[001], aera and her (terrible) new year's resolution

AERA'S mom is a wedding planner. Maybe that's where Aera's fanatic idea of love came from. The joy that is felt as the bride walks down the aisle, nestled up beside what was usually her father, the gentle tone of music floating through the atmosphere, the sniffles as someone in the audience tears up at the sight of how stunning the bride looks — Aera's never loved anything more. Everyone is looking at the bride, everyone. No one can tear their eyes away.

But here's the thing; as everyone is looking at the bride, only the bride is watching the groom. That's Aera's favorite part. Watching the groom. A giant, lovestruck smile is on the groom's face, watching the love of their life walk towards them. Their eyes gloss over and everything fades out. It's just the bride and the groom. Screw the audience, no one knows the love they're feeling. No one can understand their love. It's sophisticated and challenging, it's hard to untangle from, it's intangible.

Growing up, Aera's been to more weddings than birthdays. At every wedding, Aera would watch the groom instead of the bride, her heart soaring above the birds, doing crazy loops and bursting with excitement. The groom always looks like they're about to melt into the floor. Aera can't ever get over the feeling of watching the groom. There's so much love filling in his eyes, it's easy to spot.

So, at the ripe age of thirteen, Aera begins her search for true love. No matter what anyone says, she begins to search for a love that will wrap her up like a warm blanket and shelter her from the storm, but as the year's pass, Aera soon finds out that everyone has different meanings of love. They think love is a drug, that love is a poison, that love is a cure to sadness, that love is wild and untamable, that love is only the end to someone's life. Everyone uses love to their advantage, but is it a good advantage, or a bad advantage? Aera isn't quite sure. Within all the different definitions of love, Aera finds love cynics, people who think love is a myth, those who are deep in love with fifty people. No one shares the same outlook as Aera.

Aera wants a love that's wild, but tameable. She wants a love that's warm, comforting, and secure, yet exciting and spontaneous. She wants to be able to share all her deep thoughts with her love, but at the same time, share jokes and trade insults. She wants her love to be her best friend. Aera wants a love that's only described in books and shown in movies. Aera wants a love that's impossible to reach. A love that is unattainable.

Now twenty, Aera's stopping her search for love. Sure, the rumors and sneers said about Aera are disheartening, but Aera's slowly beginning to believe love isn't something you actively look for. Love is spontaneous and happens when you least expect it. Well, that's what Aera hopes. Another reason for Aera stopping her search for love; her mother.

"Aera, darling," her mom said one night as they sat outside in the warm Summer air, "it isn't a bad thing to search for love, but I fear you'll miss out on what's in front of you if you continue on this way."

Aera chuckled and nudged her mother's shoulder, "mom, you don't need to worry about me! I think I can see what's in front of me perfectly."

Her mother sighed exasperatedly. "Aera, that's not what I mean."

Aera sighed as well, finally understanding her mom, "yeah," Aera murmured, "I get what you mean."

Aera's mom wrapped her arm around Aera's shoulder and drew her in, kissing the girl's temple, "love happens when you least expect it, darling, don't give up on it just yet."

Aera wasn't planning on giving up on love, but Aera's thinking it's better to focus on her studies right now, instead of going on dates most nights.

There's another reason. A reason Aera never plans to voice out loud. She had a Summer fling. Aera feel so deeply in love, she was willing to do anything for the guy — and he took advantage of that. He used Aera's love for his own good, and now, Aera can't help but slowly begin to believe love isn't what the books and movies make it out to be.

But then, Aera remembers the weddings she went to. Then, she realizes, it takes a while to find the love you deserve. And, Aera's content to wait a while. She's content to have her love used against her if it means furthering her own look for love.

It's freshmen move-in day and the sun is shining. There's a light breeze, but it's not enough to cool Aera and, her best friend since their kindergarten days, Kang Yena down. Along with freshmen move-in day, there are booths set up in the middle of campus, out on the field of grass. Each booth houses a different club, or sports team; choir club, debate club, the lacrosse team, the cheerleading squad, the study club — Aera still isn't sure what the fuck that club is —, Acappella club, dance club, gaming club. There's probably more, but those are the only clubs Aera can see and remember as she lays beneath a tree, basking in the shade.

"I'm giving up on love," Aera announces to Yena, who glances up from filing her nails.

"You're kidding, right?" Yena was in disbelief and Aera didn't blame her. Love is all Aera's ever wanted in life before.

"I think I should focus on my studies this year, my marks last year weren't as good as I hoped —"

"You literally got A's in every single class," Yena exclaims, throwing her arms into the air, still in disbelief.

Aera huffs and pushes herself up into a sitting position, "shut up and listen, bitch."

Before Aera could continue, loud music blasts through the courtyard. Aera turns to head to find the soccer team running, a speaker and soccer balls in hand, creating a ruckus. Aera glares at them, not really liking their loudness. There's the downside to Aera's college — the fucking soccer team. Yena, on the other hand, grins at the soccer boys.

"Back to what I was saying," Aera draws Yena's attention, "I think I need to stop looking so hard for love, I'm looking in all the wrong places. So this year, I need to let it find me."

Yena smiles and squeezes Aera's shoulder, "as long as you're happy, Aera."

Aera looks over her shoulder to find the soccer team now spread out on the grass, kicking the ball around. They're certainly attractive, Aera will give them a brownie point for that. But their personalities don't appear to be attractive with Aera — but then again, she's basing their personalities off rumors and if there's one thing her parents taught her; it was to never judge someone based on rumors. Trust Aera when she's said multiple times that she's tried to never judge someone based on their looks or what others have said about them, but it's just so damn hard not to judge them.

Groaning, Aera pushes herself off the comfortable grass, "it's too hot outside, let's see if we can cool off inside."

Yena raises an eyebrow, "are you sure you're not just leaving because of the soccer team?"

Aera scowls and whacks Yena's shoulder, "hurry up, I'm literally sweating balls out here."

Yena spares one last glance at the soccer team before also standing up, linking her arm with Aera's, and walking away from the bustling courtyard. "Hmm," hums Yena, "do you think I should try out for the cheerleading team this year?" Aera snorts and shakes her head. Joining the cheerleading team is like joining the depths of hell. Aera's not trying to be stereotypical, but seriously, the cheerleading team is full of girls born in the depths of hell. They know everything about everyone. In regards to Aera, it's a love-hate relationship. Sometimes, the cheerleading team loves Aera, and other times, they despise her.

"Why would you, Yena?" Aera asks, ignoring the squabbling freshmen behind them.

Yena shrugs, inspecting her nails closely, "I wanna know how they collect their information. Are they like, spies from France? Or do they like, blackmail people? Or, is one of the cheerleaders secretly on the soccer team?"

Aera rolls her eyes, "you say some stupid shit, Yena."

"And you don't?" Retorts Yena, "because I can name —"

"Shut up," Aera cuts off her best friend, still trying her best to block out the squabbling freshmen behind them. God, do freshmen ever shut up? It's like they were only built to talk ears off. Aera likes to think she wasn't an annoying freshman. She was kind and diligent, she did her work, showed up for class, and participated. It was only her reputation that ruined Aera as a freshman.

"No!" One of the freshmen behind Aera exclaims, "you're going the wrong way, Riki!"

"Nuh-uh! I'm certain this is the way to our Carrington! It's like you can't even read a map, dumbass."

Aera pauses in her steps, causing Yena to stumble. "Aera what —"

Aera whirls around sharply and stares at the three freshmen with their heads bent around a map the tallest was holding. Of course, they weren't paying attention so all three of them stumble into Aera, exclaiming suddenly and jumping away in fright, their cheeks red and stuttering out apologies. Aera was thoroughly amused. "You mentioned Carrington," Aera speaks after waving off their apologies, "I can take you there."

One of the three freshmen smiles brightly. He had white hair, "oh! Thank you so much! We're forever in your debt — aren't we?" He nudges the tall boy next to him with pink hair. The tallest shrugs, "yeah, I guess."

The white-haired freshman frowns and snatches the map out of the hands of the tallest. "You've been holding the map upside down this entire fucking time, Riki." His words were like venom and Aera had to hold in her laugh. Yena, on the other hand, didn't hold in her laughter and spills over, making the three boys all straighten up and blush once more.

"You're so cute," Yena sighs.

Once more, the three freshmen are left flustered. The tallest, however, firmly denies that claim. "I am not cute."

Yena stares down the boy who immediately cowers, "yes you fucking are." Yena leaves no room for fighting. Aera rolls her eyes and steps forward, offering her hands out, "do you need help? You have an awful lot of bags there, didn't you ask for help? Where are your parents? Surely you knew freshmen moving in day wasn't gonna be a walk in the park."

The one freshmen who had yet to talk finally did. His brown hair bounced as he searches his pockets, "we did were supposed to have help, but they blew us off for something to do with freshmen initiation." His frown transforms into a smile when he finds his phone, "yep, they apologized and said they had more important things to do. What's more important than helping us out? Then again, the four of them have never really had their priorities straight." The other two freshmen — Riki and the white-haired boy — snort, nodding their heads in agreement.

Aera smiles, "men are trash. Let us help."

Aera and Yena help lift some of the weight off the three boys and soon, it became a group of five. Three freshmen and two sophomores. "I'm Aera, that's Yena," Aera introduces herself to the boys with a winning smile and a wink. Yena waves her hand sheepishly as she hoists the back on her back higher.

"I'm Riki," the tallest greets with a slight bow.

"I'm Kim Sunoo!" The boy with white hair greets, his smile brighter than the sun. Aera can't help but smile back at him. He was so cute.

"Yang Jungwon," the brown-haired boy says, revealing a smile with dimples. Once more, Aera can't help but smile back. They're all so cute.

"So, what brings you here?" Yena asks, making conversation.

"Our friends," Riki answers, "because apparently, we like to follow them around."

Sunoo snorts, "don't act like you weren't the one begging for us to apply as well. What happened to going back to Japan for college? Hmm?"

Riki falls silent and ignores Sunoo's jab. "You're from Japan?" Aera asks, intrigued, "I've been there a few times. Only to Tokyo. It was for a volleyball tournament."

Riki raises his head and smiles, "yeah, I'm from Japan. I came to America through this transfer program."

"I wish you had left when school ended," huffs Jungwon, "your fucking Bungeoppang pan is digging into my back."

Riki shrugs, "your fault for choosing that bag to carry."

Jungwon sticks his foot out and Riki stumbles forward, but luckily Sunoo caught him by the collar of his t-shirt. Sunoo was still smiling brightly and talking to Yena as he did that though, so Aera guesses Riki almost face-planting is an often occurrence in a day. Riki and Jungwon immediately begin bickering and Aera sighs. She regrets offering to help them out.

"What floor?" Aera asks when they arrive at Carrington. It was one of the many dorms that houses all the students at the college. Aera and Yena were in fact, in the same dormitory building. Jungwon pulls out a piece of paper and scans it while Riki digs through the bag on Jungwon's back. "Second!" Jungwon answers, smiling.

"Oh!" Squeals Yena, "that's the same floor as us!"

They all pile into an elevator, though there was little room with the amount of bags they brought with them. Riki had finally found was he was looking for; the Bungeoppang pan and a soccer ball. "Do you play soccer, Riki?" Aera asks.

Riki's smile brightens and he nods his head, "yeah! I'm going to try out for the soccer team."

"Good luck," Aera says with a gentle smile, knowing most freshmen don't make it into the starting line-up. They're usually just bench warmers for the entire soccer season.

"You're gonna need all the luck, Riki," Yena pipes up, "because most of the freshmen are just used as water-boys and shit for the entire season."

"I'm not going to any game then," huffs Sunoo, "I treasure my skincare routine over watching you sit on the bench for five hours."

"Soccer does not take five hours to play," snaps Riki, "I've told you this many times, Sunoo, do you even listen to me?"

Sunoo snorts, "why should I? All you talk about is soccer and Bungeoppang."

Riki pulls the finger and Sunoo rolls his eyes, pulling out his phone and admiring himself in the reflection. "Don't worry, Yena," Riki says with a confident grin, "I'll be playing this season. Just you wait."

Yena shrugs, not believing the younger boy, "alright, well, whenever you play let us know and we'll come to watch — right, Aera?"

With an airy smile, Aera nods her head, "we'll definitely come to watch to see our favorite freshman play soccer!"

Jungwon groans, "don't say that. His ego just grew exponentially bigger."

"You're just jealous," Riki scoffs and the elevator door dings open, Sunoo stumbling forward in a hurry to get out of the elevator. Aera watches Sunoo inhale deeply, finally feeling happy to not be stuck beside a tall Riki in a small elevator. As it turns out, the three freshmen live across from Aera and Yena. Aera's at a loss for words. She has no idea what to think. On one hand, she likes the three freshmen, but on the other hand, Aera doesn't know if she would want to live across the hall from them.

"If you need any help then I guess you can literally just yell," Yena giggles as she and Aera set the bags they were carrying into the empty dorm that would be occupied by the three freshmen. Sighing in relief, Aera massages her shoulder and turns in a circle, looking around the dorm. It shared plenty of similarities of her own dorm. "Who even needs this many bags?" Aera asks a question to fill up the silence.

"Kim fucking Sunoo," grunts Jungwon, kicking the bag closest to him.

"Can you blame me?" Exclaims Sunoo, "it takes ages to look this good!" He gestures to his face and Yena immediately coos over the younger boy.

"Good lucking fitting everything into the tiny closets and storage facilities in these dorms," Aera says with a teasing smile on her face. Riki and Jungwon snicker as Sunoo's face morphs into one resembling disappointment.