It was a few days later when Y/n was getting ready to go out with Claire did Bill mention the whole "physical touch" subject once again.

They had been in their room, pulling random articles of clothing out of their closet as they tried to figure out what to wear. They had a ton of clothes to choose from, thankful for the amount of clothes that they did own- and yet they felt like they didn't own anything at all. They owned plenty, they really did, but looking in their closet they were beginning to question if any of their clothing would be approved by Claire. They wanted to make him happy, and didn't want to embarrass him while they were together in public. Claire was very strict about keeping up his reputation and in the past he had ditched them just because he didn't want to be seen with them due to what they were wearing. They weren't mad. They should've cared about their appearance more. It was their fault.

You live and you learn, as the saying goes.

Now they were learning to pay more attention to what they picked out to wear while hanging out with Claire.

As they were deciding between two outfits that made it to the final round of their decision making, a stern knock could be heard from the other side of their bedroom door.

"...Candle? You got a sec?"

Bill. Who else did they know who nicknamed them based off of an inanimate object? Placing the two outfits down on the edge of their bed, they headed over towards the door and opened it to greet the dream demon.

"Hey, Cipher. You need something?"

"Uh-... yeah. Only if you're not busy, though. ...Are you busy?" Bill shifted awkwardly as he stood there, looking at Y/n with an expression they couldn't quite make out.

He seemed off, which concerned them a bit.

They glanced back over their shoulder, looking back at the clothes they left on the bed for a quick second before turning to face the demon again. They had time. They had maybe two hours before they had to go pick up Claire. Claire didn't like to waste gas on pointless trips so of course they were more than happy to drive while Claire passed out in the passenger seat.

They had time. They could help Bill out then meet up with Claire later.

"Nah, I'm not busy." Y/n opened the door a bit more, crossing their arms as they leaned up against the doorframe. "So, what's up?"

Bill didn't speak right away, looking everywhere but right at Y/n. The human remained silent, staying patient as they allowed Bill to figure out what it was he wanted to talk about. It seemed like something was seriously bothering him and if they could help him out with whatever it was then they were going to do just that. Not because they liked him. Not because they cared or sympathized with him. No, none of that. Absolutely not. They just didn't like the idea of a pissed off demon walking around their house. Yeah, that was it. If a pissed off or upset demon began to roam around their house, who knows what would occur. They didn't want to risk waiting long enough to find out what exactly would happen, they rather liked keeping their house and theirself intact and unharmed. So helping Bill with his problem now could prevent any future problems from occurring. They just had to wait long enough for Bill to find his voice and speak about what problem was making him look so vulnerable and less than his confident self.

And that was the moment he allowed an old topic to resurface.

"A couple nights ago... You... We- umm... discussed that I have trouble accepting physical touch but that I also might be... touch starved. And you had... said that you would help me become more comfortable with the idea of experiencing gentle touches rather than harsh, aggressive touches. ...We did have that conversation, right? I didn't just imagine it?"

"Oh- Uh, yeah. Yeah, we talked about all of that. You were... kind of dozing off when we had been discussing it, though, so I thought you had completely forgotten about that conversation even happening in the first place. Especially since you didn't mention it again the next morning."

Bill hummed, straightening his posture a bit as he lifted his right hand up to his neck to play with his bowtie. "Did you mean it?"

"Mean what?"

"That you would help me. Help me learn to accept good physical touch from people. That we would go slow and that you wouldn't hurt me. Did you mean all of that?"

Y/n's eyes widened for a split second before softening as they gave Bill a reassuring smile. "Yeah. Yeah, I did."

"...Could we try and start now?" Bill's voice got a lot softer as these words passed his lips. Y/n couldn't help but wonder if it was due to the embarrassment of wanting to ask for help or because he was uncertain if this was something he actually wanted to do.

Either way, whatever reason was behind why Bill was acting this way, Y/n gave a firm nod.

"Yeah. Yeah, of course we can try now. If that's what you want to do. If this isn't something you're comfortable with, or at any point you start to feel very uncomfortable from all the touch and attention, let me know and we'll either take a break or just stop completely."

Bill looked at them, processing their gentle words that sounded so foreign to him. Gentle words being spoken towards him specifically? An extremely rare occurrence. But ever since he's been staying here, this human has given him more care and attention than he has received in his entire existence. It was so strange. He felt the warmth inside of him grow from it even though they had yet to actually touch him again. A part of him hoped it never stopped, that they would continue to act kind towards him. Another part of him said it was only a matter of time before the human began to act harshly towards him, just like everyone else, and that warmth would quickly change to a painful coldness that he was all too familiar with.

"Okay... that works."

Y/n stepped back, gesturing for Bill to come in. He paused, raising a brow and looking around.

"...Is this a trick? You said your room was off-limits."

"Any other time, yes. Yes, it would be off-limits. But right now, I will allow it. I don't mind if I'm in the room and can keep an eye on you so I know you don't go through any of my belongings."

He nodded, silently walking in and entering the room. Y/n shut the door, passing Bill and walking over towards their bed and plopping down on it. They patted the spot beside them, gesturing for Bill to come over and sit with them. He did just that once he figured out what exactly they were motioning for him to do, sitting beside the human and glancing over at them.

"So... what exactly are we going to do?"

Y/n smiled gently, lifting their hand up and holding it out. "I think an easy way to start getting you used to physical touch would be hand holding. Not much contact has to be made, and at any point you can easily pull away if you think it's too much. Would you like to try that? Just holding hands?"

Bill's eyes quickly gazed down to stare at their hand, noticing that Y/n was keeping it close enough for him to see and observe but still creating some distance between them so he had some space. He couldn't help but appreciate that little fact just a little bit. He gave a nod in response to their question. That shouldn't be too bad. He could handle simple hand holding. Of course he could.

"...Could you say it? Say that you're okay with this? Because I know it makes you uncomfortable and I just want to have your audible consent with this. Or you can say no and we don't have to do this."

Bill rolled his eyes, repressing a groan that wanted to escape. "Yes, yes, I am okay with you holding my hand. Now, can we go ahead and do this before I change my mind and decide to back out-" He lifted his own hand up and quickly went to grasp theirs.

Bill paused for a moment when their hands made contact with one another. He could feel Y/n's warmth instantly wrap around his hand like a blanket which caused a chill to run down his spine. He didn't know whether he liked this or not; he wanted to release Y/n quickly at the same time that he wanted to pull them closer and never let them go. It was so confusing and he wasn't sure what to do at that moment. He didn't even realize he started shaking. He didn't realize his grip on Y/n's hand kept tightening and loosening as his mind clouded with uncertainty.

This should be fine. This wasn't hurting him. He was safe, this was okay.

So why was he freaking out so much?

Y/n watched Bill in silence, being patient and watching Bill's reaction to holding their hand. They were waiting to see if Bill would let go and state the experiment was over. With how badly he was shaking, they were sure he would say this was too much and just let go. They weren't even holding his hand in return, they just held it out while he held onto it so that way if he wanted to let go he knew that they wouldn't stop him. This would be on his own terms with what he could or could not deal with. If he wanted to hold their hand, they would sit there and let him hold it for however long he needed or wanted to. If he wanted to let go and never be touched again, that was okay too. They didn't want Bill to feel uncomfortable, so whatever they needed to do to make sure the demon was comfortable here then they would do it.

They sat there, waiting for Bill to say or do something.

But nothing happened.

The demon seemed so lost in thought, continuously squeezing and unsqueezing their hand like a stress ball.

Realizing he was stuck in his own mind, Y/n decided it was time to snap him back into reality. They tried to pull their hand away, thinking this might've been too much for him. They still had no real idea how much abuse Bill has had to endure in his life to make him so cautious about anyone touching him.

When Bill felt their hand slipping, part of him felt a bit of relief. The other part of him, however, was panicking. He didn't want them to let go. He didn't want to lose their touch. Not now. Not yet. He quickly wrapped a firm, tight grip around the human's slipping hand. An involuntary whimper escaped from him, surprising both himself and the human. But he didn't have much time to be embarrassed. He locked eyes with Y/n, this worried, fearful expression taking over.

Y/n's heart broke seeing this.

"Hey, hey- It's alright! You want to keep holding my hand? You can. It's okay, I won't pull away again. Here-" Y/n lifted their other hand up and placed it gently on top of Bill's, both of their hands now sandwiching his in the middle and giving it a light squeeze.

Bill looked down at their hands, his breath hitched for a moment before he slowly began to release it. It didn't hurt... this wasn't hurting him. They weren't pulling away, that was good. That meant their warmth would stay. He closed his eyes, visibly seeming to relax but still not speaking up.

Y/n sighed, glad that the demon was calming down. At least on the outside he seemed to be. They had no idea what was going through his head right now and honestly they wished he would speak up just to reassure them that he was okay and not having a full blown panic attack that they couldn't see. They stared down at their hands, feeling Bill's fingers curl around their left hand that was on the bottom. The hand they had on top began to move just a small bit, just slowly beginning to move their thumb in small circles against the back of Bill's hand. He didn't seem to protest against this, keeping his eyes closed and remaining silent, so Y/n continued to do this action.

When they began to move their thumb over Bill's knuckles to continue the gentle circular motion, Y/n spoke up to see if Bill was verbal at the moment and able to speak. "So, when we first met, we made a deal together. You seemed... rather quick to shake hands on the deal. Do you make deals often? ...How come you're comfortable shaking hands but seem a bit fidgety around the idea of holding hands?"

Silence followed after their question, causing Y/n to assume that maybe Bill was nonverbal at the moment. But then Bill reopened his eyes, looking up at them and giving a small shrug before speaking up, "I did make deals a lot, and to seal a deal with me... you have to shake on it. I guess... I'm more comfortable with that because usually I'm the one making the deals, so I'm in charge of what is happening. I'm the one who is allowing them to touch me. Plus... I know that the physical contact will be brief and won't last long. Especially since when I usually make deals there's this blue flame that engulfs our hands and the other person is usually so freaked out by it that they're quick to let go once the transaction is completed."

"Huh... I guess that makes sense," Y/n nodded, their index finger beginning to trace up and down Bill's fingers one-by-one. "Does the blue flame like- leave a mark? Burn the other's skin to make the deal permanent or something?"

"No.. No, it doesn't burn. It's more like a spiritual link that is made... The deal binds us, makes sure that whoever I'm making the deal with isn't screwing me over and completes their end of the deal. Though, even then sometimes they are able to find loopholes so they can stab me in the back later on..." The last few words that spilled out from Bill's lips had a bit of venom in them as his eyes drifted down, focusing on their hands and giving Y/n's a tight squeeze before loosening once more.

"Huh, interesting... Geez, I feel like I'm starting to sound like Jerome now. I just know for a fact these are the type of questions he would bombard you with, trying to obtain all the "demon lore" that he can."

"Yeah, Camera has definitely been obsessed trying to get all the answers he can out of me since I got here. At first I was annoyed... but then I thought I could actually use his curiosity to my advantage. Ended up making a deal with him: if he brought an extra peanut butter and jelly sandwich to work for me then I would give him one answer to one of his questions."

Y/n stopped tracing Bill's hand for a moment, staring at him with wide eyes. Bill was confused as to why that was their reaction, wondering if he said something wrong. Did he say something wrong? But then his own eyes widened in surprise when they heard the human snort. They snorted. Lifting their hand off of Bill's, they moved their hand to cover their mouth to let a small laugh escape. Even though they released one of their hands from his, he could still feel a pleasant warmth surge through him.

"Oh my gosh- seriously? You made a deal with the supernatural fanatic to answer all of his questions- in return for a sandwich? That- Oh gosh, that's adorable!" Another laugh escaped from them as their left hand gently squeezed Bill's hand.

Bill puffed out his cheeks, narrowing his eyes and glaring at the human. "It's not adorable, it's a serious deal! You usually leave me in the backroom to starve during your entire shift so I found a way to get food for myself for free!"

"Mhmm. Yes. Very serious. Completely serious." Y/n grinned before clearing their throat, their voice changing to mock that of an advertiser's voice, "This just in ladies, gents, and non-binaries of the world: You can now receive an answer to all your questions about the universe and unsolved mysteries you've been theorizing about for years for the low, low price of one PB&J sandwich delivered to your friendly neighborhood demon!"

"Are you mocking me?"

"What? No, not at all!"

"You are! You are so mocking me right now! How dare you?!"

"It's not my fault you make it so easy to do so~"

Bill gasped dramatically, looking away with a huff. This just caused Y/n to laugh even louder, laughing so hard that they ended up falling backwards onto their bed. They didn't even realize that with their hand still holding onto Bill's that they would be pulling him down with them, causing the demon to yelp in surprise and end up lying right beside them. The two glanced at one another, one of them having a playful grin spread across their face while the other tried to keep looking annoyed with the human. But he couldn't. He just couldn't because that goofy look on the human's face caused his annoyance to slip away and eventually the two of them found themselves breaking down into a fit of laughter together to the point their chests hurt and it was hard to breathe.

Was the 'PB&J Sandwich Deal' just that hilarious to laugh about? Not really. So, why were they laughing as hard as they were right now? Maybe they were just that exhausted and delusional to the point their sanity finally snapped to let the craziness out. Or maybe it was because they just simply could. Just being in each other's presence, talking, laughing, hand holding: maybe it was just a nice experience to enjoy together. And besides, whatever the reason for the laughter, it was a great distraction for Bill. That voice in his head telling him that this was bad had finally shut up. He could enjoy the small amount of touch, the little bit of warmth, and not fear that he was going to get hurt from this. He really felt like he could trust Y/n and it was such a nice feeling to have.

It even encouraged him to want to try... something else.

So when their laughter calmed down and they were both staring up at the ceiling, hands at their sides with their fingers intertwined, Bill took a deep breath in and decided to speak up once more, "Hey... Candle?"

"Yeah?"

"Since we're on the subject of Camera... On my first day hanging out with you all at the General Store, the kid ran up to me and... he did something. And I wanted-... I was wondering if-..."

Y/n turned their head to look towards Bill who quickly grew silent, staring up at the ceiling intently like he was expecting the words he wanted to say to be glued up there.

"...What do you want, Bill? Take your time, it's alright."

Bill looked away from the ceiling, now face-to-face with Y/n who just smiled reassuringly towards him.

"...A hug. I-... I want to experience a hug."

Y/n didn't allow the confusion and shock to be shown in their expression. Y/n didn't bombard Bill with all the questions they now had on how neglected Bill was from experiencing any form of comfort or good physical touch.

Instead, Y/n smiled and released their hand from his so they could spread their arms open. A silent way to let Bill know that he could most certainly experience what a hug was like if that's what he wanted and was ready for. Hand holding didn't require too much physical contact, but a hug was different.

So it didn't surprise them when Bill hesitated at first to move. Clearly he was debating whether this was okay and of course they wouldn't push him. They knew this little session wasn't going to immediately change Bill's perspective on touch. He may never trust physical touch and just prefer a blanket or hoodie for comfort and warmth instead. Or maybe if he continued to take small baby steps and kept doing this with them, he'll eventually learn to at least trust one person when it comes to him wanting a hug or wanting to hold hands at any point in time when he needed comfort from another being.

Bill moved a little closer, making direct eye contact as he did so. He tried to sense any malice or deception in the human's eyes, trying to see if this was a trick of some sort. All he could see, however, was caring eyes staring back at him. Slowly, he forced his arms out of their frozen position at his sides and began to wrap his arms around the human. He made a small whine noise, internally bashing himself for doing so. They were going to think he was weak after this, weren't they? They were going to think that he was this pathetic demon that had no powers and was incredibly fragile and vulnerable in this meat sack body and was weak for being afraid of touch and didn't deserve this kindness or any kindness for that matter and should instead be tortured and beaten for what he's done and-

Oh.

Warmth.

So much...

...this was safe.

Bill closed his eyes, letting his head fall on their chest as he squeezed the human tightly, digging into the back of their shirt as he tried to pull himself closer. Y/n helped a bit with that problem when they wrapped their own arms around him, holding him so gently but with enough grip that Bill knew they were there and holding him. This was so nice. This was... really... nice. Why had he never been hugged before now? This didn't seem so bad. It was so comfortable and warm and safe. He didn't want to move, he just wanted to close his eyes and rest. He pressed his face against their shirt, taking a deep breath in and letting it out slowly. He let all the shivers out so that tense body of his could relax against their hold.

"You okay, Cipher?" Y/n asked softly, one of their hands on his back while the other rested against the back of Bill's head.

They began to slowly maneuver their fingers through the knots in his hair, instantly feeling Bill lean into their touch and allowing them to hold his limp head.

"Yeah, I'm okay, Candle. ...Could we... stay like this... for a bit?" Bill mumbled, barely audible and just barely being heard by Y/n.

The human smiled, though, continuing to comb his hair with one hand while the other rubbed his back in soothing circles. Bill's whole weight was practically on them at this point, the demon leaning in to try and soak up all of their body heat. He was in need of touch, in need of being held and cradled. Everyone deserves to experience a hug, and if a hug is what the demon wanted then they would gladly give it to him. Besides, Y/n couldn't remember the last time they experienced a hug, either. Or the last time they held hands with someone. Or the last time they laughed so hard to the point their chest hurt with someone by their side. They tried to remember the last time they experienced that. Surely Claire had hugged them or held their hand recently... right?

Speaking of Claire, Y/n had completely forgotten the fact they were supposed to hang out with him soon. Their two outfits that they had laid out to choose from remained untouched and forgotten by this point due to Y/n being too focused on making sure their touch starved roommate got the attention and cuddles that he needed.

"Yeah. I don't see why not."

And there the two of them stayed, cuddled on Y/n's bed, for the rest of the evening. The human never once showed any sign of wanting to end the hug as they continued to hold him close while the demon slowly began to drift off to sleep against them.

This would be the first night Bill Cipher had slept peacefully since his arrival to Mercy, North Carolina.

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Chapter 13: Sunday, October 16th, 2022