it was way too far and exposed compared to the stadium stairs.

Right after turning the second last corner before reaching the exit door, Zak's phone, that miraculously had with him, started to vibrate with regular intervals.
Groaning, he pulled it out from the jeans pocket without ceasing to walk, looking then at the screen with his eyes widening.

'Oh. shi-' he couldn't even finishing his imprecation that he ended up bumping into someone, since he wasn't looking where he was going.

"Zak, fucking finally." a deep voice muttered, tight-lipped.

'Oh. shit.'

The short boy hesitantly looked up, totally not surprised to find Dave in front of him, typical of his inexistent fortune.
He could still feel his phone vibrating non-stop in his hand, and the worst part was he couldn't not answer to that call.

"Dave, I really can't talk now, I-" he tried to explain, bringing both his hands in front of himself.

"Oh, do you think I care, nerd?" the older boy cut him off, narrowing his eyes. "There's no way you're going to participate at Saturday's game, not in these conditions."

"Dave, please. Not here, and not now." he quietly replied, feeling everyone eyes on them and also the phone now still.

"And when, then? Don't even try to tell me 'later' because you're going to mock me once again and I'm sick of your dumb excuses, Zak. It's time to face reality." He harsly said, with a anger an tiredness never seen before.

'I fucked up even with him, didn't I?'

The phone resumed to vibrate regularly in his hand, while he was anxiously running his eyes through the other students who were slowly grouping around the two.

"Please, I really can't." He quietly murmured looking down, almost begging.

Dave ducked down to Zak's height, their faces now only a few inches away from each other, the phone stopped vibrating again, and the crowd who surrounded the two started screaming, promoting a fight.

"I'll do everything on my power to kick you out from the team if you don't get you shit together and go under recovery, Zak. Don't underestimate me." Dave threatened in a quiet murmur, getting then up and purposely bumping into his shoulder while walking away.

The short boy stared at the ground, hearing the muffled voices of the crowd around him slowly abating, restarting walking without pulling his eyes away from the floor.

'This is so fucking stupid.'

The day continued quite slowly, and Zak eventually forgot about the call, but not about Dave and his Threat, that made his anxiety peak dangerously.
Darryl noticed his nervousness right after they meet for lunch, and tried his best to relax him a little, in vain.
The two were now studying together at the older's dorm, every once in a while, Darryl would compliment Zak on his improvements, but still not obtaining any positive reaction out of it.

"Zak, you look very tired... Today we studied more than enough, we can stop here, okay?"

"I have the test monday and I still can't do half of what I should be able to. We can't stop." He talked back, almost aggressively.

"It's literally nine, we studied for more than five hours straight now." Darryl pointed out, arching his eyebrows.

Zak shrugged in reply, throwing the pen he was fidgeting with on the table reluctantly while letting himself fall against the back of the chair, then sighing loudly.

"Whatever, as you wish." he muttered, crossing his arms.

"Zak, can you tell me what's going on?" Darryl asked, leaning towards.

"Uh? What are you talking about?" He replied, his voice cracking once again.

"You know what I'm talking about."

"No I don't." he talked back.

"Zak, please."

"Whatever," he snapped, brusquely getting up from his chair. "I'm leaving." muttered, walking towards the door without hesitation.

"Wait!"

Too late, the door closed behind the short boy, who without even realizing arrived in front of his own dorm and stood there, doing nothing but stare at the entrance.

'What am I even doing..?' he asked to himself, leaning his forehead against the door.

Sighing, Zak looked the same way where he came from, and decided to walk back. Once at the last floor, he knocked to the same door he exited only s few minutes before, his eyes glued down on the floor.
The door opened immediately, and Darryl looked at Zak with his usual concerned look.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to react that way. I'm just..." The short boy tried to explain, getting hugged by him right after.

"Tired." He finished his sentence, softly tightening the hug. "It's okay, little muffin. Come in.'

It was raining outside, Zak was sad because of it, he wanted to stay on the rooftop and to get cuddled by Darryl.
The blonde boy had the same plan as his, since after laying on the couch, he opened his arms in Zak's direction, smiling warmly. He couldn't help himself but fall in his arms, getting wrapped and immersed by a pleasant warmth, which made him immediately more sleepy and tired.

"Thank you for everything, Darryl..." He murmured sleepily, mot able to keep his eyes open anymore.

Zak breathing became slow and regular right after, indicating he fell asleep. Looking tenderly at him, Darryl couldn't help but smile.

"You're welcome," he softly replied, carefully passing one hand through his raven hair. "I love you, little muffin."

「cafuné.」

(n.) A Portuguese term referring to the affectionate action of tenderly running your fingers through a loved ones hair.

hi.
sorry for this a/n, but i really need to tell you about some important things and changes.

First of all, my schedule is changed due school and personal problems, so from now one I'll post twice a week. I'm not sure, I'm not good at programming things, sorry.

Second, I'm thinking about changing this story title to "Metanoia.", wich is a greek word that means "the journey of changing one's mind, heart, self and way to live". I think it's more accurate than the actual one.
I'm not sure if it's a good idea tho, what y'all think about it?

And last but not least, thank you for everything, guys. I love every single one of you so so so so so much.
<3
Sorry for this bad and messy chapter, i hate it sm h

Have a nice night.
[

unedited, 2055 words.]