I took a deep breath. Did I really want to do this? I hadn't been home in so long. Ever since I'd moved out, I'd only spoken to my mother. I wasn't sure I wanted to face my father. I knocked on the door. My mom opened it.

"Kristene! You came!"

I smiled,"How could I stay away? I haven't seen everyone in YEARS. And the whole family is here."

"Are you still mad at your father?"

"A bit. But, I'm willing to set that aside for this visit."

"Oh good! Well, don't stand out there! It's freezing!"

I walked inside. The fire and Christmas tree made me feel more welcome than the cold winter outside. I took off my earmuffs and gloves. Then, I pulled off my boots and coat. The scarf came off last. Just then, my little niece, Dinah, came running in. Dinah is my younger brother Joseph's daughter. And only child. She hugged me around my legs. I picked her up.

"Hey big girl," I said.

She grinned,"I'm 6¹/² now Aunt Krissy. I'm so glad you came. I missed you so much. How long has it been?"

"Well, let's see. I left when you were 3, soooo, it's been 3¹/² years."

She hugged me around the neck again,"It HAS been a long time."

Just then, Jackson and Michael ran in. My older sister Rachel's twins.

"Aunt Kristene!" they exclaimed in unison.

I put Dinah down and crouched so I could hug them both. Then, in came Judah. He's my older brother, and the oldest of all of us. He doesn't have any kids. But he gave me the best bear-hug I've had in a long time. Then, in came Jami, his wife. She and I hugged as well.

Judah said,"I'm so glad you could come."

I smiled,"I wouldn't miss this for the world. Everyone's coming, right? Both mom and dad's sides of the family?"

"Yup. They're all upstairs. This is family reunion Christmas."

I giggled, then my dad walked in, wearing his coat and boots. We looked at each other for a moment, then hugged.

"I'm so glad you could come, Kristene."

"So am I dad."

He smiled,"I'm going to get your bags out of your car. All the girls are sleeping in you and your sister's rooms. You get yours and she gets hers. And same for the guys. They're staying in your brothers' rooms."

"That's cool. And thanks for getting my bags, dad."

"No problem. You need to rest after your trip," and he went outside.

Then Rachel came in and hugged me.

"Krissy! You made it."

She's the only one who is allowed to call me that. But then Dinah started saying it and she won't stop.

"Yeah, I did."

"Well, if you come into the kitchen there eggnog, hot cocoa, coffee, or mom's peppermint tea."

"Oooooo, mom's peppermint tea!"

We both practically ran into the kitchen. We got our tea and went into the living room. There, all the kids were playing charades. Dinah, Jackson, and Michael were there but so we're my teenage cousins. Tessa, Rikki and his twin sister Nikki, Taléa, Risha, Derek, Vance, Bonnie, Damian, Cadence, and Brant were all there. This was going to be the best Christmas ever. I could already tell. Rachel and I guessed along with the others. But that's it. We didn't act anything out. Then, there was a knock at the door. Mom answered it. All of us got quiet.

We heard her say,"Yes she's here. What, were we saying her name too loudly? Oh, you saw her car. Okay, I'll get her." She came into the living room.

She said,"Kristene, there's someone here for you. Put on your coat and boots and meet him in the backyard."

"Alright." I put on my coat and boots and went into the backyard. I was shocked at what I saw. Standing there was my old boyfriend, Benjamin. I ran into his arms.

He held me close and said,"I've been waiting for you to come back."

"But I thought you wanted us to go out separate ways."

"I did, at first. But then, when you left, I got so lonely. I've been waiting for 3 years to see you again!"

"Actually, it's been 3¹/² years. Dinah has confirmed it."

Benjamin smiled. And then we hugged again. I invited him inside and he joined the party. With his eggnog, of course. We watched the kids (and teenagers) play charades. Then, we got dragged in. Rachel and I had to be people, and ended up acting like the Hanes sisters from White Christmas. Then, Benjamin and I had to act out a thing. We did what was easiest. Mistletoe. We kissed. All of them got it. But after that, we were done playing. Soon, we all gathered in the living room. We started sharing Christmas stories. Whether they were traditional stories everyone has heard, our own experiences, or something we want to see as our special Christmas. I was last.

My mom said,"What are you going to tell us Kristene?" I thought a moment.

"Well, this is my perfect Christmas. It used to be the presents and food. Now, it's more like this." I cleared my throat. "I see my perfect Christmas in a cozy house. I'm sitting by the fireplace with my husband and three children." I took Benjamin's arm. "I have an older boy, a younger girl, and then a baby girl in my arms. There's a big, beautiful Christmas tree with presents underneath it. The boy opens his first present, a train. Then his second one, a big box of chocolate. Then the girl opens a present. It's also a big box of chocolate. She opens a second one. It's a toy kitten. Then, she pulls a blanket from under the tree, and gives it to her baby sister. The boy gives the baby a little bracelet. Then they give their father a present. He opens it. It's a new a pair of good shoes, and a tie. They hand me my present, it's a sewing kit and some fabric. I give them each their presents from me. The girl had a nice new dress, and the boy has a new baseball and bat. Their father gives them their presents from him. The girl gets some jewelry to go with her dress, and the boy gets a baseball uniform. I give the baby a dress. One that I made. But it's from me AND the father because he picked out the fabric. Then, like tomorrow, the whole family is together for more presents and a nice dinner together. I know it sounds like a long version about food and presents. But it's about the family. That's all I want this Christmas," I looked at my dad. "I want my family back."

He smiled. But then his eyes drifted to my arms, which were around Benjamin's arm, which led him to look at Benjamin. He stopped smiling, and looked a bit less happy. Then, all the kids and teenagers were sent upstairs to get ready for bed. Benjamin went home. Rachel and I helped the little girls get ready and Judah and Joseph helped the younger boys get ready. The little girls slept with me, and the teenage girls slept with Rachel. The same for the guys. The younger boys slept with Joseph, and the teenage boys slept with Judah. But the teens and kids all went to bed first. All of us grown-ups stayed downstairs. We talked and then watched White Christmas together.

Near the middle of the movie I went into the kitchen to get more peppermint tea. Dad followed me. I got my tea and turned to go back in the living room, but my dad stopped me.

He said,"You're still mad at me, aren't you?"

I sighed,"Yes I'm still mad. But I promised mom I'd set it aside for this visit."

"But why did I make you mad. One day we were a big happy family, and the next, you were angry. You left and we haven't seen you in 3 years!"

"You should know. But, do you really want to hear it?"

"Yes."

"It was the day Benjamin came over for our 2 year anniversary, of dating. He'd been over before, and I knew you didn't particularly care for him, but I was just glad you accepted my judgement. Except, you didn't. That night at dinner, you blew up. You said he was a no-good negro boy who just wanted someone to mess around with. You said you grew up with people like him, and his kind hadn't changed. You said that if he wanted to be with me, we'd have to kill ourselves and be together in the afterlife! Then, you started cussing at him like nobody's business! He went outside and I followed. He said he was going to leave early. He said that we should go our separate ways if you couldn't except him. Now, we're back together. You'd better not ruin it this time."

I went back in the living room, putting on a happy face. Dad came back in a few minutes later. We watched the end of the movie, and then I went up to bed. I dreamt about Benjamin, and all the good times we'd had together. I woke up to little Dinah shaking my shoulder.

***

The picture is of Katharine Hepburn (Kristene in this story). She was in several motion picturers and was a very famous actress. She has been in movies with other famous actors such as John Wayne and Cary Grant. (Another two of my favourite old-time actors.)