|Chapter Five : Her Pain|

Ruhana and Manvi share a moment after which Manvi keeps her head on her mother's shoulder. Ruhana sings her favorite lullaby and Manvi falls asleep.

Mrinal enters the room to take a look at Ruhana and Manvi. The little girl is asleep. Mrinal looks at her daughter and asks her to come out.

"Kya hua, Ma?" Ruhana asks.

"Beta mujhe tujhse baat karni hai." Mrinal says.

"Ma! Kal subah karte hai na. Aaj Mannu ke sath ghum ke main bhi thak gayi." Ruhana says.

"Jaanti hoon, par kal ye ladki ek pal ki fursat nahi degi. Abhi baat karte hai." Mrinal says, looking at her grand-daughter.

Ruhana looks at her mother. She sighs, she knows what her mom wants to talk about. But she has made up her mind against her mom's wish.

"Tum kya baat karna chahti ho, main ache se jaanti hoon, maa. Par main faisla kar chuki hoon. Tum bhi maan jao na. Main jaisi hoon khush hoon. ” Ruhana says.

“Apne baare mein na sahi, Manvi ke baare mein toh soch beta! Usey maa ki hi nahi pita ki bhi zarurat hai!! Usne kya galti ki hai isme? ” Mrinal sighs.

Mrinal wants Ruhana to remarry, while the latter doesn't want to remarry. Ruhana sighs and glances at her daughter. She's sleeping peacefully. Ruhana holds her mom’s hand and move into the hall.

“Maine bahut soch samajh ke faisla kiya hai Maa. Main dobara shaadi nahi karungi. Phir se dhokha khane ki himmat nahi hain mujh mein . Aur Manvi! Usey main sambhal sakti hoon. Maa hoon uski. Bura nahi chahungi uska. Usko har wo cheez dungi jo wo deserve karti hai. “ She looks at her mom in her eyes.

“Tu kyun nahi samajh rahi Ruhana, main tere bhale ki hi baat kar rahi hoon. Tere saamne teri puri zindagi hai beta!"Mrinal says, pushing Ruhana to move on.

“Wahi toh main keh rahi hoon Maa. Meri bachchi ka kya kasoor hai. Aur jise tum itna aasaan samajh rahi ho, wo utna aasaan nahi hai. Kya jise tum mere liye dhundhogi wo mujhe apnayega? Kya wo meri beti ko apni beti maanega? Kya wo manvi ko apna naam dega.?? Bolo Maa!!” she looks at her mother who turns silent by now.

Ruhana holds her by the shoulders. She understands her concern. But her concern is even bigger. Will someone accept her as she is? Will someone accept her after knowing that she is a divorcee and she has a daughter? Will she be able to love the person as she used to love her husband? Will the other person accept Manvi as his daughter? If he does, what is the guarantee that he’d do it for his whole life? If they have another child, will he love her daughter the same? These are the questions that Ruhana fights through every day. Will it be really easy to move on?

"Kya tumhe aisa lagta hai ki koi aisa hai jo mujhe apnayega? Aur agar koi aisa hai bhi, toh kya wo Manvi ko bhi waise hi pyar karega jaise main karti hun? Aur kal ko agar usne hamare aur meri bachi mein farak kiya toh! Nahi Ma! Ye main bardasht nahi kar sakti. Main kaafi hoon, Mannu ke liye. Aur please ab is baare mein mujhe koi baat nahi karni. " Ruhana declares and walks into her room.

Her mother sighw and thinks to herself.

“4 saal se zyada ho gaye us haadse ko aur yeh maanne ko taiyar nahi hai, kaise samjhaun isey!!” Thinking so, she moves into her room.

*****

Next Morning

Ruhana is getting ready for her office and little Manvi is sitting on the bed and  playing with her doll. Meanwhile, Ruhana’s mother calls her.

“Ruhana , jaldi aa ja nashta taiyar hai.” her mother calls her.

Manvi  repeats her mother's name and smiles. Ruhana hears her and tickles her girl at which Manvi snuggles close to her mom. Ruhana lifts Manvi in her arms and moves out of the room. She descended Manvi on the floor and the girl runs to her naani. Mrinal makes her sit on the chair and gives her breakfast and a glass of milkshake. Manvi chuckles to see the milkshake. Ruhana looks at her mother.

“Maa, main nikal rahi hoon. Tum khayal rakhna aur koi kaam ho toh call kar dena.” She says and turns to her daughter.

“Aur Mannu naani ko pareshan nahi karna.” Ruhana says while Manvi nods her head affirmatively and kisses her mother on her cheeks. Ruhana smiles and leaves for the office.

*****

The day passes in a blur and it is evening time. Manvi is playing in the living room when the doorbell rings . She chuckles with happiness assuming it to be her motherm

“Mumma aa gayi!!” she looks at Mrinal who smiles at the little girl.

Mrinal smiles at her and opens the door. Ruhana enters inside with a small gift wrap in her hand. Manvi chuckles to see the shimmering thing in her mum’s hand. She rushes to Ruhana and snatches the packet from her hand.

"Gift!!! Yay!" she chuckles and tears open the gift.

The gift wrap unwraps  to be a small furry teddy bear. Manvi chuckles and Ruhana looks at her.

"Bas gift leliya! Mumma ko hug bhi nahi kiya! Koi nahi pyar karta mujhse!" Ruhana mocks sadness at Manvi.

Manvi glances at her keenly and then jumps upon her mom to hug her.

"Mannu aapse bahut pyar karti hai. Lekin Mannu ko Teddy bhi chahiye." she says innocently and it makes her mom laugh.

Letting Manvi play with the new toy, Ruhana moves to freshen up while Mrinal prepares tea for her daughter and herself.After a while they sit having tea.

Ruhana tells her mom about her day and Manvi sits in her lap playing with her new toy. Her mother glances at her.

“Ruhana, aaj Supriya
ka phone aaya tha.” Mrinal says.

Ruhana glances at her mom and sighs.

“Not again Ma! Main jo kehna chahti thi, kal raat keh chuki hoon. Kyun us baat ko aage badha rahi ho tum! Main tumhari yeh baat nahi maanungi, Maa. Ek baar maan kar pachta rahi hoon..ab nahi!!! Mujhe mere haal pe chhod do Maa. ” Ruhana says, sighing deeply.

Mrinal continues to speak but Ruhana shushes her.

”Maa please! Is baar tum meri maan lo!  Abhi taiyar ho jao. Hum garden ja rahe hai.” Ruhana says.

Manvi chuckles as she hears her mom and she jumps at her place.

"Chalo garden!!" Manvi says.

Ruhana laughs and makes her daughter change her dress. As they begin to leave, Ruhana looks at her mother but she denies to go. Ruhana sighs deeply.

“Sorry Maa, ab main tumhari yeh baat nahi maan sakti. Ab aur kuch sehne ki shakti nahi bachi mujhmein. Us Vikrant ne mujhe kahin ka nahi choda. I am sorry maa… I really am. “  she thinks to herself.

Manvi calls her again and Ruhana leaves with her.

*****

Later that night, Ruhana is setting the bed and Manvi is silently playing with her new gift. She looks at Ruhana, who's silent. Usually, Ruhana keeps talking to her, but today she is not. Manvi is a sharp child and she knows her mom is sad. As Ruhana sits on the bed, Manvi moves to her with her toy in hand.

“Mumma” she calls her and climbs on her lap.

Ruhana smiles at her and the girl makes some faces to make her smile. Ruhana embraces Manvi in her arms.

Fresh tears roll down her eyes. After so much  pain and disrespect, Manvi is her reason to smile and live and she is happy with her daughter in her small world. Yet again, her world is disturbed. Reason being her mother’s constant pressure to remarry, which she didn’t want. Her trail of thoughts is broken with Manvi's voice and Ruhana is astonished at the girls' words.

To Be Continued.

What did Manvi say?

Stay tuned.

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