The Bad Santa 

'Twas the night before Christmas

And all through the place

Crept the guy in the red suit

With a mask on his face

The children were nestled

All snug and asleep

And from mom and dad's bedroom

There was nary a peep

When down in the living room

There arose such a fuss

The guy in the red suit tripped

And let out a loud cuss

Dad lept from his bed

Down the stairs made a dash

Saw the guy in the red suit

Run out with his stash

The moon on the crest

Of the new fallen snow

Highlighted the footprints

So dad knew where to go

Then in a twinkling

He heard from the shed

More cussing from

The bad guy in red

'C'mon you sucker!'

The snowmobile wouldn't start

Dad stood in the doorway

The Christmas thief couldn't depart

He retrieved all the gifts then

Laying a finger aside his nose

Called the police for the

Guy in red clothes

Dad dashed away home

Gifts under the tree real quick

While the guy in the red suit

Was off to the nick

He climbed back into bed

And shut out the light

Whispering, Merry Christmas to all

And to all a good night