Understanding
A/N Bad language - get out kids
"I don't - I just don't understand you..."
Don't understand you.
Those damn words again and again. It kept running through Hiccup's mind like a siren, wailing like a tomcat and boring into his brain like a red hot iron.
"Merida -" he stumbled weakly, "You, you have to, you have to listen -"
"What is there left to understand?" Merida howled with her head in her hands, tearing her curls apart. She collapsed into a sobbing mess on the floor while he stood looking down at her, breaking apart from the inside.
"I was drunk," he whispered. "I was drunk and stupid and I wasn't myself and I'd had a bad day and we'd fought and she was there and - okay! We had sex! What does it matter now?"
"It matters because you don't seem to care about it!"
Merida was a wreck now. Her eyes were bloodshot and streaming like a river - the red contrasting violently with the electricity that were her irises. Seeing her like this was just about the end for Hiccup's emotional tether. He broke - tearing and clawing at his face like some kind of animal.
"Merida .." he mumbled, the words dropping to the floor and sinking as they made their voyage through the minimal space between them. "Merida - I care - I care so much because I don't want to see you like this. I can't see you like this."
"You did it anyway," she sniffed, wiping her nose with her sleeve stubbornly, not meeting his gaze. "If you hadn't done it, it'd all be fine. If you hadn't gone to the pub, or met that, that girl, or slept with her -"
"Merida - fucking hell!"
Hiccup swearing was a rarity in itself, so he chose those specific words carefully. The very fact that he was swearing made Merida realise how serious he was and her head snapped up to look at him, his hair hanging in drapes across his eyes.
"I -" Hiccup stuttered; her eyes were wide, questioning and slightly concerned. He realised this was the moment when he'd have to speak - she'd never listen to him otherwise. "I, I love you."
Merida's breath hitched and stopped.
"No," she mumbled, "no you don't..."
He dropped to his knees so he was at her level and took her hands in his.
"Yes, oh Gods yes; I do, Merida, I do love you, I love you so much it's driving me insane to see you pushing you away because I know that you're my happiness that I have to rely on entirely. I love you, so much, Merida Dunbroch, and nothing will change that. Ever. All I ask for is your forgiveness; I know that's going to be pretty fucking hard considering I've been such an arse but I'm going to have to ask because I couldn't live with myself if you left."
She didn't reply for a moment. When she looked back into his eyes she didn't want to admit it but she knew that he was telling the truth and she felt exactly the same way. She gripped onto his hands, squeezing them tight. His eyes darted to meet hers and he swallowed apprehensively.
"I -" Merida whispered, hating herself but knowing that she was speaking the truth. "I love you too."
Hiccup stopped, breathed once, twice, his chest rising and falling between great canyons spreading miles, then his face broke into the happiest smile Merida had ever seen. He let go of her hands, using them instead to clasp onto her - taking her into his arms and holding her as tightly as he dared, as though she might fly away, vanish, disappear.
"Oh Gods," he whispered, "If I could turn back time and - and reverse everything, everything -"
"Don't talk about it," Merida replied, her words muffled by his shirt.
"Honestly, if I could -"
"Shut up!"
"Merida -"
She silenced him with a kiss planted on his lips, forcefully and determinately, like the first time she'd kissed him he remembered with a tiny smile. Her hand was on the back of his neck, as though stubborn to keep him there and his were fastened to her back. As they broke away, Merida muttered under her breath.
"I'm still pissed off with you."
"I'm not surprised," Hiccup replied with the tiniest of chuckles. "I would be."
"I haven't forgiven you yet," Merida muttered irritably, though she still gripped him tight.
"I know," he whispered. "And I'll wait for that."
"Stop with all this romantic crap, it's getting on my nerves."
"Romantic crap got you to listen to me," Hiccup smirked at her, holding her at an arm's distance. Merida pouted.
"Doesn't mean it's not crap."
"I'll give you that," he laughed and traced her jawline with his thumb, which he knew always drove her crazy. She leant into his touch for a second before coming to her senses and snapping her eyes open.
"You son of a bitch," she whispered, earning a small laugh.
"I thought you liked my mother," Hiccup smiled.
"Unfortunately not as much as you." She gave him a wicked grin and grabbed his collar. That's how they came to be making out on the living room carpet and decided to get into the bedroom before things got too heated.
Seems that it was possible to get the infamous red head to listen, and, more importantly, to understand.
Bạn đang đọc truyện trên: AzTruyen.Top