Date Published: July 21st, 2022
Word Count: 3697
A/N: There are tons of places in the show's timeline where a single decision could alter the entire rest of the story, and I want to explore some of them! This one takes place during The Sins of the Father, or the episode where Arthur speaks to his mother.

Rage flowed through Arthur's blood like rapids in a river. He was deaf to anyone speaking to him as he stalked toward the doorway to the throne room. He felt like he was on fire, burning from the inside out.

The doors swung open for him and then he saw him. The face of the man who had killed his mother. The face of the man who had murdered possibly thousands of innocent people because of his own actions. His father, Uther Pendragon, was a monster, and for the first time, Arthur could see him clearly.

The king looked up from the papers he and Leon were looking over. He sounded relieved and almost annoyed as he spoke. "Arthur, where have you been? I've had search parties out looking for you."

His jaw clenched and he narrowed his eyes. Everything felt different now. Before learning of his mother's death, he'd believed that his father loved and cared for him. Now, it felt like he cared only that Arthur was a Pendragon to keep his lineage alive. All the times Uther had warned him against danger, saying he was the heir to the throne, felt heavy in his stomach. Is that all he had ever cared about?

"Arthur?" the king said questioningly, frowning at him.

Taking a deep breath, Arthur willed his voice to remain steady. "I know... what you did to my mother."

The look that crossed his father's face was all the proof he needed that he knew exactly what he was talking about. He handed the paper he was holding to Leon, keeping his eyes on Arthur as he spoke. "Leave us. No one is to enter."

Silence hung in the air as the knight left. "What are you talking about?" he questioned as soon as the doors had closed.

"You were so desperate for an heir... You were prepared to use magic," Arthur stated. He spoke firmly, saying the words as fact. There was no room for argument in his voice. Uther wasn't deterred from it.

"Did Morgause tell you this?" he asked. He looked at him patronizingly, dismissively. The king's tone made the fire the prince was restraining flare up. Even with confronted with the truth, he was willing to lie. He would lie to anyone and everyone, even his son, who he was so desperate to have. "She's lying."

Arthur seethed, continuing as though he hadn't heard him. "My mother is dead because of your selfishness and arrogance," he said, struggling to keep his head level. "Her blood is on your hands."

"No, that's not true but Morgause would have you believe that."

He pressed on. "This is what fuels your hatred for those who practice magic. Rather than blame yourself for what you did, you blame them."

"You would believe a sorcerer's lies over the word of your own father? I can only think that Morgause has enchanted you," Uther replied.

There was that passive, dismissive tone again. Arthur could feel his grip on his rage slipping with every word that left his father's mouth. He thought about Morgause, how she had behaved with as much honor as he had. She had allowed him to speak to his mother, something he had believed he would never get the opportunity to do. Morgause could've enchanted him at anytime; aside from the boiling anger in his blood, his thoughts were clear and his own. "You hunted her kind like animals!" he yelled. "How many hundreds have you condemned to death to ease your guilt?!"

"Those who practice magic will stop at nothing to destroy us! I have only done what is necessary to protect this kingdom!" the king snapped. His anger was starting to show through his façade.

"You speak of honor and nobility!" he replied, moving his arm to gesture to the hall around them. The man in front of him was anything but honorable or noble. He yelled his next words with more conviction. "You're nothing but a hypocrite and a LIAR!"

Uther's expression shifted to one of fury. "I am your king, and your father. You will show me some respect!"

All of Arthur's remaining control disappeared as he locked eyes with the other man. This man was no king of his anymore. This man was not his father anymore. He was evil, another monster for the prince to slay to protect his people.

He didn't break eye contact as he unbuckled his left gauntlet. With no hesitation, he threw it to the ground before Uther. He looked at him in disbelief. "Have you lost your mind?"

"Pick it up," Arthur said simply.

The king's disbelief started to fade into caution. "Arthur, I implore you, think about what you're doing."

"Pick... it up," he growled.

Uther shook his head. "I will not fight you."

The prince drew his sword. Did he think he wasn't serious about this? Did he think he could just pretend everything was okay and he'd calm down? He stalked toward him step by step. "If you choose not to defend yourself," he muttered. He stood directly in front of him "I will strike you down where you stand."

"You are my son. You will not strike an unarmed man," the king replied knowingly.

Arthur could feel himself shaking with rage. "I no longer think of myself as your son."

Uther tilted his head back and looked at him with that unimpressed expression he'd grown up with. It said that he was confident in knowing what was going to happen. It said that he wasn't taking him seriously. He shrugged just the tiniest bit. "Then strike me down."

For a brief moment, Arthur didn't know what he was about to do. His mind was racing and his heart was pounding. Everything seemed to slow down as he stared at the king. Part of him still saw his father, the strong and respected King of Camelot, who he was desperate to prove himself to. His resolve broke for a moment, but he was reminded of his mother's face. She hadn't even been upset she'd died because it meant Arthur got to live. His eyes felt hot. The fire in his chest reignited and he swung his sword.

The sound of metal hitting metal echoed through the hall. Uther had blocked his blow. He looked disbelieving as he stepped away from him. "I don't want to fight you."

Arthur ignored him, spinning his sword into fighting stance. He stepped forward in pursuit and swung again. It turned into a series of blows between the blades. The prince pushed Uther back with the force of his swings. He vaguely heard him demand, "Arthur, stop this!"

Orders from him meant nothing to him anymore. He reengaged him, exchanging a series of blows before the man he once considered his father made a decisive swing directly for his head. Arthur spun away, unfazed and unsurprised. It would've killed him if that had hit him. Uther had enough humanity to at least look ashamed for a moment before they began circling each other.

The air was crackling with tension as the prince lunged forward again. Uther was no longer trying to avoid the fight. He met Arthur's aggression with his own. It was no longer a question whether it was life or death. The king was willing to kill him.

His fighting was skilled, but Arthur was faster, stronger, younger, and had the fury of a child who had lost its mother. His blows landed harder and harder, making Uther stagger back. He was forced to block until the prince finally disarmed him and slammed onto the throne, his sword pressed against his chest.

The door behind them burst open. "Arthur! Don't!" he heard Merlin yell. "I know you don't want to do this!"

"My mother is dead because of him!" he snarled, pressing the blade in a little to prove his point.

"Killing your father won't bring her back! You've lost one parent. Do you really want to lose another?" Merlin reasoned. His voice was a cool rush over him.

His father spoke beneath him. "Listen to him, Arthur."

Uther's voice was like acid, eating away at him with his lies.

"Arthur, please," Merlin said, voice soft. "Put the sword down."

He glanced toward his servant. His mind flashed back to their conversation. Merlin had listened to him and trusted him in return. He believed that Merlin cared, but he also thought of his mother. "You heard what my mother said! After everything he has done, do you believe he deserves to live?! He executes those who use magic, and yet he has used it himself!"

He turned his gaze back to Uther with renewed hatred. "You have caused so much suffering and pain! I will put an end to that!"

Footsteps approached him. "Arthur, I am begging you not to do this," Merlin said, voice thick. He walked up behind the throne, still several paces away to appease him. "You won't be able to live with yourself if you kill him."

"Yet he can live with killing thousands of magic users in cold blood," he muttered, eyes fixed on the king's face.

"If you kill him, you become him," his servant said firmly. His breath hitched and looked up to meet Merlin's eyes. They looked shiny, like he was on the verge of tears. His heart clenched; even when it wasn't his pain, Merlin would grieve. He was just that kind-hearted. "Uther seeks revenge on magic, because he blames it for your mother's death. Right now, you are about to take revenge on him for causing her death. This is cold blooded revenge. I know that's not what you truly want. You are not your father, Arthur."

The prince's lips trembled as he dropped his head a little. He looked back down at the excuse of a man that his father. His eyes started watering as he shook his head. "You don't understand what he has done because of he couldn't take responsibility for his own actions."

"Oh, I understand, Arthur. I understand so much more than you know," Merlin managed, shaking his head. He voice sounded broken and tired. Arthur looked up at him again, hands shaking slightly. "Killing him is not the answer. You can put an end to the pain and suffering he's caused without shedding more blood."

Arthur felt his grip on the king's shirt loosening as he listened to his manservant. "Isn't that what you've always done? You spare your enemies whenever you're able. You save as many lives as you can," he continued, taking a couple steps forward. "Do you want your first act as king to be patricide and regicide? That is not you, Arthur."

"But my mother-"

"-Wouldn't want you kill him," Merlin interrupted. "I heard what she said too. Her last words to you were 'Do not let this knowledge change you'. She is so proud of the man you've become, I could hear it in her voice."

Arthur squeezed his eyes closed, his head hanging limply as he tried to breathe. The tears he was holding back were escaping and flowing down his cheeks. He felt like he was drowning and didn't know which way was up. His gasped for air as he fought back sobs.

A hand suddenly landed where his was on his sword. The prince looked up to see Merlin looking just as distraught, but wearing a wobbly smile. He met his eyes and squeezed his hand gently. "Put the sword down."

Arthur let his hand be guided down to drop the sword on the table. His entire body was trembling. Merlin's eyes drifted to Uther and back to his, nodding the tiniest bit. It was a silent show of loyalty and support. He took a shuddering breath and managed to look back at the man on the throne.

Despite the tears rolling down his face, he set his jaw and raised his voice. "Sir Leon."

"Sire?" the knight replied, stunned by all that he had witnessed.

"Please escort the king to the dungeons," he ordered, his voice unshaken and firm.

Uther's eyes widened as he let go of him. As Leon and another knight moved forward to take the king, he struggled and rambled desperately. "Arthur, you can't do this! I am the King of Camelot!" he shouted. "You are my son and you will obey me!"

Arthur looked up at where the knights were holding him at the doorway. "I am the son of Ygraine Pendragon, and you have committed treason against Camelot. As Crown Prince, I am removing you from the throne."

Uther's yelling could be heard even as the heavy doors closed. It was over for now.

It was only Merlin and Arthur in the room now. The air was heavy and quiet. Merlin watched and waited for Arthur to speak, but he said nothing. They stood in silence for a few moments before it was broken as the prince let out a distressed wail and sank to the floor. His entire body was racked with sobs. Within seconds, arms were around him, safe and warm. Arthur held onto his manservant like his life was on the line. He couldn't stop crying. Merlin gripped him back just as tightly, rubbing the back of his head with one of his hands.

Arthur wasn't sure how long it took for his breathing to level back out. The weight of everything was crushing him. He let out a shaky exhale, relaxing in Merlin's arms. His thoughts wandered. He couldn't push what happened from his mind. For the first time, Arthur thanked the Triple Goddess that Merlin was there.

His bumbling manservant was possibly the most important person in his life. He was always there when he needed, even if he didn't deserve it. He was kind, funny, and cocky enough to talk back to him.

Without Merlin, he would've done it. He would've murdered his father in cold blood, in the name of his mother who wanted him to remain honorable and kind. He thought about all that his manservant had said. He was thankful that he'd truly listened during their journey to Morgause. He had known just what to say.

Arthur paused for a moment. He thought about all that Merlin had said. All of what he said made perfect sense except for one thing. He said he understood the pain and suffering Uther had caused more than he could know.

His mind fluttered back to Ealdor when his childhood friend died. The young man had said he'd summoned the magic that saved them on his deathbed. Arthur remembered the grief stricken look on Merlin's face that looked like it held more weight than he knew. Was there something more to that than what he had known at the time?

His memory didn't stop there. It showed him the time that Merlin had discovered the enchanted shield Valiant used and how the snakes had suddenly come to life in front of everyone during their fight. It showed him the afanc. It had been a creature of magic but he'd somehow managed to slay it. He remembered the griffin, who had been invulnerable to their blades, but was mysteriously struck down by Lancelot. He remembered waking up after supposedly trying to elope with Sophia, and how Merlin had supposedly knocked him out. Arthur was pretty sure that his manservant could not knock him out with a physical strike if he tried. He remembered Merlin crying over the form of the dead unicorn and how he'd somehow seen Anhora when no one else could.

The more Arthur thought about it, the more he realized how many times Merlin had knowledge of something magical going on before it made itself known. He'd known Cedric had been possessed. He'd known Lady Catrina had been a troll. Every time something was wrong, he'd tried to warn him. There were so many times where Arthur should've died but miraculously survived.

His mind drifted horrifically back to when the Witchfinder had been in Camelot, how he'd singled out Merlin immediately. His manservant had even confessed to being a sorcerer in an attempt to save Gwen, but no one had believed him.

Arthur couldn't be more thankful that somehow the idiot hugging him managed to fool everyone. This clotpole had risked his life all this time for him, not just in the line of duty but from the shadows too. He hadn't a clue how much he had done for him. As he took a deep breath, he spoke softly. "You have magic, don't you?"

Merlin stiffened in his arms. The prince pulled away from the hug to look him in the eye. The young man in front of him suddenly looked wary and shocked, like he was ready to run at the drop of a hat. Arthur put his hands on his shoulders and gently repeated the question. "Do you have magic, Merlin?"

"I- I was..." he stammered. His eyes were watery again as he shook under the prince's grasp. "Yes... I-I wanted to tell you, but- it was never- I was trying to find the right time, and I didn't want to make you pick between me or your father- I swear I only use it to protect you and Camelot. I would never-"

Arthur moved his hands from his shoulders to the sides of his face, silencing him instantly. He gave him an affectionate smile. Merlin looked confused and nervous. "You're not... You're not angry? Like you're not going to execute me?"

The prince let out a breathless laugh. He shook his head in disbelief at how thick Merlin could be. He leaned in to close the distance between them, watching his expression closely for a signal to stop. His manservant's face was steadily growing red as he got closer but he didn't move away. Arthur closed his eyes and pressed a soft kiss against his lips.

It was gentle and brief, just a simple touch of lips. Arthur pulled back to look at Merlin's completely star-struck face. "Does that answer your question?"

"Uh- I'm- Am I dead? Did I die at some point and I'm imagining all this?" he rambled looking all around at the room and the prince. His eyes were wide and his cheeks were as red as tomatoes. He blinked rapidly and shook his head to regain focus. "Cause- I- what just happened?"

Arthur inhaled and looked around. "Well, I was born of magic, my father used it to create me at the cost of my mother's life. He's been massacring innocent magic users for over a decade. I have disowned him as my father and I almost killed him," he reminded him. "You convinced me not to and now he's in the dungeons. I am in emotional distress, hence why are on the floor and both have dried tear stains on our faces, and I figured out that you have magic, so it's been a pretty productive day for Camelot."

Saying it out loud in such a detached manner made him feel better, so he looked at Merlin with a somewhat playful smile on his lips. His manservant stared at him before they both burst out laughing. They were both exhausted and slightly delirious at that point, but Arthur didn't care. Merlin was smiling and honestly that's all he cared about at that moment.

"How did you figure out I have magic just now? Had you suspected me or something?" Merlin asked curiously. "Did you already know?"

His shook his head. "Everything you said to me earlier made sense, but you said you understood the pain Uther caused, more than I knew, implying that it was something personal," he explained. "Obviously it had to be related to sorcery, so I was just thinking while we were sitting there."

"That's dangerous for you, you could have made your brain explode," Merlin cut in.

Arthur gave him a gentle shove with his shoulder, making him laugh. He smiled and continued. "At first I thought you were talking about Will, but even back then, there was something more about his death that troubled you. I had no idea what it was, but I started remembering all the times magical threats seemed to solve themselves, all the times I should've died but didn't, and the times someone accused you of sorcery, and in one instance, you confessed to it."

"I always thought someone was looking out for me, keeping me from harm," he said, meeting Merlin's eyes. He didn't have to stop himself from staring at them now, so he did as he spoke. "I guess I should've guessed it was you."

Merlin smiled bashfully and looked down at his hands. Arthur watched him for a moment. "Do you remember anything from when you were poisoned?" he asked suddenly. His manservant looked up in confusion and nodded. The prince grinned and looked up in disbelief. "Of course you'd manage to save my life whilst you were on your deathbed."

"I- Oh, you mean, the light thing?" Merlin asked. Arthur nodded and the warlock flushed deep red. "Apparently I just- Gaius told me that I just did it in my sleep. I didn't know it was happening. I almost revealed my magic to Gwen by mistake cause I was mumbling spells to help you."

"You are ridiculous and I forbid you from getting yourself killed while trying to protect me," the prince commanded, wrapping his arms around Merlin's shoulders and tugging him backwards.

He yelped as he hit his chest, looking up at Arthur's smug expression. He pouted indignantly. "Says the man who went on a suicide mission to save a servant he'd just met," he countered.

"Hey! You started it!" Arthur argued, poking his ribs. "You had to go and drink poison for me, what was I supposed to do? Let you die? I don't think so! You should be careful about that self-sacrificing act or someone's going to fall in love with you."

Merlin couldn't help but giggle at the touch. "It looks to me like someone already did."

Arthur grinned widely. "What ever gave you that idea, Merlin?"