His eye opened, looking around as he mentally grinned to himself.

This was it, everything was falling into place.

All he had to do was find the equation, the simple equation that would take down the barrier once and for all.

Then, and only then, can chaos escape into the world and allow the full take over to commence.

Luckily for him, this place was pretty cleaned up. He appreciated how well the human kept things in order even when it came to his own thoughts. It was a clear, professional mind. Everything was in order, making his job easier as he wouldn't have to scour the entire mindscape for this piece of information.

A single door stood alone amongst the white void that surrounded him. It didn't take a genius to figure out that this was where he needed to go. Without a second thought, he floated over towards it.

His hand was on the handle.

The door opened with ease, not a single creak could be heard coming from the hinges.

And that was the moment everything went wrong.

When the blue fire erupted and surrounded the room, Bill's panic began to set in.

No, no he shouldn't be here. He's already gone through this scenario once before, hasn't he? Was it once? Maybe twice. Maybe not at all. Was this what deja vu felt like? That moment where you think you've already lived through a moment only to find out this is your first time ever being placed in this particular situation? Maybe that was what it was. Deja vu. That would explain why it felt so familiar, but that did not ease his worries in the slightest.

Bill didn't want to be here. If this played out how he remembered- or, at least how he thought it would play out according to his fake memories that were coming true, then this was all going to go horribly wrong. He didn't want to live through that. Not again. No, not again. Because it would have had to already happen for this to be considered 'again'. He didn't want this to happen at all to him.

"Let me outta here! Let me OUT!" He couldn't breathe. Everything felt all too real yet at the same time it felt like a bad dream. One he couldn't wake himself up from. Was the blue fire in the room causing the temperature to rise? It felt hot in here. And the walls. Were they closing in on him? He really thought the room was getting smaller and he found himself having trouble breathing. Do demons need to breathe? He can't remember.

Bill points at the door in an attempt to destroy it and get himself out of that hellhole but he found his powers were useless here. Powerless. Right. Wasn't he powerless? "Why isn't this working?!" It sounded like his voice was not his own. He knows that to be his voice but... it had been so long since he heard it. Was that even his voice anymore?

"Hey."

Bill's eye shot wide open. No. No, he recognized that voice. He recognized it all too well and it made every inch of his body tense up. He wanted to curl up. Hide. Get far away, far enough away to the point he could no longer hear this man's voice. This was the last voice he wanted to hear.

"Look at me."

The voice that would bring about his downfall.

"Turn around and look at me, you one-eyed demon!"

The voice of his killer.

"Bill."

"No..."

"Hey."

"No, no, no, no..."

"Hey!"

"Leave... Leave me ALONE!"

Bill turned around, prepared to face his reaper only for his eyes to widen.

The fire, the blue fire was gone. The white void that surrounded him and made him feel as though it was swallowing him whole was gone. The man... the man wearing the fez. He, too, was gone.

He was no longer in the mindscape, nowhere close to it. He recognized the scene before him.

The General Store. He was back at the Mercy General Store. He knew this place, he was just here yesterday. This was a safe, open space. There would be no fire, no small room with locked doors, no man with a fez ready to punch him out of existence.

"Hey, you okay?"

Bill blinked, finally noticing someone was standing behind the counter. Has someone been standing there the entire time? Those (e/c) eyes... he knew those eyes. He knew where he was. He cleared his throat, stepping forward.

"Yeah, yeah... I just got lost in thought for a second there, that's all."

It sounded like his voice, but at the same time it felt disconnected from him. Was he even controlling the words coming out of his mouth or was he simply being puppeted through this interaction now? This didn't feel like a deja vu moment to him, he didn't remember this scene playing out in the slightest and yet he couldn't drop the feeling that he had been here before.

"Alright, if you're sure you're okay," they spoke softly, a warm smile making its way onto their face aimed in his direction. "I just don't get why you're here. It's your day off, you should go enjoy some fresh air and escape from this place while you still have the chance!"

"And leave you to suffer all on your own? Now what kind of a friend would I be if I did a thing like that?" He felt his mouth curve upwards. That was not his command. He didn't understand what was happening, feeling like an audience member in a movie theater waiting to see what would happen next in the storyline.

"You came out all this way just to make sure I wasn't lonely, yet you and I both know that I work with Norah, Adrianna, and Ollie today so I am far from actually being alone. Now why do I have a hard time believing that?"

His arms raised in a defensive stance with a toothy grin. "Nothing gets past you, does it? Alright, Mx. Nosy, if you must know: Adrianna messaged me that you guys got a new supply of candles today."

Y/n raised an eyebrow as their arms crossed, looking over him questionably. "Yeah? So? Why do you care about a candle-... oh no."

Bill's body laughed without a command telling it to do so, his right arm raising up and dropping a basket on the counter that he hadn't even realized he had been holding until now. "Oh yes! I would love to purchase every last Sparkling Cinnamon candle you have, please!"

Y/n buried their face in their hands, shaking their head rapidly. "Why? Why would you go and do a thing like that?!"

"Because I recently got paid and I just adore the scent so much!"

"Right. And it definitely has nothing to do with the fact I absolutely despise the scent."

"Of course it doesn't! You wouldn't believe me to be that awful of a person who would go out of his way just to mess with you and cause you to suffer, would you?"

"I don't think I know what to expect from you anymore, if I'm being honest."

This felt like a personal conversation between Y/n and himself. But it wasn't with himself. This wasn't a memory of his that he recognized. Who was speaking for him? Who was controlling his body movements and messing with Y/n in such a playful manner?

Bill felt like he didn't belong here, that this memory didn't belong to him. But if it didn't belong to him, then who did it belong to?

He waited for the laughter between the two to end. He needed the scene to continue, to watch it play out and figure out what was going on. Maybe if he watched long enough, he'd start to understand what all of this meant.

Suddenly, he felt something grab his shoulder. Or someone.

They were shaking it.

He looked down, but there wasn't a hand on him.

But he felt someone grasping his shoulder tightly. He was being shaken harshly, not in a way where someone was trying to cause him harm but just simply shaking him as though they were trying to get his attention. Maybe he wasn't being shaken in here.

No. Not in here.

Someone was shaking him out there.

~~~

Bill gasped, eyes opening wide in a moment of panic and confusion. What happened? Where was he? He sat up, hearing the sound of his own heart pounding in his ears.

He didn't quite understand what had happened, what he had just experienced. It was all so fuzzy, he could only remember bits and pieces of what he had seen. The more he tried to think back on what he had just witnessed, however, the more he found the fragmented pieces of memory beginning to slip away. The memory wouldn't stick. It was like his brain didn't want him to remember what he had just seen and the more he tried to remember, the more he seemed to forget.

Bill growled, closing his eyes shut tight as he tried to focus. What was all that about? Why did he feel this... vulnerable right now? He couldn't concentrate on his thoughts, he couldn't hear anything but his heart beating rapidly. The only thing that felt comforting and was keeping him grounded in the slightest was the warmth he felt coming from his shoulder. It felt so warm.

It was very warm. A comforting, safe type of warm.

He couldn't help but lean into it a bit. He wanted to be as close as he could to it in hopes that it would keep him anchored there and not allow him to descend into the confusion and chaos that was happening within his mind right now.

It felt... so nice to just close his eyes and practically melt at this feeling.

Safe. He was safe, right? This was a place of safety and comfort right now?

His thoughts began to clear from the fog a bit. He still couldn't remember what had just happened but at least it was becoming clearer to think. And the pounding was lowering in volume as his heart rate began to slow down. It was over. He was okay. Everything was fine.

"That's it, Bill... There you go," a soft whisper suddenly spoke out.

Had someone been speaking to him this whole time and he just couldn't hear them before now? It sounded familiar. Very familiar. He knew this voice, did he not? He was trying to focus on remembering who the voice belonged to, but his mind was currently focused on the warmth he was receiving. It was so warm. It felt safe. He wanted to lean into it, cling onto it- whatever it was. He just knew he didn't want it to stop.

"Bill...? Hey, can you hear me?"

The voice again. Right. He should be trying to figure out who this was. He groaned, stirring a bit while shifting under the weight of the warmth.

"Hey there... Hey. I know, you're probably really tired. I get it. It's late, you've had a rough night. But could you open your eyes...? Please? I don't want you falling right back into whatever nightmare you were just going through..."

'I already told you, Y/n. Dream demons don't have nightmares.' Bill thought lazily, his brain about to drift off to sleep once more.

He was so tired.

Until he wasn't.

Y/n.

His eyes opened up instantly, the haziness that clouded his mind instantly disappearing as he looked around.

Bill spotted Y/n, looking up and noticing their concerned look. Concerned? What did they have to be concerned for? And why was one of their arms stretched out? He followed the line, trying to see where exactly their hand was. And then he found it. Laying there on his shoulder. The source of the warmth. The warmth he had thought was safe.

That's when the panic set in and Bill quickly jumped back, shoving their hand off of him. "Don't-"

"Touch you- Yeah, I know," their words quickly sputtered out, pulling back their hand and raising it up in the air. "I wasn't planning on touching you this time, I swear. But you started moving in your sleep... You were tossing and turning pretty violently and your body was inching closer towards the edge of your bed and I thought you were going to ram your arm into the edge of the nightstand. I only grabbed you to try and keep you from hurting yourself- and when I was going to pull away, you-... ...you leaned in like you... wanted it. And I wasn't sure if I should pull away because you seemed to be... calming down. So-... Frick, I'm so freaking sorry. I swear I'm better at respecting personal space than this."

Bill stared at them, his hands clutching the sheets of his blanket. His chest was tight, a chill taking over his body now. He'd never admit that he missed that lack of warmth he had felt on his shoulder just a moment ago. No, he couldn't miss it. It was bad.

Touch.

It was-

"Do you... want to talk about it? ...The nightmare?"

Bill gritted his teeth, glaring at the human. "I don't get nightmares. I already told you that."

Y/n found those words hard to believe now after just witnessing why Bill really hasn't been sleeping these past couple of days. If he wasn't experiencing nightmares when his eyes were closed and he drifted off to sleep, then they weren't sure what it was. All they knew was that something was happening while Bill slept, and for some reason he was deflecting what exactly that something was. Maybe he just wasn't comfortable being that vulnerable around them and wasn't willing to just spill all his darkest fears to them. They understood that, in a sense. So maybe talking about the problem wasn't the solution here. Maybe they could try and distract him by talking about something else? They looked at Bill's shoulder, watching as he lifted his hand up to clutch it gently while his eyes drifted to stare at a spec of fuzz on his blanket. They frowned slightly, tilting their head just a bit.

"...Hey Bill- You don't... have to answer this question, but I wanted to ask... why don't you like physical touch?"

Bill blinked, snapping out of whatever daze he had been stuck in to look over at the human. He didn't answer right away, only staring at them as his tired mind tried to process the question he was being asked. "Because-..."

Y/n sat up a bit straighter, folding their hands in their lap as they waited patiently for him to find his words.

"...Because it hurts."

Y/n paused, staring at Bill in silence.

"...What... hurts, Bill?"

"Physical touch," the demon mutters, looking away from Y/n once more. "Physical touch hurts. It always hurts and... I'd rather not hurt anymore, thank you."

Y/n stared in disbelief, almost certain their heart had shattered at those words. They couldn't care less for the demon, really. They didn't care for him. They didn't sympathize with him. But the idea that... the only experience Bill has ever had with physical touch has only caused him pain- they wouldn't dare wish it upon their worst enemy to always be abused and never experience some sort of gentle, caring touch.

"...Bill... not all forms of physical contact are meant to cause pain. There are... harmful forms of touch, touch that can abuse and have the power to hurt others. But there are other forms of physical contact, as well, that are meant to be more... comforting and trusting. Those types of touches make you feel like you are cared for and make you feel good. Have you... ever experienced that? A time where you've felt a good touch and didn't feel like someone's intentions were to hurt you?"

Bill didn't say a word. He didn't have to say anything as he glanced down at his own shoulder and had his hand squeeze it gently. The same way Y/n had given it a gentle, comforting squeeze to try and help steady him.

"...Crap." Y/n's face fell, looking up at Bill with so much concern filling their expression. "Crap. Crap. Oh crap. You- Frick, Bill, that's-" They quickly stopped themselves, not wanting to scare or worry the half-asleep Bill that wasn't even fully there and was probably just really confused why Y/n was still here keeping him awake. They were so heartbroken, though, hearing how Bill has never been given a comforting touch.

Physical touch hurts.

He's always been hurt.

Even the human had intentionally caused Bill physical pain by digging their fingers into his wound when they had first met just to set Bill straight. They used abuse to scare Bill into listening. He's probably afraid that they're just like everyone else and will just end up hurting him in the end.

Crap.

"Oh, hun... I'm so, so sorry," they whispered gently, watching the demon who had nearly passed back out just sitting there get startled awake when they spoke up again. He raised a brow, probably very confused as to why they were being so gentle with their words now. "No one deserves that. No human or demon deserves to go this long without experiencing a kind form of physical touch. Physical contact is a big part of how humans tend to interact with one another, to create bonds and earn trust. Maybe physical touch was never something you worried about in your demon form but now that you're in a human body... you might crave the need for physical touch more. ...But you've only seen physical contact at its worst so that's why you want to avoid it."

Bill stared at them, swaying a bit as he sat there making Y/n fear he would fall over if he actually did pass back out. But he remained awake, seeming to be in thought. Must be harder to think when the majority of your mind is still fast asleep.

"...'M broken... aren't I?"

"What? No, no, Bill. You're not broken. There are tons of humans out there in the world who don't like, don't want, or don't trust physical touch. Some humans tend to link trust and touch together and if you can't trust someone then you don't feel comfortable accepting any form of touch from that person. There are people on both the neurodiverse spectrum and people who are asexual who don't like the idea of touch. And then there are people who don't want it due to trauma and years of... abuse. And if you've only ever been hurt by physical touch, then it makes sense why you don't want it. And now I-... I hate the fact I've touched you so many times already without your consent and how that's probably been hurting you."

"...No."

"No? ...No, what?"

"Not hurting... You haven't been hurting me," his words were a bit slurred as he lifted his free hand up to wipe his face. "It's... startling. But it's... nice. It's warm. I... I want it but-... it's only a matter of time-..."

"...You think it's only a matter of time before I switch gears and suddenly... start hurting you instead?"

He tiredly nodded and Y/n could not help the soft coo that escaped from them. "...Geez, not only are you afraid of physical touch and don't like the idea of it... but on top of it you're touch starved, too."

"...Bad?"

"No. No, Bill, it's not bad. It-..." They paused, readjusting their sitting position and crossing their legs, hands folded in their lap. "Touch starved means that you... you haven't received as much physical touch as you should, or any at all, and you yearn for that good, safe feeling. You want it because you've been lacking positive touch all your life. But you find it hard to accept that touch even though you do crave for it. And there's nothing wrong with that, Bill. You're not the only one in the world who is touch starved. And it's something that we can try to fix if you do want to experience positive touch. We don't have to, but if you wanted to we could. You, like many others, deserve to be comforted in that aspect."

"I don't."

"...Why not?"

"I've done... bad. No one... wants to touch me in a way that doesn't hurt me. ...and I deserve that. I don't deserve comfort or-..."

Bill took a shaky breath, letting his eyes close as his shoulders shook slightly. "...or warmth."

Y/n frowned, watching as Bill began to nod off, his words replaying in their head. Of course they were curious about what kind of bad he did, but right now that wasn't their concern. If they can't help Bill by talking with him about his nightmares, they might as well try to figure out a way where they can comfort him through them. And this touch starved demon deserved to know that not everyone was out to hurt him.

They reached out their hand, holding it out not too close to Bill but at enough distance where if he wanted to grab it, he could.

"I know of at least one person who is willing to give you that positive affection you're wanting. I will not hurt you, Bill. I will keep you safe and warm. If you'll let me, that is. We can start slowly... work on getting used to caring touch until you're comfortable with it. Whenever you're ready to try... whether that be today, tomorrow, or next month: I'll be here."

Bill opened his eyes, that sleepy gaze looking up and staring at Y/n in a way that made the human feel as though he were currently looking into their soul. Y/n did not move, however. They did not look away, they did not flinch under his judging gaze. They just waited patiently for a response from him. They couldn't believe how soft they were starting to be with him. It was like taking care of a wounded animal sometimes when it came to Bill.

"...You promise you won't hurt me?"

"I promise, Cipher. You have my word."

Y/n gave Bill a small, reassuring smile to emphasize their words a bit more. There was no malice or deceit behind what they said as far as Bill could tell. It was so strange, but also so comforting.

"You should really try and get some sleep. We're opening the store tomorrow which means we gotta be there early," Y/n spoke softly, noticing the tired gaze return to Bill's eyes as a small yawn escaped past his lips.

The human couldn't help the small chuckle escape as their demon roommate didn't even hesitate to fall backwards and lay down once more on his bed. Standing up, Y/n began to make their way towards the bedroom door, opening it as quietly as they could before turning back to look at Bill a final time. He seemed to already be settling back to sleep, happy that the conversation could finally come to an end.

"Goodnight, Bill... I promise, I'll show you that not everyone is out to hurt you in this universe. There are people out there who care... and you deserve to be cared for."

The door closed as the demon fell back into slumber.

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Exw zlwk brx, L fdq'w khos exw ihho vdih dqg zdup.

Chapter 12: Sunday, October 2nd, 2022