epilogue, summer break

THE sun sat high in the sky as Aera applied sunblock to her legs. Next to her lay Yena who swung her legs through the air as she dodged fast-moving trains and brightly colored barriers during her Subway Surfers run. The familiar theme song floats through the air and Aera absentmindedly nodded her head to the song, nostalgia washing over as he recounts the memories spent after school challenging Yena to see who could run the longest. 

      Looking out across the sand, Aera finds five out of the seven boys who never fail to make her day splashing about in the clear blue and harshly bright ocean water. Their laughter is loud as they attempt to drag Sunghoon beneath the waves, but as always, Sunghoon puts up a fight with his limbs flailing around carelessly. 

       Beside her, Yena shrieks and Aera glances back to see Yena slamming into a fast-moving train. "This game is so stupid! I swiped left! Why didn't Ninja go left?" Throwing the phone down onto her beach towel, Yena moans loudly and holds her face in her hands. 

        Aera laughs loudly and slides her sunblock dispenser back into a nearby bag. "Or maybe you're just bad." 

       Yena looks at Aera and scowls, reaching out to pinch the girl's uncovered thighs. Aera yelps and scoots out of Yena's reach, returning Yena's scowl. "Ow!" 

       Before they could bicker any more, Jungwon and Riki return with their hands cupped. Aera and Yena stare at the boys questioningly who uncup their hands and Yena shrieks loudly, throwing herself off the towel the moment she saw the crab Riki held in his palms. "What the fuck!" 

         "Do you not like Mr. Krabs?" Riki pouts. 

        "Krabs spelled with a 'K' because of the Krebs Cycle we learned in high school," Jungwon clarifies, puffing out his chest. 

        "You learned about the Krebs cycle in high school?" Aera asks, "I learned about it in middle school." 

        "Sorry we aren't smart like you, Aera," Riki scoffs, rolling his eyes. 

       "Who cares!" Yena exclaims, "where did you find those beastly things? Put it back! I don't want it anywhere near me!" 

         Riki smirks and leaps forward. Yena screams and scrambles to get up, tripping over her feet a couple of times before finally standing upright and sprinting away. "Wow," Aera says, watching Yena run, "I've never seen her run that fast before." 

         "Do you like Mr. Krabs, Aera?" Riki asks, admiring the crab that moves across his palm. 

         "Of course," Aera responds, letting Jungwon sit down beside her and wrap an arm around her waist. "But don't you think Mr. Krabs would be happier back where you found him? I'm sure he has friends and family waiting for him. It's not nice to take someone away without their consent, baby." 

       "I suppose so," Riki says, pouting, "so this means I can't keep him?" 

      Aera shakes her head, "no, go put Mr. Krabs back, Riki." 

     Aera watches Riki stalk away, then turns to Jungwon, "what did you have in your hands?" 

     "A Ladybug, it flew off the moment I opened up my hands though," Jungwon pouts and Aera giggles, poking Jungwon's cheek. Moments later, Jungwon lays down and he pulls Aera down with him, his arms still wrapped around Aera's waist. 

       Today was Jungwon's third day back from Korea. He and Sunghoon left America for Korea two days after the school year ended. They were spending six weeks in Korea and Aera had never seen Sunghoon more nervous. Aera can still clearly hear Jungwon's girlfriend, Yuri, scolding Sunghoon over the phone as she stood in the airport with them on the day of their flight. Sunghoon was second-guessing coming over to Korea after he and his ex-girlfriend finally decided to have the long-dreaded talk.

        If Sunghoon's Instagram stories and posts, as well as the big smile on his face when Aera saw him back in America three days ago, are anything to go by, Aera can guess Sunghoon was successful in winning his ex-girlfriend (who finally has a name! Lauren Dia!) back. Sunghoon has never stopped smiling and he's glued to his phone most of the time now. 

       "How are you not sunburnt, Aera?" Jungwon mumbles, his eyes shut. 

       Aera shrugs, "I'm tan enough, I suppose." 

      "Do you have any sunblock? I think my ears are going to get sunburnt." 

      "Yeah," Aera pushes herself up and reaches for the sunblock she had put away moments ago. "Do you want me to help you?" 

        Jungwon nods his head, "put it all over my face and ears, please." 

      As Aera helps apply sunblock to Jungwon's face, Yena returns complaining about how hot the sand was. "I swear I just burnt the bottom of my feet off, Riki's a fucking menace. Why am I even moving in with him?" 

        "Go and move in with Heeseung and Beomgyu if he bothers you that much," Aera retorts. 

       Yena sighs, "no. I won't get any sleep — because they'll be gaming the entire night. Not because I'll be having sex every five to ten minutes." 

         "Sure," Jungwon responds, not convinced.

      Yena rolls her eyes. "Babe! Hey!" Yena waves her hand and Aera looks over, capping her sunblock, to see Heeseung and Sunoo heading towards them. Heeseung was shaking his head side to side, spraying water everywhere and Sunoo slaps the older boy, complaining. 

        Heeseung reaches the group and collapses on top of Yena, squishing her against the beach towel. Yena squeals and slaps Heeseung, demanding he gets off her. "You're getting me wet!" 

         Jungwon snorts and Yena sends the boy a glare. "Get your mind out of the gutter, Jungwon." 

         "Who said I was thinking about your comment like that?" 

       Yena scowls. 

      Heeseung lifts himself off Yena, kissing her gently and reaching over to grab a soft drink out of the cooler Sunghoon and Jake carried out of the beach house because they were too lazy to walk from the beach to the house. 

        "You should join us in the water," Heeseung says, easily opening up the can of Coca-Cola. After taking a sip, he passes it to Yena who also takes a sip and allows herself to be pulled on top of Heeseung. 

       "No," Yena responds, "you'll attempt to drown me." 

       "Attempt," Heeseung repeats, adding emphasis. "And that's the fun of it!" 

      Yena shakes her head. "No. I think I quite like laying here, with Aera, and attempting to beat my high score on Subway Surfers — which is four million, in case anyone cares." 

        "iPad kid," Sunoo mutters, grabbing a Pepsi can. 

       Yena kicks Sunoo in the shin. "Shut up, you're an English Major." 

      The loud bickering of Jay, Jake, and Sunghoon fills the silence. "I won," Sunghoon says, scowling, "I held my breath for the longest!" 

      "No," Jake refuses, "you only won because you cheated. I was so going to win if you hadn't tickled the back of my knee!" 

       "That's just a schematic," Sunghoon waves off Jake's words. 

        "That's not the word —" 

        "No one won," Jay cuts in. "Sunghoon cheated, and Jake came up before Sunghoon. It's null, void, we can have another competition later." 

        Both Jake and Sunghoon scowl, but nod their head. Jake's head turns to look at Aera and a giant grin spreads across his face. "Hey baby, I missed you!" He turns back to Sunghoon, "next time we're having a breath-holding contest, Aera will be the referee and if you cheat, she gets to punch you." 

        Sunghoon rolls his eyes. "Whatever." He flops down on Riki's SHINee beach towel and groans, flinging his arm over his face to shield the sun. 

         Jake crawls between Aera's legs and rests his head on her bare stomach, his breath tickling her skin. "You're so cold," Aera complains as Jake drips cold ocean water onto Aera's bare skin. Jake's laugh raises more goosebumps across Aera's skin. 

         "Sorry baby," Jake replies, "you look hot in your bikini, by the way." 

        Aera pushes a hand through Jake's hair, "thank you." 

      "Lauren looks good in a bikini," Sunghoon says, earning a collective groan from his friends. 

       The group of friends was staying at Aera's beach house for the rest of their summer break. It was nice to get away from the hustle of their normal lives — having to work, pay their college tuition, spend time with their college guidance advisors, go to the bank, and do other adulting stuff. 

        It was nice spending days with her friends. Aera never wants this summer to end. 

       "Where's Riki?" Jay asks, "I was about to hand him his gross Mountain Dew." 

      "I told him to go put the crab he caught away," Aera says, "but he's taking longer than usual. Someone should go check on him, make sure he didn't drown or something." 

       "I'll go," Jungwon says, rolling away from Yena, grabbing a random bucket hat that was poking out of someone's bag, "I know where we found those crabs." 

      "Don't get lost," Yena calls out, distracted by her phone once again as she narrowly dodges trains. 

        Jungwon runs away from the group, his figure getting smaller as he travels further. "I hope Riki hasn't died," Sunoo comments, "because I'll feel torn. Should I be happy he's dead? Or sad?" 

          "There are Pros and Cons," Jake says, "Pros; no more Mountain Dew and we can get rid of The Pan. Cons; I'll miss him, he agreed to all my ideas and helped me prank people." 

         Aera hums in agreement, "though when Sunghoon dies, I'll just have Pros. No Cons." 

       "You're such a bitch, Aera. Jake, why are you dating her?" Sunghoon snaps, glaring at Aera who smirks back. 

         "Because I love her," Jake responds, his lips ghosting over Aera's stomach. 

         "That's a stupid reason." 

        "Shut the fuck up, Sunghoon." 

◾◾◾◾

A gentle breeze filters into the living room later in the evening. After Jungwon had pulled Riki away from terrorizing the crab village he found, and Aera and Yena had been throwing into the cold ocean water, the group all walked back to the beach house to have showers and then decide on what they should do for dinner. 

      "Jay should cook," Riki was saying, "he can cook his steak. I miss having steak every day for dinner. Mom, I miss you," he looks up to the sky, "mom I'm sorry I took your food for granted." 

      Sunoo snorts, "we should go to that Italian restaurant again. Their spaghetti was to die for." 

      "I agree with Sunoo," Yena says, "their pasta was really good. Maybe I should try their pizza this time, Heeseung we could share a pizza!" Yena's eyes were akin to a puppy's eyes as she grips Heeseung's arm and stares at her boyfriend. 

      "I'm with Yena on this," Heeseung says, smiling fondly at his girlfriend. 

      "Of course you are," Jay mutters. 

      "Let's go to the Italian place then," Aera says, "I don't want to keep on arguing over food. Let's go to the Italian place today, and then go to that Chinese restaurant Sunghoon wants to try tomorrow." 

      "I like it when you're assertive, baby," Jake says, kissing Aera's cheek. 

      "I'm not assertive," Aera responds curtly, "I'm hungry." 

      "Well then," Jake claps his hands, "let's hurry up and get down to the Italian restaurant, I don't want my baby going hungry any longer." 

      "Can we wait an hour? I'm meant to facetime Lauren. I promised!" Sunghoon asks, looking up from his phone. 

      "No," the group choruses together. 

      "Fuck you all," Sunghoon scowls. 

      The group disperses to get ready for dinner. Yena and Aera travel up to their shared room discussing what to wear and what they should order from the restaurant. "Do you think we could convince Jay to pay?" Yena was asking. 

      "Maybe, but we could convince Riki to pay! He's always saying he wants to pay for a meal at least once in his life," Aera responds, stepping into their shared room and shuffling through her clothes. 

      "Anyone but us can pay," Yena says, her voice muffled as she tugs on a pink top, "we're the most important people in our friend group. VIPs, if you will." 

      Aera giggles, but she knew Yena was right. They were important to the seven boys in their own ways. It was too much to describe, but all that mattered was the fact that Aera and Yena could call the seven boys who weaned their way into their lives, home, which was enough. It was the warmth they felt whenever they crashed Jay's, Sunghoon's, and Jake's apartment, it was the warmth they felt when they randomly bumped into one of the seven boys on the campus and they're greeted with the loudest cheer and warmest hug one could ever receive — love flowed from their fingertips. 

      That love was evident whenever they were all together. In Aera's search for true, desirable love, she found a love that's hard to find — love that will last for a lifetime. Love that is so unconditional. Aera found love that is warm and homely, love that is welcoming, that loves who are and who you will become. It's familial love, a love that is understanding. Family doesn't have to be defined by blood, and Aera learned that with Yena. Family can be with whoever. For Aera, she could be her second family, she found a group that will love each other unconditionally, a group of friends who will love each other until the end of forever. For Yena, she found her family. Yena went from having no family — to having a shell of what a family should be, to having Aera and her family as her only family, to having seven boys her family. 

      As Aera and Yena approach their friends all hanging by the front door, waiting for the pair of them, she sees Sunghoon, Sunoo, and Riki argue over something incredibly stupid, and Jungwon stands to the side trying to mediate the argument, Heeseung and Jay laughing over what was probably a stupid TikTok on Heeseung's phone, and Jake leaning against the doorframe, eyes lighting up when he sees Aera. 

      Aera realizes that she wouldn't trade this for anything else in the world. Jake wraps Aera up into a gentle hug and kisses her just as gently, linking their hands together as they step out the door, Jungwon hoarding the rest out after them. Their shoulders bump often as they guide the group to the restaurant, Sunghoon, Sunoo, and Riki's argument disrupting the peaceful air. 

      "You look beautiful, as always, baby," Jake compliments. 

      "Thank you, Jake, you look hot," Aera responds, grinning. 

      "Do you think I could bribe Yena to sleep in my room tonight?" 

      Aera scoffs and rolls her eyes. "You're a moron, Jake." 

      "What?! Is it bad that I like the way you make me feel?" Jake responds, clutching his chest dramatically. 

      Aera giggles lightly, "well, when you put it like that it doesn't sound bad." 

      "I do have a way with words, baby. I make you feel all warm and tingly, don't I?" 

      "You wish, Jake." 

      "That's not what you say during sex, baby." 

      Aera whacks Jake on the shoulder, "shut the fuck up." 

      "Lying makes you ugly, Aera, never forget that," Jake says, acting as a wise sixty-year-old man. 

      "Fuck you. Sometimes your words are cheesy and other times they're. . .Less cheesy."

      Jake scowls, "you said you like it when I whisper sweet nothings to you." 

      "Maybe I'm just a good liar." 

      "I hate you."

      "No, you don't."

       Jake hums and pulls Aera close, kissing her temple and then her cheek. "I don't and I don't think I ever will. Unless you lie to me again," he pulls Aera away from his side and assesses the girl with squinting eyes. "What have you lied to me about?" 

        Aera grins wickedly, "you'll never know!"  

      "Baby, you're the personification of a headache," Jake groans, rubbing his temples. 

        "Sucks," Aera pats Jake's cheek gently but yanks it away quickly when Jake tries to bite her. 

       Jake groans again and Aera laughs, "don't try and blame me for your problems, Jake, you're the one who fell in love with me!" 

        "Unfortunately," Jake sighs, shaking his head. 

        Aera gasps. "Whore." 

       "Did you just compliment yourself?" 

       "Jake — what the fuck?" 

        "My little whore!" Jake pulls Aera closer to him and wraps his arms around her waist, nuzzling into her neck as they continue to awkwardly walk down the sidewalk as one. 

        "What did you just call me?" 

         "You can call me your little Uranus but I can't call you my little whore?" 

          "I fucking despise you." 

          "I love you too, baby." 

        They were all welcomed into the Italian restaurant that, like the previous time they were here, was full of other family and friend groups. It was a loud, chaotic environment, but that's what made the restaurant feel warm. 

        The rest of the night was spent with laughter and amusing conversations reverberating through the restaurant, only adding to the loudness. Yena's almost cried a few times because of how stupid Jay and Sunghoon sounded when they spoke about their many weird experiences in high school — Yena also almost cried after tasting red win for the first time and deciding she never wants to touch wine ever again. 

       The night begins to lull and out comes the heartfelt words that were spoken. Out comes the truth buried deep within their hearts, and even as they cringe after speaking words their friend group likes to shy away from, an even warmer environment embraces the group after they each begin to realize what they mean to each other. 

        The walk back to the beach house is slow. They want to soak up every last moment spent in the warm night, the warm night that makes every individual feel invincible; feel on top of the world. No one can harm them when it's eleven at night. 

        "Summer is stupid," Riki grumbles, kicking at a stray rock as he walks in the middle of the road. 

         "Why do you say that, Riki?" Yena asks, playing with the hair on the nap of Heeseung's neck as he gives her a piggyback. "I think summer is fun. 

         "Yeah, but that's it. Summer is fun. Summer makes you feel happy! Summer makes you feel 'oh, maybe life isn't too bad.' Summer makes you want to live and then boom suddenly you're thrown back into an institutionalized system that makes you want to die." Riki kicks another rock, but this time it's more aggressive than his previous kick. "It's a never-ending cycle of 'oh I don't wanna die,' to 'I wanna die' and then back to 'I don't wanna die.' When will it end!" 

         "That's life, Riki," Sunghoon says with a shrug. 

          "I want to feel more than just happiness for three months and death for the remaining nine months," Riki sulks. 

        "Well then," Aera says, "let's make this school year one to remember." 

          "And how do you suggest we do that, Aera?" Riki asks, crouching down on the road to pet a cat who was, for some reason, lying in the middle of the road. Sunoo and Jungwon join Riki in patting the cat, and soon the rest of the group joins the three youngest.

         "I don't know," Aera admits, "let's just. . . Have no regrets this school year. If someone wants to party, we party, if someone wants to study, we study together, if someone wants to watch the entirety of Naruto in one sitting, we do it. No regrets!" 

         "#Noragrets," Sunghoon says. 

        No one laughs. 

      "Starting now," Sunoo says, with a pointed look at Sunghoon, "let's have regrets. So, who wants to go swimming?" 

        "Now? Really?" Riki asks, letting the cat dart off the road. 

         Riki receives eight-pointed stares and he sighs. "Fine," he turns on his heel and starts to jog away from the group, "last one in the water gets the shower last!" And then he breaks off into a sprint, cackling gleefully as the others curse him out. 

◾◾◾◾

Aera's perfect summer holiday crashes to an end and now she stands on campus for the beginning of her third year. Jake stands beside her gripping her hand tightly. "I can't believe it. Summer flew by so quickly," Jake complains, running a hand through his hair that was now a shade of grey. (Aera thought he's never looked more handsome). 

        "I guess there was some truth in Riki's words," Aera muses, "and my statement still stands. No regrets, Jake!" 

         "No regrets, baby!" Jake gives Aera a lopsided grin, kissing her lips sweetly and letting her hand slip from his grasp. "Wait, does this mean I can ask you to ditch a lecture to make out with me in some random lab and you have to say yes?" 

         "Jake, what the fuck." 

        "I'm just curious, baby! You make me sexually frustrated some days." 

         "You're going to have to learn how to keep your dick in your pants, Jake. I may be a whore, but I draw the line at throwing away my education to suck someone's dick." 

         "You're so vulgar baby," Jake grins, teeth and all, "and that makes you more attractive." 

          Aera scowls and shoves Jake harshly, holding back laughter as Jake loses his balance and almost eats shit. "You said no regrets this year, baby! And I'm going to say everything that comes to mind! I don't want to have any regrets about not saying something I should've." 

          "Now you're just twisting my words." 

          "Am not!" 

         "Yes. You are." Aera checks the time on her phone, "go to your lecture. We can make out in your car after." 

      "Yes baby," Jake reaches out to cup Aera's face, and he kisses her sweeter than any candy Aera's ever tasted. Their lips move in tandem and Aera moves closer to relish this moment — being held by Jake so delicately her heart drips honey. 

         Growing up, Aera's been to more weddings than birthdays. At every wedding, Aera would watch the groom instead of the bride, her heart soaring above the birds, doing crazy loops and bursting with excitement. The groom always looks like they're about to melt into the floor. Aera can't ever get over the feeling of watching the groom. There's so much love filling in his eyes, that it's easy to spot.

      So, at the ripe age of thirteen, Aera begins her search for true love. No matter what anyone says, she begins to search for a love that will wrap her up like a warm blanket and shelter her from the storm, but as the years pass, Aera soon finds out that everyone has different meanings of love. 

        Aera's meaning of love changed over time. She joins the group that doesn't have a set meaning attached to love because love is in everything. Love makes everything. Love is family, love is friendship, love is in kisses and warm hugs, love is in sweet smiles and meaningful words like — "I got this for you," or, "this reminded me of you," or, "you've been working so hard I wanted to treat you to something worth your time." 

        Aera found love in someone unexpected. Aera found that unattainable, unreachable love that she used to dream about. Aera realized that all that waiting she had done was worth it because her patience brought her to Jake. 

        Aera shares a love with Jake that is wild and spontaneous, they're untamable when put together because they want to do everything together, but at the same time, the love is warm and bright, it wraps them up in an embrace that's sweeter than honey. Aera appreciates the love she shares with Jake because it was something she grew into. It was a slow, gradual love. Even though falling in love with Jake was painful and scary, it was worth it in the end because what is love if not indefinite? 

          Pulling away, Aera stares at Jake as if he's her entire universe. And it's true. Jake is Aera's universe.