A few months passed, and Kai Yin's new favorite pastime was now to go to Peony Palace. Once he brought Shui Lian out despite the rain just to see him annoyed and bark insults at him. Simply put, they were now good friends.

Tonight as they circled outside of Peony Palace Kai Yin talked about his mundane life.

"My younger brother will be joining us in hunting. I'm very advanced, in fact. Last few times we got pheasants and hares, but recently it's colder. But doesn't it feel nice, too? You always like your room window open, don't you?"

"Yes."

"I also keep my window open nowadays. It's stifling in the inner court rooms, my room doesn't get as much wind as yours."

Kai Yin liked talking with Shui Lian, and for the first time Kai Yin heard himself rambling about himself. He usually kept quiet, scared of revealing anything that could be used as a method to assassinate or even ruin his reputation.

"Why do you like coming outside so much?" Shui Lian asked instead.

"Oh!" Kai Yin grinned. "You finally asked me a question."

"Now answer it."

"Well, princes don't have a lot of freedom, I usually have a guard with me unless I go to the brothel. I went there to enjoy talking to girls, but with you I couldn't."

"I apologize deeply for not being a good enough converser, Prince Kai Yin," Shui Lian said, too sincere to be true. He was good at being sarcastic in a way people couldn't argue back.

"Don't you like walking outside?" Kai Yin asked. "In this moment, we are free. Yes, we will have to return to the boring humdrum of our lives again, but the few moments I talk to you, Kai Yin to Shui Lian, no titles, I feel relaxed."

"If I had to assassinate you it would be very easy, my lord. Perhaps you ought to choose people to go on walks more wisely." Shui Lian looked back down.

Kai Yin surveyed him for a moment.

"Shui Lian, look up."

"Pardon me?"

"Look at the stars. The moon," Kai Yin said. Truth was, he wanted to see Shui Lian's face.

"What if I wanted to look at the flowers at my feet?" Shui Lian retorted. "Leave me alone."

"You'll miss the beautiful view!"

"And you'll step on poor flowers with that mentality!"

"What kind of mentality?" Kai Yin asked innocently. Shui Lian's voice became hard.

"Reaching for something you can never have."

Kai Yin fell silent. He was always irked but whenever Shui Lian called him idealistic or said something about his viewpoint it made him angry—not at Shui Lian, though. It made Kai Yin angry at something bigger, a whole scheme he couldn't change, and he wanted to punch a tree.

He was angry that Shui Lian had lived such a life that he could no longer enjoy anything in life, and believed in the worst.

"Is there anything that makes you happy?"

"Rumor is that Peony Palace had a beautiful garden, naturally, but they had no gardener. The beauty of the women made flowers naturally grow here." Shui Lian's voice was dreamy, somewhat childlike.

"And do you believe it?"

"No, because I've seen gardeners as well as servants in the garden. They tend to the flowers carefully come spring."

"How unfortunate. It'll be winter soon, and I'll be—I'll be off to battle."

The words made Shui Lian halt.

"I apologize—I didn't hear what you said," Shui Lian trailed off, and his gaze was level with his, but his eyes were wide with a sort of—fear?

"Oh," Kai Yin said dully, "I'll be off in battle with the Crown Prince to invade the port village Lu."

They heard crickets, even though it was already autumn, and the palace that was usually beautiful suddenly seemed wide and vast in the dark. There was probably a forty minute walk from Peony Palace to the Inner Court, as they were considered the outside brothel.

The moon was a crescent and Kai Yin's favorite shape, but tonight he couldn't look at it, he only looked at Shui Lian until Kai Yin broke eye contact.

"It'll be a quick battle, they say it'll only take four or six months. I'll be on the cavalry sector and safe, we shoot arrows from horses instead of running on foot."

Kai Yin didn't know why he was even speaking so much.

"I'll see you again, I won't die," he assured quickly.

"Will people in Lu die?"

The realization Shui Lian might not be worrying for him hit Kai Yin hard, and he'd be lying if he said he wasn't hurt.

"Yes. I'm sorry."

Shui Lian had turned, and without replying, he walked back towards Peony Palace.

"Damn it!" Kai Yin cursed, and then finally hesitating, he ran forward.

Shui Lian heard his footsteps and began to run too, holding back tears, but it wasn't long when Kai Yin caught him.

"Stop!" Shui Lian wiggled to be released. "I'll scream and reveal you're a homosexual Prince!"

"Then scream! Make a scene!" Kai Yin wrapped his arms firmly over Shui Lian, and smelled his long hair from his back. "Why don't you worry about me!"

"Worry about you...?" Shui Lian blinked quickly, realizing his tears were falling, and he didn't want Kai Yin of all people to see. He moved his hands to wipe his tears but Kai Yin did it for him.

Why was Kai Yin so stupid? Of course Shui Lian cared about him—but he couldn't say it. The fact he was killing made Shui Lian shudder, especially times when his face reminded him of the Cruel Prince.

"...but you're not cruel..." Shui Lian whispered, sobbing.

Kai Yin hugged him.

His hug was gentler now, and although he hugged him from behind and Shui Lian couldn't see his face, he was comforted. It didn't scare him like the first few times he met men who went to brothels.

Kai Yin was younger than him, but bigger, stronger—and he'd be killing and conquering lands soon.

It was already the tenth month, too, when was "winter"? When would he leave for war?

And maybe even leave for good.

"I'm cruel, too." Kai Yin nestled himself into Shui Lian's neck. "I told myself I'd just be your friend, but now that I have to leave, I—I want you to be only mine."

"You idiot, I'll never be approved as a concubine, I'll simply be a bed for you."

"No, no, I will make it known you are mine," Kai Yin said within tears.

Shui Lian turned around and hugged him, relinquishing in his warmth and lies. He had no future here, in the inner court, or the court in general. He was a war trophy for men to admire—that was it. His life was confined to Peony Palace.

Yet his heart beat so quickly, more than ever. He had forgotten he even had a heart. The very idea that he'd fall in love with a Prince was despicable. The princes of this kingdom had killed his family, and made most villagers slaves. He couldn't stand them!

Their blood, claimed to be descended from gods and goddesses, their pampered lives, even this—going to war so proudly. It should've been disgusting, so why?

"I want to be talk with you more. I want to know what you like, books you've read, if you like flowers." Kai Yin's voice was soft. "I'll wait. I know you aren't in the mood, and I've ruined your image of me."

Shui Lian wanted to protest, but instead they pulled apart and without replying, Shui Lian went for the only home he had left.

Peony Palace.

He ran up the stairs, still sobbing, and finally arrived at his room, making girls look at him suspiciously. They'd never saw the proud man cry, and somehow, he was enchanting with his pink rimmed eyes and faint blush.

In his bedchamber Shui Lian blew out the lights and shrugging off his robes, nestled into bed. He felt so frustrated, and the worst thing of all was how he touched himself.

He imagined Kai Yin's smiling face. Most of all, his solemn face. His sad words. He wasn't a cruel Prince, it didn't make sense!

He was the sweetest Prince Shui Lian had met.

He touched himself, and every touch felt cold, like his heart.