Chapter 41: Lessons Hard Learned

The next scene started abruptly. One moment, we were in the World Meeting Place, the next, we were in the Fireplace Room of the Mansion. Francis was laying dead in one of the beds, and Feliciano was standing there, staring at him in shock. Francis was skin and bones, as was Feli. Arthur and Matthew were sitting in chairs, asleep. Though they were just as thin, they were also hurt.

"What are we looking at?" France asked, staring in shock at his corpse.

"Loop 7." I sighed. "I got you all to survive for a few months, but that's when another issue came up."

"No food." England's eyes widened. "Did... did France starve to death?!"

"Don't be ridiculous!" China admonished. "Nations cannot starve to death!"

"Nations also cannot die permanently from injuries." Russia pointed out.

"He did." I stopped the argument. "France died from starvation." The room was silent.

"Wh-what?!" Austria cried out, shocked.

"Hold on, a moment, Dearie." Oliver cut in. "If he starved to death, that means that this place does more than simply make us mortal."

"Are you saying it makes us human?!" Jason glared, as if that very statement offended him. Luciano and I shared a look.

"It..." I stopped myself when I felt my Journal heat up in my grasp, warning me that I was toeing the line again. Yeah, fuck you too, bastard. I sighed. "It's something we cannot explain."

"That's going to get real old, real quick." Kuro huffed.

The next memory phased in to show Feliciano exploring with Matthew and several others in the Basement. "I'll go check in there~!" Feli smiled as he ran into the small square room that's located at the top of the Basement Entrance Room. He dashed inside, careful to close the door behind him. The Thing was waiting for him in there, and he startled.

"Fuck you!" Feliciano flipped it off before engaging it in a fight. It nearly took off his head, when an arrow suddenly embedded itself in the Thing's shoulder.

Feliciano whipped around to find Matthew standing there. "Need a hand, Italy?" He smiled. Neither nation looked too beat up, so it was fairly early in the Loop.

"Aim for the forehead. That's its weak spot." Feli said, as Matthew knocked another arrow. He nodded, and his aim was true. Moments later, the Thing vanished.

"You're getting better at that." Feli complimented.

"Um... thank you?" Matthew looked uncomfortable. "Italy, you seemed to know what it wanted... You've been acting strangely since we got here, and you keep wondering off on your own. What's going on?"

Feliciano was quiet for a long moment, contemplating his next words. "You can't tell the others, okay?"

"O...kay?"

"I... Er.... I'm not sure how to explain it. This isn't really the first time we've been here. But the first time we came, all of you died, and I was the only one left." Feliciano started to cry, as recounting the pain of the First Loop was a bit much for him. "I... I felt so alone, and hopeless... I couldn't! I just... I found this Journal." He showed the book, which looked a lot cleaner than mine was, now. "It lets me go back in time to try to save you all."

"..." Matthew was silent for a moment. "You're being serious."

Feliciano deflated. "I should've known you wouldn't believe me." He turned to leave.

"I do believe you." Matthew spoke up suddenly, causing Feliciano to whirl around in shock.

"R-really?! Because every time I've tried explaining it to you guys, you all dismiss me!"

"It makes too much sense... Really, I don't think the others would with so little evidence, but... call it a feeling. Besides, you aren't the kind of person who would joke about something like this." Matthew smiled.

"We can't tell the others... They wouldn't believe us, and... it hurts less that way." Feliciano sighed.

"All right. You know more than me on this place, so I'll let you call the shots. But know that I'm here for you, Italy." Matthew smiled. "I believe you, and I'll help you protect the others. You aren't alone anymore." He pulled the other nation into a hug, as Feliciano cried.

I sighed. I was so naïve... Thinking that such promises would actually do anything.

The scene faded out for a moment before it faded back in, showing a much more tired group fighting on the Fourth Floor. The same room in which the Mochi would eventually show up, stuck in a wall many, many loops later.

The group consisted of Alfred, Matthew, Arthur, Francis, Ludwig, and Feliciano, and everyone was injured to some extent.

"Day six of Loop 27." I stated. "Same loop as you saw earlier."

"Twenty seven?!" Romano stared. I stared at him for a moment. Then I couldn't help but laugh. I laughed so hard that tears pricked my eyes, and even Yang joined in.

"Oh, Dio, Fratello, if Loop 27 scares you, then you really have no idea." I calmed down, though the others were looking at us like we were nuts. Which may have been a valid concern. Japan just looked at me with sorrow.

"27 was one of the baby Loops for us both." Luciano explained. "Please, try not to have a heart attack as we climb up the Loop numbers."

"H-how high..." Romano shook his head, unsure of if he wanted to know.

"NO!" Feliciano's voice suddenly cried out, and the nations turned to see Matthew standing protectively in front of Feliciano. The Thing's tail rammed into him, hard, the spikes running him through in multiple places.

"C-Canada!" Feliciano cried. "Why?"

"You... you're our only hope, Italy..." He coughed. "And I'm sorry you have to see me fall again, but... I have faith in you. You can save us all."

Feliciano watched in horror as he fell off the spikes, dead. Alfred suddenly grasped his head, as if in pain, before he glared at the Thing. "MATTIE!" He cried out, brandishing a switchblade as he discarded his jammed gun. He ran at the monster, diverting his path at the last minute when Feliciano instructed him to aim for the forehead.

Minutes later, the beast was gone, and so was Matthew. "Non... Matthieu..." Francis stumbled over to his son in shock, while Feliciano stood numbly in the background. Arthur was trying his best to offer Alfred some kind of comfort, while Ludwig stood off to the side near Feliciano.

"I failed again." Feli sighed suddenly, looking drained. His happy mask was gone, and the others stared at him in confusion.

"Italien?" Ludwig asked.

"Don't worry about it." Feliciano shook his head, as he went to leave the room.

"H-hey! Where are you going?" Arthur asked. "It's still dangerous out there!"

"Maybe I should work on my fighting skills?" Feliciano muttered to himself, before turning to the others. "I'm sorry. I won't fail you guys next time."

"Next time? Fail us? What are you talking about?" Francis tried to dry his tears, even as Kumajiro nuzzled Matthew's limp hand. But Feliciano was talking to himself, and paid the others little mind.

"It doesn't matter anymore. This Loop's finished." Feli sighed, turning away from the nations. "It was in the Piano Room this time..." He muttered as he walked off. After a moment, Ludwig, Arthur, and Alfred followed behind him.

"Where the devil are you going?" Arthur asked, baffled as Feli led them back to the Piano room on the Third Floor.

"You don't have to follow." Feliciano answered hollowly. In the upper left corner of the room, opposite the drawers, was a mahogany Grandfather Clock. It looked pristine, and seemed to be working just fine, though the hands were stopped on 4 O'clock.

Japan shuddered. "How fitting..."

"What?" Louis asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Four is the number most closely associated with death in my country. That's why we almost never the word 'shi', but 'yon', instead." Japan explained.

"It's bad luck in my country, too." China sighed.

"Stupid to be superstitious over a number." Kuro rolled his eyes.

"Superstitions came about for a reason." Kiku reminded him.

"Yeah." He scoffed. "Because people are gullible idiots."

"That's enough, you two." I sent them each a glare, surprising both. "Kuro, stop being such a dick. Do you have to antagonize everyone?"

"Hai." He answered promptly.

"Of course you do." I sighed, as Feliciano ignored the nations' confused shouts as they hit some kind of magical barrier that was just a few meters in diameter around the area of the clock. Feli himself could walk through it effortlessly, and he came to a stop just before the clock.

The Thing came out of nowhere, and attacked Feliciano. He was unable to dodge the claw swipe, and ended up with a nasty wound from his left shoulder to his right hip. He cried out in pain, before rolling out of the way of an oncoming tail smash. With a mighty cry, he swung his sword at the Thing's forehead, killing it. It grinned as it vanished. Alfred and Arthur watched the entire fight unfold in horror, unable to get through the barrier to help.

Feliciano slumped against the wall for a moment, catching his breath. "Oh... I nearly forgot." He opened his Journal, and took out a pen. He painstakingly wrote an entry down before clicking his pen and putting it back in his pocket. He got back up, ignoring the questions and words of the nations, as he went back over to the clock.

He reached up, moving the hands counter clockwise until they reached the twelve O'clock position. As he did so, he muttered under his breath. "I, Veneziano Italy, Ryuuzu no Ko, Activate you." It started to chime as Feliciano smeared some of his blood across the face of the clock.

Suddenly, the white light from the First Loop came again, and we all got the strong sensation of falling backwards, causing a few nations to let out startled yells. Poor Louis almost fell out of his chair.

"That's disorientating." America shook his head. "You also ignored us. The hell?" He crossed his arms.

"What was I supposed to do? I was going to turn back time anyways." I pointed out. "To explain things to you would've only been a waste of time and energy, seeing as you were going to forget it within the hour."

"I see your point." England conceded.

The next scene came up to show Feliciano and Kiku in the kitchen, investigating a broken plate. "Ooh..." I winced.

"What is it?" Germany asked, taking a good look at the heavy bags under Feliciano's eyes. "You looked so tired."

"Ve... well, every time I slept, I started to lose specific memories." I admitted. "So I sort of decided to try not sleeping for a while."

"You... you what?" Romano blinked in surprise. "But you have one of the best memories I've ever seen!"

"I do now, fratello. And I may have had a good memory before all this, but..."

"The Magick... Using such Old Magick must've been too much for your body to handle... So it started to reject your memories as a way to try to cope." England realized.

"Exactly." I nodded. "Though that blew over a while back." I shrugged. "This is Loop 47, by the way."

Flavio choked, and Luciano patted his shoulder in support. "It gets worse."

"What about you, fratello?" Flavio asked, looking at Luciano. "Did you get as high as Feli?"

"Oh, no. Not by a long shot." He laughed darkly. "But it's higher than you're expecting, for sure."

"That doesn't instill much confidence." Flavio sighed.

"It's a broken plate." Feliciano stated, looking at the shards of ceramic. He subconsciously rubbed his knuckles, and the nations noticed that there were several scars there from Loop One.

"Hai... I don't see anything else of interest, here. So let's head back to the others." Kiku agreed.

Feliciano suddenly went a little pale. "Oh, no..."

"Nani? What's wrong, Itary-kun?"

"I... have a bad feeling. Let's hurry!" Feliciano rushed out of the Kitchen with Kiku on his heels, but they were too late.

Germany and Prussia gagged upon seeing their mutilated corpses. "Mein Gott!!" Prussia leaned on France for support, though the Frenchman didn't look much better.

"Well... that's a bit gorier than I expected." Kuro muttered as he took in the disemboweled corpse of Ludwig.

"W-what?!" Kiku went alarmingly pale, and Feliciano looked sickened and angry.

"If you guys think this is bad..." I sighed. "Then you'd best not watch if Forbidden Loop #3 shows up."

"Forbidden Loop?" Markus raised an eyebrow.

"A name I've given to the worst loops in the Mansion. Forbidden Loop #3 is also known as The Bloodbath Loop. It was the goriest Loop in all my time in the Mansion." I explained.

"And he's not kidding, either." Luciano looked a little green, remembering the Time Shards he'd seen of it.

"Even you're nauseous thinking of it?" Klaus blinked in surprise.

"I... saw some of the aftermath." He refused to elaborate further.

Feliciano sighed, pulling out his Journal. "Come on, Japan. There's nothing we can do, now." He stated, walking away.

"I-Itary-kun...?" Kiku hesitantly followed after him.

"I need you to help me find the Grandfather Clock. I can fix this if we find it."

"Fix... Itary-kun, what are you talking about?!" Kiku demanded. "What is going on here?"

Feliciano turned to look at the frustrated dark-haired man behind him. "This place is haunted by monsters I call the Things. That's what killed Germany and Prussia. It doesn't matter, now, though. I'll have to go back again." He sighed. "I haven't failed this early on in over ten loops... I'm getting sloppy."

"How does it not matter? Our friends are lying dead back there!"

"You were so desensitized to it..." Prussia shuddered.

"Because I can bring them back, Japan." Feliciano sighed, taking on the tone someone used when explaining a simple concept to a child. "But to do that, we must find the Grandfather Clock. It's somewhere in this Mansion."

"I'm not sure I understand what's going on." Kiku's eye twitched in irritation.

"You probably won't. I don't have the energy to explain this to you right now." Feli sighed, walking up the staircase to check the Second Floor. "If you don't want to come, then fine. But you're probably a bit safer with me, just so you know."

"You're being awfully rude, here." China shot me a mild glare.

"I'm sorry, Japan." I apologized. "I was so tired and—"

"Iie. I completely understand, now, Itary-kun." Japan smiled. "I'd likely do the same in your situation, all things considered. This is the 47th time you've gone back for us, after all. It's understandable that you wouldn't want to explain the same thing dozens of times to the same person."

The scene faded out again, only to come right back up to show Feliciano exploring with Gilbert and Francis. "Ve~ Where do you think the key goes?" He asked, looking down at a key in his hand. I mean, I already know it goes to the Basement... Feli's thoughts echoed. I can tell by the little chip in the ring. Maybe I should try labeling them?

"Let's try all the locked doors, and we'll see." Gilbert laughed.

"Oui. And we can look for the others while we're at it." Francis nodded. Feliciano trailed after them, looking miserably exhausted. "Italie..." Francis spoke up again. "You look tired. Would you like to lay down somewhere and take a nap while Prussia and I take a look around?"

"N-no... I'm okay." He shook his head sharply, to try to jolt himself awake.

Neither looked like they believed him, but they let it slide. They walked along for a while, before coming up to the Third Floor. Feliciano stopped suddenly, a look of dread on his features.

"Ita?" Gilbert asked, concerned. "What's the matter?"

"No... Oh, God, no... How could I have forgotten?!" He paled rapidly, not seeming to hear Gilbert or Francis at all. He took off at a run, taking the remaining stairs three at a time, and rounding the corner sharply, using the railing to swing around into the Piano Room.

Kiku was already dead, laying against the piano, just like Loop One. Gilbert and Francis came running in a half minute later, panting. "Ita! You can't just run off like tha—" He stopped abruptly when he saw Kiku. "J-Japan?!"

"Non..." Francis stared. "It... It can't be!"

"Damnit!" Feliciano punched the wall hard enough to leave a dent. "How could I have forgotten!? That's a Loop One mistake!" He glared at the floor fiercely.

"I-Ita?" Gilbert looked at his friend, confused. He'd expected fear, or despair, or grief, but not anger. Not frustration.

"God, I'm so hopeless." Feliciano laughed bitterly to himself, as he pulled out his Journal and his pen. "125 Loops, and I still fucked up."

"I'm sure I didn't hear that right." Romano stared. "125?!"

"Fratello, if you keep getting caught up on the little details, you'll affect your health negatively." I warned him.

Asher whined. "You call 125 Loops little... Pup, how long were you stuck in that horrible place?" I did not answer him.

"He calls that little." Flavio scoffed in disbelief.

"To us, it is." Luciano reminded him.

"I made the mistake of letting Japan go the Piano Room alone." I stated. "That's something I hadn't done since Loop One."

"It's understandable." Klaus spoke up. "After over a hundred times of the same thing, I mean. You're bound to overlap mistakes at some point."

"No, you don't understand. Loop One was always ingrained fiercely in my mind. I never made Loop One mistakes, and I was paranoid of the Piano Room, in particular. At least, where Japan was concerned. Just like I never really left Germany or Prussia alone in the Basement."

"Or us in the Lever Room." America's eyes lit up in realization. "I remember a little more, now. You always kept a close eye on me, and Iggy and Mattie when we were in there."

"Of course. That's where you died the First Time. Even when I was at a point when I couldn't remember my own name, I never forgot the deaths of Loop One."

The scene faded out again.

"Man! This is going to take forever!" Yang complained, making a few of the 1Ps jump, as they'd forgotten he was there.

"You're annoying, shut up." Jason glared.

"As much as I loathe to agree with dumbass over here..." I gestured to Jason. "Though you have been surprisingly quiet."

"What did you call me?" Jason raised an eyebrow.

"Oh, I'm sorry, were my words too big for you?" I smirked.

"No. No, no. I'm not letting you two get into it again." Luciano stepped in.

"Aw, but Luci~ we were bonding." I gave him a too-sweet smile.

"No, you were about to start an argument so you had an excuse to fight."

"Che." I looked away.

"I know you don't like Jason."

"Feeling's mutual." Jason butted in.

"But you can't go picking fights whenever you want." Luciano continued as if he hadn't been interrupted.

"But Italy likes everyone..." America blinked in surprise.

"Not your 2P, I don't. I learned that while I was looping in the 2P Mansion." I shot Jason a small glare before turning my attention to Yang. "I know that look... What is it?"

"What? You really think I'm planning something?" He smiled.

"Yes." Luciano and I deadpanned together.

"Fine, fine. I was wondering if I could cook tonight for dinner." I blinked several times.

"Scusa?"

"I asked if I could cook, damnit!" His face tinged red.

"You... want to... cook?"

"YES!" He glared at me. "Is that really so hard to believe?! I actually like cooking, okay?!"

"Fine... You can make dinner tonight, but don't poison anyone. Oliver wouldn't take kindly to you trying to poison his mortal son." I warned him.

"I'm not suicidal." He huffed.

"No, you're homicidal, which is what I'm worried about."

"Okay, okay! Enough, you two." Romano stepped in. "Look, you can stand there arguing all day, or we can get back to the memories at hand?"

"Fair enough." I shrugged. "We can take a break for dinner and bed after the next set, sound fair?"

"That sounds like a wonderful idea~!" Oliver smiled cheerfully. "All these memories are really bringing down the mood, and I think we should play some games after dinner to cheer ourselves up a bit!"

"You want us to sit around playing charades?" Markus turned towards the strawberry blond in disbelief.

"Or Uno! That's such a fun game~! Or maybe Clue!" Oliver continued.

"Non." Louis took a drag off his cigarette. "I'll be going to bed as soon as dinner is over."

"For once, I agree with my 2P." France nodded.

"Oliver, no board games tonight, I'm afraid." England spoke up. "I fear everyone's too tired from today's ordeal."

"What a shame." Oliver sighed in disappointment. "Maybe tomorrow?"

"Maybe." America chuckled, and I sighed, realizing that the next loop would probably be... Forbidden Loop #4.

A/N: Hello everyone~! Here's today's promised chapter. ^^

As some of you may have realized, That Loop is coming up. And I have a few people who are slowly but surely convincing me (Anime Doom, thank you) to keep it in line and show it on its proper Loop number, 222, rather than through a flashback, as I'd originally planned. ^^ I've been debating back and forth for a good deal of this story on which I should do...

So keep those tissues close by, just in case!

Also! Any SoCal readers out there? I'm looking into starting a monthly or bi-monthly meetup for anyone near Riverside/San Diego County area! If you're interested in trying to see if we can do this (a sort of Hetalia Club), then message me on Telegram! We've got a group chat going!!

There's always something I forget to put in these Author's Notes... Well, I've been thinking for over 40 minutes, and nothing. I'll remember it as soon as I post the chapter, but whatever. (Maybe I should start taking notes??)

But yeah. Hope you've enjoyed the update~! ^^

Oh! Right... For my Pasts and Secrets fans. Someone has told me that they've reported the story. If it gets taken down, this is why. I apologize in advance, and if you really want to read it, I'll e-mail you a copy (in the event that it's taken down).

Words: 3,412/3,530

Pages: 8

Posted: 01/27/2019

Edited: 03/14/2019