Alright, so I moved to the city and made you curious as to what is so great about being a nobody?

What? Y'all really want to know?

But let me address something real quick: yeah, it's true that I miss my mom and my dad. As I told you before, I was loved. I was the apple of their eye. It's nice being the apple of people's eyes. I highly recommend everyone to be one for someone (multiple someones are even better) at some point in their life.

Moving on!

Let me take you into a flashback, with those black-and-white filters and a sad tune playing in the background. When I'd first reached the nearest city, which I'll call (surprise, surprise) City.

A poor man with little money in his pocket (I'll explain the money in a sentence: I had a history of begging before leaving my town).

And more importantly, City is an expensive place that the past me could've easily afforded to live in. But Nobody was different. I was almost broke. I shamelessly tried begging again. You know what I found? City-folks were hard-hearted. Instead of gazing at my grimy form with pity, they sneered at me, commented that I was "ruining the beauty of City" and some other mean things I have long forgotten.

When I begged in front of shops, they shooed me away! Like I was an animal! The gall of them! Had they known who my parents were, they'd have rolled out a freaking red carpet and welcomed me!

What a heartless bunch!

With those paltry coins in my pocket, I wandered the streets till I noticed they became dirtier and dirtier. Then, in some shady bakery, I bought my first meal in the city - a bun. I was so delighted that I could buy one and still have some coins for another the next day.

It mattered little that the bun was stale. If one is hungry to the point of madness, even spoiled food becomes ambrosia.

In this part of City, there were many like the present me. Hopeless, forgotten, and unloved. People like these slept on the streets. The nights in City were comfortable; unlike my hometown, it was warm. The guy next to me blamed it on pollution. 'All the filthy air is pushed to this side of the city, believe it or not,' he said while picking his teeth with his nails.

Then I changed my fate. Or Fate happened to me. Whichever way you like to think.

It's a funny story, really.

The next day, when I walked into the same shady bakery, I saw a little girl behind the counter. She must have been about six or seven. She wore ragged clothes. Her face was like that of a normal child's, full of innocence. With her guileless eyes, she looked at me, in askance. That was my first time smiling in City.

She wanted to say something to me, I supposed. She climbed onto a chair behind the counter and looked at me. She was holding a ragged doll, and the sight moved me. I believe it was because of how unfortunate she seemed to be. Before she could open her mouth, a loud discouraging grunt from her humongous father sent her scrambling away.

I took the bun and left.

This time, I was truly broke.

As I munched on the bun, I wandered around, thinking: I should find a job somewhere, but who'd hire a nobody like me?

Enough of the sad stuff! You may think at this point, you said it was a funny story! Ah, pardon me, my dear. I got a bit carried away. You see, sometimes, when people tell their story, they focus too much on the sad stuff, hoping to receive some empathy from the listeners. I believe that empathy is the greatest gift we can bestow upon our fellow human beings. By the end of the story, you'll understand why.

Anyway, we're close to the funny bit.

You see, getting a stable job was impossible because my employers would forget about me the next day. It would put in an endless Day 1 cycle. Can you imagine? Every single day, you've got to tell people what you're good at, why they should hire you, etc, etc. An endless cycle of embarrassment and discomfort.

I walk around, late into the night. An hour before midnight, actually. I remember this because I stopped to admire the displays of an antique shop where I saw a dusty grandfather clock ticking away.

I saw a wall of missing posters. Some aged, some new, one atop the other. I wondered if anyone would look for me. Then I recollected that I was Nobody. That was my name. How could anyone look for me?

I was still hungry. Back at home, I used to eat three meals a day, with each meal consisting of appetizers, the main dish, and a dessert.

I passed by a decent-looking bakery that time. I made this conjecture in my head that each street in City had a bakery. Then I sighed because it was closed.

As I returned, I looked at the grandfather clock again.

That's when I thought I saw a piece of home.

My mother used to have this pearl necklace that she loved dearly. When I was a child, I used to think that they were someone's teeth that had been rounded by artisans. A very bizarre picture for a child, but that hardly the point. When I grew older, I learned how those pearls come to be. To this day, I believe that my imagination was far better.

Anyway, the pearl necklace on the mannequin looked like a cheap replica, but I itched to hold it.

I felt so desperate to have it... To hold a bit of home in my hands.

I was penniless. I was a nobody.

And yet I wanted to hold the warmth of home.

Instinctually, I flung my fist into the glass. It shattered on impact. Before I knew it, I was clutching the pearl and running away.

I heard someone shout after me. It awakened people in the neighbourhood because the dark windows were suddenly bright and yellow.

I found a dingy alleyway and pressed my back against the wall. I held the necklace close to my heart.

My lungs burned. My heart raced. My feet ached. My stomach grumbled.

But I had a piece of home in my hands.

Had you asked me then, 'Are you truly happy?' I would have gasped and said, 'Yes!'

The hell, you old fogey! I think you might exclaim at this point, none of this is funny! Where's the bloody humour!

I agree, this bit was quite sad. How about this? By the time this story is done, by the time you put down this book, you'll realize what's funny; you'll find the humour. I promise.

I might be Nobody but I always keep my promises.