ME : (-shocked-) WHAT?

DAD : Yes, I was shocked to find out as well.

ME : But, how's this possible?? (-looking at Ji hae-) This isn't true, right?

JI HAE : (-looking down-) It is. I didn't know about it. I only found out after my stomach started to show up.

ME : Are you kidding me? Nothing ever happened between us!

She started crying out of nowhere making me even more flustered than I already was.

DAD : You remember that night when you drank alot?

ME : Ye-Yes, but how is that connected?

My head was completely blank, nothing pieced together to bring me to realization they were presenting as the truth.

Mr.JEONG : That night, you called her to your farm house.

ME : What?!

I finally did recall something. I remember waking up in the farm house, indeed. But, none of those faint and blurry images contain Ji Hae in them.

JI HAE : You were uncontrollable that night. (-sniffing-) But, in the morning, I had no guts to face you, so I left before you woke up.

More than the sheer absurdity of the situation, I was rather increasingly upset and disappointed with myself. Although, I knew deep down I could never have done that to anyone. I was surprisingly unable to defend myself either. For how blatantly empty my memory was of that night.

ME : I don't even remember a thing. I could never.. I-I.. Did I?

While I mumbled through the contemplation and doubts, Dad placed his hand over shoulder to command more clarity. As if trying to force the apparent truth onto me.

DAD : You were totally wasted that night, Taehyung. I know it must be hard to accept after all that you have been going through lately. But, you have to be man and get yourself together.

His eyes had a peculiar predominance, a kind of authority he swayed over me. It was so hypnotic. Or my conscience was just too weak to defend against him, then.

My voice from there dropped the annoyance. I couldn't form better sentences.

ME : (-looking at Ji hae-) Why didn't you tell me before?

JI HAE : I was scared. (-sniffing-)

Mr.JEONG : She was even going to raise him alone. Thanks to my business tour that I flew to Canada and found out about this.

I remained silent, helplessly cursing at myself. The fact that I cheated on Jae Ra seemed heavier than realising that I might have to father a child I didn't know existed seconds ago.

Mr.JEONG : It's your child. You must take full responsibility for him and my daughter.

Although, I was conflicted in all my bones. My head cramped with thousands of questions, some more of doubts, I still had one last moment of hesitance.

My father, as if could read my mind, sounded my thoughts.

DAD : For your surety and peace of mind, run a DNA test. I am sure Ji Hae wouldn't mind clearing it out. 

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Bts Dorm

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I had called everyone to gather around the hall. We were all seated with a pin-drop silence after I took them to the whole nine yards of the situation.

YG : What are you going to do if the results are positive?

ME : I don't know. (-looking down, tensed-)

The tension was tight. I could feel the hyungs were looking for the proper way to place their opinions and concerns.

Jin Hyung, then, initiated.

J : If it's yours, I think you should take its responsibility. You can't just leave him. You are his father.

I was so prepared to be the father of my child that Jae Ra was carrying. I was so sure with her. But, it wasn't the same anymore. I hated that I couldn't even nod my head in resonance with Jin Hyung.

NJ : Taehyung-ah, I may sound rude, but it's for the good. You should try to move on. I mean, we all miss Jae Ra. But, even she would be wanting you to be happy again.

They were saying all the right things, yet I desperately wished they said something different. Something more aligned to my dilemma.

HS : He is right. We are not asking you to forget her. But,what our actual point is that, you remember her as your most beautiful memory, and continue to live happily. Now, you have a reason too. Your son.

Jimin, was right next to me on the sofa, caressed my back, as he continued their words.

JM : Hyungs are right, Tae. No matter who gave birth to him, at the end of the day, he is your son, right?

I listened to them silently looking down at the floor as I remembered the incident where Kimchi had me promise not to drink. The promise which I couldn't keep, and was currently regretting the consequences. Oh, how I wished I kept my words.

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JAE RA : Oppa, promise me you won't drink. (-giving her hand-)

ME : Come here~ (-opening my arms-)

I wanted to hug her badly as I have had it, in these days of her silent treatment.

JAE RA : (-shaking head-) No! First, promise me!

ME : Okay. I promise, I will never drink again. I promise you. Please~ my arms are falling off.

Flashing her sweetest smile, she rushed to me with her little run. She hugged me resting her face on my chest, and I hugged her back tightly. Caressing her head with my eyes closed, I just lived the moment.

JAE RA : Thank you, Oppa.

ME : I am sorry, and anything for you, Kimchi. (-kissing her head-) Just don't be upset with me.

She chuckled cutely and nodded an acceptance.

-Present time-

An unconscious chuckle crackled up my lips, with tears flooding my eyes. I was lost in the maze of that little memory that I wanted to continue living but alas, it was short lived.

How I wished I could re-live every second, every moment I spent with her. Only to realize it was all a fantasy now. 

I was snapped back when Jungkook entered the space, and joined us.

JK : Taehyung Hyung! (-forwarding me an envelop-) Your driver just handed me these outside.

Jimin passed them over to me from Jungkook.

JM : Go for it.

I opened it holding my breath and a sigh left my mouth, as the paternity results were positive. It was my son. A perfect dna match. I couldn't have been more ecstasic and disappointed at the same time.

I seriously pondered over everyone's words for a moment if I was truly ready to accept their advices. If I would be able to strive through my life without Kimchi; I couldn't get any clear answers from within. 

At night, Jimin and Jungkook insisted to come along to see my son, for the first time.

We went inside the room and found the little one was awake. My mom was playing with him while Ji hae was sleeping on the bed.

Jimin and Jungkook went to them with a wide smile while I was still hesitant to follow them. I was rooted by the door.

JM : Omo! Wahh, he is so cutee~ Taehyungie! (-looking at me-) Come here. Look at him.

He gently caressed the baby's cheeks with his index finger. 

Before I realized, my legs involuntarily walked me towards them.

As I carefully took the small and delicate figure in my embrace, his innocent smile and sparkling eyes, staring at me got my inner mesmerized. That purity in his soft expressions mysteriously reminded me of Kimchi as he wrapped his tiny fingers around one of mine.

The warmth I received from the gentle contact of our skin melted my heart. It pulled out the most genuine smiles on my face. It was natural. I didn't have to force any muscle.

ME : (-in fascination-) Look at you. How precious you are! (-placing a gentle kiss on his forehead-) I am sorry, I am late. But, I will try to be the best Dad to you.

He brought a smile on my face after such a long time that I never thought I would be having back. He was almost like the one perfect medicine that caressed a healing to my heart.

MOM : (-admiring him-) He resembles Jae Ra so much. (-nostalgic smile-)

I smiled wider at her words, to know that it wasn't only me seeing her resemblance in that exquisite little being.

About a few moments later, my dad and Mr. Jeong entered the room meanwhile Ji hae woke up at the noise.

JK : (-poking his little nose-) Hyung, what are you gonna name him?

I thought for a while and decided to name him after Kimchi.

ME : Kim. Jae. Hyung. (-smiles-)

Mr.JEONG : (-happy-) I like it. That's a nice name.

DAD : (-politely-) I agree, it has weight in it.

It was as if ebullience blossomed in my garden after a long time with him being the little ray of sunshine in it.
Jungkook, not missing any chance to make the mood happier, started to give background music.

JK : (-sings softly-) You're the cause of my euphoria.

Everyone chuckled at him with Jae hyung smiling to receive such great attention from us.

In a couple of months, Ji hae and I had a court marriage. Dad made it official, that we had been married since over a year. This was supposed to have been for Jae Ra. But, it seemed like she has been replaced from every frame in my life.

Now, everyone knew that Ji hae was my wife and Jae hyung, our son. But, I considered her nothing more than the woman who gave birth to Jae hyung. I could never accept her as my wife.

My son meant the world to me. He always had me live in the moment with him. He carried the same smile, the same habits, and the same innocence Kimchi did.

I never felt her absense in my days even without her physical presence. It was like she was with me through Jaehyung.

Slowly, time began to run at its normal pace with him growing older and healthier. He never ceased to make me happy ever since, and became — my everything.

With him, seconds transpired in beautiful moments spent, and days spelled the blooming spring.
I gradually busied myself with our albums but was heedful of the quality time I must spare for Jaehyung at home.

In a few blinks or in hours which felt eternal at times, we lapsed a sum of three years without Kimchi. I couldn't believe that was even possible for me, but Jae Hyung turned that into reality.

However, somewhere, I still saw myself stuck behind. My body was in the present but my heart and soul was still tied in the past, unable to make peace with Kimchi's sudden demise. Her constant absence in my life.

Immersed in the leaden ocean of my mind where I liked to spend time in– with Kimchi's memories– I was snapped back as the Van stopped in front of a workshop.

A workshop in . . .

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