°°°

"One night only. The one under whose sky I could reveal my all without searching for a cover to put over myself. Instead, you embraced me. It won't be repeated."

°°°

Warmth on Baekhyun's hand was still lingering all over his skin, even after Chanyeol withdrew his own and put it in his pocket.
Some touches are like that. They travel all over the skin, then crawl under it until they find a place to stay as a reminder of how nice it felt, how it shook all the senses and how skin against skin was like putting two puzzle pieces together.

They burn and tighten after every new following touch, they do the same like the first time but with different intetisity. Because it's never the same, no matter how strong the first touch was, or even the one that comes after.

Awakened feelings are there, was it due to the fact the skin misses other certain one or because two surfaces connected again - it mattered. Because once the special touch happens, nerves become almost insensitive for any other caused by someone different than the first person.

Baekhyun, however, wasn't sure he had experienced something like that.

As the walk prolonged, his cheeks dried and tears stopped falling. It was unexpected that he wasn't ashamed of crying like a baby that night. He seek for a comfort and he received it back then. For the first time, he thought that there was nothing embarrassing about it.

"Are you cold?" Chanyeol questioned after a while, without glancing at person beside him. Sky was better to look at, even though it missed half of the stars that were supposed to be up there.

"Why do you ask? You'd give me your jacket if I am? No." Baekhyun kicked a stone that was close to his feet, on the stony road that stretched through the park. Twisting the question was much easier than answering. He didn't know was he cold or not or would he accept that jacket or throw it back to its owner.

Even if it was cold, additional piece of cloth would do nothing anyways.

Talled chuckled dryly. "Not at all. I'd just stick closer to you. Even if it's the beginning of Winter or late Spring, I have Summer with myself."

"It was a wise person who told you that," Baekhyun threw back sarcastically. What kind of poor romance were those words? He felt like throwing up at the image.

"What makes you think I'm told that by someone?"

"It's on other people to decide the temperature you give off. I guess you were pretty pleased by the statement and you were glad to repeat it." Baekhyun shrugged and didn't know why he felt cold out of sudden. Shirt he wore was thinner than it was several seconds ago. Even Chanyeol's mentioned jacket wouldn't make up for it, obviously. He rubbed his arms and tilted his head to opposite direction, fastening his steps a little bit. It all didn't pass without Chanyeol's notice. He smiled to himself but said nothing.

"You're such a wise person, Baek." With another small chuckle, Chanyeol was quick to match his pace. He took other's hand once again, more tightly than before, repeating all the messed up feelings in Baekhyun that once fell asleep. His eyes fell closed for a second, to drink in all the sensations, but second lasted even less than that.
The hand that held his pulled him away from the stony road, across the yellowish grass, which made him widen his eyes in surprise.

"What's with that look?" Chanyeol asked smugly when he turned his head to face the other.

"Nothing," Baekhyun fixed his expression, "Keep going."

"Always with you," Chanyeol's response was unheard by Baekhyun and he didn't mind to repeat despite it. It was better like that and for a moment, he cursed his careless tongue for even letting it slip over.

Wide park enlightened by several street lights was left behind their backs. They found themselves beside a small convenience store, where empty boxes of various products were piled. Most of them at one place, others scattered around and some of them ripped and dirty. Muddy footprints were left there and cartoon turned to be thinner than it originally was.
Baekhyun eyed carefully, because, honestly, he had nothing better to do. He was helped by the yellowish light of a small lightbulb on the wall of the building beside them. He tried not to pay attention to a huge hand that held his firmly, but as soon as the touch flew away, he had to tilt his head to the other male. He made it cautious and other male didn't look at him at all which he was thankful for.

He took off his jacket and before Baekhyun could complain about how he doesn't need it, Chanyeol put it over the concrete which had the height of the usual chair, in a level with the park behind them. Baekhyun was already on the ground lower than the mentioned height, and soon enough Chanyeol joined him by bouncing down.

"Sit on it, your butt will freeze otherwise," he said.

Baekhyun obeyed without any word spoken. His sight was focused straight, on the narrow street before them, enlightened by nothing but orange lights peeking behind the curtains of middle-sized houses. Some houses were hidden behind high black or white fences so the street itself was pretty dark. Several street lights were dead, and others who shined brightly were lined down the narrow road, but Chanyeol didn't mind exploring to that point and Baekhyun followed even though he'd like to be in a brighter place.

They remained sitting silently in the dark, on Chanyeol's jacket, their arms and legs brushing against each other despite the fact the owner's butt took less than half of the piece of the cloth. They eyes were fixated on the same point in front of them as they listened to muffled sound of vehicles passing in the bigger street which couldn't be fitted in their views. Loud teenagers making noise in the background or drunk men shouting nonsense in the park still further that it really was. Birds' melodious language coming from the high trees above their heads. None of that bothered them. Sunk in that kind of silence, where they chose what's the loudest, was pleasing. Baekhyun's breathing was ragged and shallow, Chanyeol's heartbeat wasn't different from what Baekhyun heard in the club. Maybe, that's how his heart is supposed to beat.

Even if it's strange, small narrow street was more than enough for two overly complicated souls to fit in. After all, they dig and fill each other's holes and little by little get to know each other better, which makes more space even if they were framed in much smaller place that the said street.

It was a faraway thought, though.

At that moment, the certain place and the tiny connection they had was enough. Each new moment will require more, but it always goes one step at time with its balanced length. They weren't that good at measuring steps, but as long as they don't turn backwards - it's fine. Baekhyun's sure.

Although he is the one who surely knows less, he was a little bit satisfied with that. Chanyeol required patience and he would grant it. Just like he was used to.

They both were aware that night was special.

A deep squeal from Baekhyun's right made him jump in surprise and follow Chanyeol with his eyes widened and a palm on his chest. He thought he has gone deaf. The following scene might be worth it.

Taller man was already across the street with a white, a little bit dirty, kitten in his huge palms. It was tiny - fitting in two large hands of his so well. A wide grin that spread across his face was radiant, making other guy smile instantly as well. A little bit secretly, hiding it as if it was a shame to smile like that. It was bright, like a lonely star peeking through the gap of the curtain to his dark room, but no matter how small it was, it was still visible, still warm.

Baekhyun sat down on the jacket again and silently admired a soft view before him. Chanyeol turned into an innocent child with a never slipping smile and a cute eye twitch. With huge hands treasuring small creature protectively and mumbling too quiet words to be understood by a person sitting several meters away from him. With a pair of eyes looking at him as purely as never before, Chanyeol knew Baekhyun isn't the only one to reveal a part of himself that night, even though it was only under the sky halfway filled with stars and a yellowish light spreading through the street. Nothing more is needed.

"It's so adorable, isn't it, Baekhyun?" Chanyeol asked as soon as he sat down beside the other and put a kitten on his lap. Baekhyun lifted his hands awkwardly and eyed the other. He calling his name was still a rarity and he couldn't help but feel something weird fluttering in the pit of his stomach. He tried to shake it off and shift his entire attention to a little animal on his lap.
He couldn't remember the last time he was giving his time to a pet. He still found them adorable and cute and all, but he tried not to create a bond with any of them. They leave too early and he wasn't sure was the satisfaction of spending time with them worth all the pain once he is left alone just at the moment the bond seemed to be unbreakable.

Baekhyun hates farewells, especially the ones never told. He hates seconds wasted and the ones that should've come earlier. Happiness was temporary and forever too empty to be graspable by his hands. That's why bonds weren't his thing. Rather, he wouldn't even create one than watch a supposedly strong bond fall apart right before his eyes. With anyone or anything, bonds were just too painful because departures were unavoidable.

"Come on, why are you afraid to touch it?"

"I might hurt it."

"Take the risk."

"Do you always take risks, Chanyeol?"

A long pause stretched through the air. Chanyeol caressed the kitten gently and lowered his sight on it. He wasn't sure what he was supposed to answer.

"Do you, Chanyeol? Even though there is a huge chance you might hurt someone, do you take risks?"

"I don't know," he replied, "there are risks I should've never taken, but on the other side, there are great chances I've missed for nothing. I guess I take risks cautiously although pain is waiting somewhere underneath. And the pain can shoot anyone."

They went much further from the simple talk about the kitten, but they didn't mind. Playful and smiley, Chanyeol is the one who tells words with depth Baekhyun might drown in if he isn't careful enough. But he is, and it makes a good imperfect match.

He leaned his hand on the soft fur and stroked it fondly, gingerly, with older's words floating in his mind. The feeling of sweet sensations piercing his skin lingered there for a great amount of time, but soon enough sweetness turned into something nameless as Chanyeol's hand joined and made contact with his. The touch was slowly crawling to be beautifully familiar.

"See, the kitten enjoys it." Older grinned as a fluffy ball turned on its back and offered its tummy to be stroked. Both males obliged and with quiet sounds of effeminacy locked their gazes for a second.

"Would that enjoyment turn into pain once I stop caressing it and let it go?"

It didn't take Chanyeol to think that much about the answer, like he was waiting for a long time to release following words.

"If your importance it that big to that someone, it would, but if you're nothing more than a passer-by who pauses for a while to give it attention, it's different. Passers-by are always there, but when it comes to a moment none comes anymore, your importance might grow or fall, depending on how affectionate you were compared to others.
If it falls to the point you're forgotten altogether with your actions you put so much effort into, the pain shoots you. You get pained even though you didn't want to hurt anyone." He paused, letting his words sink into Baekhyun's ears. Depth of his words grew more and Baekhyun did his best to keep his head above the surface despite already lacking air and the very bottom for his feet to lay onto. But he kept fighting anyways, because, after all, they still make that good imperfect match.

Someone equally or even more complicated than him was needed in his life. To remind him that there could be worse and to remind him it's fine as well. He needed Chanyeol.

"You see, Baekhyun, life is unpredictable. You choose whether you're brave enough in front of it or not. Your smallest risk might be enormous to someone else. But that's fine. We all are different."

Everyone knew funny and interesting Chanyeol, they knew him passionate and dedicated, they knew his moody moments, but him offering depths of his heart wasn't what everyone witnessed. Baekhyun, though, was gifted with that more than anyone else. It escalated quickly, from times of ignoring one another to late night's deep confessions. But there is no one suitable to judge their pace, their chosen paths and barriers they decided to climb over or leave for another occasion. It was just them, and no matter how Baekhyun wants to present himself, he knows his heart has softened a tiny bit for Chanyeol.

"Did a risk you now regret taking leave a really big impact on you, Chanyeol?" Smaller questioned while caressing soft pink paws gently, but keeping his eye on the other guy.

"At the moment, there is nothing I regret. Maybe, I shouldn't have done something, but even so, I do my best to understand my younger self who was guilty in that case," he explained, "And yes, there are things that left huge impact on me. There are things I blame myself for, but... Back then, I thought it was the best thing to do." As if he was hesitant to speak any longer, he lowered his voice nearing the end of the sentence, making several last words almost inaudible.

"I see," Baekhyun nodded, without pushing Chanyeol to open up a bit more. It was secretive talk, shining a little like a single candle in the darkest night and Baekhyun didn't want to be a wind to turn it off. Chanyeol's secrets are a tall candle which burns slowly, little by little. Baekhyun's aware that the light might disappear anytime with him, but also hopes he'd stare at the tiny flame nonetheless. Just like him, Park Chanyeol is a masked person, and even if his hidden dark flames underneath are too hot and dangerous, he wishes he might embrace them without getting unbearable burns. He is able to bear with many things and unbearable is something extreme.

Every new spent second with Chanyeol requires one more and it was fine as long as the next one isn't the last. A person who doesn't like nor believe in forever, Baekhyun chuckles at his own silly thought.

"It sounds amusing."

"Huh?" Baekhyun came back to reality and met other gently looking at him, still, with those dormant eyes of his, almost covered with soft curls of his black hair, matching the color of the scenery somewhere deep deep down soaked in the night.

"Your chuckle," he voiced out, "It's pure. It seemed like you doubted your own thought, though. However, for a second, I heard a hopeful child."

"Oh," smaller nodded with a smile Chanyeol wasn't able to catch due to recalling his own words and wondering if they were meant to be uttered then. "I was thinking about forever. What do you think about it?"

"An empty word," he replies immediately and Baekhyun was left a bit taken aback because it was exactly how he would answer. But, the continuation that came after made him realize Chanyeol has belief in such things, unlike him who has lost almost everything to believe in.

"An empty word until you find someone you want to have that forever with. Then, it becomes something you want to fill with touches of that very someone, with a beautiful voice, soft smiles and loud laughs, sweet whispers and everyday kisses. Once you find that someone, forever turns into more than an empty word. Memorable moments thread into long chains and no matter how many moments are behind or ahead, you want more of them."

It was funny how Chanyeol has seen all of that. From the angle Baekhyun didn't know that existed. Now, he knows it does, but he also knows he is far from able to bend his sight that way. It was nice listening to someone, interesting even, but him repeating those words while meaning them, was unthinkable.

"Your words are based on the wish to have forever, but it still doesn't exist." Baekhyun remarked matter-of-factly.

Chanyeol laughs dryly and looks up to the sky. Breeze swayed his bangs covering his view a little. He came with his hand through his hair and made it messy, pointing various directions and forming silly shapes. He let it that way, let it be positioned how the wind wants it.

"I my sound like a romantic right now, but I do believe in forever.
To me, it isn't equal to everyone. You and I don't have it the same. But if you and I want it together, our forever lasts as long as our wish shines brightly. Even if one of us leaves, the one who remains trapped in the time bordered with a thing named end, should keep that wish of ours bright, until that very end."

"But, Chanyeol, you just said you believe in forever but it still has its ending?" Baekhyun questioned, trying to completely ignore the restless bounce of his heart in his ribcage. Was it because Chanyeol used them as examples or the deep talk itself, he didn't know, but he clutched onto his shirt above his heart anyways, until his knuckles turned white.

"But I also believe that there comes something else even after that ending. It goes against my limited knowledge that end is really the end, and I want to believe there is more after that. I want to believe in endless, despite everything." Chanyeol explained without looking away from the sky. Even more, he stretched his arm up to the huge width and smiled.

"Baekhyun, you see the cloud covering the sky, but even so, you still believe there is at least one star shining behind, right?"

"I know there is the star behind and there is a difference. I don't believe it might shine for me, though." The last sentence turned into a whisper. The clutch on his shirt tightened even more and gradually, he started trembling.

"I see." Chanyeol looked back at Baekhyun and smiled warmer than he did when he faced the sky he adored so much.

"By the way, why are you so eager for forever?" Smaller moved his head away and stared into opposite direction, trying to control unwanted tiny movements of his body, unwanted sudden shake and his teeth that were nibbing onto his lips.

"Because there is a lot of time I have wasted for nothing, Baek." When he uttered that, a beautiful smile easily slipped from his face and turned his expression into colorless one. A painter like Baekhyun would do his best to fix that, but sadly, he wasn't the one who witnessed that tempting view.

"And then, you say you regret nothing." Baekhyun kept the thought to himself and gave a nod in understandment instead.

"I... I" I hope you'll find your desired forever someday. "I'm kind of thirsty right now..." He mumbled the first thing that came to his mind and released the kitten from his lap. It didn't run away, though, and caressed itself against Baekhyun's leg instead, seeking for more warmth radiating from him.

"I'll see if there is any opened store around then," Chanyeol stood up and removed invisible dust from the back of his pants. Smaller nodded once again and watched other disappear down the street in the dark. Before the last trace of Chanyeol's disappeared, a wish for him to come back quickly sparkled in Baekhyun's chest. His presence that night turned all the possible seconds of loneliness into a terrifying imagination. He didn't want to be alone anymore.

Again, he picked up the kitten from the ground and hugged it closer to his chests. It was quietly purring against his shirt, enjoying the warmth and the softness of man's embrace.

"Why does he turn me this way, hm? Do you know?" He whispered softly.

"More than a month passed from the moment he talked to me for the first time, but after this late night talk, years of him ignoring me seem too far away. Is it the sign of weakness to let him do this to me?" With Chanyeol, Baekhyun is digging deep down to his own core. It feels weird, almost unfamiliar, but he can't put the barrier in between does it feel wrong or right. Chanyeol, out of all the people he is close with, is ripping off fake layers from his skin. Baekhyun doesn't budge or complain, because when he does, it goes worse. So, he stays still, at least, for that one night only.

No one has ever offered him a night like that, and even less, gave him it whole-heartedly.
Stars that aren't there left Chanyeol more space to fill in the way he wants. To leave his own shining things hooked on the clouds for Baekhyun to look at and be illuminated with, because, he isn't able to grab any. No yet.

In the morning, he promises, everything'll be different. Chanyeol will turn into a person he is in front of everyone and Baekhyun's mask will be firmly glued on his face again.

Chanyeol, who is slowly revealing Baekhyun and revealing himself as well, will turn into who people are used to as soon as the step of someone else lands on the thin line surrounding just two of them.

That's why, he'll let the burdens out that night, without shame or embarrassment. Because, even of it's untold, Baekhyun's patience required Chanyeol's silence and both of them were somehow sure the other wouldn't break the word.

Baekhyun felt coldness crawling up his skin and making him shiver and his toes curl in his shoes. Going deeper in the night brought chilly weather altogether, and the person who kept Summer in hands wasn't around. Baekhyun laughed at his own thought and shook his head in disbelief. For a person who has coconut scent caught at every inch of his existence, Chanyeol didn't provide that much warmth to Baekhyun to make him believe in his recent silly statement of having Summer with himself.

"Thank you kitten," he said and pecked its head, "but I think my fear and loneliness are stronger than they used to be. I'm sorry." Instead of the peck, that time, a salty tear fell on the kitten and made it look at Baekhyun with eyes wide and sparkly, as if telling him he shouldn't cry anymore. But Baekhyun reached the point he can't control it any longer. He released the kitten from his hold.

When Chanyeol appeared in front of him and eyed him who had his head lowered down and tears wetting his lap, he doubted the action he was eager for will be judged. At least, not that night.

"Here's the beer-" Chanyeol's playful tone turned mute when he felt thin arms enveloping his torso as strongly as never before. Plastic bags containing cans of strawberry and peach juice, chocolate bars and peanut popcorn fell on the ground joining ripped cartoon boxes. His arms didn't waste any second to wrap themselves around smaller's body, as if they were taught to do that.
He felt his tremble he tried to ignore fourteen minutes and six seconds ago, he heard cries and knew he is willing to embrace every single falling piece of a fragile boy in between his arms.

"Stop the shit talk. I know you would never buy that for me, Chanyeol!" Smaller screamed out on top od his lungs. He tightened the hold and whimpered like a child. "I know you know and I'm not going to ask how, because I decided to wait for you."

Of course he could get it.

"Thank you," whisper as soft as the rose petal came into Baekhyun's ears and made him relax his tensed muscles a little bit. But it wasn't enough.
His hands ran up other's back and finally grabbed tightly onto the fabric of the cotton shirt and pulled Chanyeol closer. Gaps in between their bodies turned nonexistent - no space was available for a piece of dust even.

"Just stay here a little bit more, please. Please." Even if he didn't beg, Chanyeol wouldn't go away.

"I'm here," he reassured, "and I'll be every time you reach for me sincerely enough, Baekhyun. Now, go on, let it all out."

And Baekhyun did.

Cries and screams became the loudest ones he has ever released. He trembles like a hysterical child whose insides were raw long time ago. He shakes and wets Chanyeol's shirt while heavy water drops fall down his thick lashes. Words he says are difficult to be understood - his throat is sore and self-awareness of the limit he shouldn't cross kept him like that. Chanyeol didn't have to know everything just yet.

He was about to stretch his hand to the pain to grab it, but Chanyeol never let it happen. Soft kisses were left in the nest of Baekhyun's hair, warm and long ones, speaking things that weren't able to find meaning in any language. But things are better felt that understood. One more kiss like that and strong arms pulling fragile figure closer were needed for Baekhyun to fall silent and relax in the cozy place that he seemed to fit in so well. Catching his breath and burying his head deeper in other chests, he finally feels composed.

He smiles softly and although none saw that, it was what dark corners of his soul feared of. Blinding light of Baekhyun's smile lightened his entire self - even temporary and there just when framed with someone who used to bring black cloud to Baekhyun's sky, it was pleasurable.

Chanyeol used to bring one cloud to the rest of many of them, other problems brought thunders and rain as well, but at the moment, Chanyeol's keeping him away from everything, protected.

Protected from the absolute darkness, Baekhyun knows, even if it's untold, that Chanyeol wouldn't accept his thankfulness that easily. At least, not until Baekhyun finds his pure light himself. So, he stayed silent.

Demons that used to laugh at Baekhyun, make him vulnerable to the point he breaks down at the simplest gesture he finds too much, are stuck somewhere behind his back, crying desperately in their own misery. Every attack would be useless because Chanyeol's arms were tougher shield than any possible weapon they could use.

In that one night only.

When they parted and looked at each other, Baekhyun knew he was minutes late to say some words which made him a little bit anxious. But when Chanyeol's hands landed on his cheeks and his thumbs caressed prevously wet now dried spots under his puffy eyes, he knew it was the right time.

"Happy birthday, Chanyeol." Six minutes and fourteen seconds past midnight.

Chanyeol smiled brightly.

"I'm sorry you had those minutes spent like this, though."

"You mean to apologize for making me feel like a hero, really?" He laughed and Baekhyun played along despite knowing mentioned wasn't Chanyeol's intention.

"Thank you, Baekhyun," he said, "I don't know were you even about to give me a present, but I received it nevertheless."

"What was that?" Smaller asked curiously. "Did we let a tiny drop of color fall on our rose or?"

"No," Chanyeol shook his head slightly, "we made it grow a little bit more."

•••

[090718]

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When I had this chapter in mind, I thought I'll need more scenes to make it lengthy aside from their talk, but it ended up being the longest chapter so far. I'm sorry. 😅

The story is pretty heavy and I need a lot, I mean a lot, of time to finish the chapter. I'm sorry it's pretty tiresome to read it after such a long time of no updates. But, to be honest, I want to give my best with this story so I take my time and think a lot about everything.

Thanks for bearing with me. 😅

Listen to Taeyeon's song in the media, it's beautiful. 😍

Your Last Wish🌹⛅