tom stood in his room, staring at himself in the mirror. it had just turned 5:30, and he was barely ready for his 'meeting' with tord. he had no idea what to wear and hadn't even told matt he'd be going anywhere, either.

he came to a decision, telling himself there was no need to impress the man who drove him to the brink of suicide. tom sighed and pulled on a worn out checkered hoodie, black jeans, and some old white sneakers. he ran a hand through his hair and took a deep breath, murmuring, "you can do this."

tom gave himself an encouraging nod before grabbing his phone and putting it in his pocket. he stepped out of his room and silently shut the door, padding down the hall. he entered the dark living room, all the curtains shut and lights off. the only thing somewhat illuminating the room was the tv playing some cheesy show. matt and edd laid on the couch together, a blanket pulled over the two lovers.

"i'm going out to buy donuts." tom lied as he shuffled his way to the door, doing his best to sound genuine.

"donuts?" matt questioned. drowsiness laced his voice.

"mhm."

"be back soon, then. it'll get dark quickly." edd told him.

"i know." tom responded quietly, heart aching guiltily. they acted like such parents; he hated lying to them.

he exited the house and shut the door, a soft breeze making him shiver. he pulled his hood over his head and walked down the sidewalk towards the bridge where tord had asked him to go.

the bridge where they'd kissed for the first time.

ah, shit. is that why he chose there?

shaking the thought away, tom continued to walk. he noticed the sun was starting to go down- and quickly, too. edd was right.

time passed and tom saw the lake from afar, the bridge unmissable as well. the immense weight of the situation suddenly hit him all at once. anxiety stirred in his stomach but he managed to push most of the nausea away, yet the nagging feeling stayed. a figure was leaning on the railing of the bridge, two horns poking from its head. tom's heart sank; god, it was all too familiar.

as tom neared, tord's features became clearer and clearer. the norwegian had, well... admittedly, cleaned himself up. there was no more hints of stubble on his chin, and his normally scruffy mullet was pulled into a small pony tail. his green eyes no longer had the glazed look that gave away he was drunk or high. even his skin seemed softer. he was clad in a white t-shirt with a red windbreaker and blue jeans. it wasn't exactly something the old tord would usually wear.

tom stopped a few feet away, gaze fixed on tord. he made sure to keep a straight face with an expression that gave away nothing, despite the fact his heart was racing. "tord."

tord turned his head, eyes visibly widening. an array of different emotions crossed his face. surprise. joy. fear. regret. guilt.

"tom." he said.

"why did you want me here?" tom asked, shoving his hands in his pockets. he kept his distance and tord seemed to understand.

"because, we need to start off on a clean slate," tord explained, a melancholic look on his face. "don't you agree? we ended on a bad note-"

"i'm sorry- what?" tom narrowed his eyes.

tord blinked a couple times at the sudden interruption. "i'm, uh... i'm just.. huh?" he stammered.

"you sound like you're trying to say all of this was because of us. as if we did this to each other," tom clenched his fists and gritted his teeth. "don't pull that shit with me. i didn't do crap. you need to clear the slate, and by the way things are going, i don't think thats possible. you ended us off on a bad note. you are the reason i'm standing here right now. you did all this."

tord stared at him with wide, regretful eyes. he seemed to want to say something, but instead shut his mouth and flinched.

"i don't know why you left me that goddamn voicemail or why you wanted to meet me at this goddamn bridge," tom continued, seething. "ever since i've met you, you've fucking tortured me. i don't know what you fucking want."

tord lowered his gaze to the ground, face red with shame. when he realized tom was done ranting, he sighed. "you're right, tom. i'm- i'm sorry, you're right. but i really do want to fix things with you, and i..." he stopped.

"you what?" tom crossed his arms.

"i think that, maybe, in those moments i was sober, we had something." tord murmured.

disgust crossed tom's face. "you're-" he scoffed and shook his head. "i cannot believe you."

"tom, you said it yourself the day you visited me in rehab." tord suddenly blurted out, eyebrows furrowing. the words came tumbling out and he couldn't seem to stop. "you said you loved the sober me, and look, now i'm sober. can't i get a chance? i'm clean now, and believe me, i know i fucked up terribly. i know what i did and not a day goes by without me regretting it. yet, i think i deserve a small chance. just one. you told me you loved the sober me and i know you remember saying that, tom. i fucking miss you."

tom stared at him, shocked. he searched for something to retort with but knew that in some fucked up way, tord was right. "...alright." he dropped his gaze to the ground. "maybe i will give you a chance. one only."

tord's eyes immediately lit up. "seriously?"

"i've still gotta think about it," tom was quick to snap, glaring at the taller male. "so don't push your luck. you're lucky enough that i kept your number, and i don't even know- never mind." he sighed stressfully. "i've gotta go home now."

"thank you, tom." tord breathed out in relief.

"..you're not still friends with amy, are you?"

"no, not really. i just saw her the other day, actually. she-"

"i didn't ask."

"...right."

"goodbye, tord." tom mumbled solemnly. he turned on his heel and walked back towards his house, thoughts racing over the events that just occurred.

when tom got home, it was about 6:58. he walked inside and saw the kitchen light on. edd was sitting at the table planning stuff for the wedding and matt was asleep on the couch.

"hey." tom greeted quietly, limply raising his hand in a half-assed wave.

edd looked up from his work to look at tom. "hey," he said. his expression turned to one of confusion. "where are the donuts?"

oh shit. tom felt his heart stop. how had he forgotten!? "i, uh- the shop was closed, so i got a coffee for myself but i- yeah, i finished it on the way back." he lied quickly.

"they were closed? really?" edd frowned.

"yeah, i dunno why." tom bounced on the heels of his feet, avoiding edd's gaze. "i'm gonna go to my room now." he swiftly scurried down the hall and locked himself in his room.