Chapter 45: Forgiveness
Chapter 45: Forgiveness
Romano had been avoiding me, and it was starting to piss me off. I understood why; he was ashamed of his past self's actions. That was fine, but he couldn't even stand being in the same room as me.
I sat down on the couch, Luciano and Yang by my side. We had a plan. I nodded to the two, and fell into an easy meditative stance, relaxing my body and evening out my breathing. I then allowed my Link with Yang to open fully, and I shadowed him. I was now in his body, looking at things through his eyes. I knew his icy-blue orbs now had golden flecks, but a quick glamour hid that.
All right. He's up in his room. Let's go. We walked upstairs and turned a left. We stopped at the third bedroom on the right, and knocked.
"Romano? It's Yang."
"I don't want to... talk to a bastard like you!" He sniffled, and we knew he was probably trying not to cry.
"Open up, or I pick the lock. Those are your fucking options." Yang twitched.
There was silence for a moment before we heard him shuffle to his feet and unlock the door. "Thank you." Yang stated, surprising me.
You're not normally one for manners...
Sue me! Even I can be polite sometimes!
Yang entered the room and locked the door behind him, throwing up a magical sound barrier so nobody would hear it if it escalated to yelling and fistfights.
"What the hell do you want?" Romano asked, and I got a good look at him. His eyes were so dark that it looked a midnight forest green, and there were so many conflicting emotions whirling around in them, that I couldn't even begin to name them all.
"You're being such an arrogant asshole, you know that?" Yang crossed his arms and raised a single snowy white brow. His expression said he could care less, and we both knew it would only piss off Romano—which was our plan.
"Well excuse me for trying to come to terms with the fact that I apparently betrayed my own twin brother in the worst possible way for reasons I can't understand!" He yelled, getting more furious by the minute.
"Well, it was your own fault. I mean, you didn't even believe him when he spoke because your stupid lie detector was busted. You really shouldn't rely on that so much."
"You think I have a choice?! I never learned to tell lies and truth without it!!" Romano hissed.
"Oh, so you're an asshole and stupid? That explains a lot."
"You're gettin' real close to my fist in your face, Yang. This shit all started with you, you know." Romano warned, fire licking his clenched fist.
"You think I don't know that? But here's the difference between you and me." He leaned in closely, his lips just an inch from Romano's ear. "I apologized. I owned up to what I did. You're running away, just like your brother did the First Time." He quickly jumped back, dodging the flaming fist that would've connected with his face.
"SHUT UP!" Romano yelled, absolutely furious.
"NO! I will not shut up just because you don't want to hear the truth!" Yang screamed back.
"YOU'RE A LIAR!!"
"No. The only liar here is you, you bastard!" Yang snarled. "Do you have any idea how much you're hurting Yi-Feliciano right now?!" Yang dodged another fist, barely saving his curl from the flames.
Think you could cut it any closer? I asked, sarcasm dripping heavily from my voice.
Oh, sure, let me just snip off my fucking curl first!
"What the hell would you know about Feliciano, huh?! I'm his twin! NOT YOU!" He screamed, face red.
"Oh, so you're Jealous! You're jealous of how close the two of us are. You feel threatened because I know your own other half better than you." Yang laughed, smirking as he ducked under a kick.
"Shut up! You don't know ANYTHING!!" Romano's swings were becoming wider, sloppier.
"Hate to say it, fratello, but I know him better than you do. You see, that's what happens when you spend millennia with someone constantly; especially in such a place as the Mansion." Yang said calmly, dodging another swing.
"I was there, too!"
"But you didn't remember. I did. You left him alone. I never died on him."
"Shut up, shut up, shut up!!" Yang blocked another kick, and shoved back roughly, causing Romano to stumble away.
"No, I won't shut up." Yang stood there, even as Romano's brightly burning fist went to collide with his face as he ran at Yang. "Because I care about you, and you need to hear the truth, fratello." He refused to break Romano's gaze. "Because he doesn't blame you. You say you know him, but can't you see?!" Yang yelled, tears fell from his eyes, surprising me as I felt his raw desperation for Romano to understand. "Giving into your anger now, is exactly what you did back then! He's already forgiven you!" The fist stopped inches from his face, as Romano stared at Yang in shock.
"Wh-what?"
"Feliciano forgave you a long time ago. You have to understand... It's been millennia since that happened. He's had a lot of time to come to terms with it and forgive everyone. Including you. He doesn't hate you. You haven't lost him. You've only lost yourself. You've become so blinded by your self-hatred and grief that you've neglected to realize that we're holding out our hands to you in forgiveness. That seeing you hurting yourself like this, hurts us too." Yang stressed, and Romano's flames spluttered and died out, as the tears finally fell.
"You..." He fell to his knees, and Yang was quick to catch him, carefully lowering the two of them to the hardwood floor of the bedroom. "You mean... He's... he doesn't hate me? Even after what I did?"
"No. He doesn't hate you. As Ying would say; 'one half cannot truly hate that which makes it whole.' He still sees you as his brother. And you're setting a pretty shitty example as the older twin." He smirked lightly, even as Romano finally allowed the tears to leak from his eyes.
As soon as the first tear fell, Yang wrapped him in a tight hug, and Romano sobbed. I finally retreated from Yang's mind, allowing the two some privacy. I came back to my own body, Luciano still by my side.
"How'd it go?" He asked.
"Romano's in tears, and Yang's hugging him. It makes for a very cute picture. Mission success. He's finally spent his anger, and Yang got it through his head that I've forgiven him." I chuckled lightly.
"Well, that's a relief." Flavio sighed as he plopped down next to me. "His anger was driving me up the wall! I nearly punched Kuro earlier, because it kept bleeding over to me!"
"Is that why you've got a cut on your cheek?" I asked, wincing.
"Y-yeah... he said the only reason he didn't kill me was because he knew it was my 1P's fault." Flavio sighed despondently.
I sighed as I got up and stretched. "Well... I should probably go talk to some of the others. They need to realize that I've forgiven them and I don't still hate their guts."
I found England in the kitchen—much to my internal horror. "Arthur." I said, and his head whipped up in surprise.
"F-Feli... What a surprise, did you come to help me with lunch?" He asked, trying to appear cheerful.
"Oliver doesn't look good on you, Arthur." I pointed out. "Besides, we've already eaten lunch. Dinner would be what's next."
"O-oh... Oh, dear. How unlike me." He looked down, hands shaking slightly.
"Listen, Arthur. I've already forgiven you. You realize that, yes?"
"I know... But... I have yet to fully forgive myself." He sighed as he looked down at his hands. "It's been a long time for you. But I've only just remembered... of course I haven't forgiven myself, yet."
"Perhaps... this will help." I gently pulled him into a hug. He stiffened, being the tsundere he is, but he didn't push me away. Hesitantly, he brought up his arms. Before he knew what he was doing, he balled up his fists in the fabric of my shirt as he finally sobbed. He sobbed in anger, frustration, grief, guilt, and relief. "I forgive you, Arthur Kirkland. You're my friend. Out of everyone in the Group, only Kiku is trusted more than you. The two of you are my most trusted friends." I smiled, as he sobbed harder.
Oliver walked into the kitchen, and I made a discreet shushing motion. He took in the scene with a sad smile, before backing out and putting up a sound barrier for us.
"It's such a relief..." Arthur admitted, wiping away a stray tear as he finally pulled away. "I imagine the others will feel much the same when you tell them."
"Indeed. Could you go and find Kiku for me, please? I think he was last seen in China's room." I said. "I'm going to find Germany and Prussia." I sighed.
"Oh, my. Good luck with that. They were in fairly bad shape." England patted my shoulder awkwardly, his face bright red.
"Actually, on second thought... could you speak with France for me? You two are fairly close, and I feel he'd listen to you more than me, right now. All things considered." I amended.
"True. Very well, I'll go speak to the old frog." With that, England walked off.
I heaved yet another sigh as I walked over to Prussia's room, where I knew he'd dragged his baby brother so they could talk. I knocked, and a moment later Prussia opened the door.
"I-Ita..." He startled, obviously he hadn't been expecting me.
"May I come in? I want to talk to the two of you." I said, a small smile on my face.
"Sure..." He spoke quietly; making him sound more like his 2P than the 'Awesome Prussia' he'd always claimed to be.
"What do you need?" Prussia asked, subdued, as I entered the room and locked the door behind me. It wasn't necessarily a bad habit, so I saw no reason to correct it.
"I need you two to understand... That Loop was a very long time ago for me. I've had literally several millennia to come to terms with it, and forgive you all. And I have forgiven you all." I stressed, and their eyes widened in shock.
"E-even after I... h-hit you?" Germany blinked back a couple tears, and I couldn't help but note how odd it was, to see a man I'd always viewed as strong crying.
"Yes, Germany. I forgive you. We're still friends, yeah?" I smiled, pulling him into a hug. "Hug therapy~!" I cried out, much like my old self would have. And he sobbed with relief, clinging to me like a child would a parent after a nightmare. I pulled Prussia into the hug too, and he started crying as well. Though admittedly he was a lot quieter than his brother.
"Shh, shh... it's all right, you two." I ran my fingers through their hair.
"I-I'm so sorry, Ita! You're practically mein bruder, and... and..." Prussia hiccupped.
"It's okay. Everybody makes mistakes, even nations." I smiled softly.
"Bitte... forgive me..." Germany begged.
"I forgive you, Germany. Prussia, I forgive you too." I chuckled lightly. "Come, now. What would Acel think, seeing his Awesome brother crying like this?" I looked at Prussia.
"H-he wouldn't think of me as Awesome after what I've done." He shook his head.
"Well, I think you are awesome." I smiled. "And I think he'd be more proud of his brother for having the strength and courage to admit his faults."
"Y-you really think so?" He looked up at me with teary red eyes, and I couldn't help but grin. "Yes. I do. You realize you look like an utterly adorable chibi right now?"
"H-he's right, bruder." Germany gave a watery laugh as he also saw it. "Danke... Italien. I'll make it up to you somehow. Und don't say I don't have to! I do. For meinself." He gave me a serious look before he gave me a small grin.
"All right, then." I smiled and stood up. "Now come on, mopey-butts! Luciano and Klaus are downstairs waiting for you two! I told them to find a group game or activity for everyone to play, and I've got a few more people to talk to, so go on ahead, and I'll be down shortly."
The two laughed lightly, and I smiled. So that's Germany, Prussia, Romano, and England. Arthur's getting France, so that makes Five... Japan already knows he's good, so make that Six... Spain was in a coma all loop, so he probably doesn't really feel very guilty, so Seven. Four to go. Russia, America, Canada, and China.
I sighed, trying to decide who to go to next. My question was answered when China rounded the corner. "There you are. I need to talk to you." He said, taking me by surprise.
"Oh? All right." I smiled as he led me back to his room, where Russia was also waiting.
"I want to apologize. I should never have treated your injuries so coarsely or carelessly, no matter what my personal opinions of you at the time were. And I'm also sorry for not believing you. I had no right to act as I did." China pulled me into a hug, surprising me for a moment, as he normally wasn't so touchy-feely. "If I remember correctly, your culture is very physical, right? So a hug would be how you'd apologize?" He pulled back, and I realized what he was doing. He was trying to apologize to me as one would in my culture. I was touched, and I couldn't help my small laugh.
"Thank you. Grazie, you're forgiven. Both of you." I looked at Russia, who reeled back in shock.
"You... are forgiving me? Even after what I did?" Russia blinked owlishly at me, and I couldn't help but chuckle. He looked so innocent.
"Yes, Russia. I forgive you." I smiled, patting his head. He smiled back, a light blush on his features, and I was once again reminded of how childish the large nation could be.
"That makes me happy!" He grinned and pulled me into a hug. I didn't stop him, and instead hugged him back, surprising him. I smirked and pulled China into the hug too—nearly by the ponytail.
"Aiyaa! I am too old for this!" He complained, despite the giant grin of relief on his face.
"Ve~ You're never too old for hugs!" I corrected him. Eventually, though, we had to let the hug end. "Go on downstairs. Japan should be waiting for you, and I'll come down later."
"Wait, where are you going?" Russia asked.
"Oh, I've still got a few people to talk to."
"I see... Good luck, then." China said. "Let me know if there's anything I can help you with. I'll make it up to you, you know." He said, glancing at my left eye, which was again concealed with a glamour.
"You don't—"
"Yes I do, aru." He stated firmly, and Russia nodded his head.
"We have hurt you. You may have forgiven us, but let us make it right, somehow. We have to be doing something to help." Russia explained, patting my head as he left the room.
I sighed, heading over to Canada's room, where I could hear the brothers talking quietly. I knocked. "Who's there?" Canada's voice called out.
"It's Italy. Can I come in?"
"Sure. The door's unlocked." America answered, and I twitched. I hate unlocked doors. I went in to find them sitting on one of the two beds in the room. Again, I locked the door behind me on reflex.
"So what's up?" America grinned, though I could tell by the way he jiggled his leg that he was nervous. Canada refused to meet my gaze, hugging a stuffed bear tightly, as Kumajiro wasn't actually there with us.
"I want to tell you two something."
"I'm sorry." Canada spoke so quietly that I wouldn't have been able to hear him if I didn't have enhanced hearing from all my looping. "I... didn't stand up for you, even though I knew it was wrong. I'm sure I knew it was wrong, but..." Tears started falling from his violet eyes, and I reached out a hand to rest on his shoulder. He looked up, startled.
"I forgive you." I said, and he blinked, before laughing softly.
"Of course you do. You're too kind, Italy."
"I'd understand if you didn't..." America trailed off, as if realizing something. "You've had the time, haven't you? You hated us for so long... you spent all your anger up, didn't you? You've spent that anger and forgiven us because you've had the time..."
"You're sharper than you make yourself out to be." I smirked. "You're one of the only ones to realize..."
"Well... I do have fifty-one kids to look after. Dealing with so many teenagers at once does give a guy some observational skills, you know." He crossed his arms indignantly.
"So we're all good, then?" Canada looked at the two of us.
"Yeah, I think so." America shrugged.
"We're all good." I grinned. "Come on, let's head downstairs. Everyone should be there already."
Everybody was downstairs, mingling in high spirits. I smiled, glad that everyone was finally rid of their sour mood from earlier. Even Romano was downstairs with Yang.
He walked over to me, and Canada and America left us alone to talk. "Hey, fratello." I smiled. He looked up, nervous. He glanced at Yang, who gave him an encouraging smile.
"H-hey... I... I'm sorry... For avoiding you all day, and for... you know..." He bowed his head. "Trying to kill you and disowning you and, God, Felice, I had no right to say what I did, and—" I put my finger on his mouth, forcing him to stop.
"Don't ramble." I advised, placing my finger under his chin and forcing him to meet my gaze. "I forgive you, fratello... for all of it. You're still my brother, idiota." I gently flicked his forehead, and a bright, relieved smile spread across his features.
"R-really?"
"I'm not lying. Close your eyes and listen." He closed his eyes. "I forgive you. I no longer hold any anger towards you, and I once more can trust you, fratello. You're my brother... my twin. Ti voglio bene." Tears flowed down his cheeks as he wrapped me in a hug and quietly sobbed. It only lasted a few minutes before he pulled away, erasing the evidence on his cheeks.
"T-the fuck are you shitholes staring at?!" He glared at the room. A few brave souls chuckled and his fist burst into flames. "You wanna try me, you fuck?!"
I placed a hand on his shoulder. "Cool it, flame-brain." I laughed. "Now who wants pasta~?" I chirped, and everyone grinned.
"Luci~! Let's get started!!"
Hours later, the party was in full swing, and everyone was grinning. America had his iPhone on him, and hooked it up to some conjured speakers. His party playlist wasn't to everyone's tastes, but nobody really minded—besides, it had enough variety that everyone was satisfied at some point. Though a few were annoyed when 'Party in the USA' came on. We were all just happy that we were together, in that moment.
I smiled, watching everyone having fun. Not to say I wasn't, but I'd decided to sit on the couch and take a breather. And I didn't exactly want to get between China and America when they were playing Monopoly. Nope... best not to ignite WWIII...
I pulled out my thermos of Liquid Nitrogen, and took a swig. The icy chill swept through my body, creating a nice relaxing feeling. It was something akin to a cold glass of ice water after a long walk home in the summer heat. Refreshing, relaxing, and revitalizing.
A little bit spilled onto the table. "Oh!" Austria went to clean it up with a cloth, only to have the cloth freeze to the table. I chuckled at his clueless expression.
"You can't just wipe up liquid nitrogen, Vati." I laughed, catching the attention of more than just a couple people.
"Why do you have a container of liquid nitrogen?!" America asked, confused. Oh? Did they forget? I wondered as I took another swig to hide my smirk.
"NO!" Several people in the room cried out as I drank deeply from my thermos. They stood there, blinking owlishly when there were no adverse reactions.
"Winter. Remember?" I raised an eyebrow. "This is no colder to me than iced water is to you."
"Yeah, like this..." Romano opened his red thermos, from which a dull red glow emanated. "is just a hot cup of coffee to me." He shrugged, downing a nice big gulp of lava. A small amount clung to his upper lip, and he idly wiped it away, accidentally leaving a burn on his sleeve.
"Ay... that's going to take some getting used to..." Spain shook his head, and Romano and I chuckled.
"Can you drink lava?" Canada turned to Flavio, curious.
"M-me?! No way! I'm not Summer. And Luciano isn't Winter." He shook his head rapidly.
"Wait, so you two are Summer and Winter, but your 2Ps are just... normal?" Prussia looked between the four of us.
"Pretty much." I shrugged. "Though Yang is as much part of Winter as I am."
"Gimme some~" Yang whined, reaching for my thermos.
"No! Get your own damn nitrogen, you jerk." I stuck out my tongue at him.
"Careful, or you might lose that tongue of yours again." Yang smirked darkly.
The memories of 222 were fresh for us both, and it reignited a bit of animosity between the two of us.
"One time!" I glared.
"One less than I would've." He shrugged.
"Oh, and let's not forget that time you thought you were drowning in the bathtub?" I smirked.
"You promised to never mention that!" He steamed.
"I did no such thing. You just assumed I promised, but I never answered." I huffed. "You know how I feel about promises."
Yang glared back. "Well, if I'd been the one Fronting, there's no way it would've taken me so long to get them all out!"
"Did you forget already, genius? The time you did Front you threw the entire fucking loop!" I spat.
"It likely would've failed anyways!"
"Well, we'll never know, now, will we?"
"Hey, guys! Cool it." America stated firmly, getting between the two of us and pushing us apart.
We turned to him in sync, and spoke flatly. "You cool it." We both blew gently into his face, producing an icy wind that coated his hair and eyelashes in a thin layer of frost. He stepped back, blinking in surprise.
I turned to look at Yang. "There are several things I want to say to you right now, but why not settle this like artists?" I smirked, and he grinned.
"Fine, but I choose the song." He snatched my iPod from my pocket, and scrolled through several different playlists and albums until he found what he wanted.
He tossed the device casually to America. "Play that."
"You're really going to sing fight? What is this, a musical?" He shook his head.
"It's a venting technique for us, okay?" I twitched.
"Fine, fine, whatever." He shrugged, placing the iPod on the stand and hitting play.
A moment later, the song started up. The intro to Wolf in Sheep's Clothing came on. I smirked. Oh, it's this one? Fine, bitch.
Yang smirked as he started. "This is about you." He laughed.
"Beware, beware, be skeptical. Of their smiles, their smiles of plated gold.
Deceit so natural, but a wolf in sheep's clothing is more than a warning."
I rolled my eyes in a mocking manner. "Oh, Bla-bla-black sheep, have you any soul?" I smirked, mocking him in the next line. "No sir, by the way, what the hell are morals?" Ying, be nimble, Ying, be quick! Yang's a little whore and his alibis are dirty tricks!" He twitched, offended, as I continued into the chorus.
"So could you... Tell me how you're sleeping easy? How you're only thinking of yourself? Show me how you justify telling all your lies like second nature? Listen; mark my words, one day, you will pay, you will pay! Karma's gonna come collect your debt!"
I danced lightly to the interlude as I started the next verse, with a smirk, ignoring the twitch in Yang's eyebrow. The others were watching with interest, and I noticed America mouthing the words with a grin.
"Aware, aware, you stalk your prey, with criminal mentality. You sink your teeth into the people you depend on, infecting everyone, you're quite the problem." I flicked my wrist in a 'shoo' motion, sparking Yang's ire once more. He picked up the next part, starting off with an angry mocking tone.
"Oh, Fee fi fo fum, you better run and hide! I smell the blood of a petty little coward! Ying be lethal, Ying be slick, or I will leave you lonely, dying in a filthy ditch!" He spat, before the smirk reappeared. "So could you... Tell me how you're sleeping easy? Even after everything you did?" He raised an eyebrow in challenge. "Show me how you justify leaving all your friends alone to die? Listen; mark my words one day... you will pay. You will pay! Karma's gonna come collect your debt!"
His words ticked me off, but I swallowed back my anger as I switched off with him. "Maybe you'll change? Abandon all your twisted ways... Make amends and start anew again! Maybe you'll see? All the wrongs you did to me. And start all over start all over." I couldn't help but laugh at the absurdity of my own words.
"Oh, who am I kidding?! Let's not get overzealous here!" I smirked wickedly. "You've always been a huge piece of shit!" I glared harshly at him, nearly screaming the next lines. "And if I could Kill you, I would." Then I smiled sweetly, speaking in an innocent voice. "But it's frowned upon in all fifty states." I shrugged. "Having said that?" I glared again, pouring my anger into the next three words. "Burn in Hell!" I laughed madly, something that wouldn't be out of place in the Mansion.
Yang looked impressed by my vocal range despite himself, and we both sang the chorus together, our anger nearly spent. "So tell me, how you're sleepin' easy? How you're only thinking of yourself? Show me, how you justify telling all your lies like second nature? Listen; mark my words one day... you will pay. You will pay!" I said the next line, looking right into his eyes, a friendly teasing expression on my face as I waggled my finger in warning. "Karma's gonna come collect your debt."
He laughed, mirroring my expression. "Karma's gonna come collect your debt." He warned back. We sang the last line together.
"Karma's gonna come collect our debt!" The song ended, and the two of us shared a grin, our previous anger was practically gone.
"You're so weird, I can't believe I'm related to you." Luciano huffed, crossing his arms.
"Oh, come now, I liked it! Good job, you two!" Flavio applauded, alongside several other nations.
"Show-offs." Jason rolled his eyes, and I twitched.
"You got something to say, jack-ass?" I glared.
"Yeah! You fucking suck!" He barked, jumping to his feet.
"Oh, like you're any fucking angel?! I've heard your singing voice, and I think nails on chalkboard sound better than you!"
"Get off your fucking high-horse, Mr. Winter." He mocked.
"You don't wanna mess with a General, stronzo." I spat.
"Wasn't that the name of the bloke from the memories?" England muttered lowly to America, who shrugged.
"Stronzo is Italian for 'turd', but it can be pretty insulting if you don't know the person well enough. He's essentially calling him a stuck-up selfish ass who doesn't care about anyone else." Romano explained, nodding approvingly, despite his earlier chastising of my language a few days ago.
"Now, now! Break it up, you two!" Yang jumped in, pushing us apart. "Can't believe I'm the one playing peacekeeper." He muttered, shaking his head even as he pulled me away from Jason. "I would say I'd expected more maturity from you, but I've been in your head too long. I knew you'd start a fight with him eventually."
"Testa di cazzo." I glared at Yang, who rolled his eyes.
"Vaffanculo." He replied easily.
"Now, how about we actually enjoy the celebrations?" America suggested, holding his fuming 2P back much as Luciano and Yang were to me.
"I agree!" Oliver grinned. "No more frowny faces! I made cupcakes~!"
I smiled despite myself. Though there was more blood ahead... the worst was behind us. And we'd come out of these hardships closer than ever. We weren't healed, but we were healing. And that was a start.
"We're almost there." I muttered with a wry smile. "We're almost there..."
A/N: I tried to write it faster... But it became longer than I expected. I don't usually do songfic kind of things, but I figured you'd appreciate it. ^^
I dedicate this chapter to my friend, who's recently had a bit of a tough time IRL lately... May this make you smile, because you deserve happiness.
I wrote most of this chapter listening to the band, Faun. It's a German band that's really awesome, and I'd recommend listening to them~! ^^
Also shout out to my Italian friend, Bex! Thank you for all your help with my crappy Italian! Look forward to your help in the future, as well!
Words: 4,528/4,892
Pages: 9/10
Posted: 02/08/2019
Edited: 03/18/2019
Video Added: 05/19/2019
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