Chapter Two:
Decisions

The next day, I decided to approach Geoff and Griffon about me moving out. Michael and I had talked about it last night and we had sorted out mostly everything. The only thing I needed to do now was get Geoff and Griffon on board with it.

So, after dinner, I pulled them aside and went over what I was gonna tell them quickly in my head.

"Alright Gav, I've got work to do so make it quick," Geoff said. I nodded and folded my hands over each other and looked at them dead on.

"I'm moving out," I told them simply.

Their reaction wasn't immediate. Geoff sat there staring at me for several moments and Griffon looked down, not meeting my gaze.
But after a few seconds, Geoff shook his head and Griffon looked back up.

"No you're not," Geoff said giving me a monotoned look.

"What?" That was the last thing I expected them to say.

"You're not moving out. It's only been a month since your last suicide attempt. I know your therapist said you're making progress but it's still too soon for you to go off on your own," Geoff told me.

"But I'm not gonna be by myself. Michael offered for me to move in with him," I told them. Griffon looked at Geoff before speaking.

"Gavin, we both know Michael and you very well. Are you sure you two are ready for this type of step in your relationship?" Griffon asked me. I nodded quickly, probably looking stubborn.

"I already basically live there. Besides, Michael is the reason I'm starting to get better," I explained.

Griffon and Geoff exchanged a look before looking back at me. Both of there eyes were full of confusion and sadness.

"Why are you doing this, Gavin?" Griffon asked me.

I tried to come up with an excuse as to why I wanted to move out. But everything I came up with didn't sound believable so I decided to go with the truth.

"Look, I'm a grown man. I need my own space without a family intruding. Or vise versa. Heidi's been going into my room and looking through my things to the point where she read something in my journal. We agreed we didn't want her to find out about my depression so if I moved out, she'd never have the chance to," I explained. Griffon nodded slowly and Geoff sighed, nodding after.

"We understand, Gav. We're gonna miss you though," Griffon said, getting up and hugging me. Geoff smiled and nodded, getting up and patting me on the shoulder.

"Heidi's gonna miss you especially," Geoff smiled. I nodded and figured I should do something special for her when I tell her.

So, the rest of my night was spent packing up my various things scattered about. I wasn't really trying to get everything packed quickly. Michael and I decided I'd be moving my stuff over there in about a week so I had plenty of time.

As I was going through the little things scattered about, I found a box stuffed in a corner of the room. Curiosity got the better of me as I pulled it out and peered inside.

There was papers. Lots of papers. Some smaller than others. Some sticky notes, some index cards, some lined pieces of paper. Each were handwritten with quick but delicate cursive/print handwriting.

I pulled one out and started reading.

I can't believe it's been a month since you were put into your coma. I still find myself texting you until I realize you're not gonna answer.
The doctor said you were making progress though. That your brainwaves were picking up which shows that you could be waking up soon. I hope you do. You've missed so much.
Well, Geoff's giving me that look that tells me I should actually get some work done. I miss you, Gav. Please wake up.

~ Michael

So, these were from Michael. I wondered how many were in there. From what I could see, there was at least a hundred.

I heard a quiet knock on my door and I looked back, putting the paper back in the box. It was Geoff and he was smiling at me, looking at the box.

"You know, Michael wrote a note to you everyday after you went into your coma. He never let anyone read them," Geoff told me, coming closer.

"I guess I can see why," I muttered, smiling at the note again.

So for the rest of night, I read through most of the notes. They were so sweet and they always ended with him begging me to wake up. Tears came to my eyes after each note and I had to take frequent breaks to wipe the tears away.

He really did care.

...

The next morning, I found myself to be in a depressing mood. I felt as though I didn't have the energy to get up, or move around, or do anything. Like when my depression was at an all time high.

I laid in that uncomfortable bed for what felt like forever before I looked at my clock. It read around the time I'd usually be getting up, but I found myself laying there, just staring at the numbers that constantly changed.

I heard a knock at my door and I flipped over, turning away from it. I didn't want to see people right now.

"Hey, Gav. It's past the time you usually get up," Geoff reminded me. I nodded and continued to stare at the ever present wall.

"Come on, Gavin. Get up," Geoff pressed. I squeezed my eyes shut and shook my head, feeling the demons begin to cloud my judgement.

You're worthless.

Nobody would care if you got up.

Why bother when the world thinks you're a fake.

I heard Geoff come around to the opposite side of the bed and sit down so he was level with me. I opened my eyes to see a blurry Geoff.

"Do you need Michael?" Was all he said. I nodded and watched him get up and leave again.

Once he was gone, I let out the tears that I knew were coming. They streamed down my face in rivers and left my skin feeling wet and sticky. Tears dripped off my freakishly large nose into the pillow under my head and soaked up my feelings with no problem.

I have no idea how long it had been. Ten, maybe fifteen minutes before I heard the door open from downstairs and the sound of hurried footsteps filled my ears.

Michael was here.

My inference was confirmed when the stocky, red haired, Jersey man appeared at the door, looking at me in worry. I sat up, trying to wipe my tears away and forcing a smile onto my face. The feeling of making a forced smile washed over me and I suddenly realized how one of my demons was correct.

"Oh, Gav," Michael sighed, stepping into the room and sitting on my bed. I looked down, letting the tears fall again and dropping the fake smile.

Michael tackled me in a hug, forcing me to lean back again. I hugged him back, feeling a fresh wave of tears wash over me again. The feeling of his arms around me became one of my favorite feelings, but it always reminded me that sometime I'll have to let him go, whether it be for the hug, or someone else that he's attracted to, or... God forbid, death.

The next thing I knew Michael was scattering kisses everywhere accessible to him. I felt my heart lift a bit and I blushed, enjoying the tickling feeling his lips made on my skin.

When he pulled away for a moment, he instantly pressed his lips against mine. I pressed mine against his in less than a heartbeat, feeling my heart swell at the feeling.
When he pulled away again, he cupped my cheeks in his hands and held me in place. He kissed my nose gently before pressing his forehead against mine.

"Feel better?" He asked me.

I sighed and pulled away gently. Although he did make me feel a little better, I still felt the daunting feeling of darkness swell above me. It wasn't going away, even with Michael here, comforting me.

Michael noticed the change in my demeanor and frowned at me. He pulled me into another hug, lifting me up in a sitting position and resting his head near my ear.

"I love you, Gavin," He whispered lovingly, making me blush and smile again.

"I love you too, Mi-cool," I whispered back to him, nuzzling my face into his neck.

I noticed Geoff poke his head in and look at me. He took one look at us and probably made the same conclusion as me, that both of us weren't going to work.

But, I could honestly care less.

...

"Remember the time when you made up that stupid ass story on a podcast about you falling and breaking your nose. And you told the fans that it was the reason your nose was so fucked up now. And they actually believed you," Michael giggled as he recalled the animated adventure.

"That was true though," I whispered back, half asleep.

"Gavin, we all know it's not true. I've seen pictures of you when you were little and you had a fucked up nose then," Michael smirked, sitting up and kissing my cheek gently. "But, I love your nose, even if it does get in the way whenever I kiss you."

I giggled slightly and closed my eyes again. I couldn't help but let myself be happy in this moment. I was comfortable and cozy, Michael's arms were wrapped around my waist with my back facing him, and he was recounting times when I was happier.

I sighed in content and rolled over so I was facing him. His eyes were droopy and he looked just as tired as me, but he still pulled a smirk that I absolutely adored.

"You know, you're the whole reason I'm starting to get better. If you had never told me on the bridge that you loved me, I probably would've jumped without a second thought. I'm never gonna be able to make up the deed you did for me that night. But, I will spend everyday for the rest of my life thanking you for saving my life that night... And every other night after," I whispered to him.

I watched his expression change to puzzlement to grief to flattered all in a few seconds. He smiled and nodded, closing his eyes while doing so. He unwrapped his arms from around my waist and took my hands in his, kissing each hand before staring deeply into my eyes.

"And thank you Gav for saving my life."
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All the Mavin at the end... My heart can't take it.
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