John Pov
—Two Weeks Later—

It was around the middle of the night when I heard my window lock snap. My stomach flipped and I burrowed under the blankets.

I'm probably just imagining it.
I heard it open.

Okay I'm going to fucking die aren't I?

I slowly lifted the blanket off my head and saw a dark silhouette come into my room and lean on the wall.

"Morning Laurens. Miss me?" The figure said.

Of course.
It's fucking Alex.

"Where the hell have you been?!" I whisper shouted.

"I was busy,"
He hummed, walking towards me, his dress shoes loud against the wooden floor.

"Doing what?" I hissed, still trying to be somewhat quiet.

"Hm. Things," He said, sitting on the edge of my bed.

"What kind of 'things'?" I asked, sitting up.

"Well for star-Never mind. You won't want to hear about that."
He cut himself off.

"Oh look at you! You're learning basic human interaction!"
I exclaimed.

Fuck being quiet am
I right?

I knew he was glaring at me even though I couldn't see him very well. "I've been doing better." He muttered.

"How many friends do you have?"
I asked.

He was silent.

"Congrats, you've officially learned nothing." I said.

"I'm terribly sorry, but I'm trying my best." He said.

Bitch you are a sociopath!
How da fuck you so polite?!

My door swung open.
Well what the shit?

"John, I know you're probably asleep but Laf and I want to play Super Smash Br- oh my lord who is sitting on your bed?" Herc said.

He flipped the lights on.
Damn that's bright.
Here's eyes widened.

"N-no..no you, you died!" He exclaimed, stumbling back into the hall.

Alex stood up and held out his hand. "Ah, Sorry. I don't mean to impose-"

"Well to fucking bad because you already have!" Herc exclaimed.

"I-I...I beg your pardon?" Alex asked, retracting his hand and putting it behind his back.

"You're dead!" Herc shrieked.

"..You see..that's where your wrong." Alex said.

"John you knew?! You let him in our fucking house?!" Herc shouted.

"Well..I mean you could put it like that.." I muttered, rubbing the back of my neck.

~•~•~•~

Soon enough, Laf was in my room too, also screaming at Alex.

Herc grabbed Alex by the collar while I frantically tried to stop both Laf and Herc from most likely murdering Alex.

"Last time I saw you, you planned on killing everyone," Herc growled.

"It varies from time to time." Alex calmly replied, yet a caught the hint of intimidation.

Hercs eyes widened.
Laf grabbed Alex and punched him.

"What the shit?!" I shouted.
"He's a psychopath!" Laf yelled.

"Sociopath."
Alex corrected from under Laf

"Right a sociopath. Sorry for fucking forgetting." Laf hissed.

I feel..
like that was directed towards me.

"I gladly accept your apology."

"Oh so now you're a polite nice guy now?" Herc hissed from behind me.

"Oh, heavens no." Alex relied, pushing Laf off of him and taking out a knife.

"Alex! This is not how you make friends!" I exclaimed.

His eyes darted from me,
to the knife,
then back to me.

He slowly put his knife away, sighing. "Terribly sorry. I uh...got a bit..worked up is all." Alex said.

"You pulled out a knife." Laf hissed, getting up.

"Yes, and I'm deeply sorry about that if you could just pardon m-"

Laf punched him yet again.
Alex spun around and fell straight to the floor.

"For a murderer you don't take punches very well," Herc noted.

"Will you stop punching him?!" I shouted.

"Just a quick FYI John..He was totally ready to kill all of us just a few minutes ago!" Laf shouted, pointing at Alex.

Alex slowly got up, clutching his jaw. "I..don't want to come off as rude..but uh..that..hurt. Ow."

"Stop trying to act like you have 'feelings' because we know you don't." Herc hissed.

Alex cleared his throat and adjusted his tie.

"That sentence hurts my feelings."
He said.

Laf scoffed
and I smiled.

"Get out of our fucking house. How'd you even get through here? The chimney?!" Laf exclaimed.

Alex pointed towards the window, without saying a word.

"You climbed through the fucking window?!" Laf shouted.

"Let me remind you, you have neighbors." Alex said, putting his hands behind his back.

"So?! They'll hear and call the fucking police-"

"The police are bloody idiots. I'm going to do the thing pretty soon if you keep hurting my oh, so valuable 'feelings'." Alex said.

Oh yay!
He's going to do the thing!
I have a love, hate relationship with the thing.

"The...thing?" Laf asked, confused.
"Ah, yes, do excuse me,"

"No." Herc interrupted.
Alex narrowed his eyes and continued.

"I've grown quite addicte- Erm.. accustomed to Johns use of the particular 'weird' thing I do."
Alex said.

Addicted eh?

"Weird? Try scary as fuck." Herc muttered.

"I'm not scary," Alex hummed, looking Laf up and down.

Laf fidgeted nervously.

"You pulled out a knife a few minutes ago." Herc hissed.

"But I was polite, was I not? I did apologize." Alex stated, still looking at Laf.

"What the hell are you doing?" Laf said, clearly uncomfortable with the whole situation.

I'm loving this.
I can tell Alex is too.

"Obviously from France but anyone could tell that-"

"You stop what you're doing right fucking now." Herc hissed, pointing a finger at Alex.

"No. But where in France could it be? Chavaniac, France. Of course. Also a major in psychology. All three of you majored in...oh my.
Mr.Mulligan is this your boyfriend? And then you were the one that found about me through John.
And you also used to work at...
This is so much fun!
Jeez I do love doing the thing."
Alex said happily.

"You short little bastard," Herc growled, storming over to Alex and punching him right in the face.

Alex went straight down.
He had passed out.

"What the fuck guys?!" I shouted, trying to get Alex to wake up.

"What do you mean what the fuck?! You were the one to bring this psycho here!" Laf shouted back at me.

"No I didn't! He came through the window!" I yelled.

"Oh because that is so fucking comforting!" Herc shouted, standing by Lafs side.

I groaned and turned back to Alex trying to wake him up.

I showered him in kisses,
trying all and everything to wake him up.

"Why the fuck did you just kiss him?!" Laf exclaimed.

"Why the fuck do you think?!" I retaliated.

Laf and Herc both had a scared look of realization.

"Are you...dating that sociopath?" Herc asked quietly.

"No. But I'd like to be." I murmured.

"I don't think you have my blessing." Laf muttered.

"I don't care about your blessing. You both punched Alex!" I said, standing up.

Alex's hand twitched and he slowly sat up. He opened and closed his hand repeatedly, his eyes adjusting to the light.

He stopped moving his hand and said, "Well.
Ow.
That was pretty painful if I do say so myself."

Alex stood up and wiped off his pants.

"You can't take a punch for shit," Herc said. "Aren't you supposed to be a murderer?"

"Indeed I am, but I've fallen from the ways in which I have previously acted. Or at least, I'm trying to. But I never did like to get my hands dirty.
I'm more of a...
house cat.
I don't get involved in the icky stuff.
I tell people what to do..
and they listen."
Alex said.

"I'd like it if I could speak to John alone if that is alright." He said.

"Bitch you crazy! You just fucking pulled a knife out-"

"And I'll do it again, get out." Alex demanded.

The two hesitantly left.

"Now, I said I get what I want by talking. And what I want right now..
is you." Alex said.

"You're an asshole." I replied.

Alex smiled.
"Thank you."

Jeez he really needs friends.

"And if you're asking what I think you're asking, then yes, I'll be your boyfriend."

—•Time Skip •—

Alex Pov
"So how did you and dad meet?" Frances asked, her eyes drilled on the Tv.

I glanced at John, slightly nervous.
"It's a long story." John said.

"Yeah, yeah. You say that every time. But come on! Tell me!" She said, looking to John and I.

Philip agreed with his older sister. "Yeah! Tell us!"

With Philip being eight, we could tell him we met on a spaceship and he'd believe us.

Frances..
our fourteen year old..
well we wouldn't have much luck.

But, I have always been a masterful liar and spun people in webs of manipulation so lying to a fourteen year old wouldn't be too hard.

John, on the other hand, likes honestly like it's his best friend.

"College. Coffee shop. It was pretty cliche." I said, taking a sip of my tea.

"You're so boring!" She exclaimed. "Why thank you sweetheart." I said.

She groaned and left the room.
Philip smiled and followed after her.

"Hey! Don't pester your sister!" John called after Philip.

I put my drink down and sat next to John.

"You're such a liar and I can't say I don't love it.." He whispered.

"I do appreciate it John."
I said, equally quiet.

"You're insane."
"I know."
"I love you."
"I know."

He scoffed.
"You're mental."

"I know."