"I felt all of the hatred was too powerful to stop."

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People say long distance relationships are hard. But I had never quite believed it until it was almost a year that you were gone. Insecurities had got the better of me, making me paranoid every single time you didn't reply to me instantly. Whenever you called me, your voice filled me with relief, each and every sentence you spoke being that cold wind one would desperately need in a hot summer day.

You would narrate how much fun you had with your new friends there, all things you had done since morning and experience of your new job. After you, I would narrate mine but make it seem such that I did not feel as empty as ever, so that it you wouldn't be worried. Every time before ending our conversation for the day, you would tell me how much you missed me, your words making my heart break every single time you spoke them.

Was I holding you back from enjoying yourself? You had changed a bit since you were gone, and I really missed the older version of you which would be cheerful and optimistic in any situation. Was I the reason of this change? Is it the distance between us interfering you to explore new things by being worried that it may harm our relationship? Questions ran through my head, every minute passing making me feel even more guilty of holding you back like this. At one point it was too much, pulling me apart from within and making me hate myself.

That day, I realized that I would have to let you go, even if it would break my heart forever.

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